Learn to know the Moon
by BookWitch
Summary: After Voldemort's downfall, Prof. Snape has to change his life completely due to a wrong medical treatment and he learns a lot about werewolves. No love story and being written and not quite finished before book 6 was published.
1. 1 Home

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story. They are J.K. Rowling's and I am merely borrowing them for the fun of creating a story.  
  
Learn to know the Moon  
  
1 Home  
  
Crack. When the toast jumped out the man with the gaunt face and shoulderlength black hair, who had just finished eating his cereal, pushed away the empty bowl and reached over absentmindedly without looking up from his newspaper to take the roasted slice out. He only put the paper down for a second to butter the toast, but didn't avert his eyes from his reading for this task, then picked the paper up again. After he had finished the toast and drowned the rest of his tea, he checked his watch, sighed and finally put the paper down on the table. He would be late. As if it mattered. He snorted. The Ministry house elves were quite capable of working without his supervision, they were probably even better off without him standing in the way.  
  
He decided to do the washing up tonight after work and stood up from the table to leave the kitchen. When he reached the door, he paused at the calender which hung close to the door frame. Today was October the 30th. A date he didn't like to be reminded of. Three years it had been since it had happened. Three years ago he was forced to abandon his former life, a life he had hated on the one hand, but on the other hand, was also missing terribly. Down from the nail which was holding the calender hung in a somewhat careless manner a metallic ornated object on a silver coloured ribbon which was one of the few things he allowed to have around him as a reminiscence to his former life. It bore the words 'Order of Merlin. First Class'. He reached out with his long elegant fingers to touch it but stopped halfway. He turned apruptly, went out of the kitchen, took his winter cloak from the peg in the corridor, put it on and went out of the door of his flat. Just in time, he stopped himself from slamming it. He wasn't supposed to slam doors in this house. This was a 'friendly caring neighbourhood', as they had told him when he had moved in. If he started slamming doors, somebody would probably turn up to ask him if anything was wrong. Last time he had slammed doors in his flat, and that had happened quite often during the first time after he had moved in, the kind old lady from above, Mrs. Perkins, had visited him one evening and asked if he needed any help or wanted to talk. She had looked at him with a very worried expression as if she was thinking he was planning to commit suicide any minute. No, he didn't want to upset these friendly people. And he definitely didn't want to give the Ministry any wrong ideas about him, as that would only give them a reason to bother him with more social workers' visits or 'integrate into muggle society' programmes. That was the reason which caused him to close the door to his flat, which bore the name 'S. Snape' on the nameplate, carefully.  
  
Severus Snape was proceeding swiftly down the stairs when Mrs. Forrester and her two children, a six year old boy named Philipp and her nine year old daughter Fiona peeked out of their door.  
  
'Good morning, Mr. Snape. That's quite fortunate to see you. You won't forget that we will have our house Halloween party tomorrow night? You are coming, aren't you?'  
  
'Good morning. Uhm. No, I won't forget. I'll come. I'll contribute a salad, if you don't mind,' he answered in the most polite tone he could muster.  
  
'Splendid, you'll see you'll like it,' Mrs. Forrester answered enthusiastically.  
  
Severus only nodded and wanted to turn to get on his way again when the boy suddenly asked 'And as what are you coming?'  
  
'As what?' he asked back, bearing a confused expression on his face. What was it now he was supposed to know about muggle customs ?  
  
'Your costume, of course. You know, I guess you could dress up as a vampire.'  
  
'Phillip,' Mrs. Forrester said disapprovingly, 'I am sorry, Mr. Snape. To appear in costume is not compulsory for adults, but some do. We think it's a lot of fun, makes things a lot less formal, you know,' she laughed nervously.  
  
Yes, of course, muggle Halloween parties. He had heard about that in one of his 'integrating classes' at the Ministry. Muggles, mostly children and young people, but sometimes also adults dressed up as ghosts, vampires, pumpkins and ... 'I see. I think I will come as a wizard then,' Severus said before it occured to him that this would be a rather bold thing for him to do.  
  
'Cool,' Philipp said impressed. 'You've got a wizard's costume for adults, with hat, wand and all ? You don't look the type going on these parties, you know.'  
  
'I don't, actually. It's an old family costume,' Severus said quickly. 'Excuse me, I have to go to work now. See you tomorrow then.'  
  
While he walked down the stairs to the entrance door he wondered what he had been thinking. Him, of all people, dressing up as a wizard at a muggle party. Things were definitely going downhill with him. Although, he continued his musings while he was walking in the direction of the next underground station, maybe it wasn't all that bad. The muggles didn't know that he was a wizard. They didn't believe in magic and if it made things 'less formal' as Mrs. Forrester had said, he would dress in his old Potion Master's robes. He smiled inwardly. If they would only know that these robes were actually the most formal it could get. The wand could prove to be a problem, though. 


	2. 2 Work

Disclaimer: see chapter one  
  
2 Work  
  
When he arrived at the Ministry, he went into the telephone booth which was normally reserved for visitors and not to be used by Ministry employees. To be able to enter the proper entrance he would had to overcome some protective magic wards, and that was out of the question for the former Potions professor. Three years ago he had lost his all of his magic abilities and had to give over his wand to the Ministry. To the squib registration office, strictly speaking, because since then, Severus Snape had officially been registered as a squib. 'Snape, registry,' he spoke into the receiver. The elevator took him down into the entrance hall where he showed his Ministry badge to the officer on duty before he crossed the open space with purposeful strides to the stairs which were leading to the basement.  
  
The house elves greeted him cheerfully, as always. 'Good morning, Sir. Nothing unusual, Sir. Hope you had a good night, Sir. We wish you a good day, Sir.'  
  
He bid them a good morning as well and sat down at his desk. On his in-tray were three files. One was from Auror Longbottom's office, the other two came from Potter. A lot of enquiries came from Potter. Judging from the sheer number of files he asked for, Potter seemed to be quite busy and also thorough in his work. Severus signed the three lists of files the two Aurors required and handed them over to the elf on duty who hurried to give them to his assistant elves in turn who would collect the corresponding files.  
  
Basically, this was the only thing he was supposed to do for his work and he was quite sure the Ministry had invented this routine especially for him. There was no reason why it should be important for these lists to be signed or to supervise the house elves. As he was void of magical powers he didn't have any real control over the elves or what they did anyway. Severus had never bothered to ask somebody what the point of his presence in the registry basement really was. Because he knew why. They didn't only need him doing this job as a subterfuge for paying him this ridiculous high salary. He was sure that they wanted to keep him busy and, what was more, under control. A wizard who had lost his magic and, on top of it, had once been on 'the dark side', was potentially dangerous. Although not in possession of any magical potency anymore, let alone dark magic, theoretically, he could still try to renew old connections to plan acts of revenge against the Ministry, it's employees or even muggles. He wasn't doing anything like that, and why this deadly boring occupation should actually keep him from doing it if he had chosen to was beyond him.  
  
Over the years he had spent in the registry basement he had found a variety of occupations to fill his time. For once, he read a lot. Novels, poetry, theatre plays, also academic literature on magical matters. But that had been during the first months. At some point, when he had given up hope that he would get his magic back, he had stopped reading all the potions journals. It was just too depressing to read about the interesting projects other potion brewers were running, if you knew that you would never be able to participate in any way. As most of the potions also required magic at some stage of their development, he couldn't brew them anymore. Otherwise he would have been able to keep his teaching job, or more likely, any other job that had to do with potions, because, as most people who knew him guessed correctly, teaching had never been his favourite occupation.  
  
He also read a lot of the records down here. Most of it was boring administrative stuff, some minor criminal records, but in general not very exciting. He had never found records about the important Death Eater cases or connected families, let alone his own file of which he was sure a copy existed somewhere in the Ministry. But this kind of material would of course be classified. He didn't fool himself in that respect. They would never trust him so far as to give him access to classified records.  
  
When he wasn't reading, he very often fell asleep. But he could count on the house elves for that matter. They would always wake him up for lunch break or if it was time to go home. He was sure that they reported on him but he didn't care. He had found out very soon how far he was allowed to go considering his working morale. He had come late on purpose, sometimes even as late as lunch time, gone very early, some times even as early as lunch break. Nobody seemed to care or even notice. He had only found out that he had probably overstepped the line when he had stayed at home for several days because he had decided that it was definitely more comfortable to sleep in his bed and read on the couch than at work. Finally, that had earned him a Ministry owl from the personnel department, but only after he had been absent for over a week without giving notice to anybody. It had told him to fill in a sick leave form and had wished him well, but he knew now that simply staying at home wasn't obviously an option and that the Ministry would probably not tolerate such behaviour.  
  
He knew for sure when a Ministry social worker turned up the next day to enquire about his health, and interpreted it as a warning for having overstepped an invisible line. Consequently, he had gone back to work the day after. Not that this kept him from coming late occasionally, sleeping at his desk or reading his private books. From his point of view, anybody who was forced to do (well 'doing' wasn't even an appropriate expression, because he didn't really do anything) such boring work had a right to act as he did. Especially since he had no choice. He wasn't in this position of his free will. Being confronted with the choice between staying at St. Mungo's, permanently drugged with tranquilizing potions or being content with this job at the Ministry and a nice salary while living as a squib in a muggle environment, he had chosen the latter.  
  
Three year ago, after the Dark Lord's downfall, he had received the Order of Merlin together with the other members of the Order of the Phoenix. Shortly after the ceremony Ministry officials had approached him and told him that he was supposed to have the Dark Mark removed from his forearm and that they would bring him to St. Mungo's for the operation which would be only a routine thing. If he had only known... He should have been more suscipious about it, expecially since he was known to be someone who trusted hardly anybody. But although he knew that his magical tattoo had been conjured by very powerful dark magic, and wouldn't probably be easy to remove, he was somewhat glad that the healers seemed to have found a means to remove the much hated evidence of his former connection to the dark side.  
  
After the procedure he thought differently. It had turned out to be a total desaster. Not only that the anaesthetic hadn't worked properly and it had been excruciatingly painful when they had cauterized the tattoo, above all it had been the reason why he had lost all of his magical abilities and turned into a squib.  
  
He had found out very soon after he had woken up in the ward, after the anaesthetic had finally hit his system and sent him to sleep for hours. They had left his wand on his nightstand, as it was the general custom in wizarding hospitals. He had tried a simple spell and it hadn't worked. He had tried again and again and but still nothing had happend. He had tried different spells and incantations. Nothing. At first, he and also the healers had thought that it would only be temporary, probably due to the medication or whatever. But when days and finally weeks had passed without a change in his condition, it had become quite clear what was wrong with him. They hadn't allowed him to leave the hospital since they were expecting a somewhat extreme reaction from a wizard who was told that he would be a squib for the rest of his life.  
  
And react he did. He had simply lost it, had ranted and shouted like mad and had finally attacked the healer who had told him the final diagnosis. It had taken five people to bring him down to the floor. While the three nurses and two healers had suffered several broken ribs and black eyes, he had ended up tied up in bed filled up to the brim with tranquilizing potions for weeks. At some point, when the medication had worn off they had asked him, if he would cooperate and live as a squib and take this job at the Ministry. He hadn't really cared about details at that moment, he only wanted to get away from it all, to get some peace and perhaps the opportunity to put an end to his miserable life without anybody interfering.  
  
When he had finally moved in his flat, he had slept for days, only woken up once every day by the Ministry's social worker who brought him food. The elderly woman had been very kind, had never asked stupid questions or urged him to talk about his problems as he would have expected from a social worker. She had just watched him eating, asked if he needed anything and had gone. Then she had started giving him directions about how to deal with all the muggle devices in his flat. After two weeks she had given him the dates for his 'integrating into muggle society' classes and showed him all the shopping facilities in the neighbourhood.  
  
At first, it had been the peace and quiet of his flat which had calmed him down a great deal. He had started going shopping on his own very soon and had found out that muggle life could be very interesting. He had begun to deal with his situation as a challenge. A challenge to show the people from the Ministry that he wasn't going to crack and give up but that he was determined to blend into the non-magical world as good as a genuine muggle. After four weeks they had asked him to start working in the registry, but he had received his wages before that and had found out that shopping could also be a very rewarding activity. Shopping and buying furniture, the television set and his expensive surround system. Severus Snape had found out about muggle music.  
  
In his first weeks he had tried out a lot of the muggles' cultural activities like cinema, theatre, concerts and the like. With his inappropriately high wage he could very well afford all that and didn't need to restrict himself to free museum or library visits which were also part of his leisure time activities. In general, he had found that all very interesting, but it was only when he had gone to a concert to listen to music of the great baroque composer Bach, when it had struck him. This man's music, who had lived over 250 years ago, had somehow touched his heart and, above all, made him want to live on to listen to more of it. It was just then that he had realized that he had somehow given up on the idea of putting an end to his life. In fact, the only way he would have preferred to do it would have involved potions of a very complex quality who could only be brewed with magic, and that, obviously, was not an option. 


	3. 3 Lunch break

Disclaimer: see chapter one  
  
3 Lunch break  
  
'Mr. Snape, Sir. A file from Auror Potter, Sir!' A house elf was tugging at his sleeve. Quite obviously, he had fallen asleep again. And that only after being at work for half an hour. How pathetic. He took the file from the elf. There was a note from Potter in which he asked him for a meeting in his office after lunch.  
  
At least something to look forward to. Although, being a squib he didn't like to mix with other wizards that much. Not that he despised Potter. He had turned out to be a very intelligent student during his last years at Hogwarts and had passed his Auror exams with honours. Then, in the final encounter with Voldemort, he had acted unspeakably brave, would even have given his life if it would have helped. But they had all been quite effective as a team that day, and the only one who had sacrificed himself in the end had been Dumbledore.  
  
Albus. Snape sighed, wondering if Albus Dumbledore could have prevented the magic being taken from him if he had lived. The Minister probably wouldn't have dared to give the order. Actually, Severus Snape had a suspicion that it hadn't been accidental. As far as he knew, the healers in St. Mungo's were too learned and professional in that respect. But he had no proof for this assumption.  
  
At lunch time he went to the canteen as usual. There he took a soup, bread roll and a tea. Normally, there would have been a witch behind the counter who would have been able to put a cooling spell over his soup and tea, but not today. He hesitated. There were permanent 'keeping hot' spells on the food, and without the help of a wizard he would never be able to eat without burning himself. This was only one of the disadvantages of living and working with wizards when you were a squib. You were dependend on them in many ways. He hated that because it was so humiliating.  
  
Not that he didn't mix at all with other wizards. One Christmas, for example, Arthur Weasley had invited him for dinner. At first, Severus had pondered over the possibility of not going, but that would have been unpolite, and, what was more, as he knew that he would have to depend on some wizard acquaintances in his situation, he would rather choose some old members of the Order than strangers. Then, of course there was his longing to have, well, friends, people he could talk to apart from work, a fact he would never admit openly, though.  
  
The visit didn't turn out too bad, but it certainly had been an unsual experience and also a bit embarrassing to say the least. Everybody, and that included the whole Weasley family, husbands of the Weasley children, grandchildren, Potter, of course, and Remus Lupin, everybody had been extremely cheerful. Too cheerful for Severus' taste, but maybe it was the normal thing to be happy on Christmas and he just wasn't used to it. Everybody seemed to avoid mentioning the fact of him being a squib politely. That, at least, was the impression, the former Potions professor got from his visit. They also didn't seem to dare to speak of 'old times', as Severus would have expected at such a family gathering, but which would have included Hogwarts as a main subject as well, of course.  
  
The tension which had built up during the meal by that behaviour was finally broken when Arthur Weasley suggested to play chess. The adults were all crammed into the few pieces of furniture that could be found in the living room. Severus didn't quite understand why Arthur hadn't enlarged the sofas magically, but they were perhaps of the cheap kind or even the muggle type and wouldn't react to spells. Ginny and Harry were sitting next to him, Remus and Arthur were sharing another sofa opposite to them, Mrs. Weasley and some of her daughters in law were continually emerging from the kitchen or vanishing, occasionally telling the children off who were running up and down the stairs. Some of the Weasley brothers were sitting on the floor (the luxury of sitting on the sofa was clearly reseved for guests today) and playing with some of the children. As a result it was very noisy, quite a contrast to Severus' usually quiet life. He felt a bit uncomfortable, because now he was supposed to contribute to some kind of conversation and couldn't pretend to be busy eating.  
  
Then, Arthur's proposal of a game of chess was greeted enthusiastically by the party sitting on the sofa and some other members of the family. Ron brought his old family chess board and pieces and placed it in front of Severus to play against Arthur, Harry produced his own game and wanted to play with Remus. Fred and Ginny settled on the floor and set up their game in front of the fire place. Some of the children stood by to watch. Suddenly it had become quite silent. Playing chess was obviously a family tradition.  
  
Severus was glad, because when you play chess seriously, nobody expects you to speak much and he was actually looking forward to a silent evening, spent in concentration over a good game of chess. But when he spoke his first command as it is the custom with wizard chess, the figure didn't respond. He sighed, somehow he had foreseen that. Arthur looked embarrassed.  
  
'Well it's an old game, you know, worn out a bit. Maybe they only need a bit of persuasion,' he tried, but stubborn chess pieces were not the reason, you obviously had to have magic in you to direct them.  
  
Well, he could very well play it the muggle way, couldn't he? But there, Severus was very much mistaken, because when he reached out to push the piece to which he had spoken to, the little man suddenly pulled out a small dagger and stuck it into Severus' thumb.  
  
'Ouch', he winced, 'this isn't going to work, Arthur.' By now, everybody near was watching.  
  
'I see.' Judging by the colour of his face, Arthur Weasley was very much embarrassed. 'Hey boys, does anybody of you know how to make a chess game behave when somebody who, uhm, well... when it doesn't accept a player?'  
  
The question was directed at his children, but it was Severus who answered instead. 'You can't, unless you want to destroy it. You can turn it into a muggle game.'  
  
'How', Ron, who had come over from his place on the floor where he had been playing with his brotherGeorge.  
  
'Well, maybe there are several ways, but the only one I know is to cook the pieces in camomile tea for an hour', Severus explained.  
  
'Did you try that?' Ron asked curiously.  
  
'Yes, when I was eight years old. Come to think of it, that must have been the beginning of my career in Potions.' He tried to smile, but didn't feel like it, because the memory wasn't a pleasant one.  
  
'Cool', a tiny girl with red hair who looked a bit like Ginny piped up. 'Mum never lets us do interesting things, but I know that you have to start early when you want to do great things later', she added importantly. She was so small, that she could hardly look over the rim of the sofa behind which she was standing with some of her brothers or sisters or cousins, Severus couldn't tell.  
  
'But it can also be dangerous, you know. You can hurt yourself or other people. It didn't do me any good either. I ended up in the cellar for a week with water and bread once a day.'  
  
The girl gasped and looked at him unbelievingly. 'But that's cruel, to do that to a child!' the girl said indignantly while her companions were nodding in approval.  
  
'Well, not all children are so lucky to be born into a family like yours, you know, with lots of understanding and ... uhm, love', Severus said to the girl.  
  
'You mean your parents didn't love you?'. was the conclusion which followed immediately from the girl.  
  
Feeling embarrassed already, Severus definitely didn't want this conversation to go much further, but couldn't think of a way to end it, as he knew that children could be very persistent and once they were on a track that interested them, not to be stopped easily.  
  
'Hm, well,' he began, 'l think, they did, in their way, but they certainly didn't show it in a way a child would expect from them', he tried.  
  
'So you didn't have lots of fun and Christmas parties like we have?' she went on.  
  
'I guess not', Severus said, but that was not quite true. He did remember having a nice time over Christmas. But that had been after his parents had died when they had gone over to the dark side and Severus had stayed at Hogwarts on all his holidays and was able to study in the library without being harrassed by fellow students. But that, he decided, he couldn't tell the girl.  
  
'Now, Celia, dear. Please stop bothering Severus. He is a guest, and it's not very polite to ask all those personal questions, all right?'. Finally, Molly Weasly had come to the rescue. Indeed, Severus was very thankful. The least he had expected from this night was to tell everybody about his miserable childhood.  
  
But he wasn't relieved yet. The next challenge was about to come when another small voice demanded: 'Is it true that you have lost all your magic?' A little boy with read hair seemed to have appeared out of nowhere and was now standing at Severus' knees. He was holding a children'd book in his small hands and looked very determined, and not a bit intimidated by what wasn't the friendliest look Severus was giving him.  
  
The older wizard decided that it couldn't become any more embarrassing and that it would be ridiculous to be embarrassed by a little child and answered, finally. 'Well, yes.'  
  
But that was obviously not enough for the boy. 'How did that happen?'  
  
'The healers made a mistake at the hospital'.  
  
'Did you sue them for that? But money wouldn't help, I guess, would it?' Now, Severus was a bit at a loss. He clearly had underestimated the child. What would a boy at that age know of sueing and recompensation? 'Well,' the boy went on, 'but you can still read, can't you? Can you read me a story?'  
  
That was certainly more like a little boy, Severus thought, and although he felt very uneasy regarding the boy's request, because he certainly had never done the like before, he said yes. The boy did not hesitate, took the older wizard's hand, pulled him from the sofa and directed him in front of the fireplace where a pile of cushions and, as Severus now realized in sudden horror, 7 more children were waiting for the 'storyteller'.  
  
'By the way, my name is Rupert', the little one informed him. Severus gulped. There was no way out of it now. On the other hand, it couldn't do any harm to read some stories to some nice children, could it?  
  
'Pleased to meet you,' he said in a mock formality and bowed. The other children said their names, too. Before he could begin, the was a bit restlessness between the children and also a bit of giggling.  
  
When he looked up from the book where Rupert, who had obviously been chosen as the speaker of the party, was now indicating the stories they had chosen for this performance, the little boy said 'Don't worry about them. They didn't believe I would dare to ask you, you know. But it wasn't my idea, you see. My grandmother said we should ask you because you have such a nice voice.'  
  
Severus was flabbergasted. So this was Molly's doing. He had been tricked by a grandmother and her grandchildren. He turned to see if he could detect her somewhere in the mass of mostly read haired Weasleys and found that she was standing next to her husband, smiling broadly at him. He only shook his head and gave her what he hoped looked like a disapproving glare, but knew at the same time that she wasn't a woman who would be intimidated easily by that. Not Molly Weasly who was mother and grandmother to such a huge family and had also managed to play a prominent role in the fight against Voldemort. How she had accomplished that (the family part of her life) he had no idea. And now he had ended up reading to her grandchildren, because he had 'such a nice voice'. He couldn't believe that, but stopped wondering because the children had started to argue about which story should be read first, and he had to get started. 


	4. 4 Remus

Disclaimer: see chapter one  
  
4 Remus  
  
When he had got home that night, he remembered that he had been very confused. On the one hand he was glad to have escaped this noisy family whose members seemed to be happy all the time, on the other hand he had also felt a bit jealous. The same feeling he had had when he had been at Hogwarts as a boy. Jealous that others had loving families who were sending letters and parcels. Families you longed to join on holidays. Not that his parents had beaten him. Most of the time their cruelty had simply consisted in ignoring him and showing him their indifference when he was around...  
  
'Hi, Severus', haven't seen you for quite a while. How is it going? Something wrong?'  
  
Severus was roughly pulled away from his sad memories when he heard the werewolf's voice. He was very much aware that he must be looking a bit stupid the way he was standing at the counter holding his tray of lunch items, totally lost in thought. Remus Lupin was standing right in front of him. He wore his usual friendly expression on his still youthful but lined face and when he saw that Severus finally reacted to his attempts to speak to him, he even smiled. The former Potions master wondered why, because the two had never been very close, let alone friends. But Remus was a very friendly person in general, and a sinister looking Severus Snape wasn't going to change that easily.  
  
The Potions master's feelings towards his former colleague were divided for the obvious reason. On the one hand, he didn't mind the werewolf being around. He appreciated his uncomplicated behaviour and his friendly attitude. Come to think of it, Severus enjoyed talking to Remus very much. He was, in fact, one of the few wizards he had contact with, except from Harry and Arthur Weasley and a few of the old members of the Order who were also working at the Ministry. Other wizards in the Ministry seemed to avoid him when he had to leave the registry for a task. Well, he could understand that. The dark part of his life was widely known, especially since he had become 'famous' as a member of the Order of the Phoenix who had so spectacularly helped to overcome the Dark Lord.  
  
On the other hand, every time he had to look into the werewolf's eyes, the memory of this incident from all those years back sprang to his mind vividly, recalling the roaring beast which had nearly killed him. A memory he still had nightmares about on a regular basis. But then, they had something in common apart from the fact that they had both been members of the Order. Remus wasn't exactly what you would call popular either. As a werewolf, he belonged to the less respected part of the wizarding community, to put it politely. The job as a werewolf streetworker he did for the Ministry made him only more suspicious in most wizards' eyes.  
  
'Not too bad. But I would be grateful if you could do me a favour and put a cooling spell on the soup and tea', Severus finally answered Remus' question.  
  
'What?' Lupin looked a bit confused and then embarrassed. After three years he was obviously still not very familiar with the concept of Severus Snape needing help in magical matters.  
  
'Of course. Here you go.' He pulled his wand from his sleeve and murmured a quick spell. 'May I join you for lunch?'  
  
'Yes, sure'.  
  
Remus joined him on a spare table after he had helped himself to some sandwiches and a pumpkin juice. He looked very tired and had dark shades under his eyes.  
  
'You look as if you could do with a coffee, Remus.'  
  
'True. I was up the whole night. But I don't drink coffee or anything remotely intoxicating when the full moon is near. Makes the transformation better bearable. Well, that's what I keep telling myself. Apart from the wolfsbane potion there is not really much you can do to make it easier.'  
  
'I see. What on earth are you doing in this job that keeps you out of bed at night? Maybe we should swap once in a while. Mine is quite, ... well, sleep encouraging.'  
  
'Oh, I don't think you would like what I'm doing, Severus.' Remus smiled weakly. 'I was after a werewolf who was bitten only last month and shows suicidal tendencies. The department also thinks that he might run wild, and we cannot afford another muggle being bitten like last year.'  
  
'I see what you mean. Do they provide you with the wolfsbane at the Ministry?'  
  
'Oh yes, fortunately, they do. For all of us. They give it out on the evening before the transformation when we all meet in the dungeons.'  
  
'All of 'us'? So you transform together, here in the Ministry dungeons?' Severus asked in disbelief.  
  
'Oh, I would have thought you knew that. Yes, in fact, we are obliged to do that. Every werewolf living in London must report to the Ministry on a full moon to be kept safe. It's the same in other densely populated areas. There are some similar dungeons in Birmingham, Bristol, well everywhere where a lot of muggles live and you cannot hide undetected.'  
  
'And if you live in the countryside. Would it be different then?' Severus asked, now a bit interested. Although he had known Remus for a long time and they met frequently in the Ministry he had never really known what kind of life he was forced to live because of his condition and what he actually did during a full moon. Well, if he was being honest, he would normally have avoided thinking of Remus when a full moon was approaching as he would see him or what would be his animal form anyway during his promptly occuring nightmares at that time of the month.  
  
'Yes. If you are able to proof that you have a kind of strong cell in your house and that you will stay there safely under the influence of the wolfsbane, or even better, guarded by a trusted member of family, they might allow you to stay at your own place. But that doesn't happen very often. There are a few I know of, but in general, the Ministry officials don't believe in beeing too soft on werewolves. If I have to stay away for some reason, or cannot be sure to be back in time, I sometimes take the wolfsbane in advance. But that would be an exception. As I said, most of us from around London meet here. It's not that bad, you know. Kind of a friendly meeting. Especially for me. That way I am able to see most of my 'clients'. It's very peaceful, really. Most of the time we sleep anyway, after the howling, of course. It wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't for the excruxiating pain of the transformation itself . '  
  
'Howling? You mean, you will all be sitting there to howl at the moon, like real wolves?' Severus asked disbelievingly.  
  
Remus had only given this detailed description of what occurred regularly every month in the Ministry's werewolf dungeons to put Severus' mind at ease. Although he knew that the subject was by no means one of the former Potions master's favourites, he would have thought that if he gave him a bit of an insight he would lose a bit of his fears. In many cases knowledge turns out to be an effective weapon against fear. As a former Defense teacher, Remus knew about that. But the very picture of a pack of werewolves in the Ministry dungeons howling at the moon seemed to have unsettled Severus even more.  
  
'Why, yes. What's wrong about that?'  
  
'Well, I would have thought that under the influence of the wolfsbane, you keep your will, you are master of your doings, so to speak. But if you are actually howling at the moon, it's like . well . like you would be real wolves, animals, I mean .' he didn't know how to go on.  
  
'No no, Severus. There you are misunderstanding something. It's true, there is a strong desire to howl, even under the wolfsbane, but if we wished, we could refrain from that. But you also have to understand, Severus, that the howling is a kind of bonding, makes you feel that you belong to a group, makes you feel less lonely. Most of the werewolves have no family or have lost them under tragic circumstances. We are not wanted by most of the society, we are loners. And when we howl together, it's a bit like . family. Do you understand that?'  
  
'I certainly got your point, Remus, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to feel easy about the fact, that every full moon there will be all these werewolves howling in the dungeons. Really.'  
  
'Yes. What I simply wanted to convey was that it's probably the safest thing that way. If we are all gathered in the dungeons, I mean', Remus stated in his attempt to convince Severus.  
  
'If you say so.'  
  
'And it's not that you will be at the Ministry at that time, or are you working over hours?'  
  
'Merlin, no', Severus snorted, 'I prefer to sleep in my bed at home at night. That's more comfortable than the desk. Anyway, the next full moon will be at Halloween, won't it? I have got an invitation to a party at the house where I've got my flat.'  
  
'A Halloween party? With muggles? You are not serious, are you? Now, that's certainly something to look forward to.' Now it was Remus who was wearing a look of amused disbelief.  
  
'You are not being sarcastic, Remus Lupin, are you? I thought, that was rather my field of expertise. Now, I ask you, why shouldn't I? If I am living with them, I can as well join them at a party.' He felt rather smug, now that he had accomplished the task of astonishing Remus, which wasn't always easy.  
  
'No, sorry, of course not. But I would have thought . have you ever . I mean .'  
  
'What?' Severus demanded sharply.  
  
'You are well aware that Halloween for muggles has to do with lots of, well, their idea of ghosts and all sorts of things and . even .. wizardry?' Remus tried.  
  
'Oh I know what you mean. Well, at this festivity, people even dress in costumes. And, well, I have to admit that it was rather a bit foolish of me, but I promised to dress as a wizard.'  
  
At that statement Remus' mouth dropped open. After a while of what looked like gathering thoughts the werewolf asked in disbelief 'You are not telling me that you will grab your old Hogwarts robes and turn up at a muggle party in full attire, are you?'  
  
'Yes, I do.'  
  
'Then you must be either out of your mind or unspeakably brave.' Remus was shaking his head.  
  
'Why. It's not illegal, is it?. I mean, they don't know that I am ... uhm ... a wizard.'  
  
'It's not that, Severus. It's probably not my business, but don't you think, you will feel, uhm, a bit uncomfortable?' Remus tried again.  
  
'Well, as you said correctly, that's indeed not your business. You'll have your party and I'll have mine. If you wish, I can tell you about it later. But for now, I think I have an appointment with Harry. See you.' Saying this, he stood up leaving the werewolf staring after him. 


	5. 5 Harry

Disclaimer: Snape, Remus Harry and the other character are still not mine and will never be. I'm only borrowing them from J.K: Rowling for the fun of writing fanfiction. There will certainly no money be made by my feeble attempts at literature.  
  
5 Harry  
  
Remus was right, of course. Severus had been out of his mind when he had told his neighbour's son that he would turn up in wizard's robes and he dreaded that party, but there was no way out of it now. Anyway, he there was no time to ponder on his thoughts any further as he had reached Harry's office in the meantime.  
  
It wasn't the first time that Severus visited Harry in his office, although it didn't happen very often. Every time he came to see his former student to discuss a matter the fomer Potions professor would know about - mostly about potions or about members of death eater families or whatever Harry had to deal with - he observed that the room had become smaller. Due to an overload of files, books and parchments who were piled in every free space around the auror's desk, there was hardly any room to work, let alone have a visitor take a seat.  
  
'Good afternoon, Harry', Severus greeted him. They had been on first name terms since the days of the Dark Lord's downfall.  
  
'Oh, hi Severus', Harry answered even less formal, 'have a seat, if you can find one'.  
  
After a questioning and slightly disapproving look Severus cleared a chair which had less paperwork piled on it than the other three which could be seen in the room and put the files on the floor, then he sat down.  
  
Harry interpreted Severus' look correctly. 'Not as accurate as down at the registry, I suppose. Well, as you can see, my work mainly consists of paperwork. If I had known that before, I would probably have picked another job,' he said jokingly.  
  
'Well, as long as you are still able to find what you are looking for I cannot find much fault in your system,' Severus lied politely, as he had always been irritated by people who worked in a surrounding which looked more like chaos than anything else.  
  
'Well, most of the time,' Harry was grinning, 'and if not, I still have got the house elves. And you can sort the stuff until you find the right file, can't you.' With that, he flicked his wand which was lying on his desk and a huge stack of files started sorting itself and was swaying rather dangerously in the process.  
  
Severus flinched a little. Seeing people doing magic in front of him that openly was still hurting him, although he had worked hard the last three years to convince himself that you didn't really need magic for everyday tasks.  
  
Harry must have anticipated that because he quickly changed the subject. 'Would you like some tea?' He asked and took a red coloured file from one of the smaller stacks on his desk  
  
'Yes, please.'  
  
Harry put the file down, got up from his desk and in doing so pushed the said file a little bit in Severus' direction. Just far enough that the older wizard could read the name on it which stood out in bold black letters: 'Snape, Severus, Death Eater'. The last two word were crossed out, as well as the 'Professor of Potions, Hogwarts'. In a smaller scribbling there could also be read 'Order of the Phoenix' and, even smaller, 'Order of Merlin, first class'. These informations weren't crossed out. The last line, now again written in typed big letters were 'Registered Squib'.  
  
Severus felt as if somebody had just slapped his whole life into his face. Why Harry had left the former Potions master's personal file on his desk deliberately for him to read he had no clue, but it was as well. He would have a look while Harry was busy with his 'tea preparations' in a small adjointed room.  
  
He opened the file with mixed feelings. Most of the things in there he should know as it was his very own life, wasn't it? It began with the report on his arrest, he shuddered as this memory was closely connected with that of the months he had spent in Azkaban before Dumbledore had given testimony in favour of him in court. Then there were reports on him from his career as a teacher at Hogwarts. Parents' complaints, Umbridge's report and some others whose names didn't mean anything to him. He wouldn't be much surprised if he had been spied on by Fudge's people during his time at Hogwarts. He hadn't been the only spy during that time. He quickly overturned the pages which gave a detailed report on the last battle against the Dark Lord. He didn't want to recall the memory of Dumbledore dying in front of his beloved school. It was living on in his mind quite vividly anyway.  
  
There were even photos. One showed him and the other members of the Order after the ceremony when they had received the Order of Merlin. His picture self who had his arms crossed and was trying to look indifferent quickly looked away when he realized that the real Severus was watching him. He remembered that he had been quite touched at that moment, even happy. But that had been before they had taken him to St. Mungo's.  
  
The relevant documents followed closely. He wasn't quite sure anymore if he really would like to know, but then he decided that he simply had to and turned the page. There wasn't much, actually. Only two letters. One was from Fudge. So the Minister had thought Severus' case so important that he had taken it upon himself to deal with it. Severus didn't know if he should be flattered by that. In the letter the Minister asked the healers of St. Mungo's if it was possible to remove a magic tatoo which had been bound with dark magic. The answer had been that they would probably be able to do it but that there would be a risk. A risk to harm the person who had the tatoo on him ... 'and because we would be forced to interfere with the person's magic there would be a high risk to damage his magical capabiblity'.  
  
Severus gulped but read on to find anything about a reaction from the Ministry's side, but he couldn't find any. That letter from St. Mungo's had been the last document in his file. Naturally, his hospital file would be in St. Mungo's. But still, now he knew, that they had known about the risk and hadn't told him. Scandalous, really. He felt anger slowly boiling up inside him, but the confirmation of what he had already guessed didn't really help him, know, after three years. It would certainly not help in any way to get his magic back. He sighed and wanted to close his file when he saw that there was something written on the back of the letter from the hospital. He turned the page and read in what was the Minister's own handwriting: 'We have to take that risk. Fudge'.  
  
Furious, he snapped the file shut and slammed it onto Harry's desk vigorously, nearly causing the auror, who had been standing close for quite a while, to drop the tea tray he was holding.  
  
'What did you want to achieve, giving me that to read? Huh? This is only adding up to my misery. I had a suspicion yes, that's true, but I had been hoping that it had been an accident. Now you've shattered my last hope of the Ministry being a decent institution', he ranted.  
  
'There now, Severus, don't be unfair. Not everybody in the Ministry is ...' Harry tried, looking very embarrassed.  
  
'No, there you are right. Most people who work here are intelligent and competent and probably willing to serve the wizarding community. But, unfortunately, the most incompetent, selfish and paranoid idiot of a wizard I've ever met is the head of this noble institution. He has ignored danger when it was already kicking his shin and then went looking for it in the most impossible places, ignoring the fact that he himself would be the greatest danger of all ... '  
  
'Severus, please', Harry who had finally put the tea tray down on his desk, managed to cut into Severus' word flow. 'Would you keep your voice down, please. You may not be aware of it, but this floor with all the aurors' offices is kind of a security zone. I don't want to give my colleagues any reason to storm in, their wands at the ready.'  
  
'Why? Are you afraid they would question your working methods?' the older wizard sneered and waved his hand to indicate the stacks of files. He had gone over to his much practised method to change from anger to sarcasm, which sometimes helped to regain his composure.  
  
'No. Their offices look similar to mine. We're overloaded with paperwork.'  
  
Before Harry could go into more detail the door opened indeed. But instead of some aurors ready to battle with an unknown threat, there was only one auror peeking around the door cautiously.  
  
'You've got a visitor, Harry? Good afternoon, Professor Snape. I don't want to disturb but I was wondering if you had the muggle obliviation files from last month?' Neville Longbottom asked. He was the only one of the former members of the Order who didn't call him by his first name and, given their shared past, Severus couldn't blame him.  
  
'No idea, Neville. Go, have a look yourself. They're probably in the stack by the fireplace. No, not that one, the other, the one which has collapsed against the wall.'  
  
Severus, now somewhat distracted from his anger, found this highly comical. Although, to be honest, it was also a bit sad. The Ministry was an institution most witches annd wizards generally believed and trusted in, and this were there working methods. Even muggles did organize better. And these people had magic at their hands.  
  
His musings were suddenly disturbed when Neville caused the said stack to collapse.  
  
'Oh, ... sorry, I am really sorry, Harry.' Neville blushed and looked very embarrassed. 'I'll sort that for you ...'  
  
Although Neville wasn't the short plumb boy of his schooltime anymore, his actions stil seemed clumsy at times. And now was such a time.  
  
'No. No, Neville. It's ok. I had to sort that lot anyway. Never mind. I think the file you are looking for is right here on my desk. My fault. Really.'  
  
Harry handed his fellow auror a blue file. Neville took it and made that he got out of Harry's office before the other wizard could change his mind about the sorting.  
  
'Now. Please, Severus, don't comment. Not right now, ok? I know, it's chaotic in here.'  
  
'I wasn't going to comment. Honestly. I was just wondering if I could get another cup of tea. Just in case this is going to last a bit longer, you know. Not that I've got particularly much to do, but ...' Severus tried to bring Harry back to their line of conversation. Harry did a refilling spell on Severus' and his own cup, before he answered.  
  
'Mhm. Yes. Right. How to begin... You have seen yourself, what we are actually doing, or better, not doing here in our offices. We don't even have time to get out to check on suspicious things we come across. Every time we want to do that, we have to fill in an application form. The head of our department is always afraid we will cause costs if we are outside on the street, you know. Percy Weasley really is a pain in the ... Well, the point is that we, meaning a small group of aurors, including Neville, Ginny and me, have thought that it would be a good thing to have somebody outside the department to do some small observation jobs for us. We can't pay anything and it would be kind of ... well, not illegal, but not strictly to the rules, you see.' Harry paused, looking speculative at Severus whose look had darkened while the younger wizard had given his explanation.  
  
'And that, I suppose, that is where I come in?' Harry's former professor was now wearing an expression Harry knew only to well from former times at school. Severus was looking dangerously close to losing his composure again. 'What a brilliant idea,' he sneered, 'why not ask the former spy who is used to that kind of job. He is bored, isn't he? So we will probably even do him some good! Do you think it was fun, the spying, risking my life every day, pretending to be someone else and at the same time trying to teach you important things at school?' He was yelling now. Harry didn't dare to answer.  
  
'I know very well that it had been my own decision, because then I was thinking I could pay something back, part of my guilt, which wasn't possible, of course. I want my peace now, do you understand? And I don't want other people making decisions for me, alright? And what is more, just in case you've forgotten: I am a squib! A fine spy I would make, without magic. Have you thought of that?' He was standing in front of Harry's desk now, fuming with rage.  
  
'Yes Severus, I see I've made a mistake. Sorry. I should've been more subtle. I just thought ... '  
  
'Ah, yes. Subtlety has never been a distinct trait of yours. Has it?' The former Potions master was still furious but somehow his anger was leaving him, as he realized that he was behaving quite ridiculous. A similar feeling he had often had when he had have one of his outbursts in Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore had been an expert in triggering these outbursts in Severus. After that Severus had always been quite ashamed, but they had been able to talk together sensibly. So Severus had always thought that Dumbledore had done it on purpose. As he had had the talent to trick other people to make them do what he wanted them to in most cases.  
  
'Well', Severus added, now calmer, 'maybe I've been unjust, but it's like ... you know, I want to be asked before you make a plan and include me in it. Sorry for the yelling, I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was Neville's presence. Always makes me nervous. I am surprised that he talks to me at all.'  
  
'Neville is the forgiving type. A real friend, you know. I would've never thought that we would build up such a close friendship. I'd have always thought, that that kind of relationship was reserverd for Ron, but as he isn't working for the Ministry and we don't see each other very often, he with his big family and all his kids ... Maybe I should have taken his kind of job. He is always out and about, organizing Quidditch games,' Harry was trailing off the subject.  
  
'Just out of curiosity: What would my job be?' Severus cut in.  
  
'Yes, right,' Harry continued on his former topic. 'You see, it would only be observing certain people and reporting back to me about their doings. With whom they meet and where. If possible, also about what they talk. You would certainly not be obliged to get in direct contact with them, let alone participate in their actions as a spy.'  
  
'I see.'  
  
This didn't sound very difficult. By now, Severus felt a bit stupid that he had allowed himself that childish outburst before Harry had even had a chance to explain his plans. His observational skill had always been something he was proud of. And as such it had very often helped to save his life. In his current situation it could prove to be a welcome distraction. And if he could help to provide the aurors with important information for their work to keep the wizarding world in order, all the better.  
  
'Well, actually, I think I could do that. And if it's only to keep my mind busy with something more than those boring files in the registry. What kind of people are those I would have to spy on?'  
  
'Some muggles, and, unfortunately also some wizards. I can give you the names, descriptions and even some addresses. We think, that there is a group out there, plotting something. If it's against the muggles or wizards we don't know, but it would certainly put the wizarding world at risk.'  
  
'Well, if it turns out to be really that big a threat, the risk I am seeing here is to just send a single wizard, on top of that one void of magic, for surveillance.'  
  
'Oh, I forgot to tell you another thing. We thought, you might like to work as a team with Remus. It was his idea, anyway. You, see, he has got quite a lot of free time in his job and most of the time he is out of the Ministry. An ideal combination.'  
  
'Ah yes. I should have known that this was a Gryffindor plot,' the older wizard commented dryly. But he didn't mind. Remus was actually the only one of his acquaintances he could imagine working with as a team on a long term basis. 'But don't worry. I'll do it anyway. Anything is better than getting crazy or dying of boredom down in the registry basement.' Maybe this will turn out to be just what I need, he thought. Something sensible to do, but not too dangerous.  
  
'All right then.' Harry beamed, looking quite relieved about the fact that he had accomplished the difficult task to convince the irritable Slytherin to work with them. 'That's settled. Shall we say that we'll meet in three days, together with Remus, to talk things over. I think he should have recovered from the full moon by then. But I can provide you with a list of the persons in question before that. Let's say the day after tomorrow after lunch. Or would that be inconvenient for you?'  
  
'No, no. That'll be fine. See you then.' Severus got up to leave.  
  
'Oh wait. Just one thing,' Harry hold him back. It's rather a bit personal. If you don't mind .'  
  
'Ah, there is a drawback. What is it? Do I have to dress in an embarrasing disguise for the task?' Severus asked mockingly.  
  
'No. It's about Remus,' Harry explained carefully. 'We, I mean, a lot of people around him think that he is not looking after himself properly. You know what I mean. He is probably not eating enough, I don't know. Have you noticed how painfully thin he has become?'  
  
'Sure. What did you expect? He is a werewolf. Lack of appetite is one of the common symptoms of his condition. You know the old saying 'the moon eats the werewolf'. As far as I recall it, he has always been very thin,' Severus stated noncommitantly.  
  
'Yes, I know. But I thought that maybe you could talk to him, or, well I don't know.' Harry made a helpless gesture and looked questioningly at the older wizard.  
  
'Let me tell you what, Harry Potter,' Severus said sharply. 'You may have persuaded me to do that job for you and the other aurors. I will be doing this to prevent me from freaking out down there in the basement and perhaps to do something useful again for the wizarding society. But don't expect me to do any kind of 'wolfsitting' on top of that. Remus Lupin is old enough to look after himself. Of all people why should I be the one to have any particular influence on him, anyway?' he asked. 'I can't just pour some cream in his bowl from time to time to fatten him up, can I ?'  
  
'Yes. Sorry, you're probably right. I just thought . . Just forget about it. It'll be fine if the two of you get along with each other and that some useful information will come out of it.'  
  
'I guess so. See you in two days then.' Severus nodded curtly and strode out of Harry's office.  
  
The young auror was right, though. As far as Severus could judge, Remus was certainly underweight. But what could he do about that? He snorted. Maybe he should invite the werewolf for dinner. Since he had been living in his muggle flat he had been doing a lot of cooking. Always for himself alone, of course. He had never been the social type. The idea to invite some of his wizard acquaintances or even the muggles in his house had simply never occurred to him. But in general, it wasn't a bad idea. Yes, why not. He made a mental note to ask Remus. 


	6. 6 Argus

Disclaimer: I'm not so lucky to own the characters I'm writing about, only borrowed them and hope J.K. Rowling doesn't mind too much.  
  
---------  
  
6 Argus  
  
The next day passed quite uneventful. He didn't meet Remus at lunchtime. Severus thought that it was likely that the werewolf had a day off or was on sick leave due to the approaching full moon.  
  
He had just left the canteen and was heading for his 'office' when he heard a very familiar voice behind him in the corridor.  
  
'Everyday the same mess. Worse than students. Damn, as if I hadn't anything better to do ... '  
  
Severus stopped and turned towards the disgruntled speaker.  
  
'Argus. How are you. Always busy?' Quite a stupid thing to say to a caretaker whose task was to clean up behind careless wizards, Severus thought, but he couldn't think of anything else at the moment.  
  
'As you can see, Professor. Any idea how to clean a conference room from dragon bogeys in less than an hour?'  
  
'Maybe. But only if you refrain from calling me by this title which I have lost quite some time ago,' the taller wizard complained while they were walking side by side in direction of Argus Filch's office which was also situated in the basement, near the registry. 'Dragons, in here?' he enquired curiously.  
  
'Yes. Only a baby dragon, but bad enough. They confiscated it from somebody who brought it in the country illegally from Brazil. As the dungeons are being prepared for the werewolves today, there was no room and they put it in the conference room. The animal had a cold and was very upset. So it soiled everything in there. I really have no clue how to remove all the mess.'  
  
'Why don't you tell the houselves to use a scorching spell?' the former Potions master suggested.  
  
'No, no. That would leave soot stains. Not that there aren't enough from the bloody dragon already. It's supposed to be a conference room and as far as I know, the Minister plans to project pictures on the walls. I believe you need white walls for that purpose.'  
  
'Project pictures? Like muggles? How interesting. Well, they're wizards. Therefore I would expect them to be able to conjure pictures on black walls. Don't you agree? Anyway, the dragon wasn't your fault. The aurors put it in there. So I wouldn't worry.' Severus was a bit annoyed, that the former Hogwarts caretaker bothered him with his problem, as he couldn't do anything about it. In former times he would have been able to provide him at least with a suitable cleaning potion to scrub the dirt away, as he had done very often at Hogwarts, but nowadays...  
  
'Tell them. Tell them, it's not your fault. That you are not willing to work overtime to clean that up, in your age ... you know, something like that,' Severus suggested. By now they had reached Filch's office which was adjacent to his living quarters.  
  
'Oh yes. Very clever. You could possibly say that to them. But I? I am only the caretaker, who isn't taken seriously,' Argus said indignantly.  
  
'And I am only the registrar. I'll tell you something, Argus. If you don't begin defending yourself against those ... those arrogant wizards ... than they will never take you seriously.'  
  
'And there you are the expert, aren't you? You have only been a squib for three years, haven't you? My experience is somewhat longer and from that I can only tell you that it doesn't work like that.'  
  
They had stopped in front of Filch's office door.  
  
'Care for a tea?' the caretaker suddenly asked.  
  
'Why, yes. Thank you. But weren't you planning on cleaning the conference room? I thought you had less than an hour ...' Severus was quite irritated about the sudden change of behaviour.  
  
'Hm. Don't care.' Argus shrugged his shoulders. 'Maybe you are right. I have often thought about that. Maybe I should give them a bit of a shock from time to time. After all, am only a squib. How am I supposed to clean that in such a short stretch of time, huh?' he grinned maliciously.  
  
'That's the spirit, Argus. But don't tell them it was me who gave you the idea.' Severus tried to give the caretaker a intimidating look, but failed. Argus had never been one to be intimidated by him.  
  
'I don't see a problem by that. What do you think they could threaten you with? Work?' Argus snorted amused.  
  
Severus shook his head and followed the caretaker into his rooms. Damn, he had forgotten that Argus could be nearly as sarcastic as himself. As far as Severus recalled, the older squib had always been like that. Only that not many people had noticed that trait in the bitter man. Severus had, though. Right from the beginning when they had met in his first year at Hogwarts. And the former Potions master was well aware that he had started to copy the caretaker's characteristic behaviour when he was a student. Well, in the run of years he had refined it a bit.  
  
'A new familiar?' Severus commented on a fat multicoloured cat who had planted itself in front of him, staring inquisitively.  
  
'Yes. That's Ruffles.'  
  
It was widely known that Argus had a soft spot for cats. On Severus pets had the opposite effect, as he couldn't find anything pleasant in having one around at home. He had never had one as a child and later on had never felt the need. And Ruffle's clearly wouldn't be any help to change the former Potions masters attitude. To the contrary, his staring made Severus nervous. He tried to stare back, but it seemed that his much practised stare didn't have the usual intimidating effect which it normally had (at least on students).  
  
'Is it a Kneazle?' he enquired.  
  
'Oh no. I would never allow a magical pet to live in my quarters. I wouldn't have any control over it.'  
  
Severus wondered how much control Argus had over Ruffles, as the big cat sat in the most comfortable armchair of the whole room, while Argus was perching on one of the armrests. From time to time the animal averted his stare from Severus to give his master a look which seemed to say 'Did you invite him here?'  
  
Severus felt a bit uncomfortable, now that there was no conversation going on and with the staring feline opposite him. He sipped his tea, thinking about how to leave in a polite way, when Argus started the dialogue anew.  
  
'By the way, I got a letter from Minerva. She seems to have settled down at least.'  
  
'Really? That's good to hear. What does she write?' Severus enquired.  
  
'About her brother she's looking after. Seems to be a nice place over there in Ireland where they live. She also asks about you.'  
  
'Yes. That reminds me. I haven't answered her last letter. I didn't really know what to write. Life isn't terribly exciting here.' Severus sighed.  
  
'Oh, just see for yourself. I've got the letter here somewhere. Here you go.' Argus handed him a letter which bore unmistakably Minerva McGonagall's handwriting.  
  
Yes. Argus was right, Severus thought while reading. She finally seemed to have settled down after spending months in a cottage in Hogsmeade and than in London, tortured by nightmares. Well she was certainly not the only one of the people present at the Dark Lord's downfall who was now visited by the terrifying pictures at night which brought back the memories of that day. But she had been the one in whose arms Albus Dumbledore had died.  
  
'She still feels guilty about the fact that she wasn't able to help him, although she doesn't write it explicitely,' Severus commented. 'But there was no way to change what was going to happen. Without Albus, we all would have died, and many more.'  
  
'You know, I have still got dreams about the castle, with everything in ruins', Argus suddenly said.  
  
'Yes, we all have our personal memories,' Severus added and thought for himself, ''and on top of that some have nightmares about a certain werewolf at the full moon''. He was wondering if he would be able to distract his mind enough with the Halloween party to sleep through tonight, but he doubted it. This thought finally brought him back from the sad memories of Albus' and Hogwarts' end to reality.  
  
'I have a party to attend tonight, and quite some preparations to make. So, if you will excuse me. I really have to go now. Anyway, it'll be better if we don't become to miserable about the past, Argus. As for the school, I know that it was a kind of home for most of us, but to tell the truth, I hadn't planned to teach there afterwards anyway. From what I know now, I even doubt that the Ministry would have allowed me to stay there as a teacher without Albus' support. And what about you? I don't recall you beeing too fond of all the hassle with the students either.'  
  
'Yes, too true. But I am still trying to find out who's worse: students or Ministry workers. I haven't made my mind up yet, but I think the students were better predictable ... and ... it was a good place, wasn't it?' Argus objected.  
  
'Yes. A good place.' Severus said while he was on his way to the door already.  
  
--------  
  
He went to the registry only to decide after a few minutes that he would leave to go home. Apart from having nothing to do there, the salad he had promised to provide for the party would require some preparations. So he informed the house elves of his plans, hung his working robe on the peg near the door, grabbed his muggle coat and left his office.  
  
When he rounded the corner to the corridor which was leading to the staircase to the first floor, he suddenly came face to face with Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic.  
  
'Oh, how nice to meet you, Snape. We haven't seen each other for quite a while. How are you doing?' The Minister laughed nervously.  
  
'Fine. Thanks,' Severus answered curtly. When he had first recognized Fudge he had only been midly irritated, but now he felt anger building up inside him. Anger which would probably be difficult to control if he kept conversing with the Minister, so he thought about a way to get as quickly away as possible. But Fudge had other ideas.  
  
'Oh. While you are here, I can as well ask you. The expert for potions, haha!' The head of the magical community seemed to get even more nervous. Swet was building up on his forehead. 'We have a room down here. It's supposed to be used as a conference room,' he went on importantly. 'It's completely soiled. A dragon was kept in there. Very thoughtless of these aurors. Anyway, as Filch doesn't seem to be competent for a simple task as cleaning it, what would you suggest?'  
  
'Me? Pardon me, but I believe I am only the registrar here. Cleaning wouldn't be any of my chores in this institution. If you should be asking for a potion to solve the problem I will have to disappoint you, Minister. It has been three years now since I have brewed one. Just in case you should have forgotten, I am not able ... '  
  
'Yes, yes. I know that,' Fudge cut in impatiently. 'I was just wondering, because at Hogwarts there must have been an awful lot of mess and dirt with all the children. Surely you would have known some remedies... Dear me. Now I really am in trouble. I need a completely white wall for a presentation. What am I going to do? Take the risk of making a fool of myself and the whole Ministry if I try to project on a black wall?'  
  
Severus had crossed his arms to prevent his hands from balling into fists, but otherwise had been able to keep his composure. He had even managed to bear his trademark indifferent expression.  
  
'Indeed. As far as I recall it, dragons have been illegal to keep for some years already, especially at a school. So we most certainly never had one at Hogwarts. I think you will have to take that risk. Speaking of risks, I was always under the impression that you liked 'taking risks', didn't you? If not for yourself, then for others. Maybe it's about time to risk something in connection with your own person.'  
  
By now, Severus was staring hard into Fudge's eyes and had to fight the urge to bend down on the wizard who was at least two heads smaller than him. But the staring was about all the Minister was able to bear. What hadn't impressed the caretaker's cat, was menacing enough to leave the Minister sweating and blinking nervously.  
  
'What are you talking about? What risks?' the intimidated wizard asked. He was bearing an expression of fear on his face that told Severus that he was expecting an attack of some sort any minute.  
  
'Good bye, Minister.'  
  
Severus turned on his heels and left Fudge standing in the corridor with a bewildered expression. It was just as well that he hadn't understood the quotation. It wouldn't do any good to prompt the man further. The fact that he had been able to intimidate the Minster gave Severus some satisfaction although he was seriously beginning to doubt the man's intellect. The wizard was in posession of a wand and Severus was only a squib and as such almost defenseless. A flick of the Minister's wand would have been enough to pin the former Potion's master to the wall. Accompanied by these thoughts Severus headed to the underground station which was situated near the Ministry.  
  
-------------------------------- Author's Notes:  
  
Wow; I got reviews! They really make my day. Chocolate muffins for all, there you go. Thank you so much :-)  
  
I hope it's not too boring without much action in the first chapters, but all these characters keep coming out of nowhere while I am thinking about the story, and somehow they all want to be included.  
  
As for zippy zany's suggestion to have Snape venture into the world of bio- chemistry or the like ... brilliant idea, as it would be very close to potions, and I have no doubt that Severus would be competent to do so, but unfortunately, my knowlegde about that subject is very limited, so I wasn't thinking about it when I started the story. Anyway, I was more interested in the relationship between Lupin and Snape. If anybody is interested in a really good Severus/Remus non-romance which deals with potions and the search for a cure for lycanthropy, please read shadowycat's 'Bound by the Moon' and the sequel 'Shadow of the Moon'.  
  
As for my English, as I said on my profile page: it's not my native language, so you should be prepared for awkward sentences or vocabulary now and then. I wouldn't mind a beta-reader, if anybody volunteers... I must admit that I use fanfiction to improve my English (shame on me), at least that's what I keep telling myself as an excuse for spending hours in front of the computer... but I cannot stop anymore, it's too addictive.  
  
The Halloween party will be next (not much action either I'm afraid). 


	7. 7 Halloween

7 Halloween  
  
On the way from the underground station to his flat Severus stopped at his usual supermarket to buy ingredients for the salad. He didn't care much about what he put into his trolley as long as it were different kinds of vegetables. His mind was too preoccupied with the oncoming party. Anyway, when he cooked for himself, the ingredients didn't matter that much. It was the process of preparing and chopping everything which interested him most. The rest was only a question of the right balance between oil, vinegar and spices which he didn't find exceptionally difficult to achieve.  
  
Severus found that the cutting of vegetables and fruit for a meal was very similar to the preparing of potions ingredients. That was, in fact, the reason why he enjoyed working in the kitchen. He didn't know if it was a helpful thing for his state of mind to be reminded of potions while cooking, but he didn't care. When he was cutting carrots, peppers and the like into tiny egal pieces he could forget about the world around him. The brewing of simple potions used to have the same calming effect on him. It would have been different with the more complex, challenging potions, of course. In that case, any mind wandering could have turned out to be fatal.  
  
He had been cutting away swiftly for quite a while, producing nice little heaps of different coloured vegetable pieces, all in the same size. To be able to move freely, he had rolled up his shirt sleeves, displaying the deep ugly scar on his left forearm where the tatoo had once been. He was quite absorbed in his doings and was just dealing with some tricky mushrooms who seemed to refuse to submit to his cutting pattern when the doorbell rang. He started violently and cut into his thumb.  
  
He swore and stood confused for a moment, trying to decide what to do. When the bell rang again, he put his thumb into his mouth and went for the door. When he opened it, he found a young blonde woman who had her hair done into a ponytail, standing in front of him.  
  
'Mr. Snape?' she enquired politely.  
  
He took his thumb out of his mouth and fumbled with his other hand in his trouser pocket for a handkerchief or something else to wrap around his damaged finger.  
  
'Yes. That would be me. Excuse me. As you can see, I've had a little accident in the kitchen. I have to get a plaster.' Even if he had wanted to, he wouldn't have been able to keep the annoyance out of his voice.  
  
'Oh, let me fix that', she offered, and without warning, took out her wand from her sleeve, pointed it on Severus' thumb and mumbled a healing spell.  
  
'Are you mad?' He grabbed her by her arm and pulled her inside. 'If somebody heard you!' Severus scolded the witch and closed the door behind them.  
  
She blushed. 'Oh. Sorry, how thoughtless of me. But it's okay now, your finger, isn't it?' she enquired timidly.  
  
'Yes. Indeed. That was quite helpful. I'm about to make a salad, you know. As it is for a party, it wouldn't be wise to add my blood as an extra ingredient, would it?'  
  
'No, certainly not.' She laughed a bit nervously. 'Oh. I haven't introduced myself. Lorna Mullins. Ministry of Magic. I'm a social worker of the Squib department.'  
  
'Who would have guessed,' Severus commented drily and sighed. Up to now, unexpected wizards on his doorstep with bad timing had almost always been Ministry social workers.  
  
'Well. I don't want to keep you from your work long. It's just our ... uhm ... routine visit. To make sure you're comfortable, you see,' she tried to explain her appearance.  
  
'I know. I've had a lot of experience with these visits. Well, as you can see, I am still alive, although there was the small chance that I'd kill myself with the kichen knife because you startled me when you rang the bell.' He felt that it would be in order to show her some of his sarcasm, as he didn't think it wise to critizise her directly. These visits had always been an annoyance, as they reminded him of the fact that he was constantly under observance. 'You might also want to know that I don't harass the muggles in this house. To the contrary, I'm always polite towards them, and' he added, now a bit triumphantly, 'I even mix with them. This party tonight, it will be a muggle Halloween party.'  
  
Severus could tell from her expression that she was clearly impressed by this information. It also showed him that she must be quite new in the business. The other social workers had not only been older, but had never showed much emotional response.  
  
'Really?. That's great.'  
  
There was an akward silence for a moment. As she obviously didn't know how to go on, Severus started the line of conversation anew.  
  
'Now, that you are here you can as well do me a favour. Have you got a few minutes?'  
  
'Yes, sure.' She seemed glad, that he had said something. 'What would that be?'  
  
'Would you mind to taste my salad? It's not quite finished, but the dressing is. I have only got to mix everything. It would need to settle a bit, but that won't change the general taste.'  
  
'Yes. I'd be glad to help you with that.'  
  
He led her into the kitchen where she took a seat. After mixing the ingredients with the dressing thoroughly, Severus passed her a small bowl with a specimen of his work.  
  
She tried it and her face lit. 'Hm. Delicious. Not that I know much about cooking, but that really tastes nice. The muggles are lucky that you provide this for their party.'  
  
'Why, thanks. You have saved the evening for me. ...Uhm ... I don't want to throw you out, but ... I'll have to get changed now and ...'  
  
'Oh. I was finished anyway.'  
  
Severus led her back to the door.  
  
'Thanks for the salad. And ... have a nice party. Bye.'  
  
'Yes. Bye.'  
  
In comparison to other visits of that kind, this had passed quite easy. He closed the door thoughtfully, wondering what she would write down into her report. Well, if it helped to improve the picture they had of him at the Ministry, he didn't mind.  
  
-----------  
  
An hour later, he stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom, staring at his reflection. He usually only had a quick look into the bathroom mirror to check if he had shaved properly, but never used the full size mirror which was on the inside of his wardrobe. There he was, looking as if he was about to go to his next Potions class and not to a stupid muggle party, using his elegant robes for a silly costume. Well, he knew, that he was beeing unfair. The muggles didn't know. They had just meant well to invite him. He could have gone in his usual muggle clothes. It was solely his fault that he was now feeling like a student about to go to his first Hogwarts ball with dress robes, horrified of the prospect of having to dance.  
  
'Get a grip on yourself, Severus Snape,' he said to himself aloud. It's only a party with friendly muggles. The only thing they will expect of you is a bit of conversation and you even have a nice tasting salad, he thought.  
  
'And you were the wizard who had faced the Dark Lord and your own death several times?' he sneered at his miserable looking reflection who had no choice than to sneer back to him. 'Hard to believe.'  
  
Well, his time as a spy had certainly been the most terrible time of his life, but somehow it had also been predictable. Or that was at least what he had thought it was. Because, if he was being honest, he had expected to die in the end, one way or the other. Oh, yes, maybe as some kind of 'lone hero'. Somehow had hadn't foreseen that he would live on after the whole disastrous affair of defeating Voldemort. No, there wasn't any gravestone with his name on it, ornated by the Order of Merlin, first class, awarded posthumously. Instead he was alive, stuck in this flat with muggles who were so bloody friendly, his work worse than boring ...  
  
He laughed bitterly. 'Now, I think I'am just in the right mood for a party. Well, done, Severus.' And before he had a chance to decide differently, he turned on his heel and swept out of the door ... only to find that he had forgotten the most important item of the evening: the salad. He hurried back, grabbed the bowl and strode out of his flat without giving the mirror another chance to catch his reflection.  
  
---  
  
Down in the cellar, it was against what Severus had expected, quite warm. He had always connected rooms in the basement with a cold damp climate. These were different. There was a heating. His clothes, who had been designed to withstand a chilly dungeon atmosphere, were certainly not fit for this environment. If there was one thing he hated, amongst a lot of others, it was to sweat unnecessarily, without physically doing anything. There was a good chance he would die of a heatstroke rather than of embarrassment, he decided. There again, he had to watch it. If he started to direct his sarcasm against himself, he was in real danger of losing control. But he needn't have worried. The children present had already detected him and gathered around him, gaping at his 'costume'.  
  
'Wow, that looks cool. What are you?'  
  
'That's a wizard's costume', Philipp Forrester informed them.  
  
'It looks quite expensive,' somebody said.  
  
'But what about a pointed hat?' another boy wanted to know.  
  
'And haven't you got a wand?' a small curly haired girl wanted to know. 'Wizards normally have a wand, you know,' she said importantly.  
  
'Yes, you said you'd have one', Philipp added.  
  
'I know. There was one which went with the costume, but I lost it somehow. It wasn't very pretty anyway.'  
  
Now, that was a blatant lie. He had been very fond of his wand which had been a beautiful specimen, made out of yew with a core of Thestral hair. It had come with a stain protective spell. A fact which came in handy when you had to touch it with hands sticky from potions or their ingredients. He had bought it from his first teacher's salary at Hogwarts. He would have to pull himself together if he wanted to survive this evening.  
  
The neighbour from under his flat came to say hello. 'How nice that you made it. You can put the salad over there, next to the other things,' Mrs. Forrester said, leading him over where all the food was arranged on some tables.  
  
'Well, you would know the others, as you have been to our summer party, haven't you? But some people have brought friends.' She walked with him in direction of a small man with grey hair and a pointed nose. Judging from the man's face Severus would have been strongly reminded of a mouse, if it wasn't for the ridiculous costume, the man was wearing. He was stuck in a big orange ballon, which was obviously supposed to represent a pumpkin. 'This is Mr. Jones, I believe he is working somewhere in a London Ministry. May I introduce you? This is Mr. Snape.' She let the two alone to greet some newcomers. Before he could say something to Mr. Jones, Severus was slightly distracted.  
  
'It's quite creepy down here, isn't it. And how fitting, with the full moon, makes everything so ... ghost-like,' he heard a woman's voice behind him and cringed slightly. Of all things, he didn't want to be reminded of the moon. Unbidden, Lupin in his wolf's form came to his mind. He wondered what he was doing right now. If the moon was up, they should have transformed by now. Very likely, he was just now sitting in a circle of his fellow werewolves, howling. Severus shuddered at the thought.  
  
'Creepy'? He wouldn't describe a cellar with heating and plenty of people and nice food like that. Well, they had dimmed the light and decorated the walls with old bedsheets. The children had painted 'ghosts', pumpkins, wizards and bats on them. Quite nicely done, actually. But anyone who had come across a real ghosts birthday party - and Severus had had the pleasure to attend several of the Bloody Baron's in the past - would have problems to find the present environment anything else but pleasant.  
  
If it wasn't for the need of conversation. Conversation with people who were still strangers to him. What was more, it could even be dangerous, as he didn't really know what to tell them, say, about his work. You could invent the strangest or most boring professions, and you could bet that the person opposite you was working in the same field or knew somebody who did, and so on. To tell people that you were working in the administration of a big city like London, or even a Ministry, only seemed to be safe. He had once told that to a woman who had turned out to be working for a personnell department of the said institution, responsible for people whose name started with an 'S'. On the other hand, if you told people your job was something confidential to be kept secret, it would only rouse interest. So it was always a risk to talk about jobs. There was also no point in inventing any boring low paid job, as his flat and the part of London where he was living were simply too expensive for that.  
  
'Ah, well, it's not in a Ministry, but close. It's confidential, I'm afraid,' the mousy pumpkin-man jolted Severus out of his musings.  
  
'Huh? Oh yes, I understand. That would be the same with me. Actually, I don't know why my work should be kept that secret. If I gave anybody details, I bet, they would be totally bored and wouldn't understand a word,' Severus shrugged his shoulders and tried to make his statement like a routine thing.  
  
'Yes, that's right. Nothing interesting to tell about. It's only a pity that it usually deprives you of subjects to talk about at parties, doesn't it?  
  
'Exactly,' Severus stated. Fortunately, pumpkin-man didn't seem to be interested in more conversation, so Severus turned around to get himself a bit of food.  
  
'Who made this salad? It's delicious,' someone asked.  
  
'Mr. Snape did.'  
  
'Oh, really? Well, Mr. Snape, would you care about giving me the recipy some time?'  
  
Severus tried to appear busy with ladling soup into a cup. 'Recipy? Well, uhm, I usually don't cook after recipies, you know. With a salad, for example, I would cut everything and with the dressing, I add the ingredients one by one, and I also do a lot of tasting in between. And... when I like the taste, I simply decide, that it is finished.'  
  
'I see,' the woman who had asked him (if he remembered correctly, her name was Pearce and she was living on the first floor) seemed a bit disappointed, 'but do tell me what kind of kitchen appliance do you use to get the pieces that even?'  
  
Oh, why do people have to be so insistent and complicated about this cooking thing? Severus asked himself exasperatedly. When he had decided to bring a salad he had only meant well. He was certainly happy about the fact that the other guests liked it, but he didn't want to discuss it. But he managed to keep his voice calm when he answered.  
  
'Well, I always use a knife. A simple kitchen knife. There is nothing special about it, I would think.'  
  
'You are using a knife to cut all of this by hand?' Mrs. Pearce asked disbelievingly. 'But that must be an awful lot of work! I wouldn't have the time, let alone the patience to spend all the time cutting vegetables for a salad. But anyway, it's great.' Having given that statement, she turned away to greet a new guest, somebody Severus remembered to have met before on another occasion, but wasn't able to recall his name.  
  
Strange. He couldn't remember somebody telling him that he had patience. Well, vegetables were easier to deal with than students ...  
  
The party went on like this for some time. He had some more smalltalk with other guests, butt he more the evening wore on, the harder it became for him to stay calm and pretend that he was enjoying himself. Damn, he certainly was no party person. What made it worse, he became more and more irritated by the heat that was building up under the layers of his clothes. After two hours, he contemplated the option to take the robes off.  
  
Mr. Jones seemed to have the same problem. When he came over, Severus couldn't help to notice that the man must have had a good share of alcoholic drinks already, as he was swaying slightly. He wasn't able to focus properly on Severus when he talked to him and little streams of sweat were running down his forehead over his red puffed up face.  
  
'Uh. Hot in here, isn't it? D..did ... didn.. know t'was that warm down here, ... or did they tell you? I ca... cann't take the cos ... cossume off, you know. Would be embarrassing... I I can't run arrround in my under ... unnerware, can I?' and he began to laugh madly, nearly losing his balance.  
  
To prevent himself from falling, he grabbed Severus by his shoulder and nearly toppled on the former Potions master who now had the dubious pleasure of smelling the man's breath.  
  
Severus was disgusted by the sudden unexpected body contact. Not that drinking alcohol was a strange concept to him. From his experience at social gatherings in the wizarding world, alcoholic beverages were also served, but if you drank them, you were expected to keep control. Wizards and witches who wanted to drink themselves silly, would usually do it at home or at least in more private circles. But still, it could be a dangerous thing for a wizard to get drunk, as the magic inside you would become uncontrollable and, as a consequence, dangerous to yourself and other people. As a wizard, Severus had only drunken when he had felt that he was in a safe environment. Naturally, that had rarely been the case in his past, he thought while he was struggling with the oversized inebriated pumpkin who by now was trying to hug him.  
  
Severus managed to get the man off him, finally, but Mr. Jones wasn't able to stand of his own accord anymore, so he let him slide down on the floor. He didn't seem to be too unhappy about it, as he fell asleep only an instant later. Severus checked his pulse to make sure that he was okay and retreated from the snoring specimen of a very intoxicated muggle.  
  
Severus shook his head. Alcohol, really. He knew that there were a lot of other much more dangerous drugs available in the muggle world, but nothing compared to the potions, wizards coul get their hands on. If muggles only had the faintest idea about what kind of potions wizards could rely on should they decide to manipulate their minds to forget, have fun or for whatever reason. Well, strictly speaking, not all wizard had access to these kind of potions, muggles would call dangerous drugs. Only wizards who could brew complex potions themselves or knew somebody who was able and willing to provide them with it. They were dangerous as well, as he knew from painful experience, and misuse was naturally prosecuted by the Ministry. If they ever found out, that was.  
  
Severus decided that if he didn't want to suffocate, he had to get rid of part of his clothing. And after having taken off his robes, leaving him in his white shirt and black trousers, Severus felt much better indeed. He even managed to spend another hour with small talk and tried some more food from the buffet, but then his patience clearly came to an end. The only thing he was able to think about was how to get out of this place as quick as possible. Feigning a headache and the necessity of getting up early for work (a lame excuse, but he was sure they thought him to be 'weird' anyway, and he didn't care at the moment) he said good bye to some of the guests and fled. 


	8. 8 Halloween aftermath

Disclaimer: I think everybody knows by now that I don't own any of the characters in this story and that I don't earn any money with this.  
  
8 Halloween aftermath  
  
He stormed up the staircase, taking two steps at once. When he reached his flat, he opened the door so violently that it crashed into the wall and slammed shut out of its own accord behind him. The desperate wizard ripped the clothes from his body, flinging them around carelessly while he went along the corridor through the kitchen into his living room until the only piece left of his wardrobe were his boxers. There he opened the door to the balcony to let the cold night air in. He had the vague idea that he would be able to calm down by cooling his body with the chill which came in through the door. Having done that, he let himself sink down on the floor next to an armchair and leaned against its back, devoid of all energy.  
  
He tried to calm his breathing. Get a grip on yourself, focus, Severus, no need to react like that, he kept telling himself. They are only muggles. Friendly muggles who have no idea who you are or who you have been. They may find you a bit odd, but who isn't a bit strange, from time to time? But it didn't help. The cold air which was drifting in, causing the curtains to move slightly, only made him shiver. You are a fool, Severus Snape, a hopeless loser. Other people go to parties and even if they are bored to death, they don't become that desperate. It was very likely, despite Severus felt observed all the time he was with people, that they probably found him pretty boring and therefore didn't take much notice of him. So there shouldn't be a reason for him to worry.  
  
Or was there? The very fact that he knew he shouldn't worry only made him more miserable. Severus felt a lump in his throat which would soon lead to tears welling up inside him. A feeling he dreaded and had much practice in suppressing. Crouching behind the armchair he hugged his knees and pressed his face fiercely against them. By breathing in and out deeply, he managed to avoid crying, but he wasn't able to suppress his shuddering.  
  
He only began to calm down a bit after he had resorted to his most effective means of getting him to focus despite any feelings he might have, be it fear or anger. For Severus that usually meant memorizing complex potions recipies. In doing this, he did not only name ingredients, but pictured the whole process in his mind, including all the preparations, the actual brewing with adding and stirring and correct timing. As usual, it helped distracting him from his actual feelings for a while. But he also began to feel very tired.  
  
Despite the complicated potion he was brewing virtually at the moment - and he had taken care that it wasn't the wolfsbane potion for the obvious reason - pictures began to form in his mind. Pictures of memories, he could do without, especially now, when he was feeling so down.  
  
---  
  
He was standing at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Hogwarts was in ruins, the last tower was about to crumble and a bright fire could be seen where once the library had been. A lot of wizards were running around, shouting. Some could be seen lying on the ground, motionless, but one could not tell if they were dead or alive. Luckily, they had been able to evacuate most of the students in time, because he had been able to give Dumbledore a warning.  
  
The lake was steaming as if it was boiling. The arms of the giant squid could be seen drifting lifeless on the surface. Severus wasn't able to identify the faces of single wizards as they were strangely blurred. The more he tried to see a familiar face, the more he squinted his eyes, the more blurred they became.  
  
Then he heard a rythmic thumping behind him, quickly coming nearer. He turned slowly, very slowly. He wasn't able to move any quicker as he seemed to be glued to the earth. Then he saw what he had already known was coming behind him. The wolf was approaching very fast and it was huge. The fur was a brownish grey and its eyes were glowing in a strange orange colour.  
  
Severus felt a lump of ice falling into his stomach. His arms became numb, his legs seemed to be made of lead and rooted to the spot. Running from the animal was no option anyway, but he also wasn't able to defend himself otherwise. He couldn't even draw his wand from his sleeve. He simply stood, awaiting the inevitable.  
  
When the wolf jumped at him, baring its teeth and sprinkling its saliva into the wizard's face, Severus screamed and woke up, still sitting in the position he had fallen asleep.  
  
He was soaked in sweat, shivering violently because of the open balcony door and sheer terror. His heart was hammering madly and he panted. He still wasn't able to move out of this uncomfortable position. He was so cold that he couldn't stop his teeth from chattering. After a few minutes, though, he finally managed to force himself to get up. Stiffly and slowly he first went to the open door to close it, but was hardly ably to move the handle. Then he stalked into the direction of the kitchen. He should be used to that kind of terrifying dreams, as it was only one in a long row of nightmares he usually had of Remus Lupin. Well, he didn't know if it was the otherwise very friendly wizard, it could be any werewolf, couldn't it? He didn't exactly know how Remus looked in his wolf's form, but who else should it be, after the initial trauma in the Shrieking Shack all those years ago.  
  
He went into the kitchen and put the kettle on, then into the bedroom to get one of his nightshirts, preferably one of the grey warm ones. To add to his comfort, he also chose a pair of thick woollen socks. Back in the kitchen he produced the strongest hot chocolate he had ever brewed.  
  
A few minutes later he was in bed, holding the steaming mug, sipping carefully at the hot sweet beverage. After a while, the shivering had ceased, and he felt much better. When he had finished the chocolate, switching off the light on his bedstand, rolling over and snuggling into the sheets was only a matter of seconds. Sleep came soon afterwards. Half asleep, he wondered what people needed sleeping potions for, as hot chocolate did work so well with him. Well, maybe it only worked when you had loads of stress beforehand.  
  
--------  
  
The next morning found him standing at the sink scrubbing furiously at the mug to clean it from the sticky remains of chocolate. This tedious work was beginning to irritate him, but otherwise, he was in a relatively good mood.  
  
Today, Harry would give him more details about his spying task, certainly something to look forward to and to keep his idle mind busy.  
  
After having finished breakfast, he hurried out of his flat, but was again stopped by Mrs. Forrester who was seeing Philipp to school.  
  
'Oh. Morning, Mr. Snape. Are you better this morning?'  
  
'Morning. Huh, me? Oh, yes. Thank you for your concern. Hot chocolate, you know, works wonders. That, loads of fresh air and a good long sleep.'  
  
'Hot chocolate? Interesting. Maybe I should try that next time I have my migraine.'  
  
'Yes. It's certainly worth a try. See you.' And off he was. He doubted if Mrs. Forrester would like to sit in her underwear near the open balcony door for hours when she had a migraine, so he had left out details about the 'fresh air' bit. Also, his sleep hadn't been exactly long last night, but sufficient to give him the energy to show up at work.  
  
-----  
  
Harry hadn't been in his office when Severus had arrived at the appointed time. A house elf had given him the promised list of suspicious people. The former Potions master had been a bit disappointed about the auror's absence. He had been under the impression that the task he was supposed to do was of some importance for Harry, and now he had delegated something as important as a list of suspects to a house elf. Well, maybe, Severus thought, maybe I am expecting too much already. Remember, he told himself, you are only a registrar and a part time spy for watching some people, nothing more.  
  
He was half-way back to the registry when he felt the sudden urge to use a bathroom. There was one near, so he directed his steps towards the said facility. He had only just entered when he remembered that this was an ordinary bathroom, which meant it was designed for wizards and that he wouldn't be able to use anything. No tab or flush in this room would work without magic.  
  
Annoyed, he was about to leave, when a sound which emanated from one of the cubicles caused him to hesitate. Somebody was obviously sick, as Severus could guess easily from the kind of sound and the smell of vomit. He contemplated for a second or so what to do. He had the strong desire to run from the place, the stench rising a nausea in him as well. His sense of smell, once an indispensable tool for his former profession as a potion maker, hadn't left him when he had lost his magic. Clearly a disadvantage in this situation. But somebody was obviously in distress and probably in need of help.  
  
He approached the cubicle where he supposed the person to be, trying not to breeze trough his nose.  
  
'Hallo there? Have you got any problems?' Instead of an answer, only more retching could be heard. As if the person was trying to turn his insides out.  
  
'Can I be of any help?' There was no way. He had to get in and look what the matter was.  
  
He found that the door to the cubicle wasn't locked, as if the man had known that he would have to be rescued. When Severus opened it, he gasped at what he was seeing. It wasn't difficult for him to recognize the owner of the blonde hair with the grey streaks who was kneeling in front of the toilet.  
  
'What on earth ... are You doing here?'  
  
'I thought that was quite obvious, Severus,' Remus, who was finally able to speak, answered, his voice very low. He was still hanging over the bowl, his arms clinging to the seat. He didn't turn round. 'We generally call it a full moon hangover,' the werewolf whispered, shuddering. He couldn't say anything else, as a new wave of nausea forced him into convulsions over the toilet bowl.  
  
Severus pulled a face. He was torn between beeing disgusted and feeling pity for Remus. Other people had to get drunk the night before to be in such a state the next morning, and this man didn't have a choice.  
  
'Come on. Stop it, Remus, or there won't be anything left of you. Wait, I'll help you out of here.'  
  
He didn't wait for an answer, but put his arms under Remus' shoulders and pulled him up. But it wasn't as easy as that. The violent vomiting had weakend the werewolf so much that his knees hardly supported him. Severus half dragged Remus out of the cubicle and had to carry nearly all of the man's weight.  
  
'Well, what I meant, was, what are you doing up here in the Ministry on a morning after the full moon, when you should be down in the dungeons or at home to recover? Also, I wonder, aren't they providing you with a relief potion in the morning? You know, something like the one I sometimes gave you when you were teaching at Hogwarts.'  
  
'...'course they give us that. It's only ...' Remus groaned and his knees buckled. Severus had to support him fully now.  
  
'Your are supposed to rest, otherwise it won't help. I know,' Severus finished the sentence for him and pulled him up again, trying to get him nearer to one of the washbasins.  
  
'Oh please, no lecture Severus. Not right now. I know I should be resting,' he whispered. He now seemed to get a grip on himself. He was still a bit shaky, but standing out of his own accord. 'And would you mind not to shout, please. I have a splitting headache.' he pleaded.  
  
Severus knew that werewolves had enhanced senses, no matter if they were in their wolf's form or not. It was probably quite painful when you had a headache that was more than a migraine than anything else, when you had such sensitive hearing abilites. Severus hadn't shouted, of course, but he still lowered his voice a bit more when he answered.  
  
'I am not going to lecture you. Who do you think I am? I have dealt with a lot of sick children while I was Head of Slytherin House. I suggest you clean yourself up a bit, but I won't be much of a help, as this is a magical bathroom.'  
  
'Right.' Remus had had his eyes closed shut during this conversation to prevent any light from triggering a real migraine. He was still keeping them closed while he fingered for his wand in his left sleeve and when he had found it, directed it in the general direction of the washbasins. Doing magic when you were ill was never a good idea, as your magical abilities were always related to your current physical condition. As a consequence, Severus and Remus received a shower from all directions for a few seconds before Remus finally opened his eyes and was able to focus enough to make one tab work properly.  
  
'Uhm. Sorry,' Remus murmured.  
  
'Never mind,' Severus sighed, wiping the water from his face.  
  
While Remus was washing his face and rinsing his mouth, Severus stood close by to prevent the wizard from falling should he collapse again.  
  
'Now then,' Severus began when Remus had finished the procedure, 'what am I going to do with you? You will hardly be in a state to apparate home. Have you got a sofa in you office?'  
  
'No. Have you?' Remus asked.  
  
'No. That would be too obvious, wouldn't it. Well, I remember a first aid room further down this corridor. Would it be okay for you, if I brought you there? And I could look for one of the Ministry's mediwizards to see you.'  
  
'Oh no. That's not necessary, Severus. The first aid room will do.'  
  
Remus did a few steps in the direction of the door. When Severus saw that the werewolf was still swaying unsteadily, he followed him, put an arm around him and led him out of the bathroom.  
  
When they had reached the first aid room, Severus helped him onto a narrow couch. While Remus was trying to find a comfortable position, Severus went over to the window to open it and let some fresh air in the stuffy room. Having done that, he started to search something to cover the werewolf. He finally found what he was looking for in a chest. While he was rummaging, Remus suddenly started to speak again.  
  
'I forgot to ask about your party yesterday. How was it?'  
  
Severus went over to him and covered him with the two blankets he had found.  
  
'You had better not asked, Remus. You were right, of course. It was a desaster.' While he was speaking he turned away from the wizard on the couch and went over to the window again. 'I think I made a complete fool of myself, but they didn't notice. Damn, I felt so depressed afterwards ...'  
  
He turned around to see the werewolf's reaction, already regretting that he had told the wizard so much about his feelings. Something he usually never did. But he needn't have worried. Remus Lupin was fast asleep already.  
  
Severus sighed, approaching him. He looked so peaceful in his sleep (well, all people normally look like that in this state). Not that he wasn't like that when he was awake. Although a fierce fighter when it came to defending himself and others, especially against the dark arts, he usually was all amiable, polite and helpful beyond his own good. It was the beast in him that frightened Severus so much. Hard to believe that it was the same man, who had nearly once killed him and was visiting him in his nightmares every full moon.  
  
Before he left, the former Potions master checked the sleeping werewolf's pulse, found it to be regular, and went out, closing the door quietly behind him.  
  
------------  
  
A/N:  
  
Sue Falkenkralle: Did I promise action? There will be some in the central chapter, and I hope you won't find it too dramatic then. As for cooking. I am glad I tricked you there. I do cook for myself, but I would never have the patience to do long complicated recipies. Where would be the time to write fanfiction? I just thought it would be fitting for Severus. For myself, for relaxing, I go running. Actually, that wouldn't be bad for Severus in his situation, but there is no way I could imagine him in running tights (even if they would be black) and sneakers participating in a marathon (hilarious idea :-) well, If you should know a fanfic where he is made running, tell me).  
  
LinZE: Well, if you insist, I could invite Minerva to another party, would that be alright for you?  
  
For all the others: thank you so much for your reviews. Really makes me happy when I find them first thing in the morning before I start work. 


	9. 9 The pub

Disclaimer: see chapter one  
  
Learn to know the Moon  
  
9 The Pub  
  
'Harry wasn't very specific about what we are supposed to find or to do in that pub, was he?' Remus asked while he and Severus were walking in a narrow London back street.  
  
'I thought he was quite clear about it. Just sit and watch and note who comes in and meets whom, I guess. Anyway, if you go spying, you have to be inventive, use your instinct an imagination, you know,' the former spy explained.  
  
'Oh, just stop that, Severus, will you? You don't have to show off and give me a lecture, only because you are the expert in these matters.'  
  
'Merlin! You are in a bad mood. I was just giving my opinion about the situation we'll probably have to deal with.'  
  
'You with your teacher's attitude', Remus snapped.  
  
'Pardon me, but if I remember correctly, you have also been a teacher once. And you have enjoyed it. I didn't even like the job. So don't accuse me of having a teacher's attitude. Anyway. If you are not fit for this task tonight, you shouldn't have come, you know.'  
  
'I am feeling perfectly well. Thank you,' the irritable werewolf retorted.  
  
'You don't look it.'  
  
Severus' last remark had obviously been one too much. He realized that, when he suddenly found himself pinned to a house wall by a furious looking Remus Lupin who had unexpectedly swung around and pushed him hard against it.  
  
'You may not be aware of it, Severus, but your know-it-all attitude is insufferable at times. Just leave me alone, will you? If I decide to go into a pub to observe some strange muggles or wizards, that's solely my choice. Do you understand?'  
  
Taken by surprise, Severus was at a loss for words for a second or two. When part of a definition from 'Magical Maladies and Cures' sprung to his mind, his sense even told him not to answer to this accusation in a way he would normally have done:  
  
#Lycanthrophy: ... affected persons may show unusual behaviour at times, are depressed or irritable, sometimes even violent shortly before or after the full moon. Most often they are not aware of their mood shifts which can be quite disturbing for their environment.'#  
  
Indeed, Remus did look a bit off colour and his foul mood was surely due to the fact that he hadn't recovered fully from the last full moon. The former Potions master was a bit unsure what to do. Usually he was the one who was irritable and others had to suffer from his mood changes. When he came across that characteristic in others, he found it difficult to deal with.  
  
Generally, he wasn't somebody who would tolerate that kind of behaviour and at another time, a confrontation like that would definitely have lead to a duel. Magical duelling was out of the question of course, but he finally did react. Although more out of instinct, not rational thinking, because regarding physical strength, Severus knew that he wouldn't be a match for Remus.  
  
'Who do you think you are?' he thundered at the werewolf, throwing his arms up and pushing Remus back with all the force he could muster. 'Are you completely out of your mind? I thought we would be doing this out of fun, for distraction. If it is too hard for you to control your temper in my presence, than get out of my way, ... will you!' He had shouted the last sentences. If Severus had have any hope to stop the wizard in his trait of behaviour, he had been wrong. His response fuelled the werewolf's anger even more.  
  
'ME? I am only Remus Lupin, the one everybody has pity with because of his condition, but who is feared and despised behind his back at the same time. DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT THIS IS?' he yelled back. 'To deal with people who expect you to jump at them and tear their throats any minute? AND YOU! YOU ARE THE WORST OF ALL!'  
  
He had got worked up so much in his rage that his voice sounded shrill by now. 'Do you think I don't notice the fear that is building up inside you every time we meet?'  
  
They were standing a foot apart now, but fortunately Remus had refrained from pushing Severus again, so that the confrontation continued only verbally. Severus was only glad that up to now, nobody seemed to have noticed their exchange. They were in a dark narrow back street with high walls and hardly any windows, certainly a place where normal people wouldn't chose to stay.  
  
And Remus was still far away from having finished his tirade. He had stopped shouting but was otherwise very enraged and spat his sentences in Severus' face who had come to the conclusion that it would be best not to interfere for the time being. He thought that the werewolf would cool down out of his own accord, once he had got rid of all he had to say to the former Potions master. And Severus, who had crossed his arms and tried to keep a neutral expression on his face, believed he knew what else was going to come.  
  
'How many times do I have to tell you that it wasn't my fault back at Hogwarts? I have apologized, haven't I? More than once, I believe. It was Sirius' fault alone. Maybe I should have worked harder to influence him in any way, but I don't think it would have worked, he was just so obsessed with his private war with you. By the way, your behaviour didn't help much to change that either, did it? Anyway, it was his doing and you should just know how hard it was for me to accept him as a friend after that. I never really forgave him, you know. But the Marauders were my only friends at that time, the only ones who knew my secret and guarded it. I simply had no choice. You may call me a coward for that, or whatever, but stop looking at me like that every time we meet, okay?'  
  
Severus wondered if Harry was aware of the tension which was still existing between him and the werewolf. Probably not, or he wouldn't have sent them together on a mission, or had he done that on purpose?  
  
He finally cleared his throat to give Remus an answer and to end this highly uncomfortable situation. When he spoke, he forced his voice to be calm and soft to prevent any further provocation against the angry wizard.  
  
'I know that it wasn't your fault, Remus. I've always known. But back there at school, well, as you were part of the Marauder gang, I projected my hatred against you as well, of course. I must admit, after all this time ... it seems quite ridiculous, especially after what we all have been through. But ... you see ...' he hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should really tell Remus, but if not now, when should he ever do so? His voice became even softer and he looked slightly away when he went on. 'This traumatic event is still haunting me. One should think I have experienced more terrible things in the run of time, with the Dark Lord and all, but ... every full moon, you see ... well, I've got nightmares about you. Now you know.'  
  
That last remark had done the trick. Remus stood speechless, looking slightly ashamed at the other man.  
  
'Nightmares? Every full moon?' He finally asked disbelievingly.  
  
'Every single one.'  
  
'Oh, I'm so sorry, Severus. I shouldn't have said all these things. I was beyond myself. You know, I think, I haven't recovered fully yet from the transformation. Sorry.'  
  
He seemed to be his old self again. The kind, forgiving Remus Lupin, who'd sooner apologize for things he wasn't responsible for than hurt anyone's feelings.  
  
'No no. You were quite right, Remus. I do act a bit, well lets say irrational at times. But don't you think we should drop that subject now? We might even continue with our mission, the very reason we are here for in the first place, don't you think? Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind having a bit of dinner, too,' Severus suggested.  
  
'Yes. Good idea. It would look a bit awkward, too, if we'd have to tell Harry tomorrow that we weren't able to accomplish his task because we quarrelled like schoolboys, wouldn't it?'  
  
'Yes. Quite embarrassing, I'd say,' Severus agreed.  
  
For the rest of the way they walked in silence. After a few minutes they stopped in front of a house which seemed to be the only one with life in it. All the sourrounding buildings were empty shops and run down warehouses.  
  
'That must be it. 'The green stag', as Harry told us,' Severus broke the silence.  
  
'Hm. Looks like it,' Remus sighed. He sounded tired, their encounter seemed to have taken all energy out of him. 'Not very inviting, if you ask me.'  
  
'I only hope they have some decent food there.'  
  
'Well, I'm not very hungry,' Remus said.  
  
'But we can't go in there and not eat anything. Surely, you know that muggles usually drink something with alcohol in it when they visit a place like this. As we don't want to rise any attraction, we'll have to act as them, and we'll hardly survive that with empty stomachs,' Severus pointed out.  
  
'Yes., sure. I didn't say I won't eat anything, I just said that I wasn't hungry. But that's the normal thing in my condition. I often eat although I'm not hungry. Just to prevent me from starving myself.'  
  
They were still standig in front of the pub, but Severus was about to grip the door handle when Remus suddenly added:  
  
'Am I mistaken, or do you have some obsession with getting me to eat something? I wouldn't wonder if Harry had talked to you about that.'  
  
'And there I thought that you weren't able to do Legilimency, especially not from behind people without direct eye-contact,' Severus said, not knowing if he should be embarrassed or amused.  
  
But the werewolf only laughed. 'Oh, it doesn't take Legilimency to know about that. Harry's always so concerned about me. If you listen to him you'd think I was his godson and not the other way round.'  
  
After Sirius death, Remus had taken over that role quite naturally and the two had become kind of a family. They had lived to together at Grimmauld place during school holidays and as far as Severus knew, they had even gone on holiday trips together.  
  
'If it sets your mind at ease, Severus, and for Harry's sake, I promise I will eat anything you wish tonight. How about that?' Remus said goodnaturedly.  
  
'Quite daring, I'd say,' Severus answered. 'Or maybe not. As this place is run by muggles, there shouldn't be any weird things on the menu, but what if it were a wizard's pub? How can you be so sure that I wouldn't order ... hm, let me think... fried slugs, for example?' He gave Remus a wicked grin.  
  
'Because,' Remus answered in mock earnest, 'because, I think that in general, you are a decent man and that you would never do such an evil thing to a fellow spy.'  
  
'If you say so,' Severus was amused. 'But allow me to add that you are much too credulous. Your are not suspicious enough for a spy. How on earth did you survive all these years?'  
  
'Gryffindor luck?' the werewolf tried.  
  
'Probably,' Severus snorted shaking his head. Amazing, how Remus had been able to change back to his old behaviour after the scene they'd just had back in that street a few minutes ago.  
  
When they entered the pub, they were greeted by a thick mist of cigarette smoke and a range of unidentifiable smells the owner seemed to have been anxious to keep in the small room for days by not opening the windows.  
  
'Well, that way we'll not be in danger of being watched by them. That's certainly an advantage,' Severus commented drily, coughing.  
  
They went over to the bar and ordered beer. While they were waiting Remus looked around discreetly.  
  
'I don't recognize anybody from my former observations, but that doesn't mean anything. We still don't know who else might be in the affair. I guess the table over there, near the door would be best for an overview of the whole place.'  
  
'Yes, I think so, too. Let's go then,' Severus answered.  
  
'Do you want anything to eat?' the landlord called after them. 'We've got homemade chicken pie. It comes with vegetables.'  
  
'Oh yes, thank you. We'll have two then,' Remus said.  
  
Once they had taken their seats at the said table there wasn't really much to do, so they sat in silence for some minutes, sipping at their drinks. But it didn't take very long. The landlord himself brought the food soon after. Severus was just about to put the fork in his pie when he heard a sharp gasp from Remus who dropped his knife and fork as if they were red- hot.  
  
'What's the matter?' Severus asked with concern in his voice.  
  
'Must be silver.' He showed Severus his palms which showed burns where the skin had been in contact with the cutlery. 'I'll go and try to cool that with water. Excuse me,' Remus muttered and left the table to go to the bathroom.  
  
Severus was surprised. It was commonly known, of course, that werewolves were allergic to silver. That was the reason why people had used items of silver to defend themselves against these beasts or to hunt them down for ages, preferably crossbow bolts. But the former Potions master hadn't known that people with lycanthropy would react that sensitive even after only a short skin contact with silver.  
  
'Is anything wrong?' the landlord, who had come to the table when he had seen that Remus was obviously having a problem, asked concerned.  
  
'Well. My friend is highly allergic to everything which is made out of silver. Would you be so kind to provide him with a new knife and fork?'  
  
'Yes, of course. Sorry about that. A silver allery? That's unusual, isn't it? I have never heard of that before,' the landlord said bewildered.  
  
'Yes, but nowadays people have the remotest kinds of allergies. There is hardly a thing people cannot be allergic to, is there?' Severus pointed out. He didn't want to draw too much attention to them. He knew that for muggles, silver was considered to be a pure metal, often used by people who were allergic to other metals, especially where jewellery was concerned. But if they wanted to stay and finish their task and their meal, he had to give some kind of explanation to the man.  
  
'Yes. You're right. I am very sorry about that. If I'd known that beforehand ... ' having said that, the landlord hurried away to get the new cutlery.  
  
When Remus came back he was looking unhappy, but his face lit up when he saw that he had been provided with a new knife and fork. They looked quite old and as if they had served in the kitchen for generations of cooks, but the important fact was that they had wooden handles.  
  
'Oh. Thanks. Your doing, Severus?'  
  
'Yes. I couldn't see you starving in front of a full bowl, you see.' Severus smirked. But it is a bit unusual for muggles to have a silver allergy. Even I didn't know that werewolves are that sensitive to silver. I would have thought it needed a more intense contact with the body. Through a wound, for example, or the like.'  
  
'Well. I remember that I cut myself once with a silver knife at a friend's when I was ten years old. I spent a week in bed after that, with high fever and all. The healers told my parents that it had been quite close. If you get too much of it in your blood it can affect the heart. What is more, it hurts terribly. That's the reason, I guess, why they still shoot us with silver arrows and bolts, where a simple stunning spell would do,' he scowled darkly.  
  
'They still do, don't they? Just for the sake of causing pain? I would have thought ...'  
  
'Well, most people don't think when werewolves are concerned. They just don't act reasonably out of fear. In some cases they may be right, we can be very dangerous, but in others...'  
  
'But there is the department in the Ministry, and you are working there, Remus. Decades ago, they didn't even have social workers, only aurors for hunting werewolves down. Surely, there must have been some changes over the last years? Just think about all the literature on lycanthropy.'  
  
Remus laughed bitterly. 'Well, that would be the academic approach of our condition. Just look at your case. You know more about werewolves than most people, having brewed the wolfsbane potion for me and all. And what good did it? You're still having nightmares, although you should know that I'll be safe in the dungeons every full moon.'  
  
Severus looked down on his plate, his hair comfortably hiding his face.  
  
'What I am doing at the Ministry is simply giving advice to werewolves and their relatives, mostly in legal things, but also in matters of everyday life,' Remus went on. Generally I am trying to give them the confidence to live on in the wizarding society as if lycanthropy was a normal desease, as if I didn't know better. A poor job, if you ask me. When the real problems occur, if a werewolf turns wild, doesn't show up in the dungeons or if the muggles only report a big wild dog running free and attacking people - as soon as that happens, I am out of it and the aurors take over. In many cases that means death for the werewolf in question.'  
  
Severus gulped. He had lost his appetite after that description. But while he was taking only small bits on his fork, chewing without much enthusiasm, Remus, on the other hand, shoveled the food into his mouth as if he hadn't eaten for days - which was probably the case. He didn't seem to notice what he was eating, though.  
  
'Do you think, these two over there could be some of our suspects?' Severus started the conversation anew.  
  
'No. I don't think so. I've told you that I've seen some of them already when they were meeting in other places, but I cannot be sure, of course.'  
  
'This whole thing isn't going to lead us very far, is it?' Severus sighed.  
  
'Well, no. Probably not. At least, not today. As you said yourself, spying needs a lot of patience,' Remus smiled mildly.  
  
'Is the food okay?' They hadn't noticed that the landlord had approached them - or rather had creeped up upon them - again. Severus felt slightly uncomfortable about that. He wondered, if this was the custom in this place, or if the man was only being polite, because they were strangers here and because of Remus' little accident? Maybe they had become the object of observation themselves already.  
  
'Yes. Thank you. Everything is fine.' Remus answered politely. 'This was chicken in the pie, wasn't it?'  
  
'Oh yes. Certainly no vulture. Haha. My wife makes the pies herself. Some of our guests come especially because of them,' he explained proudly.  
  
Severus was sure he had seen Remus' mouth twitch at the word 'vulture'. When the landlord saw that he wasn't needed anymore, he left them.  
  
Severus frowned. 'Remus. Don't you think I didn't see that.'  
  
'See what?' he asked innocently. When Severus didn't answer but started to stare menacingly, Remus gave in.  
  
'Oh come on, Severus. You are not on about that old joke, are you? I remember having apologized for that as well. Anyway, it was meant to be a harmless thing, really. Well, all right. It's not nice to make fun of teacher colleagues. I realized that, but I think it helped Neville a great deal. By the way, I think, making fun of or bullying students isn't nice either. What is more, you've already punished me for that. Remember, when you spilled the beans about ...'  
  
'Oh stop that, Remus, or we'll end up fighting again,' he interrupted the werewolf. 'Yes, I know that I have never been a model teacher. But the other thing was because I didn't know the whole story about you and Black, because I was cold out at that time. I simply wanted to protect the students and ... well, maybe I was a bit blind, perhaps, as well. But coming back to the vulture ...'  
  
'Oh no, really, Severus ...' Remus groaned.  
  
'What I was going to say is, that it was also unfair towards Mrs. Longbottom.'  
  
'Hm. Perhaps. Have you ever met her? I didn't. Maybe I wasn't long enough at Hogwarts.'  
  
'I did, once. But not at Hogwarts. She never came there as other parents did. She thought that it would be better for Neville to handle everything on his own. No, I met her when I was at St. Mungo's. It was shortly after they had stopped giving me the tranquilizing potions and allowed me to wander around a bit. As you, I hadn't met her before.'  
  
'How did you know her then?' Remus wanted to know.  
  
'By her attire, of course. I think she must be the only witch wearing that kind of hat. Can you imagine the shock I got, when I set my eyes upon her?' Now, Severus couldn't help but grin.  
  
'But she knew who you were?'  
  
'Yes, of course. And do you want to know what she said to me? "Professor Snape, get a grip on yourself. There are many others who are worse off than you".  
  
'Ouch. That wasn't very tactful, was it?' Remus grimaced. 'What did you say to her?'  
  
'Nothing. But she was right, you know, regarding her family's fate. She must be very strong witch to endure all that. I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd hexed me there right on the spot, given the fact that I had been her grandson's least favourite teacher, but she didn't. Just left me standing there.'  
  
'That's what distinguishes a real lady, Severus.'  
  
'Probably.'  
  
There was a moment of silence while the two finished the rest of their dinner and sipped at their beers. During the time they had been there, only three other customers had come in and sat down at the bar to drink. They didn't talk to each other but to the landlord in turns. It didn't look at all as if some conspiracy was going on in this place.  
  
'Well, what do you think. Shall we call it a day?' Remus yawned, 'I'm quite tired and I don't think anything interesting will happen here in the next hours.'  
  
'Yes. You're right. We'll have to wait for another opportunity, I guess. Harry didn't say how urgent this was, did he?' Severus enquired.  
  
'Uh, no. I don't think so. The problem is, we don't really know what's going on. There have been sightings of wizards meeting muggles, which in itself isn't illegal or rises suspicion, of course. But, as you know, these wizards were known to have been close to Voldemort's lot once, and the muggles could certainly be called criminals. So we're just looking for something, hoping to prevent anything which could endanger our world, or the muggles, or both.'  
  
They got up and went over to the bar to pay for their food, said good bye to the landlord and were out of the pub within a minute.  
  
Severus enjoyed the fresh night air after the smoke-laden atmosphere inside that place. He inhaled deeply while the two men walked silently the same way they had come. They went in direction of the underground station where they had met a few hours earlier. There, their ways would part. Severus would take the next train and Remus would probably disapparate home in a moment when no muggle was near to watch.  
  
'Severus, can you do me a favour?'  
  
'Depends.'  
  
'I won't be in the Ministry tomorrow, because I have an appointment outside London. Would you be so kind to report to Harry what we found out, or rather: did not find out tonight?'  
  
'Yes, sure. I am always glad to have an excuse to leave my office. And maybe Harry will have a new assignment for us.'  
  
'So you wouldn't mind spending some more uneventful nights at dubious London pubs to eat and watch totally harmless people?' asked Remus.  
  
'Well, it's not that I have much to do otherwise,' Severus shook his head. 'We are quite a team, aren't we? Well, at least we managed not to fight seriously at the first argument. If we'll be able to improve our understanding in that way, maybe we can track down some real villains.'  
  
Remus smiled. 'In the meantime, I'll try to find a werewolf in the countryside and talk him or her into spending the full moon at the Ministry dungeons.'  
  
'Is that the job you're going to do tomorrow?' Severus enquired.  
  
'Yes. There have been sightings of a wolf northeast of London the last full moon. Muggles saw it. I have got some addresses of wizards living in that region. I'll have a try if one of them could be a werewolf.'  
  
'Would you recognize one when it is in its human form?'  
  
'Yes, definitely. You know that we have enhanced senses.'  
  
'But it could also be a muggle, couldn't it?'  
  
'Theoretically, yes. But it normally becomes known quite quickly, when a muggle is attacked. That always means a lot of work for the Ministry aurors. All the obliviating charms they have to put on the muggles. It's a lot of work too, to trace all the information the muggles produce and to manipulate them afterwards. Quite an ordeal. But in most cases it's wizards who get bitten. Becauses wizards mostly keep to themselves and have not that much contact to muggles. So do wizard werewolves. Most cases are kind of family affairs. You know, couples who are not careful enough and don't put 'their' werewolf in the cellar if they haven't got access to the wolfsbane. Young children who sneak after the family member who disappears every full moon, or the like,' Remus explained.  
  
'But it's better, if you have a family behind you to support you, I guess?'  
  
'Oh yes, definitely. I wouldn't have known what to do without my parents and my grandmother. I was seven years old, you know, when it happened.'  
  
'Well, good luck then for tomorrow,' Severus said when they had reached the underground station. 'I'll talk to Harry. See you.'  
  
'Yes. Bye.' And with a silent 'pop', Remus disapparated, leaving Severus behind a bit wistful. Apparating was certainly one of the magical abilities he was missing. Not that he minded travelling by muggle public transport. In fact, he had often travelled for hours through London, just for the fun of it. He had a monthly season ticket, so he had no bother with buying tickets. It was an excellent means to spend time when you had too much of it, to read or watch other people. At least, it gave you a certain feeling of being busy, although you weren't doing anything.  
  
He needed over an hour to reach his flat and had to change trains twice. When he was sitting at his kitchen table a few minutes later, sipping at a freshly brewed tea, he was wondering how Remus living quarters would look like. If he had a kind of 'cage' at home, just in case?  
  
----  
  
A/N:  
  
If Remus and Severus think their little spying job will stay that uneventful, they are much mistaken.  
  
Don't worry about he social worker. She was only meant to be a background illustration for Severus' everyday life.  
  
Thank you for all your reviews! 


	10. 10 Meeting real criminals

Disclaimer: Remus and Severus are J.K. Rowling's, not mine.

10 Meeting real criminals 

'And you are sure that of these people there last night, haven't been any of our suspects?' Harry asked after Severus had given him a short report of what he and Remus had seen in the pub.

'Yes. Basically, you could say that we achieved nothing last night.' Severus sighed. 'If you don't count the fact that I made the werewolf eat a whole chicken pie,' he added casually, keeping his expression indifferent.

'Oh, … well. At least something then.' Harry smiled weakly. 'But he didn't notice, did he?'

'Notice what ?' Severus preferred pretending to be a bit slow on the uptake. Somehow he liked to keep Harry a bit uncomfortable. And he definitely was, judging from his expression, when he went into more detail.

'You know what I was getting at, Severus. Did he suspect anything, I mean that I asked you to watch his eating habits. You didn't tell him, did you?' he asked anxiously.

'No. I am not that stupid. But on the other hand, Remus Lupin isn't either. As soon as I started to speak about having dinner at that place, he thought that I was acting on your behalf. I would, too, if people were nagging at me about that constantly.' He gave Harry a pointed look.

'Yes. I know. But, … just look at him! He is so thin and he's definitely working too much.' Harry made a helpless gesture by throwing his arms up and sighed. 'If he's happy like that …'

'Well,' Severus began, although he didn't see any need to discuss Remus with Harry. Who was he to judge other people's feelings when he was so discontented himself?

'I don't know if Remus talks to you about that. He is definitely devoted to his job, not that he's got a choice to chose a different profession, though. But he seems to be a bit frustrated that he cannot give all the help which would be needed, you know. That he is restricted by the law and the aurors of the Werewolf Department. That is hard for somebody in whose life helping other people plays a major role.'

'As long as you two get along well …'

'Generally, yes. But I'd rather not do these observation jobs when they are too close to the full moon. As you surely have experienced yourself, Remus seems to be a bit irritable at these times,' Severus objected. 'Not that I cannot deal with that,' he lied, 'but it's a bit embarrassing and, what is more, can proof to be quite dangerous if we should ever meet the real suspects.'

Harry frowned. 'Irritable? Yes, I remember when we lived at Grimmauld Place, but … you didn't have an argument, did you?' the young auror suddenly asked concerned.

'Kind of. To tell the truth, we only came to our senses just in time to prevent a serious fight.' Harry began to look alarmed at that information, but let Severus carry on. 'Don't worry, I think we'll both be able to manage. As I've said before, the time was badly chosen, at other times, we get along quite well.'

'Right.' Harry finally said and took a deep breath. 'If you say so … here is a new list. It's kind of an update, with the old names and a few new ones. There are also some new places added to it, where they could probably be found when some of them meet because they have been seen there before.'

Severus took the paper from Harry and gave it a quick look. 

'Very well. If you've got a copy I could give it to Remus. I think I will meet him at the canteen somtime this week.'

'Uhm, yes.' Harry seemed a bit embarassed.

So he proved to be just another of those wizards who tended to forget, at least at times, that the former Potions master wasn't able to perform the simplest spell, as a copying spell would have been. That was, if a document wasn't charmed with a copyproof charm which was designed to prevent excactly that, but even those were breakable.

Harry took the paper from Severus, tapped it with his wand and spoke the incantation, then gave the two copies back to him.

'Thanks. Anything else?' Severus asked.

'No. Thank you for your help in this matter, Severus. I really appreciate that.'

Severus shrugged his shoulders. He thought that the young auror looked a bit lost behind his desk, surrounded by all the paperwork. He didn't envy him for his job, having to deal with Fudge and at the same time trying to do something useful. Compared to his own situation, Severus thought and was a bit astonished about that idea himself, he had an easier life. He was free to hate the Minister from the bottom of his heart and was left in peace in the registry. On top of that, he now had even acquired a pasttime which would, as he hoped, prove to be a bit interesting. And, even more important, he wouldn't be doing it alone.

'Right. I'll go back to my exciting job of disturbing the house elves in their working routine. Tell me or Remus if you have a new observation assignment for us.'

He got up, gave Harry a short nod and turned on his heels, creating the characteristic swish of his robes. He hadn't given up this habit, but it only worked in the Ministry, of course, when he was wearing his working robes. Not that he expected to impress anybody with it, he just didn't see the point in changing anything about his person when so much of himself had already been changed against his will.

-------

His hope that their spying job would become more interesting seemed to fulfill itself a few weeks later, but not in a way Severus would have expected. During their pub visits, and he and Remus had have quite a few of them, nothing interesting ever happened. Severus didn't mind, though. To his surprise, and also perhaps to Remus', they always found enough subjects to talk about. They even discussed their own school time and Severus was finally able to laugh about some of the Marauder's pranks, something he wouldn't have dreamed about a few month earlier. They had a silent agreement with Harry that they wouldn't go out two days before and after a full moon and that had proved to work well, as Remus was his usual self and didn't show any signs of werewolf mood changes.

One day, Severus hadn't seen the werewolf for some time and they hadn't been on an observation mission for quite a while, he became witness of a conversation which triggered all his alarms who seemed to have been asleep for years now. 

Just two days ago, he had talked to Harry about changing their methodical approach and becoming more 'active' as spies, but Harry had denied that, because he thought it to be too dangerous.

Now he found himself in a very private place, indeed. Actually, he was in a cubicle of a bathroom from where he was forced to listen to two men who were talking very excitedly, obviously not aware that they were overheard. Severus wondered why they were acting so careless but didn't follow this line of thought any further because he was so taken by the contents of the dialogue.

'… and you're sure he will bring that new stuff? I don't quite trust him, you know. Alec always tries out new things, and almost every time we meet he brings strangers. If you ask me, that's quite a risk,' one of the two men said.

'Yeah, I know, Alec is a bit mad. Always exaggerating. But you can't blame him for not providing us with good clients. Their payments are always punctual, and, not to forget, generous. And this time, it will be a new creation. He said that it's really magic, bringing the people into new dimensions,' the second voice, which sounded very young and enthusiastic, explained.

'Are there any side-effects known?' the first man wanted to know.

'Oh Jeff, you sound like a bloody doctor!' the second voice became impatient. 'Side-effects! What the hell do we care about side-effects? Let them take the stuff. No matter what Rick creates with his team, there will always be some nutters who are willing to swallow anything just for the kick of it. Even if it should kill them. You now that some of them are so far gone already, they don't really care.'

'Well, it's not that I care for these people, but don't you think it could be dangerous when too many people snuff it and they find out a connection to us? The police seems to have a track already, you know.'

'True, but never mind. Our job is only to deliver the stuff and to collect the money. That's it. Anything else isn't our business. Stick to that and don't do so much thinking about what could happen. I am telling you, it'll be much easier and safer like that. It's Alec's job to keep everything safe.'

'Right. Although I can't help having a bad feeling about this. Little Whisping-on-the-Whisp it was?'

'Well it's not a real place, it's only an abandoned farm. But I've got a map of the sourroundings. It's north-west of London.'

When the two had obviously left the bathroom, Severus was very excited, seeing suddenly the chance to get after some of their suspects and to get some light in their obscure mission. He had to restrain himself not to follow them straight away. He'd have liked to see where they were going or what means of transport they had, but it wouldn't have been much use. It wouldn't do to make his face known to them, in case he came too close upon them. He knew the name of the place and that was enough. The only question was now, what to do first. These people couldn't apparate and if he would be able to contact some wizards, they would definitely have an advantage. The problem was, he couldn't just apparate to the Ministry to speak to Harry. True, he had that telephone number which could be used by squibs to contact somebody in the Ministry if they had an emergency. But you couldn't ring the Ministry directly. Usually the person on the other end was a witch or wizard on duty who had a telephone at home and from there would contact the Ministry. But that would mean to spread information about their secret mission unnecessarily. The only other person he would be able to ring up was Remus.

He had talked Remus into buying a mobile phone to be able to reach him in situations like these. Although he didn't want to lose too much time, he didn't want to make the same mistake as the two men. Therefore he went out of the department store to chose a more populated area in order not to be overheard too easily. Outside, the impatient former Potions master had a bit of a struggle until he got Remus' number out of the address directory of the muggle device which was still a strange concept to him. He was hoping that Remus wasn't at the Ministry at the moment, as mobile phones, as most muggle apparatus, didn't work there.

Judging from his sleepy and hoarse voice, Severus was quite sure he had woken up the werewolf, so he was probably at home. Unusual at that time of the day, but Severus had a rough idea that the full moon was approaching, and Remus was perhaps already suffering from the beginnings of a migraine. Severus didn't know the moon chart by heart. Maybe he should, as he was working with Remus so closely, but as the whole werewolf matter wasn't something Severus wanted to be reminded of constantly, he suppressed thinking of it most of the time and let Remus decide if and when he was fit for their little spying missions. In that respect, Severus had come to trust Remus.

'What? Oh it's you, Severus. What do you want?'

'I've come across some muggles who were talking about some 'magic stuff'. I'm quite sure they've got something to do with our case.'

'So? … Are you sure?' the werewolf answered reluctantly. 'And what do you expect me to do now? he drawled uncharacteristically.

'Well, I'd need someone to apparate me there quickly. It's a strange place. Have you ever heard of a certain Little Willow-on-the-Whisp?'

'No.' There was a long pause after that and Severus wasn't sure if Remus was still there.

'What is it, Remus? Are you going to come, or not? That's our chance!' He tried desperately to convey some of his enthusiasm onto his partner, but that didn't seem to be an easy job.

'Uhm. … If you think it's that important. … But I'll have to use a map. It's difficult, if you don't know exactly where you are going. … Okay then, I'm coming.' He sighed.

'Remus! Wait.'

'What now?'

'You don't know where I am, do you?'

'Uh… no. Right. Where are you?' There was a strain in Remus' voice which raised a certain doubt in Severus if they should really proceed with his plan, but he was already so obsessed with this idea of a genuine track, …  and what if this proved to be their only chance after they had probed the fog for months?

'Piccadilly Circus in five minutes. That'll be so crowded, nobody will notice you apparating there.'

Severus didn't hear any answer from Remus. The noise around him had increased and prevented any further communication. He could only hope that the werewolf had understood his directions. In order not to miss his partner at the meeting point, he hurried in the said direction, already scanning his surroundings for Remus. He stopped near a newspaper stall and pretended to look at the papers, but observed the street out of the corner of his eyes. He needn't have taken this precaution, though. It was a cold winter day, people who hurried past were muffled in coats and shawls, they wouldn't have noticed him anyway.

'Little Willow what's it's name?' a voice right behind him made him start.

'Remus! Really!'

'Well, here I am. I couldn't find it on my map. As I've told you, without any idea where to go it will become quite difficult.'

'They said it was northwest of London.'

'Just great. If you cannot give more precise directions, I'm afraid … '

'Let me see, here is the index.' Severus perused the register of the place and street names while Remus was leaning against the railing of a staircase, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

'There is a river or rather a little brook by the name of 'Whisp' northwest from here, would that do? Maybe we can try to get closer once we are there.' Severus looked up hopefully at the werewolf.

'You've got ideas.' Remus rolled his eyes, but took a step nearer to have a look at the map where Severus indicated what he thought was the right place with his forefinger.

'Yes. I'll have a go. But don't blame me if I happen to splinch us. Now then, relax.' 

Saying this, he gripped Severus' right hand. Instead of relaxing, the former Potion's master stiffened, because he wasn't looking forward to what would come now. He had always hated being apparated by other wizards. Naturally, this hadn't been a problem as soon as he had been old enough to be allowed to apparate himself. As a child, his family had always avoided to apparate him, because he usually had become sick in the process. Fearing the apparating sickness, Severus took a deep breath to prepare himself. Splinching wouldn't be a problem, though. It would, if two wizards made the mistake to apparate together letting their magic powers work in opposite directions. If you planned to apparate in pairs you had to let one wizard take the lead for the process. That was why Remus had told him to relax. But there was no magic left in him to work against Remus' magic force which would bring them to Merlin knew where.

They apparated next to a narrow road in a small wood. This was good for Severus whose knees didn't feel as if they would support him much longer. He leaned against the next tree and closed his eyes. It didn't help much. Everything seemed to move, expecially in his head and he couldn't prevent retching.

'What now? Severus? … Oh no. Apparating-sickness? If I had known … '

'We would've taken the bus?' Severus cut in, still breathing heavily, but he had got his balance back, and the nausea was fading away slowly.

'Right. Do you see the road sign over there? 'Little Willow-on-the-Whisp' is that the place we are looking for?'

Severus turned in the direction Remus was indicating but was suddenly gripped by his coat and pulled back behind one of the bigger trees by the werewolf.

'I can hear a car coming. Might be them,' the latter explained his action.

Severus hadn't heard anything, but he wasn't a werewolf after all, he had to trust his partner in that respect. And indeed, after a minute or so a car came speeding up the otherwise deserted road.

'Shall we walk after them, or do you want to apparate once more?' Severus couldn't help noticing that Remus looked a little amused.

'5 miles? Don't be ridiculous. Apparating sickness is nothing you die of, you know. Let's go,' he answered the smirking werewolf.

'Very well then, one more go.' Remus seemed to have changed his attitude completely by now, his behaviour indicating that he was quite keen on their mission.

-----

They apparated near a farm which looked as if it had been deserted for years. They had not much time to lose, as they were in the uncomfortable position to have arrived before their suspects. Remus took the lead again and dragged Severus, who was again showing symptoms deriving from their means of travelling, towards some shrubs from where they would be able to oversee the drive and front of the main house.

Naturally, Severus had the same problems as before. Everything around seemed to turn, therefore he tried to hold on to something, which in this case, turned out to be Remus. The werewolf pushed him down into the shrubs while Severus fought his uprising nausea by breathing in and out deeply and regularly.

'Don't make any noise, they're quite close,' Remus demanded.

'Oh, shut up,' Severus managed to hiss between taking deep breaths struggling against the urge to throw up.

'They're vanishing round the corner. Come on let's go.'

Before Severus could protest, Remus had grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled the former Potions master, who was quite surprised by this turn of the action, after him. By now, he had recovered enough to participate again, but he had thought they would at least talk about a kind of plan, not act out of instinct. But as this seemed to be the method the werewolf preferred, and he had also made clear who was going to take the lead in this, Severus had no choice. 

After all, Remus was the wizard with the wand, and he wasn't armed at all. For a moment, while he was following Remus who was creeping towards the house carefully, Severus contemplated the question if it had been wise to do this without a weapon. He could have had a muggle firearm or the like. Well, they weren't supposed to come in contact with their suspects, weren't they? Strictly speaking, Harry's direction would include not to creep upon suspicious muggles in a remote place, as well. That couldn't be denied. So any kind of weapon would be handy in a case of emergency, especially in a place where help was far … Severus felt completely helpless in this situation without his magic. Just when he had made up his mind to talk to Remus about this (well, not that he was afraid, because he wasn't, but that it would probably be wiser to retreat a bit and watch from a bit farther away), the werewolf suddenly stopped and Severus nearly bumped into him.

'Umph. Sorry.'

'Shush. I want to hear what they are talking about.'

Another advantage his companion had, with his enhanced hearing abilities. Severus didn't want to disturb him now. Maybe these people were just about to discuss something relevant.

They were both sitting close against the wall, near a corner of the house. Remus was in front of the two, crouching on the floor, but very tense, wand in hand, as if ready for anything that might come. Severus strained to hear something, but the only thing he was able to get from that conversation between the muggles were parts of words which seemed to drift around the corner, nothing coherent.

That made him even more uncomfortable. He felt his heart speeding up, the sound drowning anything which he could have possibly heard from the muggles. Just when Severus thought the tension was unbearable, action came, but unsuspected and from behind.

'And who are you? Sneaking around, huh? Hands up!' an unfriendly voice bellowed.

Severus whirled around, taking his hands up (he was actually a bit surprised about that, but it was probably the many muggle films he had seen which caused this reaction from him). The man Severus hadn't seen as belonging to the group they had spied upon before, was wearing an expensive looking dark suit and, more important, holding a gun.

Remus reacted shortly after him. Severus couldn't tell if the werewolf had turned around as well or if he had taken his arms up. He felt stunned from the surprise and wouldn't have dared to turn and look at his companion. The only thing Severus realized was that Remus moved behind him, the next thing he would remember afterwards was that he heard the man's gun going off and that Remus collapsed right in front of him, clutching his left leg. While the beginning of the whole scene seemed to have happened very fast, he felt as if he watched these last scenes in a kind of slow motion.

'What happened, Alec? What is it. Strangers?? Are they police?' Several voices could be heard shouting. Three muggles came around the corner, Severus recognized two of them by their voices from their conversation in the public bathroom.

Severus watched in horror while Remus lay groaning in front of his feet, pressing his hands on his thigh were the bullet had hit. Blood was seeping through his hands so that a dark stain could be seen on his jeans. When Severus made to bend down to assist him in any possible way, the man with the dark suit barked at him not to move, waving around his gun nervously. More than ever the former Potions master felt a rage rising inside him because of his helplessness. Even if he had brought a muggle firearm, it wouldn't have helped much as they had been taken by surpise. No, a proper wand and a quick spell would have solved their problem easily. Well, maybe not so easy, but they wouldn't be left in this dangerous situation. They wouldn't be in this situation if Severus hadn't been so bend on meeting some real criminals, in the first place, Severus recalled desparately while he had to watch the suffering werewolf helplessly. His trousers were partly soaked in blood already.

Just when he felt that he had come out of his shocked state a bit and that it would be worth a try to begin a conversation with their opponents, he was grabbed from behind violently.

'Come on, let's go,' the person behind him demanded, pushing him forward. He could also feel something hard which was prodded in his back and which was probably another gun. Because he had been so distracted by Remus, he hadn't been able to hear what had been discussed and what these people were planning to do with them. 

He stumbled forward, relententlessly pushed and now even held by his arms by another person. Behind him, he could hear Remus yelp out in pain. They were obviously dragging him along. When they reached the house, the stopped shortly and Severus pockets were searched. He realised, that they took his mobile phone away and by the crunching noise he heard behind him he guessed that they had broken it. Then they all went down some steps into a kind of cellar. Before he could wonder what was going to happen, he was being pushed roughly a last time and couldn't help but land on the concrete floor. From the sound Remus made, Severus could guess that he was right beside him. It was pitch dark in the room at first, especially after their 'guides' had slammed the door shut. The turning of a key could be heard. The voices of the men who had brought them down here receded and it would have become silent, if not for Remus who groaned loudly.

Severus didn't move for a moment. While he was trying to gather his thoughts he meant to hear the sound of a motor outside. Car doors were being shut and the decreasing sound of the machine indicated that somebody was driving away.

After a minute, Severus eyes, who were used to unlit surroundings, had adapted to the dark. There was also a small window high up in the wall which was giving a bit of light. He sat himself up. Remus was lying next to him and didn't move.

'Remus?' he touched him lightly on the shoulder. Another groan was the only answer Severus got.

'Well, I'm going to try to stop the bleeding all right? Although I might not be able to do it very expertly. And … it will certeinly hurt even more.' 

The injured werewolf still didn't answer but Severus had no choice but to begin. Typically, magical first aid spells sprang to his mind, which he couldn't make use of. Instead, he shed his winter cloak and started undressing his jacket, shirt and undershirt, as this would be the only way to get some material for bandages.

Luckily, Remus' jeans were quite worn, so Severus was able to rip the fabric further apart where the bullet had produced a small hole into the material. He then ripped his shirt and somehow managed to fabricate a compression bandage. Remus cried out when he started to pull it close.

'I'm sorry, but there is no other way.'

When he had finished fixing the bandage on Remus's leg he took his jacket and put it on again. It was quite cold down there, which wasn't a surprise, being in the middle of winter.

'You'll soon wish … that you hadn't … done this,' Remus gasped, hardly audible.

Severus looked at his injured companion questioningly.

'You surely must know what day - or … should I better say … night it will be … tonight?'

Severus took a deep breath. Somehow he had expected that, given by the werewolf's earlier behaviour. He should have known, but it was too late now. He told himself not to panic, because this situation needn't necessarily lead to a catastrophy. For once, there was the wolfsbane potion, which was, as far as Severus was concerned, one of the more important achievements of modern potion brewing.

'Well, I suspected it, but I wasn't sure. Now that you mention it, it's the full moon, isn't it? I am not going to pretend that I am looking forward to this … this uhm experience. But surely, under the wolfsbane, you will have everything under control, won't you? I will certainly be terrified, but that isn't going to kill me, Remus.' He tried to sound as if he was quite sure of himself, not so much to present himself as fearless towards Remus, because he would look through that anyway, but to convince himself that there was no real danger …

'If … if … I had … taken it.'

This information struck Severus like a blow. Remus Lupin, the most careful werewolf who was always so concerned about other people's safety, Remus Lupin, the werewolf streetworker who was working for the Ministry had forgotten to take the wolfsbane potion? The only known remedy which could make the difference between a raging bloodthirsty beast and a tame predator? 

He felt as if ice was filling him up from inside, his heartbeat speeding up. Remus had closed his eyes and lay motionless. Slowly, Severus got up from where he had sat near the werewolf. He recoiled from him in horror, his knees shaking.

He went backwards until his back met the wall. All his instincts told him to run. As this wasn't possible, panic was taking over. He could sense how his adrenaline level rose, a rushing sound was building up increasingly in his ears, as if shortly before fainting. He realized that his hands were trying to get a grip on the wall he was leaning against, but he had no real control over his movements. It was like watching from the outside. When the pressure became to much he just lost it and shouted at the injured man who was lying on the concrete floor looking more like a heap of misery and not as if he would transform into one of the most dangerous magical animals in no time.

'YOU WHAT??? … YOU … DID … NOT … TAKE IT? … REMUS LUPIN!!!  I HAVE TRUSTED YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME? … I MUST HAVE BEEN MAD. I TRUSTED THE MAN WHO ONCE NEARLY KILLED ME!!!  WELL DONE!… THIS TIME IT IS GOING TO WORK! JUST BRILLIANT!

He had become so hysterical that his voice reverberated shrilly from the walls. But as violent as this verbal outburst had been, it was over within a minute, as it had taken all energy out of him causing his knees to give way. Before he could collapse he managed to let himself glide down onto the floor.

'So, this time … all my nightmares will come true,' he was whispering hoarsly now, panting. He slung his arms around his knees and put his face on them, his favourite position when in distress and normally a good means if he attempted to get control over himself again.

After a few minutes, Severus felt that not only his breath was becoming something like normal, but also that thinking was possible again. Maybe not all was lost. For once, there was the possibility that the muggles would come back and let them out, or … perhaps somebody else would free them? Who, Severus, who?  he scolded himself. Nobody, not even Harry knew where they could possibly be. They had acted like bloody amateurs, like schoolboys who played detective. So, that was obviously no option. But they should try to free themselves, at least a try couldn't hurt, he decided. Well, it would certainly be painful for Remus, because Severus would need a wizard to open that door. Even if nothing worked, he had to try everything he could think of, he couldn't sit here and wait until … .

He shuddered and got up, walking back over to Remus who hadn't moved since he had said that desastrous sentence.

'Remus! Where is your wand? Even if you are injured, you should be able to perform a spell which should help us to get out of here.' He touched Remus at the shoulder, because he wasn't sure if he was conscious or not. Remus flinched at that as if he expected being beaten by a furious Severus. But then he answered, timidly.

'Must have lost it when … when I was shot.'

'Great. Let's try something else then. What about your wandless magic?'

'Sorry to disappoint you. I … I have never been very good .. at that. It has also got to …to do with my lycanthropy.' He suppressed a groan and took a few deep breaths before he spoke again.

'But I will do anything to help .. I promise … I will try hard …'

'Well, there are not many options, are there?' Severus was talking harsher than he had intended to. He didn't hate Remus, not even after this fatal error, but indifferent behaviour and speech had always been one of his favourite means to control his own panic when in difficulties. 

'I suggest that we try an Alohomora charm on the door, because that would be a simple one. I will carry you over there, right?'

He didn't wait for an answer, though, but gripped Remus under his arms and pulled him up. But there was no way the werewolf would stand or even walk the short distance, therefore Severus let him down again. Instead, he dragged him towards the door which must have been as uncomfortable for Remus, but he didn't complain. When they had reached the door Remus placed his hands over the lock while Severus was holding him upright. After a short moment of concentration he spoke the incantation, but nothing happened. They tried again, and again, but the door didn't react in even the smallest way. 

Severus had somehow feared that this would happen. If Remus was a wizard with only limited abilities regarding wandless magic, and that wasn't unusual even for strong wizards, he was even more handicapped by his injury which would interfere with his whole system, the chance that they would have got out this way had been very limited beforehand. Health was an important factor when it came to the magic flow in the body. As Remus' health would rather deteriorate within the next time, using magical means were obviously out of question. 

Having accepted that fact, Severus dragged Remus back from the door without any comment and eased him down on the floor again. When he noticed that the werwolf was shivering, he took his coat he had discarded before taking off his other clothes and wrapped him into it. That was about all he could do for him. Without any magic at their hands, they could give up any plans about leaving this place in time.

'All right, as this is obviously not going to work, we have to think of something else. Let's try an academic approach, shall we?' Severus tone had shifted towards sarcastic which was always a bad sign, mostly when he was becoming desperate. 'We'll have to collect everything we know about werewolves. There is the slight possibility that that will lead us towards some solution … and if not, … well then it will help to keep our minds busy,' he stated dryly.

'Ask me anything you can think of. … I'll tell you everything … if it helps,' Remus offered with a strained voice. Severus knew from their shared experience at Hogwarts and in the Order, that one reason for Remus being good at Defence was that he was an exceptionally strong wizard. Strong enough to endure all sorts of pain. Therefore he could only guess hwo much the werewolf was suffering at the moment. But he couldn't spare him the following conversation. He also felt the need to talk to him and tell him that it wasn't all his fault alone, but how to begin?

'Look, Remus. Just to let you know, I think it was also partly my doing which led us into this. I should have known the date, and if I hadn't been so blind because I was so obsessed with the idea to finally achieve something in our mission … '

'No, Severus. I am the werewolf. As such, I am responsible for everything. I should have never come. When you called, I thought it was still early and I would be back in time, and then I forgot about the wolfsbane potion. Werewolves are only tolerated by wizarding society as long as they live and behave as is stated in the Code of Conduct for werewolves, meaning to prevent any danger coming from the beast. I have failed in that respect. It's unforgivable.' Remus was whispering and breathing heavily during his little speech.

'Right. If you say so.' Severus cleared his throat several times, before he went on. 'Well, I think, everybody has a right to make a fault or wrong decision, and if I should ever come out of this alive, I might even forgive you, but at the moment, nothing of this is going to help us. I would like to gather some information. Maybe that will give us an idea … ' He tried to sound hopefully.

'How big … I mean … as a wolf … how big would you be?' As soon as he was touching the very subject, Severus became so unsure of his voice which was developing a tremor now, that he only whispered.

'If you remember me back from … the Shrieking Shack … well, I wasn't fully grown then.'

Severus shuddered. This information clearly wasn't what he needed just right now. He knew, of course, that werewolves were slightly bigger than normal wolves. He knew natural wolves from his visits to the zoo when he had tried to become used to the sight of these animals. Naturally, he did remember that night all too well and Remus had been very large …

'And is there … any weak spot a werewolf has? … Any part of the body which  would be more …. vulnerable than others … anything … I could …' attack he had wanted to say, but was unable to finish the sentence. To speak out loud that he was going to fight a genuine werewolf was just unthinkable.

'Let me think … the belly? … Yes, the belly would be a good spot. … If you had a knife…'

'But I'm not so lucky to have one. And I am certainly not planning to bend down and present my neck to the beast to get under his belly!' Severus cut in impatiently and harsher than he had intended to. If I had a knife, I would probably cut my wrists to die before you transform, he thought.

'No, you're right.' Remus kept his eyes closed, his face was contorted in pain.

For some time, there was silence, only disturbed by Remus' laboured breathing. Severus doubted that his enquiries would lead to anything he could use, but he had to keep his mind busy to prevent himself from turning mad. And, perhaps, he could give Remus the impression that he was a bit in control over their unfortunate situation. No, there he was certainly wrong. Remus knew as well as himself that the whole thing would be hopeless. What they were doing right now was to play a game of question and answer to avoid thinking of the inevitable.

As these thoughts caused panic rising again in Severus, he tried to force his mind back to thinking. He probed his memory for anything remotely associated with werewolves.

'The nose.' Severus suddenly said.

'What?'

'What about a werewolf's nose, Remus? I've read somewhere - but the source wasn't a very trustworthy one, I'm afraid - that the nose is very sensitive and also vulnerable. Would that be a weak point?'

'Yes, that's true,' Remus was only whipsering now. 'Where did you read that?'

'Uhm. … Lockhart'.

'As a former Defence teacher, I know his books, Severus. It's not all nuisance and made up. At least not the information he got from other wizards who really did experience what he wrote down.' 

This rather long speech had clearly been too much for Remus in his situation. He closed his eyes and sighed. Severus made a helpless attempt to make him more comfortable, knowing that there wasn't really much he could do. He tried to wrap his coat around the werewolf more closely and converted one of the sleeves to a kind of cushion he then put under Remus' head.

'I know that, Remus. But I'm sure you know about everything he did at Hogwarts. I bet, Harry has told you everything. He was such a nuisance, and really, trying to obliviate students … ' He shook his head.

'Did he act the same way around the teachers as he did in class or with students?' Remus seemed to have recovered a bit, but he spoke very low and his voice sounded hoarse. 'I only know him from Harry's perspective. And that didn't sound very promising.'

'Well, now. I could tell you all sorts of more or less weird things about that man. Not to mention his teaching methods … well, everybody has his faults in this discipline … but what annoyed me most during his time at Hogwarts was, that he always tried to skip his nightwatch shift. Almost every time when it was his turn to make rounds, he found some excuse to avoid it. Most of the time it was headaches. For some reason, he always came to me for a headache potion.'

'Well, maybe he was afraid of Poppy. She could be very strict,' Remus cut in. 'And from experience, as you well know, I do feel with people who suffer from headaches.'

'More afraid of Poppy than of me? I can't remember ever being friendly towards him, you know. And headaches always on the night of his shift? I have my doubts about that. The point was, that I was almost always available at the castle, meaning that in most cases I was the only one who would be there to do his shift when he was ill. And that wasn't the worst. He seemed to have expecially chosen me for conversation whenever we met. Always talking about his books and how clever he was. I was almost under the impression that he did it to test how far my patience would last. Anyway, one day I got enough of this sharade of his and gave him … Oh, I'm sorry, that must be quite tiring for you.' 

He looked down at Remus and also gave his injured leg a quick look to check if the bleeding had really stopped. Fortunately, there were no new traces of fresh blood. The makeshift bandage seemed to do its work.

'No, please, go on.' Remus answered, almost pleading. 'I'm glad for any distraction.'

'Very well then. As I said, one day I had enough and gave him a combination of headache and silencing potion, causing him to become dumb for some time.'

'You did? Really?' Remus face seemed to have lit up a little by Severus story. 'Cool ... You, playing a prank on Gilderoy Lockhart. Poisoning a fellow teacher … What a pity that Harry will never now about that.' Severus thought he could even detect a small smile on the werewolf's painstricken face.

'Thank you. I take that as a compliment. But it didn't do me any good. Naturally, he panicked when he realized that he had suddenly lost his voice. He wrote a note to Albus, saying that he wouldn't be able to do his nightly round in that state - meaning, of course, without being able to cry for help. He got his voice back in the morning, of course, I'm not that mean, you know. But he persuaded Albus that he wouldn't be able to do any night watches in the future as well, because of his nerves. Guess who was the lucky one who got additional night shifts … . Maybe it was as well. I don't think the castle would have been very safe with him on the watch. But I also think that Albus had found out about my little prank and wanted to punish me. He was quite tightlipped for some time after that incident.'

'Knowing Albus, I am quite sure that privately, he had a good laugh.'

'Maybe. But as much as you seem to enjoy my performance as a storyteller, Remus, this is not going to help us out of this unfortunate situation. May I ask how you are at the moment. How is your leg?'

'Just don't ask.' Remus sighed, trying, unsuccessfully though, to suppress a groan.

'Right. Back to our strategy then.' Severus tried to sound cheerfully, as if they were about to discuss some academic problem at lunch break, but he was afraid that he wasn't very convincing. Telling the story hadn't been a problem, but as soon as they were back on their subject, he couldn't keep his voice completely free from trembling.

'Wait,' Remus suddenly cut in Severus' line of thinking, 'what about your mobile phone? You had it with you when you phoned me at home, didn't you?'

'They took mine and destroyed it.' 

'As far as know, mine must be still inside my jacket. If you will have a look.'

Suddenly new hope was beginning to form inside Severus. How could he have forgotten to ask Remus that first thing? The reason was simple. He was a wizard, and no matter how used you got to muggle devices, in desperate situations like these, a wizard would always think of magical means for rescue at first.

Eager to see if Remus' was right, he bend over him and lifted him gently, not to cause him any more pain than necessary. He found the phone quickly, but was soon deeply disappointed. What could have turned out as their last straw to help them out of this place wasn't working.

'It's dead,' he said in a low voice.

'I remember now. The batteries had been very low already when you called. Sorry' Remus whispered. 'Whom were you planning to call anyway, Severus? Harry hasn't got a phone nor at his office nor at home and as far as I know no mobile one, either.'

'There is an emergency number for squibs you can call. It will be passed on to the Ministry. But as this will be of no use to us now …' Severus took a few deep breaths before he could go on. This sudden glimpse of hope which had been shattered so brutally was worse than if they hadn't have Remus' phone at all in the first place. He had a hard time not to show his disappointment too much when he ventured further on his orginal line of thought.

'Would your injury play a role … in your behaviour? Would … would it alter it's behaviour or even … weaken the … the wolf?'

'Werewolves act in no way as normal animals would. But you know that already, Severus. Their only goal, if you assume that their behaviour is directed by something like planning or rational 'thinking' which is certainly not the case, but anyway, … what they want is to kill, nothing else. It doesn't matter whom they kill or how many or why. It is not known if they are doing it because they are hungry. I guess that there must be a kind of bloodthirst involved, but … you see, it's difficult, because you cannot ask a transformed werewolf, and afterwards we don't have memories of what we've possibly done. … I do feel a kind of pulling in the hours before the transformation, though, even when I've taken the wolfsbane potion. A general urge to run … , but I wouldn't describe it as 'hunting fever' or something like that …'

Exhausted, Remus closed his eyes, trying to calm his breathing. Severus felt uneasy. He didn't want to cause Remus more distress than he was already in, but he was still desperately hoping that by the information the werewolf could give they would find some kind of solution.

Trying to spare Remus the talking part, Severus began to summarize his own knowledge, letting the werewolf confirm.

'So, a normal wolf would flee from humans, even if it was hungry, because they only hunt in packs or go for smaller prey. If the animal was injured, it would flee as well, and only attack when it couldn't run away, like in our case. But all this doesn't count for a werewolf, right?'

Remus nodded. 'The only way would be … to kill the beast, or … if you're a wizard, … to stun it.'

Severus sighed. 'Would the werewolf be ready to act right away after the transformation is complete?'

'Depends. I think, I usually need a minute or so. … Severus?'

Severus hadn't looked at Remus during the last sentences. Somehow he couldn't bear to look at this face anymore which showed so much pain and would transform in no time. There was also the smell of blood mingling with the mouldy atmophere in the room which made him nauseous. Since he had learnt about Remus' shortcoming, his heartrate had never slowed down back to normal again. 

'Severus?'

He looked in Remus' direction who was looking back at him with wide eyes, tears streaming over his contorted face.

'Ddd … don't give it too much room to … to act, Severus. If you want to fight, …don't wait … until … until … it jumps … at … you.' He was sobbing now. 

This was too bad. Severus felt really sick now. It was so hard to watch the man in distress in front of him, that he wished something would happen, and be it the most feared, if only it would be over soon. The waiting was driving him more and more into despair.

'I'm sorry,' Remus went on, 'I know … there is no excuse ….'

'It's not all your fault, but I think we've had that discussion already. If it makes things easier for you … I  … well as I've said before, I cannot say that I don't blame you, but let's say I forgive you, Remus.'

'Thanks. … It was nice to have met you.'

Remus closed his eyes again. Even in the dim light, Severus was able to see the man's tears leaving dark stains on the concrete floor.

'Pleasure.' 

Severus took Remus' hand and squeezed it. Then he sat back against the wall and waited. Remus didn't speak anymore and it didn't look as if he would at all. He had stopped crying and for Severus it seemed as if the werewolf was asleep. Maybe he was unconscious, he couldn't tell. From time to time he took a closer look to make sure that he was breathing at all. Frankly, the easiest thing for both of them would be if he just died.

But that was obviously not going to happen. Severus had no idea how long they had been in that room or how much time they had spent talking. It had been early afternoon when they had left London. It was winter and had become dark during their conversation. He hadn't bothered to look at his watch. What for? The only thing which counted at the moment was the moon.

It finally rose, sending a bit more light through the little opening in the wall. Remus suddenly stirred and then started to scream. It was so terrible that Severus had the feeling of his blood curdling in his veins. He sat frozen, watching the man transform helplessly.

As far as Severus could tell, it took several minutes before the animal form emerged. It was then, that Remus' screaming changed to a howling which wasn't any better for Severus' nerves, but it finally caused him to act.

'Don't give it too much room' Remus had said.

Before the transformation was complete, he had made his decision …

####

A/N:

All right, this was quite hard to write. It's probably also too dramatic or too long? Let me know.

Okay, I know it's probably a bit weak, letting Severus forget when the next full moon was, but as I said, I think he always tries not to think about it. And in this situation he was very excited too, seeing some success with their mission within reach. Also, as the werewolf, it would clearly have been Remus business either not to come or to take the potion beforehand. In his case he is, of course, already affected by the oncoming transformation and, on the other hand, he is also quite taken by their new track. So clear thinking, although generally a strong character trait of the two, is made impossible in this situation.

I also let them act a bit naïve when they went after the muggles, because I think despite their frequent observation sessions of muggles they have no idea about their criminal ways.


	11. 11 The real nightmare

11 The real nightmare 

A/N: I have altered chapter 10 a bit because I noticed that I didn't mention anything about the mobile phones and didn't make clear that the muggles have left the place. I've fixed that now, just in case some of you were still hoping that their would be a way for the two, or at least Severus, to get out of the cellar before the moon would rise …

They will certainly have a hard time, but for those of you who are worried too much about Severus' and Remus' lives: this is to confirm that no real wizards or werewolves have come to harm during the process of writing '-)

---

He jumped on the beast, straddling it before it could react itself in any way. At the same time he hit it's nose with his right fist with all his might. That caused the werewolf to be dazzled for a moment and luckily, it didn't show any signs to react, so Severus had time to take a closer look at his opponent. Not that this was a moment to calm down. Severus thought that he had never experienced his heart beating that fast. He was actually wondering if he could get a heart attack or at least faint from that strain. He felt slightly dizzy already. If so, he hoped that he would die before the wolf could get at him. To experience being ripped to death by a werewolf helplessly was the worst he could ever imagine. But for now the animal was out cold.

Remus as a wolf was indeed huge, as he had expected, and of course, much bigger than a natural wolf. The beast would have been even more impressive if it had been standing, but it was frightening enough as it was, lying on it's back. Severus didn't dare to look around to get an impression of the other half of the beast.

There were a lot of strange facts about werewolves. When they transformed, the clothes the person was wearing, disappeared. When the werewolf changed back to it's human form, the clothes were back on. Sometimes they were damaged in the process (that was why Remus didn't have a big wardrobe and the clothing he owned was quite worn and often mended). Injuries like the one Remus had would stay because they were connected to the body, the bandage would have been gone. Also, if Severus would have tied Remus up before the transformation, ropes or anything else would have vanished.

Come to think of it, if he had the proper material for that cause of action, Severus could try to tie him now, but he hadn't anything he could do it with. He could perhaps use his trousers to bind the hindlegs for example, but he wasn't sure if that would be strong enough to hold the beast down and, what was more, he would be forced to change his position and leave the wolf unattended, even if only for a second. And that was clearly out of the question.

The fur was a grey/brown with darker patches at the shoulders and the face. It wasn't exactly what you would call ugly. To the contrary. Apart from the terrifying teeth and its enormous size (and if it had been in a zoo behind bars), it was an impressive animal.

Severus hadn't any more time to look closer, because suddenly, without warning, it came back to life and snapped viciously. Before Severus could react properly, the wolf had caught his right wrist.

Panic arose in him. It didn't hurt as much as he would have suspected, but that was probably due to the high adrenaline level he was surely having at the moment. Clear thinking was eluding him and the vertigo became worse. He couldn't even see properly as a spell of colours was suddenly impairing his sight. He didn't want that. He didn't want to get killed that way. He had to do something. Severus, think. Breathe … With an effort he couldn't explain himself he lunged at the werewolf's nose with his left fist. He missed the first time, but hit the second and several times more. Finally, the beast let go of his wrist and became lifeless under him again.

Blood was oozing from the bite wound but not much. This was typical for werewolf bites. You didn't die by bleeding to death after a werewolf attack (if you weren't killed directly in the first place). The animal's saliva had a blood clotting effect.

Severus was well aware that with this bite, he would be sharing Remus' fate from now on. But this didn't matter at the time. He could worry about that later, if there was a later.

The wolf was stirring again and this time Severus got a chance to react before the beast did. Again, he hit it hard on the nose until he could feel the animal becoming slack under him.

During the actual moment he had to defend himself, Severus knew that if he had had a kind of weapon, he wouldn't have minded killing the beast. Although he would never forget that there was a real person behind this horrible animal, someone he knew and he had actually begun to like, as soon as the wolf opened his eyes, all that counted was not to get killed. Remus wouldn't feel anything about it anyway, as werewolves who weren't under the wolfsbane potion weren't conscious of what they were doing. But he didn't have a weapon, and he wasn't sure if he was strong enough to kill it with his bare hands. If need be … but if the nose hitting tactic### worked he wouldn't try anything else.

The was blood on the wolf's face as well as on Severus' hands. He couldn't tell which was which. The bite on his arm was still bleeding a little. Severus felt very cold by now. His clothes were damp from his sweat and the atmosphere of the room chilled him to the bone. He looked at his watch to get an idea what time it was, or, better, to know how long this ordeal was probably going to last. To get a proper look on the face of his watch he had to wipe away blood which was already encrusted.

Three 'o clock. His heart sank. It was winter and it would be some time before the sun would rise and put and end to the moon bound spell. The strain he had been under for a few hours was showing now. He was beginning to feel weak and tired. He couldn't afford to give up at this point, not now after he had experienced what seemed to him the worst part of his life.

When the wolf woke another time, Severus had to pay for being unattentive for a second. This time, his other arm was caught. The sudden pain brought him back to action, though, and he managed to hit the wolf to unconsciousness again. It seemed to Severus that it's agression was receding a bit. Maybe he was imagining things, but after all that hitting, couldn't it be possible that the animal became weaker?

Also, the intervals before the wolf woukd wake up again seemed to become longer. Maybe, maybe there was an end to be seen somewhere. But before that happy moment there were several more times he had to hit the beast back to unconsciousness. After some time he was beginning to do it in a kind of automatic reaction, without noticing much. Naturally, by now Severus also felt quite worn out and was afraid that he wouldn't be able to hold it up much longer.

Then, the dizziness and the colours were rising in him again. Damn, only a few hours (how long, actually he didn't know) more, don't give in, Severus, he told himself, took deep breaths and shook his head in an attempt to clear his sight by this action.

The wolf opened it's eyes once again, but didn't snap. It only blinked and made a strange noise like a whine. Severus stared at the beast, concentrating hard, his fist raised. Nothing happened.

This situation turned out to be even more stressful as if the wolf had actually attacked. Severus continued staring, waiting for the smallest hint that the beast would finally do anything. It didn't. Just stared back. Then it started whining again. This eerie sound made Severus shiver. He literally felt how his strenght was dwindling away, his whole body stiff and sore from the long hours he had spent cramped and sweating on top of the werewolf. Still nothing was happening.

He had lost totally track of time, but it seemed as if it became slightly lighter outside, but maybe he was already hallucinating. Then, the face of the beast seemed to change, became softer and looked, as if it was about to melt. Severus blinked. Of course, if you stared to long at an object, it would finally appear to be changing.

But no, this was the beginning of the retransformation. The beast under him really was starting to change it's form. Two things sprang to Severus' mind at once (he was surprised how he was able to actually think after all that, to gather a clear thought). Firstly, he was wondering if the animal could still be dangerous to him during transformation. He decided that that could hardly be the case, as this process was so complex that it usually took all the power out of an organism. The second thought was that if the werewolf was changing back into Remus, he wouldn't be dead. He had been wondering about that. The beasts staring had appeared to be quite lifeless at the end, and Severus hadn't been able to feel a heartbeat.

He decided that it was definitely time to leave his uncomfortable place and give Remus room and probably some privacy for the change. But this turned out to be difficult. Severus was so stiff, his legs and arms felt so heavy that he was hardly able to move, let alone stand up and walk away. After struggling a bit with his jelly-like knees he finally gave up and let himself fall unto his side, then rolled of the animal.

The following wave of relief washed over him quite unexpectantly. It was so strong and Severus certainly hadn't anything of his strength left to fight his passing out. Actually, he didn't want to. He didn't want to know what would happen in the next minutes only two feet away from him.

-------

When Severus woke again, some light was coming in from outside. So the sun must have got up in the meantime. No, he couldn't relate the dim light to a sun, because a sun, even in winter, would have meant a bit of warmth. And he was definitely colder and his muscles more stiff and sore than before. The clammy clothes were clinging to his body uncomfortably. But still, he tried to get his mind working again. He was well aware that the problems weren't over with the full moon passed. They were still in this bloody room without any help and he had to deal with a werewolf after transformation who was even more injured than before. And he couldn't do anything to change this. How he hated that. he really had enough now, didn't want to be bothered. He felt pity for himself. Had had been bitten, hadn't he? He was going to be a werewolf soon (well, not if they were forced to stay in this place), and nobody was feeling sorry for him. His thoughts were beginning to spin in a circle. Just before he could become really desperate, he heard Remus groan behind him.

There was no way. He had to face him. Tell him that he hadn't killed him. That was, in fact, the only thing he would be able to do for his companion. Slowly, and with some difficulty, he sat up and turned around. As he didn't think that he could trust his legs he crouched over to Remus who was in a terrible state indeed. Even in the half light Severus was able to see that the werewolf's face was encrusted with blood, the nose broken several times. he was breathing heavily.

'Remus? Can you hear me?' Severus reminded himself to keep his voice low as not to cause his companion more distress by hurting him through his sensitive hearing. He bent down and whispered, hardly audible, in Remus' ear.

'Remus, listen. We are still in a mess being locked in in this cellar, but there's also good news. You haven't killed me. Did you get that? I am quite alive. Remus?'

'How?' was the only thing Remus managed to croak hoarsly between his strained breathing.

'Oh, well. I just did as it was suggested in Lockhart's 'Guide to really dangerous beasts', 3rd edition. Hit you on the nose, very hard. As you can see, it worked. There is one drawback, though. You shouldn't look into a mirror for some time'.

Remus flinched, because Severus, being a bit absorbed by his sarcastic remark, had raised his voice a bit.

'Wasn't  … planning … to… do that, Severus.'

'I am sorry, but this is about all I will be able to do for you. We are stuck. If they are not coming back or if nobdy will come looking for us, and that will hardly be the case because I've been too shortsighted to foresee any difficulties to even think of telling Harry, for example (no, Severus, he told himself, you have been too obsessed by the idea of doing this on your own or with Remus, to make big show of it and only present Harry the results), well, I think that will be it.'

When he suddenly sighted his coat which had disappeared during the transformation and was now lying a few feet away, he was glad that there actually was another thing he could do for Remus to make him a bit more comfortable. He would have needed this warm peace of clothing for himself, he was so cold now, that he could hardly keep his teeth from chattering. He got up (this was kind of easier now) collected the coat and went back to Remus. While he was covering him with it, tucking him in as good as possible, the werewolf suddenly began so speak again, although with a very feeble, hardly audible voice.

'Did I … bite you?'

'What? Well, no. I mean, yes. How are you supposed to fight a werewolf without getting so much as a scratch? But I don't think, that this is important now. I am well aware, that from now on, I will be a werewolf. But I think I've got enough time to worry about that later.'

'But … but… It is important for me. I am the wolf. … I am … responsible … have sworn to … respect the Code … of conduct … for werewolves … I …' Remus' voice failed him. If out of despair or lack of strenght, Severus couldn't tell, probably both. He could hardly believe it. Here he was, having experienced his worst nightmare come true and he found himself trying to tell a werewolf that it didn't matter that he had bitten him.

'Look here, Remus. This is really not the point right now. It is very likely that the two of us will not live to see the next full moon!'

'But I will not be … able … to … to live … with that, Severus, … really …'

'Really what?' Severus sighed somewhat exasperated. He had thought he would be able to put Remus a bit at ease about the fact that he hadn't become a murderer, that he would be able to die in peace if they weren't rescued in time, and here he was totally desperate about having just bitten him. To be fair, it was a catastrophy for everyone who got bitten by a werewolf, but Severus would have rather had another subject of discussion to distract his mind. And he had just no clue how to calm Remus down.

'Will you please stop that!' Severus demanded in a much too loud voice for Remus who flinched instantly. His face, although disfigured and his features hardly visible under the crust of blood, was showing the distress he was currently in.

'Listen again. If we should ever come out of this miserable place, I will not, do you hear me, Remus? I will not, and this is a promise, I will not accuse you of having bitten me. Do I remember correctly that it is not possible to trace back the werewolf who has bitten someone by a blood test of the bitten person? Right? So, it could have been any wolf. I we could manage to be found outside we can tell them a cock and bull story of another wolf who attacked me and you tried to defend me. Then, muggles shot at the wolves and you got injured. Well, there'll still be the fact that you didn't report to the Ministry and to take your potion there. But I will find a solution for that.' Severus had begun to take a liking to his little story. Fantasy had never been a problem for him.

'Why? … Why would you do this, Severus?'

'Why? Because I don't see the point of sending you to Azkaban for something I am also partly guilty for. And, what is more, it certainly wouldn't give me any satisfaction to know you rotting in that prison. To the contrary. I would think you could help me with my … uhm, condition.'

'You are mad.'

'Thank you. I knew that already.'

'What about that: we could tell part of the truth and tell that we were after some muggles, and we ran out of time? You see, I haven't been a spy all those years for nothing. When there is one thing I was good at, it was inventing stories and make them believable. The only thing will be, that we have to stick to the same story. The two of us, after muggles, lack of time, because it was difficult to find the muggles in question, we got lost, another werewolf. That's it. Did you get that?'

'Yes. I'll bear that in mind. But, I think I'll rather stick to your first theory,' Remus whispered. 'We are not going to leave this place alive.'

'Yes. Right. Let's accept the facts.'

They didn't talk after that. Severus couldn't think about a suitable subject anyway. He couldn't help it. His thoughts were circling around getting out of the cellar.

The cold seemed to creep right into his bones that it hurt him. He looked over to Remus who was also shivering but who had still all his clothes on and on top of that Severus' coat. He wondered if it would be too intimate to ask Remus if they could share the coat, if they could possibly warm each other under it. After all, they were in a desperate situation. But he didn't dare to ask. Maybe he should get up to walk around a bit. That should warm him up and also wear him out a bit. He was actually hoping that if he was becoming tired he would be able to fall asleep and never wake up again. Yes, he thought hopefully, he would do that, and after that ask Remus about sharing the coat. But somehow, he suddenly felt too weak to stand up again and walk. He was lacking the energy it would need to get up. For a moment, he wondered if this had already to do with werewolf mood shifts, but he didn't know how long the actual infection needed to get hold over the body of the bitten person.

He was sitting for quite some time, shivering, letting his head drop between his knees, pondering the over the fact if it was quicker or easier to die in a cold or warm surrounding. Warm was definitely more comfortable. And if he just went over to Remus to crouch under the coat without asking? Surely, Remus would understand. He was the more understanding of the two, wasn't he? And then, he was probably unconscious again, so he wouldn't notice.

Before Severus could make a decision about his next move, he was distracted by an unpleasant smell. He needed a minute (which was a rather poor result for a former Potions master) to identify the source. Urine. He definitely smelled urine. Did that come from Remus? It wouldn't have wondered Severus, given the werewolf's condition, but Remus wasn't the source. It was himself. As all the clothing which he was wearing had been quite soaked after the ordeal, he hadn't given much notice to his pants. But it was definitely him.

Damn. This was just too much. Humiliating. It remembered him of the night where he had have his first encounter with the werewolf. He could recall exactly the feeling of shame he had have back then, while he had been standing in front of the Headmaster's desk with his wet reeking pants, being told to keep the whole incident a secret.

The same mixture of shame and frustration was rising in him now. He became so angry that he beat his fist on the concrete floor. Because of the injuries and the cold it hurt considerably, but it didn't stop him. To the contrary. It finally gave him the energy to get up. Without thinking he went straight to the door and threw himself against it desperately. That hurt even more. He didn't care. He went for it again. And again and again until his shoulder felt as if it was on fire. He could hear himself sobbing, but he didn't care anymore about that either. He couldn't stop now, and if he would drop dead at the foot of the door. It didn't matter where he died, did it? Clear thinking was eluding him at the moment anyway.

That was probably the reason why he suddenly started yelling at the door which didn't budge. He could even hear himself shouting incantations at the stubborn object. But if somebody had asked him later which words he had used he couldn't excatly tell.

After one particularly severe attack to the door, instead of feeling the impact directly with his shoulder who had become numb by now, he had the sudden sensation of falling, if only for a very short moment. Then he did have contact to something hard, but it was the floor on which he was lying, while the door swung back and hit him in the face.


	12. 12 The flight

12 The flight 

Disclaimer: Remus, Severus and Harry are not mine, of course, but J.K. Rowling's invention.

A/N: Hope you all like this. Next Tuesday I'll see PoA, so I wrote this without having seen the film Remus. I am quite excited and can hardly wait to see how Remus and Sirius will be. If you are wondering now, how I could restrain myself from going on the first day or even to the midnight preview, for one, I didn't want to come to work next day sleepy, having to admit that it was because of Harry Potter. But it's mostly because I am quite mad at these cinema people. As it is the custom in Germany, and as some of you will no, films are usually dubbed, meaning they are not showing it in the original version, so I won't be able to hear Alan Rickman's voice (this is cruel, isn't it?). Well, the German version is usually quite good, but nothing compared to the original with all the accents of the different characters. And if I am forced to watch it in German, I want to have the satisfaction to do it on a 'cheap cinema Tuesday'. Well, they will show it in English at some point later, but I cannot wait that long (but it's a good excuse to watch it several times, anyway).

Thank you for keeping reviewing.

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How fitting. That was the first thought which crossed Severus mind after he had come out of a somewhat dazed state. He examined his nose, which had started to bleed, carefully. He did it absentmindedly, though, because his attention was drawn to the door he had battled against so desperately a minute ago.

It was definitely open. He couldn't believe it. Maybe it was due to hallucinations because of his condition, fever, lack of water or desperation, whatever. He stretched his arm out to touch the door. No, it was true. He was lying in the open doorway, the door had opened to the opposite wall. There was no mistake. But how could that have happened? It had been locked. When they had tried to open it the night before by Remus' feeble magical attempts it had definitely been locked. Although, it was possible that somebody had been here in the meantime to unlock the door, possibly when they both had been unconscious, but when Severus had run and thrown himself against it he had also gripped the handle and nothing had moved. Up to now.

He sat up and turned around to see if Remus had noticed what had been going on in the last minutes. He wasn't moving, probably unconscious again. Severus decided against telling him the news. As long as he wouldn't be able to offer him any better help, it would be unkind to try to wake him up, and Severus was still in doubt about the situation he suddenly had found himself in. On top of it, the vertigo was coming back followed by the strange colours which were blurring his vision again.

After a minute or two this uncomfortable sensation receded. Severus now believed that it had to do with his lycanthropy infection. He also knew that he had not much time left to do something to bring them both out of this situation. If he would become much weaker they wouldn't have much of a chance, and that after the bloody door had finally opened. He pulled himself together, stood up and walked over to the stairs they had come down the night before.

His legs felt as if they were filled with lead. He was cold and shivering and very thirsty. The hope of finding some water in the house drove him upstairs. As expected, he didn't meet anybody on his way. There was a kitchen which looked as if it hadn't been used for years, the only proof that somebody had been here a few hours before, were some empty pizza and crisps wrappings. The place reeked of beer, and indeed, in the sink Severus found some empty cans.

When he tried to work the tab, he experienced a disappointment. Of course, in a house which wasn't lived in, the water supply would have been cut off, as well as electricity or telephone. Sighing, he turned around. This had been a farm, maybe he could find a well or at least something where rainwater was collected or a brook. After all, the place was named after one. In his state he didn't really care if it would be drinkable or not. On his way out he saw the telephone. Although he didn't expect it to be working he picked the receiver up. Dead.

Then he thought he couldn't believe his eyes. There, next to the door was a sixpack of water bottles of which only one had been opened. The rest of them was full and unused. Severus dropped to his knees, grabbed one of the bottles and tried to open it feverishly. This proved to be difficult as his hands were shaking so much. In the end, he managed it and was rewarded with a gush of the refreshing liquid down his parched throat. He closed his eyes and emptied the whole bottle in one go. Severus was sure he had never felt so grateful before.

The water gave him some of his lacking energy back. As there would be enough water for the two of them for the moment, he used some of it to wash his face and to get the blood off his hands.

He even felt strong enough to go outside to have a look at the surroundings and to gather some information that could help them to get away from this place. So before he went to go down into the cellar again, he left the house carefully.

The first thing which crossed his mind, was to look for Remus' wand. To find it, he had to go back to the spot near the corner where they had been sitting before they were caught. He needn't have been careful. The surroundings of the house were as deserted as the building itself. As he had suspected the night before, the people must have left the place shortly after they had locked him and Remus in the cellar. Otherwise they would have noticed at least something about what had been going on in the basement.

It took him only a minute to find the magic device. It was lying in the trampled uncut grass, smeared with blood and broken. So even if Remus had have more magical power last night, it would have been no use to try to accio it. Although it wouldn't be of any use anymore, Severus picked it up. Sure, it was devoid of all magic, felt dead.

Wait a minute. He stopped in his track of thinking. How could he have felt such a thing? Well, you could easily see that it was broken, but the feeling that the magic in the object was clearly missing was another thing. Then, there was this door which had finally opened for no apparent reason … These colour mist he had seen several times during the last hour. … Now he remembered. It had been like that at St Mungo's during the process when they had removed the dark mark. He had seen colours in a similar way. And afterwards, his magic had left him. Could it be … Was there a chance that it was the other way round now? Could it have been … magic?

There was no other way to find out than to make a test. He dropped the wand in front of him, looked at it for some time, focused really hard, extended his right hand in direction of the broken object and whispered "accio wand".

His heart made a leap when the wand rose from the grass and flew, slowly, towards him so that he could grab it.

Magic.

He stared at the wand in his hand as if he had never seen such a thing in his life. His heart was beating madly.

This experience, although he still had been hoping for it for the last three years, was so unexpected that he didn't know if he was happy. This was quite real, and no dream, but to be absolutely sure he would need to do more tests and exercises. After all, he hadn't done any magic for at least three years. But there was no time for that. They needed to get out of here and, what was more, to get under medical care, especially Remus, but he himself as well. Although the water and the knowledge that there was the possibilty that he would get his magical abilities back, had helped him to recover a bit, he didn't feel very well. He didn't know yet what was exactly awaiting him, concerning the lycanthropy infection, although he was quite sure that it must be a very unpleasant process.

Therefore Severus didn't hesitate any longer, pocketed the wand and went back into the house to bring Remus some water. But on his way back something else caught his eye. There was another car the muggles had left on the premises. He hadn't noticed when they had reached the place that there was a second vehicle. Maybe that could be of some use to them. An idea began to form vaguely in his mind.

He passed by the kitchen and took two of the water bottles before he went to the cellar. Back down there in the twilight of the room he found Remus half conscious and shivering.

'Remus? Look here, I've found some water.' He touched him lightly, to get some reaction out of him without startling him.

When Remus didn't move, he shook him a bit at the shoulder.

'Remus, come on. Water. That'll help. And I've also got an idea how to get away from here.'

Finally, he opened his eyes and sighed.

'Water? … How?… Severus, … that'll be … probably … hallucinations.' He closed his eyes again. 'After a bite, … you'll develop a fever which is often … accompanied by hallucinations.'

'Maybe. But the water is still real. Come on. Have a go.'

Severus didn't wait for another reaction but kneeled down behind Remus and lifted him into a sitting position as gently as he could. Then he hold the bottle to Remus' mouth.

'Drink.'

Remus, feeling the liquid on his lips, started to swallow automatically. Once he realized that he was actually drinking water, he began to drink with deep gulps and couldn't get enough.

'Easy Remus. There's plenty of it. You can have as much as you want.'

Remus needed several minutes before his thirst was quenched. He was so exhausted that he had to pause a few times during the process. Severus waited patiently for his companion to finish and only saw to it that Remus was properly covered with his coat, as he was still shivering. Severus was very cold now himself, especially as he had to sit still. But he distracted his mind by thinking of the prospect of getting away from this miserable place. And there was also the exciting fact of his magic having come back, hopefully permanent. Therefore he had somewhat wandered off with his thoughts and was a bit startled when Remus suddenly spoke.

'Where did you get that water from, Severus?' Judging from the way he was speaking, the water dad helped him to recovered a great deal.

'Huh? Oh, never mind. I opened the door - don't ask me how. It … well, it might have been magic. I was even able to do some magic outside, in front of the house, but that's not important now. The water was in the kitchen. But the house was deserted long ago. So there is no telephone working and no running water. We'll have to see for ourselves to get out of here. I've got a rough idea, but for that, I'll have to get you out of the house. I assume, you cannot walk, Remus?'

'No, I don't think so. You did magic? And you say it's not important? That could help a great deal …' his face had considerably brightened at the information of the former Potions master having at least some of his magical ability back.

'No, forget about that. I'm not strong enough to apparate the two of us, and I haven't done any magic for years. Spare your breath now, Remus. I hope that I will have enough strength left to get you upstairs. Do you think you could hold on while I carry you on my back? How's your leg?'

'I don't feel much of it anymore. That's not a very good sign, I guess.'

'No, I suppose not, but If we can make it to St. Mungo's they'll be able to deal with it. Are you ready?'

'Yes.'

'Then hold on and try to take the coat with you.'

Remus put his arms around Severus shoulders, who had turned around and was kneeling. It was quite an effort for Severus to pull Remus up and hold his legs, and even harder to walk up the stairs with the extra weight. His knees were nearly giving way when they reached the car. Severus let Remus down on the grass carefully and covered him again with the coat.

'A car?' Remus asked amazed.

'Yes, at least that's what the muggles generally call them.' Severus gasped exhausted.

'I didn't know you could drive.'

'I don't. I mean, I did have some lessons at my integration classes, but I didn't take the test for the licence. I didn't see a reason why I should have a car in London, with all the public transport, and frankly, I found the idea quite frightening. All the traffic, you know. I have no idea how the muggles cope with it. I think before we try anything, I should go back into the kitchen and get the other water bottles.'

Severus stood up and walked towards the house to do that. The short way was straining enough already. He really had to hurry if they wanted to leave in time. He felt as if a collapse wasn't very far away.

'There you are. Have some more water.' He handed Remus one of the two bottles he had collected from the kitchen, and drank from the other one himself. Strangely enough, Remus was able to hold the bottle and drink without help now. The water he had before really had helped to recover him. Well, he hadn't had to carry somebody on his back …

Severus walked around the car to the driver's side. The door wasn't locked, so he didn't have to break it or try another spell, which could have proved to be a difficulty. The more pressing problem at the moment was, without doubt, to get the car going. The muggles hadn't left a key in the ingition. Well, Severus, be a bit inventive, he told himself. He had seen something about that in the countless films on television and in the cinema. If this worked, all the hours watching this stuff would now prove to be good for something after all.

Before he did anything with the car, he had to get Remus inside, so he walked back around the vehicle. It was quite an ordeal to lift Remus, as he didn't want to hurt him, and the other werewolf was hardly any help. Severus had to lift and push him inside. To be on the safe side, he even fastened the seatbelt. That would secure him, lest he should become unconscious again, which was very likely.

Then Severus went back to his former task. He was lucky to find a toolbox behind the driver's seat with a screwdriver in it. He used it to rip off the cover under the steering column to get at the wires. He had no idea which was which but had a go at some of them. At the third attempt he caused the desired short circuit which finally started the engine.

Not to lose any more time and to prevent the motor from stopping again, he sat in the driver's seat, taking a deep breath to concentrate and to recollect how he was to get the car moving. To his amazement, he managed to work the clutch properly and was able to change the gears in the right way. Slowly, they rolled off the premises and onto the road.

Severus had thought that Remus had fainted again, but when he dared to look aside for a moment, he saw that he was watching him with an expression on his face which was showing great awe. Remus was clearly impressed.

'You said, you couldn't drive, Severus,' he whispered. 'You know, if our situation wasn't so serious, I think I would enjoy this as an exciting venture.'

'Thank you very much,' Severus answered sarcastically. 'That's Gryffindor recklessness, I assume. I assure you, if I had a choice, I wouldn't be doing this. Don't expect me to drive us through London. I will try to find a telephone box and do that phone call on the Ministry emergency line. Maybe we can even get Harry himself to help us. That would be best, as it would avoid uncomfortable questions. And … remember, Remus. Stick to our story as I said. There were two werewolves and you did take the wolfsbane potion.'

'Right. As you wish.' Remus didn't sound very convinced of Severus' plan.

He drove on for some minutes. The surroundings were quite rural, only a farm and a few houses here and there. They were lucky that there wasn't much traffic and they only met a few cars, which was good, because Severus only had a rough idea about traffic rules. Handling the steering wheel wasn't much of a problem and he managed to turn around road bends smoothly.

The next problem now was to find a telephone box. They normally weren't to be found on the open road but rather in villages or at least in the vicinity of houses. They would have to be careful if they didn't want to draw the muggles' attraction towards them. Severus wanted to avoid to have to deal with muggle officials, such as police. But that would happen, when muggles would find them in their present state, injured and with a car which wasn't their own. Even worse, probably the car of criminals or even stolen by them.

He needn't have worried too much. After a few more miles, he spotted the desired object. He pulled up near it and got out of the car. Fortunately, the next house near was half a mile away. He went into the box, picked the receiver up and dialed the number. As with muggle emergency numbers, you didn't need a coin to get a connection.

A man's voice answered.

'Helpline, good morning. My name is Warwick, how can I help you?'

The person on the other end of the line hadn't said anything about being part of the Ministry of Magic. This was a precaution, just in case muggles used it by mistake, but Severus new the number by heart and was sure he had got it right.

'This is Severus Snape speaking. Registered squib number 512. I and another wizard are in need of some help and medical attention. We are northwest of London. What other information do you need to trace back our location?'

'It would be easiest, if you told me the number of the phone, it's supposed to be written somewhere near the apparatus itself,' the voice demanded.

Severus told him the number. 'Would it also be possible to contact Auror Potter to come to our rescue as well?' Severus asked hopefully.

'I'll see what I can do for you. We are doing our best, it shouldn't be a problem to send some wizards and a healer to you in a few minutes. I cannot make any promises about Potter, though, but I'll try to contact him. I must ask you to stay near the phone box, just in case I need to call you back.'

'Yes, sure.'

'All right then. Try to stay calm, they'll be there in a minute.'

'Thank you.'

Severus hung up and opened the door to leave the phone box. As being told, he didn't go away from it, but stayed and leaned against it. In fact, he wasn't able to move any further. All the stress, which had kept him going so far, was leaving him rapidly. Finally, his knees gave way. Sliding down onto the grass, he thought, that he had never felt calmer. The nightmare was at an end. Only a few more minutes and they would be safe. Well, there was still the problem with Remus to be solved and in four weeks time … No, he didn't want to think about it now. He was too tired.

Just as he felt he couldn't fight against the exhaustion and would faint any minute, a four wizards and a witch popped out of thin air. To his great relief, he recognized one of the wizards as Harry. The latter strode over to him immediately while the others went in direction of the car. That was fortunate as they would have time to have a word in private without witnesses.

'What happened?' Harry asked, kneeling down next to Severus.

'The official version will be, that we were after some muggle suspects and were not able to come back in time for Remus to report to the Ministry dungeons.' Severus whispered. Speaking was beginning to become difficult. 'When the moon rose, we were confronted with another werewolf. Remus tried to defend me, but I was bitten in the course of action. Remus himself was shot by muggles who were attracted by the racket we made in the wood, but we could flee and in the morning, we found the car and I managed to get it working …'

'What do you mean by 'official version', Severus?'

'Never mind that now. The important thing is, … if you want to help Remus, make sure it looks as if he had taken the wolfsbane potion … and signed in for it in the Ministry … yesterday morning.' He felt so weak by now that he could hardly whisper the last sentences. His vision began to blurr distincly and the strange colours were coming back.

'As if? What is that supposed to mean? Hang on, he didn't take … oh shit!' Harry's mouth dropped open and he was staring at Severus with wide eyes as truth began to dawn on him.

The shocked expression on Harry's face was the last thing Severus saw before he became unconscious.


	13. 13 Wandwaving

**13 Wandwaving**

Disclaimer: The idea of this story is mine, Mrs. Rowling owns the characters

A/N: All right, I've been unjust. They do show PoA in English. After having seen it twice I can say I am beginning to like it (if I don't compare it to the book too closely, though), but why on earth is the Remus/Severus werewolf problem not explained properly? It makes Severus appear in the film as if he is only acting out of a general evilness and stupidity, and we all know that that isn't true … And, of course, there are some of the Snape scenes missing, been changed or too short … Hang on, this is not supposed to be a film review…

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When Severus woke, he knew exactly what had happened and could easily guess where he was. He recognized the room where he was lying in a bed as one of St Mungo's from his last stay in the wizarding hospital.

He didn't feel particularly ill, only very weak, like after having stayed in bed for quite some time because of a severe illness, but recovering from it. His muscles hurt, though, but it was not very painful, more as if you have had to much exercise the day before.

'So, you've come round at least. Would you like to drink some water?' A voice in his right ear made him start.

A middle aged witch with short brown hair who was wearing the official St Mungo's attire for nurses, accompanied by an intimidating stern expression on her face, was standing next to his bed.

He tried to speak but managed only a pathetic croaking noise because his throat was parched.

'Thought so,' the witch said indifferently and handed him a glass of water.

He took it, giving the witch what was supposed to be a thankful nod and emptied it with a few gulps.

'I'll go to get the healer talk to you. Won't be a minute,' she said and went over to the door.

There, she stopped short and turned to give him a somewhat worried look as if she was expecting him to do something stupid in the meantime. Well, he couldn't blame her, Severus thought, when she was gone. Given his past history in this institution, he must be known as a difficult patient.

His assumption was proven to be true when the witch returned, accompanied by not only a healer but three, and two other nurses. They were obviously prepared to wrestle him down if he should freak out.

'Good morning, Mr. Snape,' the healer who was leading the group and was obviously the one in charge, greeted him in a friendly way. 'How are you feeling?'

'Not that bad, actually.'

'Do you know what happened?'

'Yes. I was bitten by a werewolf.'

The healer sighed, obviously relieved that he didn't have to be the one to bring the terrible news to Severus. But he did still look weary, as if he was on his guard, waiting for an extreme reaction from his patient.

'So, well. As you seem to have already had time to get used to your situation, I think we should speak freely now,' he went on and waved his wand to conjure a chair and sat down, while the other wizards remained standing behind him.

'Physically, there is nothing wrong with you, … apart from the obvious. You may be a bit weak now, but that's quite normal after a week in bed. You had a high fever, which is also a normal reaction of the body if confronted with lycanthropy. We will be able to led you go home in a few days, but there are a few things which will have to be discussed before.'

The healer, who hadn't dropped his friendly way of speaking, was also wearing a very amiable expression on his face. Come to think of it, his composure was a bit like that of Remus, or at least how Severus imagined Remus would act in the presence of one of his clients.

Remus. Severus was wondering if he could risk asking the healer about him without raising any suspicion. He could only hope that Remus had remembered their 'story' and that Harry had managed something concerning the wolfsbane potion.

'Hm. Let's see,' the healer consulted the clipboard which one of the other healers had given to him. 'I believe you are living on your own. Have you got any family, relatives or friends where you could stay for some time?'

'No.'

'Well. You see, you shouldn't live alone, at least for some time, especially before your first transformation. Even if you are not realizing it at the moment, there will be a lot of changes to your life. Changes which will not only affect your body but also your social life.' The healer spoke softly, as if he was under the impression that Severus had indeed not yet fully realized what it meant to be a werewolf.

'I think I know what I have to expect. Thank you for your concern.'

'Now. Let's say I do let you go home this week, and even if you find no problem in living on your own at your place, which, I have to repeat myself, I would not advise you to do, you still have to get assigned to one of the social workers from the Ministry. That's the law.' He looked at Severus thoughtfully before he went on.

'As you seem to know so much already, do you happen to know somebody from the Werewolf Department in the Ministry?'

Severus hesitated. He believed that now was the point where it would be relatively safe to ask after Remus. And he simply had to know, although he dreaded the information he was going to get in a moment.

'Yes. In fact, I do know somebody. But I don't know, if he will be able at the moment to take care of me. You see, it's Remus Lupin. He came in with me, heavily injured. I would be grateful if you could tell me if he is alright.'

'Mr. Lupin? Oh yes, certainly. Are you related or friends?'

'No, he is a colleague from work.'

'I see. Well, he has recovered quite well, although he will be on sick leave for some time. But I am sure he can visit you. He has been asking for you for the last days. I will tell him that you have woken up.'

Severus was relieved. So it seemed that Remus wasn't in immediate danger of being accused of having bitten somebody, and what was more, had obviously recovered so far that he was able to come over for a visit.

'Right. So, that's settled for the moment. I'm sure, Mr. Lupin will tell you everything. Even if you should chose somebody else as you social worker, it's sometimes wiser if it's strangers, you see, and not people you are close to, but that's your choice, you needn't decide before you leave hospital. I'll only have to write a name down in your papers to show to the Ministry, that's all. A formality. But when you are leaving, it's obligatory that you've made your choice and name somebody definitely. If you haven't got any questions at the moment, I'll leave you to it. If you need a sleeping potion, feel free to ask the nurse.'

The healer seemed to be slightly in a hurry, now that he had said what had to be said. He was probably glad that Remus would take over soon and therefore left the details to be discussed by the social worker.

That was as well for Severus. He had no interest in talking about his condition with strangers, even if they were expert healers.

'See you some time later. I've got other patients to attend to.'

The healer and his escort left the room quickly, the others having said nothing. Some of them merely nodded before they stepped through the door out in the corridor. It was a somewhat strange situation. What had begun quite friendly, as an everyday talk between a healer and his patient had suddenly ended, and they had all left as if they were glad not be in the same room with him anymore. As if he was contagious. Well, now he had got a glimpse of what it meant to be a werewolf. Even healers and nurses, who should know better, were acting strangely.

Therefore he was looking forward to talking with Remus. On the one hand, because he as a werewolf himself wouldn't show such weird behaviour and on the other hand Severus wanted to make sure with his own eyes that the other werewolf was well. He expected it to be akward, though, he as the victim talking to the man who was mainly responsible for the whole situation.

'Do you want a sleeping potion?' the nurse made him start again. Unlike the healers and the other nurses, she had stayed, unnoticed by him.

'No. No, thank you. I am fine. I am quite tired already. I think I will sleep in a minute anyway,' he said to her. And he meant it, because the whole talking business, although it had only lasted a few minutes, had been quite straining. So he didn't wait for her to say anything else and didn't care if she left or not, but pulled the blankets over his face, closed his eyes and soon found himself drifting into sleep.

---

Next time he woke, he heard voices on the corridor behind the door outside his room. A moment later, the door opened and Remus hobbled in with the aid of two crutches. He was smiling but his expression betrayed that he was very unsure of himself.

'Hi, Severus. Glad to see you up again.' He stopped halfway between the door and the bed. 'As you can see, I have been mended quite well. How about you? How are you feeling?'

'Not really bad. Only tired and a bit stiff. The healer said I will be able to leave in a few days.'

'Good.'

Then there was an odd pause. None of the two seemed to know how to go on.

'It seems they have also done a good job regarding your nose.'

'Yes. Well, I didn't see it when it was in it's worst state.'

'Think yourself lucky, then. Remus, do you want to remain standing there all the time? You look as if you could do with a chair or something.'

Remus was indeed a bit shaky as he stood there in the middle of the room, leaning heavily onto his crutches.

'Look, I want to talk to  you, Remus. I know that this must be an akward situation for you, but … blieve me, I have no grudge against you. I will need your help. Really.'

'Yes, sure.'

Remus looked down on his feet for a moment and took a deep breath, as if to gather courage. He still hadn't moved from the spot where he had stopped.

'I… I wanted to thank you, Severus. Harry told me that you informed him and … well that way he was able to take care of the matter with the potion … and all.' He was now looking at Severus, seeming very helpless and at a loss for words. All the self-confidence he usually showed towards others, even if it wasn't always his true feeling, had gone.

Severus was in an awkward situation himself. He could imagine how Remus felt, or, better, what he was feeling, and that was certainly guilt. Severus couldn't relieve him from that. He wasn't even sure if it was a good idea to ask the other werewolf to help him, or if it would mean an extra burden to Remus. Although Remus seemed to have a vocation for helping other people, Severus thought that it might be better in their case not to see each other again, as it could prove to much of a burden for both of them. But then, he felt that he would never be able to manage to cope with lycanthropy on his own or even with a strange social worker from the Ministry. So he decided to ask Remus at least. He could still say no, and Severus decided for himself that if that would be the case, he wouldn't beg.

'Are you going to sit down, Remus? I don't want it to be my fault if you collapse.' He waved his hand in direction of the chair which the healer had left behind after conjuring it.

Remus finally reacted to the offer and limped towards the chair. When he sat down carefully, he grimaced and shifted to find a more comfortable position for his leg.

'I shouldn't have asked the healer to tell you to visit me, should I? You are not quite fit for walking about, visiting others on their sick bed. I am sorry.'

'No, no. That's alright. Walking isn't the problem. To the contrary, I'm supposed to get that leg exercised. Sitting is a bit tricky.'

Having said that, he looked around as if he was searching for something, then he produced a wand from his sleeve (he wasn't wearing hospital clothes but jeans and a shirt) and conjured a stool with one wave of it. When he had put his injured leg on it, he sighed and looked more comfortable at once.

'You've got a new wand,' Severus commented curiously.

'Yes, as my wand got damaged while I was 'on duty',' Remus cleared his throat and grinned, 'I was entitled to a replacement by the Ministry. It's not the latest model and not as good as my old one, but it's not bad. I guess I'll just have to get used to it. And as I didn't have to pay for it ...'

'We were out there that night on the Ministry's business?' Severus asked astonished.

'Well, I was chasing this 'other' werewolf. Even if it happens in my free time that I come across some problem concerning a werewolf, I am obliged to act, of course.'

'Free time?' I wouldn't call the night of the full moon your free time. Sounds too much like holiday. And how would you explain my presence? Don't tell me I went along to help you catching a werewolf out of bounds, because that would be a bit far fetched indeed, don't you think?'

'Harry admitted that he had sent us after these Muggles. The werewolf was a coincidence.'

'I see. As this has suddenly become official, do we have to answer for it in a hearing?' Severus asked with a lot of concern in his voice.

'No. Not as far as I know. It seems that Harry was quite successful in convincing Percy and as Percy Weasley is on good terms with the Minister himself, Harry told me that it wasn't much of a problem. Although, I think, Harry didn't tell me all of it. I am really feeling quite bad about all this. I got him into this trouble and I am responsible that he did illegal things as a Ministry official, and that at the beginning of his career. He must have forged my signature, too, because it was later found on the list for the wolfsbane potion of that certain night.'

'Oh, I don't know. In desperate situations and if it's life saving … You should be glad that he is so imaginative. And don't forget, the spying assignment was his idea in the first place, we only, hm … let's say … interpreted his directions a bit differently. But there we are back to discussing who's guilty or not. That will lead to nothing. I wanted to ask you something.'

'Sure.' Remus changed his position on the chair again slightly. His leg seemed to trouble him more than he would admit in Severus' presence.

'Let me say this first, Remus. You don't have to do this because you feel guilty or obliged. Really. But I wanted to ask, If I may choose you as my werewolf social worker. That way I wouldn't be forced to discuss all those things with a complete stranger, and … well, feel free to say no and I won't ask you anymore.'

'I must admit, that it will not be easy for me, for both of us. Because, you see, it will get a lot harder. Harder than you can possibly imagine. You'll probably end up hating me, once you have experienced the full moon the first time or when you start to rearrange your life according to your lycanthropy.'

He paused, looking into Severus' eyes for a moment as if he expected to find his answer there, or if in doubt if Severus had meant what he had said.

'But I'll do it. You'll probably suspect me of doing it because I want to pay back part of my guilt. Well, that might be true. Didn't you feel the same way when you went over from the dark side to help the Order?'

'Yes.'

'That's settled then. If I can get my hands on a copy of the "Code of Conduct for Werewolves of Britain" I'll bring it along to explain to you the finer points of your condition and what comes along with it.'

'Thank you, Remus. That really means a lot, you know.'

'Have you got any pressing questions you want to have answered now, or will it be ok for you if I come back tomorrow and we'll talk then?'

Severus really didn't want to cause Remus discomfort with his injured leg any longer, but he had indeed a pressing matter on his mind, although it wasn't directly connected to lycanthropy.

'Forgive me, but I need to ask you a favour. I simply have to know.'

'Yes?' Remus looked curious.

'Can I borrow your wand for a minute?'

'My wand? Well, why not. Oh, right, I remember. When you managed to open that door … Do you really think it came back, your magic? That would indeed be wonderful, Severus … but …' he hesitated a bit as if to think over what he was going to say, and shifted again on the chair. When it seemed that he wouldn't be able to find a more comfortable sitting position he took his crutches and heaved himself up, grimacing slightly, before he went on.

'This is not easy to explain, Severus. Let's put it like this: I will, of course, give you my wand to let you try out some magic, but let me warn you first. As it is well known to you, lycanthropy is a very complex disease. Your body will need the full four weeks from the bite to your first transformation, because only after this span of time the infectious process will be completed. During that time, a lot of things can change. What I was going to say is this: even if you should find yourself again in possession of magical abilities now, when this process I've been speaking about will be finished, it could be that it will be gone again by then. … Or it could even be stronger,' he added after making a short pause.

'Right. I appreciate it that you've informed me about all that, but even if I should lose my magic after the first transformation once more, I would rather like to feel that sensation again, and if it's only for a short time. Can you understand that?' Severus looked at the other werewolf almost pleadingly.

'Of course. But only a few minutes. And let me cast a uninteresting spell on the door first. As for you officially being a squib and, … well, not being too much trusted by the Ministry and on top of all a werewolf, I would like to make sure that we are not going to have any witnesses. I needn't tell you that as a werewolf, you should always take care to keep a low profile, do I ?'

With the help of his crutches, Remus made a few steps in direction of the door, cast the spell and turned, only to find Severus already standing behind him. His face was showing the anticipation caused by the excitement of trying out magic properly for the first time, because the time when he had accidentally opened the door or when he had accioed Remus' wand didn't really count.

'Here you go. Good luck.' Remus smiled encouragingly as he handed him his wand.

Severus took it, turned around from the other wizard and walked to the end of the room to gain some space.

There he stopped, raised his wand and tried to concentrate and breathe evenly. It felt definitely weird, him standing in a nightshirt in a hospital room, trying to do some simple magic with a borrowed wand. He felt a bit like a schoolboy who was about to do something forbidden and exciting. By his breathing technique he finally managed to become relaxed enough to try something out. He decided to do the spell which he was sure of had worked before and pointed the wand.

'Accio!'

The cushion flew from the bed into his arms in a straight arc. Relieved, he looked over to Remus who was now smiling broadly and nodded approvingly but didn't say anything as if not to break Severus' concentration.

He threw the cushion back and tried again. It came flying promptly. His heart began to beat faster. He had to force himself to breath more slowly or his magic would go out of control. Something else now, but what? Let's think … it had to be something more complex but not too advanced. Some easy transfiguration, perhaps. Yes that would be it …

He accioed the chair on which Remus had been sitting. It too, came flying and landed precisely where Severus had intended it to stop in front of him. After a short pause, during which he closed his eyes to be able to concentrate better and to picture the object he wanted it to transform into, he waved the wand in the required manner, speaking the incantation. With a creaking noise the chair transformed into an armchair. Another flourish of the wand, a different spell and it transformed into a footstool, then a stepladder, a nightstand, and finally back into the chair. With a last flick of his wrist, Severus sent it back on its former place beside the bed.

He was very pleased with himself, to say the least. Remus was now beaming and made as if to clap his hands for applause, but silently. Maybe he should end the experiment here, but what if this was his last chance to do magic, what, if after the next full moon it would be gone again, for ever …

No, he decided he would enjoy this as long as possible and as the other werewolf didn't give any sign that Severus should end his performance, he thought it couldn't hurt to do something else, something even more advanced, … something alive? Why not. But he had to be careful and concentrate hard, because by now he was so excited that his magic could easily get out of hand. But a small animal shouldn't be a problem. A bird? Harmless enough, but very fast moving, not easy to picture in your mind when you were doing magic at a beginner's level. Something slower, hm … small lizards were when it was cold.

To prepare the atmosphere a bit, Severus opened the window by magic to let some of the cold winter air in. Then he took another deep breath, spoke the incantation, concentrated hard on a spot in front of him, picturing the salamander in his mind very hard and made the wand movement required for the conjuring of the desired animal.

For a second, nothing happened. But the next moment, a rumbling sound could be heard developing from nowhere and with a cracking noise, an animal erupted in front of Severus, which wasn't a salamander at all.

Standing on its hind legs, spitting sparks out of its round snout and snorting angrily, accompanied by clouds of smoke which were coming out of its nostrils, was a small dark green dragon.

It was only a foot and a half tall, therefore it must have been a very young one, probably even a baby, but still … it was real.

How very real it was, it showed a second later when the hem of Severus' nightshirt got singed when the animal shot a jet of fire at him.

Severus was rooted to the spot. Fascinated that he had accomplished such a difficult magical task, he was only vaguely aware that he should be a bit worried about having a highly dangerous animal so near him.

But this moment only lasted for a split second or two because Remus had the presence of mind to act. He dropped his crutches and was upon Severus in no time. He wrenched the wand out of his hand and brandished it against the dragon in one swift action muttering 'minimalus'.

It was one thing to conjure a dragon, but to get rid of it was quite another matter. You couldn't simply make them disappear again, you either had to kill them (using a killing curse wasn't really an option in a hospital, and then you still had the problem of disposing of the corpse, even if it was small) or you could make it shrink, as Remus had just done.

The other werewolf also conjured a small cage around the little dragon who was now toy size and looked quite harmless. But it wasn't. Being confined like that (Severus wondered if the animal had any sense of recognizing that it had been reduced in size) it was quite upset, growled and was spitting fire at them through the bars of it's prison.

When Remus was done with this, he faced Severus who was sure he had never seen him so angry.

'Are you completely out of your mind?' he hissed, his eyes sparkling menacingly. He would rather have shouted, but kept his voice in check as he did not want to alarm any of the hospital personnel. 'What part of 'keeping a low profile' didn't you understand? When I handed you my wand I thought that you would try out harmless things. Couldn't you stick with furniture? I don't believe this! Of all animals! A smaller more harmless one wasn't good enough, huh?'

'Remus, I didn't mean to …'

'How do you think we will get rid of it? Oh, I should have known that it would be difficult with you. Really, a dragon!' Remus growled.

Severus somehow didn't see the point of Remus' rage. He found himself on a wave of happiness about having finally found out about his regained magic, and the dragon was safely confined in it's cage after all.

'Look, it was supposed to …'

Remus didn't let him finish. While the latter was beside himself, Severus was beginning to find the whole situation highly comical. The way the other wizard acted Severus wouldn't have been much surprised if Remus started spitting sparks and snorting smoke just like the little dragon which was raving in it's cage in a similar way. When Severus was struck by this funny thought, he had to suppress a smile.

'Look. Now go back into bed and take that … that beast with you and hide it somewhere, before somebody comes. Go on! Go!'

Remus grabbed Severus' shoulder and pushed him towards his bed while he himself staggered and limped back to where he had dropped the crutches.

Although not being used to obey orders of the kind Remus was giving him, Severus did as being told. Well, he did have a point. It would be difficult to explain what a dragon was doing in a hospital ward, not to forget that being werewolves, the two of them belonged to the less respected kind of wizarding society, and on top of that, Severus was officially still a squib.

He took the little cage with the enraged miniature dragon and hid it in his bed, making sure it was as far away from his feet as possible when he crept under the blankets himself. He pulled his knees under his chin, just in case the dragon decided to set fire to the bed. But that wasn't the only problem. When Remus came limping up to him, he was still very upset, ready to give another lecture regarding the proper behaviour of werewolves, but Severus only felt a mad desire to laugh about the whole ridiculous situation. Maybe part of his feelings were also due to the mood changes of werewolves he knew about. But he was sure that the main reason was because he was so happy he had been able to do magic after all those years. He just couldn't help it, he finally burst into laughter in front of a furious Remus Lupin who was staring at him indignantly.

'Have you lost your marbles, or what? Are you not listening, Severus?' Remus shook his head and sat down on the chair, sighing.

'I should have known, that you wouldn't be easy to deal with. This really is a serious matter. Always remember …' he stopped when he realized that Severus was not able to listen as he was laughing too hard.

'Magic! Remus, I did magic!' he managed to say before his laughing became more of a hysterical sobbing.

'That was hard to miss,' Remus answered drily. 'Congratulations. But what are we going to do with this animal, now?'

Remus didn't get an answer because suddenly, someone could be heard approaching the door of the ward. Severus, who knew that there was no way he would be able to control himself in time, turned and hid his face in the cushion. To be absolutely sure he also pulled the blanket over his head. Trying to stifle his laughter, he coughed into the cushion and was hardly able to hear what the nurse who had entered the ward was saying.

'Are you having any problems?'

'Oh no. Everything is ok,' he heard Remus answering matter of factly. 'He is just a bit overwhelmed, you know. Quite a normal reaction when they suddenly realize what is going to happen to them.' Remus patted Severus' shoulder.

'Yes, I know. But you should be careful. You haven't recovered fully yet. I do not have to remind you that you are still on sick leave and therefore officially not even allowed to look after one of your cases, Mr. Lupin?'

'I am aware of that.'

'And you know that he … has a red file?'

'I do. Thank you.'

At that moment the miniature reptile decided that it had enough, being confined in the cage and on top of it forced to sit in the dark, probably with not much air to breathe. It started spitting fire which caused Severus to groan loudly and, although he had his knees nearly pulled up to his chin, to wriggle under his blanket to get even a bit farther away from the animal. Remus, mistaking this action for another one of Severus' voilent fits of laughing, pushed him down into the cushions to make him stop.

That could have led to an akward situation. Severus didn't want to give away their secret of the illegal 'pet', but if the nurse wasn't going to leave he would have to flee from the bed, as his feet were beginning to feel the uncomfortable heat from the dragon's pyrotechnical activities. Due to the lack of oxygen under the blankets, the animal wouldn't be able to start a real fire, but it was bad enough. Remus didn't show any sign that he would let go and breathing became difficult.

'Well, if you don't need anything … I'll leave you to it then.'

Severus was relieved when he heard her leave and close the door. Gulping for air he burst from under his cover.

'Let go, Remus! Do you want to suffocate me?'

'As long as your behave as it is proper for a werewolf in hospital…'

'I had no choice. The bloody dragon singed my feet!' Severus cut in indignantly.

'Oh, that one. I nearly forgot. Well, as long as it didn't affect your brains …'

'Very funny! Look, it has ruined the cover and my nightshirt!'

'Indeed. I remember times when you did look more decent,' Remus remarked, sneering.

'Oh, stop that Remus. You're not even good at this!' Severus retorted exasperatedly. 'Would you care to help me, please. This really hurts a bit,' he pleaded, rubbing the sole of his right foot. 'But you can give me your wand, and I'll try to do it myself, I you preferred ..'

'Oh no. No way. I'll rather do myself something about this mess. But before I do so, Severus … promise me that you won't do any more magic while you are here or in public. With or without wand.'

'Promised.'

'Right then.'

Remus flicked his wand in a careless manner to repair the damaged nightshirt and the blankets in a second. He was more subtle with a healing spell for Severus' feet, though. After that he was about to place the dragon under the bed where it couldn't do so much damage, when there was a knock at the door. This caused Remus to make a mad dash to shove the little cage under the bed. That wasn't good for his leg, of course, therefore his muttered 'come in!' sounded a bit strangled.

It was Harry.

'Oh. Just you,' Remus sighed and struggled a bit to get back on his chair.

'Something wrong?' the younger wizard asked bewildered. 'I wanted to visit you, Remus, and they told me you were with Severus, so I thought I could just as well see both of you. I wanted to anyway. If am disturbing anything …'

'No no. You are not. It's alright. We had just a little problem.' Remus pointed under the bed.

Harry bend down and was obviously impressed.

'Is that real? Ouch! Looks like it.' He came up from under the bed holding the little cage and adoring it's inhabitant.

'A miniature dragon. Very rare nowadays. Where did you get it? It was not meant to be a getting well present, was it?'

'Ask him,' Remus nodded in Severus direction.

'I tried out some magic, and at first it worked well, but then … well, it was supposed to be a salamander, and … they are related, aren't they?' Severus said casually.

'You did magic, really?' Harry asked astounded. 'But that's good news, isn't it Remus? That means he can leave that dreadful registry and lead a normal life as a wizard again. … Well, as normal as it can get as  … in your condition, I mean.' Harry looked really pleased now.

'A dragon, Harry. He conjured a dragon without meaning to. He cannot control his magic yet, it's dangerous! And, what is more, it's not sure that he will keep this ability, after the transformation …'

'Oh come on, Remus, this is just great. Congratulations, Severus. You only need a bit of practice.'

'Thank you, Harry.'

Suddenly, an idea crossed Severus' mind.

'If I remember correctly, you might just be the man to help us get rid of this lovely animal. I am not sure, was it in your first year at Hogwarts?'

Both wizards looked at him questioningly.

'But how …. You knew? And you didn't say anything?' Harry said disbelievingly.

'Well. It was my night on duty. What could I have done? I wasn't supposed to get you or your friends expelled. And what was more, Albus knew, as always. He didn't want to compromise Hagrid, and he had the same idea. Only, you were quicker. Being responsible for the safety of the castle, I just made sure that the people coming were no threat, and that nothing happened to you in the process. You did get your detention in the end as Mr. Malfoy was so kind to play spy on you. I didn't even have to do anything. He did try to convince me, of course, that he had seen the dragon, but I made as if I didn't believe him, told him that I had been on duty and hadn't seen a thing.'

'Uhm, excuse me, is there anything I have missed?' the other werewolf interrupted them looking from one to the other.

'He didn't tell you, Remus? Indeed!'

Severus was really astonished about that. He would have thought that Remus filling in as second godfather, the two of them would have exchanged all their school pranks.

'Told me what?'

'Well. I am not going to be the one telling you all of Harry Potter's fascinating secrets of his school time.' He couldn't help sneering a bit, but then turned towards Harry. 'Do you think you can use the same contacts as the first time?'

'Yes, probably. I'll take it. Anything else you want me to do for you? Any more interesting animals? You know, I don't mind dragons, if they are small.' Harry laughed, holding the cage up against the light to get a better look at the reptile which was still spitting and fuming.

'No.'

'Right then. I'll go to see Arthur about this. … Uhm. You are not going to do anything else … you know, … dangerous? I mean, you two know that as werewolves, you should make sure to … '

'Keep a low profile!' the two werewolves chorused at the same time.

Harry tapped the cage and cast a freezing spell on the dragon who became immobile at once. It wouldn't last long, as these kind of spells didn't work well on dragons, but it would give him some time to get it out of the hospital unnoticed and take it back to the Ministry. He then said good bye and left.

'Now, tell me Severus, they smuggled a dragon out of Hogwarts in their first year? But how did it get there in the first place?'

'Hagrid.'

'I should have guessed. And then?'

'Nothing. They contacted Charly Weasley and some friends of him came and collected it one night from one of the towers.'

'The way you're telling it, it didn't seem very exciting.'

'It wasn't. Not if you are hiding on a tower in a night which is one of a long row of sleepless ones because you are constantly on duty, watching silly schoolchildren to make sure that they don't harm themselves while they are doing absurd pranks.' He yawned.

'If you are tired, I'll leave now. This leg needs some rest as well. I'll bring you the book tomorrow so that you can study it.'

'Yes. Do so. Sounds interesting,' Severus said without much enthusiasm while he made himself comfortable in the bed.

'It's about thousand pages…'

'What?' Severus opened his eyes again staring disbelievingly at Remus.

'And you are supposed to learn it by heart,' Remus threatened.

Severus eyebrows went up and he sat upright again, but didn't say anything.

'Just joking,' Remus laughed while he got up, grabbing his crutches.

Severus only groaned and let himself fall back into the cushions.

'See you tomorrow then.'


	14. 14 Werewolves at home I

14 Werewolves at home I 

It was early afternoon the next day when Remus entered the ward with a book in his hands. He was walking slowly and cautiously, but without the help of crutches.

'Hi, Severus.'

'Good afternoon, Remus. You are making fast progress, I dare say!'

'Progress!' he snorted indignantly. 'Just when I had managed to walk more or less free of pain, they took away my crutches. These healers are cruel, believe me.'

'Don't tell me.'

'Well. You haven't been what one would call a "model patient" in the past,' Remus remarked while he sat down on the chair next to Severus' bed carefully.

'Yes, I have to admit that considering my history with this institution my record isn't exactly clean, but come to think of it: does it have something to do with me having a "red file" as the nurse said yesterday?'

'Yes, unfortunately. But never mind. I've got one, too. As a werewolf, you would have this so called 'red patient file' anyway, because as such, you are considered potentially dangerous at all times. The only difference is that you had it before.' Remus shrugged his shoulders.

'Here you are. This is your personal copy.' He handed Severus the much worn book, of which the faded title read 'Code of Conduct for Werewolves in Britain'.

'I hope you don't mind that it isn't a new one. As you can easily guess, the Ministry doesn't spend more money on werewolves than necessary. This was the best copy my colleagues at the office were able to get from all the second hand ones.'

'Second hand? I believe there have been quite a few owners before me.' Severus remarked while he was taking a closer look of it. There were several names written on the flyleaf, some accompanied by comments, such as: "Amanda Biggins, who didn't read a line of this rubbish", and "Romuald Clarence, who did read this book, and if Amanda had, she wouldn't have died such a cruel death so early", or "Arthur Bernardo, I did not read it and am still alive. Nobody should bother reading it, because as a werewolf you'll never win" and so on.

'Sounds promising,' Severus commented drily.

'I know. But before I leave you to this highly entertaining reading, there is something else I have to tell you.'

'Yes?' Severus stopped looking at the book and let it drop onto the blankets.

'Harry saw me this morning and told me that Hermione visited him in his office yesterday. She sends her regards and wishes you well, but she also asks us - and this is meant to be an official order - to keep out of anything which has remotely to do with spying upon criminal Muggles in the future.'

Severus snorted. 'Oh, that won't be a problem. Believe me, I have certainly had enough of that and no desire to experience similar scenarios. Do you?'

'No.' Remus sighed.

'What has Hermione to do with this? Did you meet her?'

'No. She only came to see Harry. It has been over a year since I've met her. Naturally, with her job at the Department of Mysteries she has to lead a very secret life. If you can call that a life, which I doubt. I don't think it's good for her, doing this work, when you can't really have a family or see friends regularly.'

'At least not for a lifetime. But they depend on brilliant minds like hers at the Ministry. So it seems she got involved in our case?'

'Yes, we are quite lucky. That way she was able to manage that there won't be too many questions in the end. I think she was also responsible for the group who cleaned the cellar in that house and altered the memories of the Muggles we met.'

'Indeed. What of them? Were they caught? Is there any proof they were engaged in anything against the magical world?' Severus asked, now really curious about this subject, although he would rather forget about this horrible night.

'Oh, as far as I know, they were just plain drug dealers. Muggle drugs, nothing magical.'

'So everything we did was not only highly unprofessional, dangerous and careless beyond description, not to forget stupid, but also in vain?' Severus asked, his face showing disbelief and disappointment at the same time.

'I am afraid so.' Rmus nodded sadly. 'But for Muggle standards they were still dangerous criminals, so the Magical Law Enforcement Department made sure they were detected by Muggle police in the end to get them arrested.'

'Good to hear. That's at least something. So they didn't have any idea that we were wizards?'

'No, I don't think so. But even if they did, their memories were altered.'

Severus nodded in appreciation and began to leaf through the pages of his book again.

'Let's see what interesting information this is going to give me. … "No werewolf is allowed to" … hang on, what !?! … "to mate while the period of the full moon lasts" …' Severus' face reflected pure disgust. 'Revolting! Now, I ask you! Who would do a thing like that?'

'Surely, you are not that naïve, Severus, are you? I told you that there are werewolves who feel so excluded from wizarding society that they have begun to create their own understanding of what's right or wrong. They create their own world, feel themselves kind of special. To have a werewolf child would be a natural consequence, I believe.'

'But to do that to a child, knowingly!' Severus objected indignantly. 'Well I know, in my past I have met more than one person with monstruous ideas, but still … '

'Yes, I know. But I assure you, most of the werewolves are quite normal. As normal as you can be, I mean, like you and me.' Remus laughed a bit unsure of himself. 'The important thing with having children as a werewolf parent is, though - and you should know that, although I don't know if you are planning to start a family … anyway - the important thing is, that if the father is a werewolf, it doesn't matter, the condition will not be transferred, unless it's on a full moon, of course. But if the mother is the werewolf, it has to be prevented by all means that she gives birth on a full moon. But that can easily be managed in hospital.'

'Indeed, I wasn't planning on founding a family, but thank you for the information anyway. So they do allow our kind to have children?'

'Yes, but most of us live single, especially if you have been a werewolf from childhood on. As you can easily imagine, it's not easy to build up relationships and if you had one and get lycanthropy as an adult, well, most relationships break up.' Remus looked very sad now, but his expression didn't give away any information if or how often he had experienced what he had just described in gloomy colours.

'Have you got any more questions, Severus?'

'No, thank you. I think I'll just be happy with reading this for some time.'

'Good. I'll see you tomorrow then.'

When Remus had left, Severus turned his attention back to the book and began to read. After a while, he found out that apart from the shocking paragraph he had come upon first, it wasn't very exciting. Basically, all rules discussed in it could also be applied to all wizards, not only werewolves. It included a broad variety of things wizards were not allowed by law, such as Muggle baiting, the misuse of Muggle artefacts or the uncontrolled breeding of dangerous magical animals, to name only a few. From what he read between the lines, though, and from what he knew from experience, it seemed that the only difference between normal wizards and werewolves was, that they were punished harder when they broke one of these laws. Somehow, he wasn't surprised by this discovery.

Somewhere between the 320th and 321st "Werewolves must not …" he became so tired that he couldn't help falling asleep.

---------------

It felt strange when he closed the door of his flat behind him. It struck him at once that he didn't feel like coming home as he used to most of the time he had been living here. After he had - at least partly - accepted that he had to live as a Muggle and had rearranged his life to the circumstances he had come to like this flat and the things in it. The furniture, the music, everything he had bought himself. It was part of his new personality. Every evening when he came home from work he felt secure when he entered his flat and enjoyed relaxing here.

This was definitely different now. It was as if he did not belong here anymore. As if he was a stranger, visiting a Muggle flat. He felt that he should start a new life very soon, move house into a new environment where he could live safely as a wizard. But would he really be able to change his life again totally? Don't forget, Severus, he reminded himself, you are a werewolf. If changing from a wizarding life - which in his case had been complicated enough - to the Muggle world had been quite an ordeal, living as a werewolf would even be harder.

Damn. He didn't want to think of it, not in the last weeks he had before his first transformation. He had decided that it wouldn't do him any good, thinking of his condition day and night. He would have rather forgotten about it for the time being. The next full moon would come early enough, and he had Remus within reach if he came upon any questions.

Remus had visited him yesterday and this morning, before the healers had given their consent to let him go. He had even offered to stay with him or have Severus stay at Remus' place, which, as Remus had told him, he had done quite often for other werewolves. In that respect Remus' flat seemed to serve as a werewolf sanctuary in times of need. Well, if it got too bad, he could still ask Remus for help, but for now he preferred to be on his own. Try to live on as normal as possible. Maybe he had been a bit harsh when he had declined Remus' offer, and maybe Remus was right. He was the one with years of experience with lycanthropy - his and that of others, and what catastrophies could arise out of this much despised condition.

As he wandered through the rooms he noticed that they were well aired. Remus had told him that Harry had managed to send some house elves from the Ministry to look after his flat. That had been very thoughtful, because it had spared him to get into contact with his Muggle neighbours, which would have been accompanied by uncomfortable questions and much explanations. When he reached the kitchen and went to check the fridge and its contents he was positively astonished that the elves had also seen to that. It was not only well filled but contained only food he liked, and things which would have gone off by the time had been thrown away.

That way, Severus was able to prepare himself a small evening meal, consisting of bread, cheese and salad. He made himself comfortable in front of the television to eat it.

After some time, he became so tired that he was sure he wouldn't even make it to the 9 'o clock news. The healers had warned him that he would probably feel quite tired for the rest of the time before his first transformation. He was glad about that, actually. Back in hospital, he hadn't had any problems with sleeping, but now at home, this could have been different. So he changed quickly for the night and went into bed. As he had hoped for, sleep came quickly.

---

He was running. Running fast but he wasn't hitting the ground. He wasn't fleeing from a werewolf, no, he himself was running on four legs. In front of him there was a small group of people, obviously running from him. This time, he was the beast. He didn't want to harm them, but he couldn't help running after them. He wanted to shout that they needn't be afraid because he wouldn't bite … but, … could he be sure about that? The longer he ran, the stronger the desire to run and to catch them became. From there, to bite and kill would only be a small step.

'You haven't taken the wolfsbane potion, Severus! It's your fault! Your fault alone! You will kill at least one of them!' these thoughts crossed his mind while he was running and becoming faster. The distance between him and the people - he could see that there were a few children amongst them - got smaller. It would only be a question of seconds that he got to them. No! He didn't want to do this, but he wasn't able to stop or even to slow down. A strange force was pulling him. There was no way, he would be upon them in a few seconds.

When he saw the aurors with their crossbows in the distance, it came as a relief. If they killed him, he wouldn't be forced to realize what he had done in the morning. They might even be able to stop him before…

The sudden sharp pain in his left shoulder convinced him that he had been shot. As well, this was it. He hadn't harmed anybody and would never have the chance to do that as a werewolf. He did indeed slow down now and finally collapsed. He welcomed the thought and didn't mind the fact that it would mean that he would die in a few minutes time.

He didn't, though. When he opened his eyes, it was dark because there was no full moon to give light to the scene in his bedroom. Severus was bewildered and checked his shoulder to find that he had hit the nightstand in his reaction to this disturbing dream.

He was shivering. His nightshirt was soaked in sweat and his heart was beating like mad. Somehow, somewhere in the back of his mind he had dreaded that. He had feared that there would still be nightmares. Not the same ones, though. And somehow he had also hoped that there wouldn't be any more of them. That with him being one of the beasts he feared so much, there would be no need to dream of them anymore.

Did you really think that, Severus? You should have known better, he told himself. But how could he have foreseen that the dream would change in that way? This was unfair, truly unfair. He sighed. Now he had experienced for the first time what most other werewolves feared during their whole life: to lose control over the beast and harm other people.

It was no use sitting in bed with his wet nightshirt. He got up to have a hot shower and changed into a fresh nightshirt. Afterwards he fell back on his proven remedy of drinking hot chocolate, but it didn't send him to sleep this time. He lay awake for the rest of the night until morning dawned.

He wouldn't have slept anyway, being not too keen on having another dream of that kind the same night. While he was lying there, he watched the half moon through a gap of the curtains. This was certainly a bad start of the whole thing. He had thought, or better promised himself, to go through this with all the determination he could muster, and alone. He didn't want to run crying to Remus at the first difficulty. Well, the other werewolf was responsible for him and would certainly understand, but Severus was bend on coping with his condition, and with as little help from others as possible. He had to cope for the rest of his life, hadn't he? So he had better start to arrange with his lycanthropy right from the beginning. And he would, he damn would. He could still go and ask Remus for help later, if the problems didn't cease, but not immediately.

To put this decision into action, he got up, went through his bathroom routine, had his usual breakfast, consisting of cereal, tea and toast. He even had his newspaper and could have read the issues of the past weeks as well if he had wanted to, as the house elves who had looked after his flat hadn't thrown them away but piled them up neatly. After breakfast, he continued to keep up his daily routine. As he was still on sick leave he couldn't go to work. Being so boring, that wouldn't have the desired effect of distracting him anyway. Except from work there was another thing he could do and that was shopping. Despite a well filled fridge he could still refill his stocks, and who knew, maybe he would invite some people he knew, one day, perhaps. Therefore it would be good to have some variety of food things.

It was late afternoon when he finally returned home. He had spent all morning with buying vegetables, tinned food, fish and meat and had had lunch in a small café near his flat. After that he had brought his shopping home, but had quickly left again for a walk in a park he had come to like. Being winter, the sun was to set early and it was quite cold, so after two hours of vigorous walking he returned to the warmth of his flat. But it was not only the cold which was driving him back. He had found that while walking, his mind had started wandering around and he had unavoidably ended up thinking about the obvious.

He decided that being busy would definitely be better. Therefore he chose a ridiculously complicated recipy from a cookbook, which turned out to be so extravagant that any person in charge of cooking who was right in her or his mind would have thrown it into the bin. But not Severus. He was glad that he had found something that was remotely demanding enough to keep his mind busy. If it would taste nice in the end, even better, if not well … he wasn't hungry anyway.

It did, though. He ended up with so much salad, three different ones, in fact, that he had enough to give some to Mrs Forrester who was pleased to see her neighbour again. That way, Severus had the opportunity to tell her a story of having had a bad bout of influenza and had ended up in hospital.

Having eaten, Severus saw to it that he took extra long time to clean up the kitchen and store away the rest of the food he had bought. He than read a bit in the old newspapers while he had a herbal tea for the night. But that was about all to stretch the time before going into bed, and he was really tired by now. Before he went into the bathroom he opened all windows to get fresh air into his flat. If all those preparations weren't going to help him to a sound sleep, he wouldn't know what else to do. Before he finally went to bed, after he had found the rooms well aired, he closed all windows except the one in his bedroom which he left open a few inches. This was no new invention of him. Sleeping in cool air was something which had always done him good. It seemed that it worked well, because he fell asleep easily, hoping not to experience what he was afraid of.

But it didn't. When he woke, the picture which remained from his last dream, was painfully clear in his mind. It would have needed only a few seconds and he would have had the little boy by his throat.

Again, his nightshirt was soaked in sweat and clung to his body. He pulled the blankets close around him, but that didn't make him warmer. The cool air which came from the window didn't feel pleasant anymore, but was like a threat, freezing him to the bone. This time, he didn't have the nerve to get up and get changed. Shuddering, he pulled the blankets even closer. He remained sitting in bed to prevent him from falling asleep while he waited for the morning light.

This uncomfortable position didn't have the desired effect, because when the sun rose, he woke from a short and not very restful sleep with a stiff neck. This and the fact that everybody has to use the bathroom from time to time, drove him out of bed and under a hot shower. It helped to drive away the stiffness a bit, but didn't really warm him through. Severus felt as if he had been in cold water too long. The procedure hadn't raised his appetite either. Therefore, an hour later, he found himself stirring listlessly in a bowl of cornflakes which had gone soggy by the time.

Disheartened by the failure of yesterday's strategy he didn't see any point of repeating the shopping tour and this "keeping busy and pretending everything is as always"-thing. But staying at home and waiting for the next night wasn't an option, as he soon found out after having tried to read or to watch television. He was neither able to concentrate enough nor to relax sufficiently to listen to his favourite CDs.

After pacing through his rooms for some time, he found that physical activity would be the only means to prevent him from running up the walls in despair and decided to go out for a walk again. Having left his flat he ended up roaming London on foot for hours, this time without a tea break.

When he came home, he still wasn't hungry. To warm himself up he only brewed a tea, but he drank only half a mug and let the rest go cold. Again, he tried to busy himself with different activities, but he wasn't able to sit still for long, so after having tried to read in the newspaper or some of his favourite books several times, and after trying out some of his CDs again, he gave up and decided to go to bed after all. If there was another nightmare waiting for him, it would be unavoidable and he would experience it anyway.

Therefore he finally went to bed, awaiting the unavoidable with his heart speeding up and the unhappy thought that he had given up fairly soon. After two nights, already forgotten what he had sworn himself, to fight through this. How disappointing. At other times he would probably have resorted to sleeping potions. But they were not meant to be used permanently, had side effects, and some, taken over a long period of time even caused nightmares themselves.

He couldn't remember being that afraid in his whole life before. One should think he had experienced similar horrors, but those had been kind of predictable, even at times when he had been near death. In most cases he had been responsible for the situation, had the control - or that was at least what he had made believe himself. He had known what he was doing and why he was doing it. And he could have given up his spying job any moment, if he had felt it becoming too dangerous, theoretically. That was at least what Dumbledore had always offered him: to back out. This was very different now.

When he woke up in the middle of the night as already expected, having experienced another unbidden werewolf self who, this time, had bitten. The taste of blood he had in his mouth was so genuine that he had to vomit right there on the beedsheets. As the energy to clean up was lacking him, he went to the sitting room, grabbed another blanket and crawled into a corner of the sofa. That was it. I'll ring up Remus in the morning, he thought. He was so desperate that he would have liked to ring him immediately, but the last bit of dignity he had in him prevented that. He didn't want to go to the other werewolf whining. In the morning, things would look less gloomy and he would have enough time to think about what to tell Remus while he was sitting and waiting for the sun to rise.

-----

He needn't have worried about any proceedings, especially how to hide his desparation from the werewolf, because around eight 'o clock, when it was still dark, his doorbell rang and Severus opened the door to a very concerned looking Remus.

'I should've known that something was wrong. You look horrible, Severus! As I haven't heard from you the last two days I thought I would come round on my way to work to see if everything is alright. It's quite obvious that it isn't. What's wrong, Severus? Why didn't you phone me?'

Severus had remained standing in the doorway staring at the other werewolf, leaving Remus standing outside in the corridor.

'Can I come in?'

'I was planning to do that.'

'What?' Remus looked confused, especially since Severus was still blocking the door.

'Ring you up. I wanted to, right now. In the morning.'

'Well, if you have a problem you want to tell me, shouldn't we better discuss that inside?' Remus tried carefully, not quite sure what to make of Severus' strange behaviour.

'I… Sorry, Remus. Come in.'

He finally stepped aside and let the other werewolf in. After having closed the door, he lead the way to the kitchen.

'Nice place,' Remus commented after having had a quick look while they passed the other rooms.

'Yes. Well, it's nothing special.'

'You live in a Muggle surrounding as well, don't you?' Severus enquired, glad to have found a subject to talk about, apart from his problem. That way it would hopefully be a bit easier to speak to Remus about all that was bothering him.

'Yes, but it's not so modern, rather … how shall I put it … a bit run down? Though regarding my landlady, we are living in a posh quarter there.' He snorted and shrugged his shoulders. 'Her way to see it, and a reason to raise the rent frequently, of course. No use to argue about it either.'

'Have you got a lot of contact with the Muggles in your house?'

'Not that much, really. I am away a lot and most of the time they are at work as well, of course. But we do talk. I don't go to any Halloween parties, though,' Remus grinned at Severus. 'Not that there are any, as far as I know at least.'

Severus indicated a chair to Remus to sit down at the table and Remus followed this invitation only too gladly.

'Would you like some tea?' Severus asked and scolded himself for acting so formal. That way he would never find a way to talk to Remus about his problems openly.

'Yes, thanks,'Remus answered. His face showed much anticipation, obviously waiting for Severus to start to talk.

While he was preparing the tea he heard a low rumbling sound behind him which, Severus guessed, if he wasn't much mistaken, would have been Remus stomach.

'Did you have any breakfast, Severus?'

'No, and I am not going to.' Severus had turned around aprubtly. 'If you want to talk me into eating, because of all this werewolf rubbish about having to eat regularly …' he began quite aggressively - he didn't know why, because Remus hadn't done anything to him, but somehow he felt in a position where he had to defend himself.

'No no, Severus. It's ok,' Remus held his hands up as if to calm the other werewolf down. 'I will do no such thing. No need to react that way, is there? I am only asking because I didn't have any and I am starving. I could do with a toast or two, actually.'

He regarded Severus in a peculiar way, as if he wanted to size him up and conclude from his reaction his further behaviour.

'Yes sure.' Severus turned back to continue with his breakfast prepartions.

'Severus, there is nothing wrong with needing help, you know. But you have to let me. I can't do anything for you if you don't tell me what happened and what you want me to do.'

Severus took a deep breath. Better to begin right away and to tell him. He remained standing and crossed his arms over his chest.

'I … I don't think I will be able to stand being in this flat on my own any longer. You and the healers at St. Mungo's were right, of course. I shouldn't have stayed on my own.'

He paused and turned to give Remus a mug full of tea and a plate with toast.

'Thank you.' Remus looked at him searchingly. 'It's nightmares again, isn't it?'

Severus mind was obviously quite easy to read, even without Legilimency. 'Yes. But they are different this time. I am the beast and I … bite … people.'

Severus hardly dare to speak the last words out loud. He looked at Remus, waiting for an answer, for some help.

Remus shrugged his shoulders. 'I am no therapist, Severus, but it clearly shows that because of your condition, you fear to harm other people.'

Severus, who was beginning to feel more and more uncomfortable during this conversation, was disappointed by Remus' statement.

'Oh yes? Great!' I could have guessed that myself easily. Isn't there anything else you can tell me?' he snapped.

Remus ignored Severus' behaviour and continued indifferently.

'As I have suggested before, you can stay at my place. Change of place, perspective, meet new people … Maybe that is going to help.'

Severus was unnerved and slammed his fist on the table.

'As simple as that! Yes? But you aren't even sure, Remus. And there I thought you were the expert in this field.' Severus was unnverved.

Remus, on the other hand, seemed to have expected this and stayed calm, but was looking still very seriously. Severus wondered if he had to deal often with people who were difficult like him. The werewolf social worker continued unmoved.

'I am sorry to say that, Severus, but you are not the first werewolf who happens to have nightmares and you most certainly will not be the last. These things happen and the only thing I have to offer is to stay with you and to give you the chance too change you surroundings. That's all. It often helps, you know, just to have someone to talk to.'

There was nothing Severus could say against this and he was much too desperate to decline Remus' offer s second time. He waited a few seconds to calm down a bit before he answered.

All right, I … I'll get a few things and I will come with you.'

He was about to turn to leave the kitchen in order to do that when Remus interrupted him.

'Good. I think you should stay until the first Moon. Therefore it would be wise to take all your food things with you. They needn't turn bad. Not that I expect to play cook for me, but didn't you say you were cooking quite a lot? That would keep you a bit busy.'

'I have tried that strategy, it didn't work. But I'll do it anyway. If you don't mind, you can collect all the things from the kitchen you like, and I will look for my personal things.' He was glad, that their conversation was back to normal now.

They proceeded as Severus had suggested.

When they were about to leave the flat, Severus asked curiously: Weren't you on you way to work when you came?'

'Yes, but I only go to the office when there are no clients to visit, to check my in-tray and to do some paperwork. I didn't have any appointment at my department or with another werewolf, and as I was obviously needed here, my work started right here,' Remus informed him.

'I see.'

Severus shut the door to his flat and they left. He was actually curious about Remus place, as he didn't know many wizards' living quarters, especially those in a Muggle environment.


	15. 15 Werewolves at home II

15 Werewolves at home II 

When they entered Remus' flat, Remus, while searching for the light switch, upsat a stack of books which had been leaning at the wall next to the door. Living in a Muggle environment, like Severus, he mostly used Muggle technology for everyday tasks. Electricity was such a thing. Severus knew that living in a flat in a Muggle house without using electricity would raise suspicion.

'Now, don't comment on my style of living, Severus, please,' Remus said while he piled the books to a new stack with one hand, holding the food bag in the other. Severus had closed the door behind them but remained standing, watching the other werewolf, who caused the books to topple over again.

'I wasn't planning to do that,' he answered, but couldn't help smirking. 'This is your place, and it's not up to me to critizise the way you live or your flat. Actually, it looks quite comfortable,' he added.

And Severus meant what he was saying. Although he himself was more the type of person who had everything in order. An order to a degree that it would strike many people as very fussy and which would never lead to a homely atmosphere in a place where he was living. But Severus' background prevented him from allowing the slightest disorder. If you were dealing with potion making, the tiniest mistake could lead to a catastrophy, even death. That was not only true in respect of potion making, but had also been his prominent rule when he had been a spy. As his former life hadn't consisted of much more than these two things, he simply had transferred this habit to what one would call his "private" life as well.

'Well,' Remus looked up from his task sceptically. It was quite obvious that he didn't believe Severus. Though he didn't comment any further but led the way round his flat.

'There's the kitchen, my bedroom, the living-room - the sofa can be transformed into a bed, if that's okay for you - bathroom. Make yourself at home. It's not very spacious, but it's enough for me and the odd visitor from time to time.'

Severus stood in the corridor, feeling a bit out of place in this flat which was another man's home. Still not being used to receive help from other people, even if it was Remus, a person he had known for quite a long time now, he felt like an intruder.

'The sofa will be fine, thanks.'

'Hm.' Remus seemed to ponder over something. 'Will it be okay for you if I leave you alone for some time, Severus? I really do have to check my mail in the office.'

'Yes, sure.'

'Right. Then, … if you want anything to do, I have got loads of literature about, well, … the obvious, … lycanthropy, of course. But its not sorted, I mean, I just collect about everything about our condition. Sometime, I guess, I will sort everything out, but I just haven't got the time.'

'I see.' Severus raised his eyebrows, giving him a questioning look.

'Well. You can read the stuff, if you like.' Remus made a gesture with his hands and seemed to be a bit embarrassed, now that Severus had seen his flat which was indeed a bit untidy, even to non-potions-masters standards. 'I mean, you were planning to do some research on lycanthropy and the wolfsbane potion, weren't you? You can use everything in my flat as if it was your own. Well, the food things in the kitchen are mostly yours anyway. Just make yourself comfortable, all right?'

'I will. Don't worry, Remus. You don't mind if I sort the books and journal articles a bit?'

'No, no. Please yourself, Severus. … Hey, don't think that I invited you to tidy up my flat!' Remus grinned sheepishly.

'No, you'd better not, because you wouldn't be able to pay me.' Severus grinned back maliciously. 'Overqualified that's called, I think.'

When Remus saw that Severus wasn't serious about it, he smiled.

'Well, have fun. I am off. See you.'

'Yes, sure.' Severus answered but wasn't really giving much attention as his eye had caught a relatively recent article on lycanthropy cut out rather carelessly from 'Healer's Weekly' on top of another stack of books and journals. He took it, found himself a cosy place on the sofa and began to read.

…

Hours and many articles and book chapters later, Severus realized that he hadn't eaten nor drunk for some time which was obviously the reason for his developing headache. He went into the kitchen where he found the bags they had brought from his flat still unpacked. He poured himself a glass of milk and made a sandwich. While he was eating with one hand, he started storing away the food things with the other. That done, he went back into the living room to continue his reading and sorting.

He had to catch up a lot on his subject because since he had been forced to stop the actual potion brewing he had practically given up dealing with everything related to it. Well, he had tried to keep up with things at first, but it had been too frustrating after some time and he had given up reading anything about potions. Now he felt like in trance, virtually sucking up everything new he could find in Remus' collection.

He had completely lost track of time when Remus finally came home, his face showing distinct traces of being overworked and tired.

'Hi Severus. Oh, I see you've already worked a lot,' he commented when he saw Severus sitting on the floor amongst the different stacks of literature on the floor, which he had labelled neatly. 'You shouldn't, I mean, you're still a reconvalescent, you know.' Remus frowned, concerned. 'Did you eat anything?'

'Yes, at lunch time.' Severus didn't look up, he just wanted to finish this very fascinating article about the influence of an eclipse of the moon on werewolves.

Remus let himself drop in one of the two old armchairs and yawned. Severus looked up, suddenly realizing that he was acting quite unpolite towards his host.

'Oh, I am sorry, Remus. I was so occupied with this. It's really fascinating. I didn't know how I was actually missing this. I should have prepared some dinner, shouldn't I? Shall I make us some sandwiches?'

'Hm. Yes. Good idea.'

'What do you want on them?'

'Anything. Do them as you like.'

Severus put the book he had been reading on one of the stacks and got up, groaning and stretching. Sitting motionless for hours had taken its toll of him.

He went in the kitchen and prepared some cheese and tomato sandwiches and filled two glasses with orange juice.

They finished their meal quickly without any conversation, Remus being obviously too worn out and Severus not knowing what to talk about. Altough he had been gathering a lot of information by going through all the articles and books, he was tired too and didn't want to bother the other werewolf with complicated theories on potions.

Remus stretched his legs and yawned again.

'I don't want to keep you up unnecessarily, Remus. I am quite tired, too. I think I'll have another go at sleeping, nightmares or not.' Severus sighed, not really convinced about what he was saying. The fact that he had occupied himself the whole day with reading had somehow suppressed all thoughts of what he was dreading.

'Hm. I've got an idea. I don't know if it will be any good, but … what if I stayed awake to watch you, and if I find any signs of you having a nightmare, I could wake you up to end it before it'll get worse?'

'Well. You look as if you could do with some sleep as well, but if it helps … I' d be grateful, of course.'

It didn't feel right for Severus that Remus, overworked and tired as he was, should spend the night awake, watching over him. But that was obviously typical for him: helping others even against his own good. Severus watched wearily while the other werewolf elongated the sofa and transformed it into a bed with another wave of his wand.

After both had had their turn in the bathroom, Severus settled on his sofa and was definitely more comfortable than Remus who huddled under a blanket in one of the armchairs opposite Severus.

He was tired and felt safer in company, glad that Remus had taken it upon himself to watch him and, if necessary, wake him up in time. Although he doubted the practical value of this strategy, he felt quite grateful about it and fell asleep easily.

-----------

When he woke, Severus didn't know if the flash of light and the scream had been part of a dream or not. It was still in the middle of the night, or at least pitch dark outside. His heart was beating quicker than usual but he didn't feel as bad as after a full nightmare. He listened and meant to hear heavy breathing which was probably Remus.

'Remus?' he whispered.

No answer.

Unsure what to do, but fearing that something bad had happened, he scrambled from his bed and felt his way towards where he remembered the light switch. By the time he had found it, his eyes had got used to the darkness and he would have seen Remus anyway, but the comparatively blinding light helped to make the scene Severus was looking at only more disturbing.

Remus was sitting on the floor amidst toppled over book stacks, ashen faced, holding his head and staring at Severus with an expression of terror in his eyes. Severus could also see blood on Remus' hands. He didn't understand at first. Something terrible must have happened, but he didn't remember having done anything, not to speak of attacking the other werewolf.

'REMUS! What on earth …?'

'You could have warned me that you are able to curse and do wandless magic while you are asleep. That would've been fair, wouldn't it?' Remus said reproachful in a hoarse voice.

'What do you mean? Did I do that? Did I hit you? I can't remember a thing!'

'No? You don't remember that you tried to curse me when I wanted to wake you?' Remus' voice was shaking. 'Severus! You … you nearly killed me with an unforgivable! You used the Avada kedavra, asleep and wandless!' Remus' terrified expression hadn't left his face and he was still fighting for breath.

So that was where the flash of light had come from when he had woken up. Severus was horrified. How could he have forgotten! He would have never believed that he would still be able to do that. He had actually never had the chance to test this terrible skill of his. No, he had always taken precautions that there would never be a posibility to injure somebody unintentionally.

Severus felt sick. He was such a nuisance. Not even safe to fall asleep in company, dangerous to others. He wasn't able to say anything to Remus, he felt too bad about this. The best thing would be to leave now and to return to his own place, but he was like paralysed, looking helplessly at the other werewolf, who was still staring at him as if he had never experienced anything worse, which was probably true in this case.

After a minute of silence, Severus felt that he couldn't stand this any longer and had to do something. He decided for something practical. Therefore he moved to go into the kitchen to get some ice for Remus' head.

When he came back into the living room to hand Remus the ice he had put into a folded tea towel, the other werewolf got his voice back.

'Where did you learn that? Death eater training camp?' Remus asked while he pressed the pack of ice on the side of his head where the curse had grazed him.

'No, there wasn't such a thing. We were a small group of … followers,' Severus spat the last word, 'together with Lucius Malfoy, and trained this amongst other things.'

'Impressive,' Remus sneered, shaking his head in disbelief. 'But …? How do you live with this … this skill, if you are not really able to control it? If you've got family, for example?' He seemed to have recovered a bit from the shock and was on his way to get his nerves back by talking about what had nearly killed him a minute ago.

'Well, I was always on my own,' Severus sighed and sat down on his bed, leaning forward and propping his elbows on his knees to hide his face in his hands. He now recognized that his knees were quite shaky, but he was glad that Remus didn't throw him out right away and that they were able to have something like a conversation.

'At Hogwarts, well, there were a lot of wards around my quarters, anyway. Because of all the potion ingredients, and to help to occlude my real identity. Albus and Minerva knew the counterspells, of course, but they were informed about my special "skills".' He paused, looking up at Remus, who was listening intently, with an expression still showing the shock he was under.

'But that was ages ago, Remus! Honestly, I had no idea! I have never used that against anybody. I would've never thought that I would be able to do this, not having done magic for over two years and all. Never!'

Severus desperation was becoming stronger and he thought that he didn't know what he would do if Remus would throw him out and he had to spend the days before his first transformation alone … alone with nightmares and the constant remembrance that he had nearly killed somebody … somebody he thought quite highly of and whose help he needed so desperately.

'I believe you Severus, and I can't really blame you, or let's say it's not alone your fault. There are always risks if you work with werewolves, especially werewolves with a background of dark magic,' he shrugged his shoulders.

Typically Remus, to be that forgiving, Severus thought but was glad, of course, that he took it like that. Maybe they could ease the tension further by talking a bit. Severus cleared his throat.

'May I ask, … how did you manage to evade the curse?'

'I think it wasn't strong enough and didn't hit me directly, and I, … well, frankly, I was a bit weary when I went over to wake you. To be more precise, that moment the moon shone onto your bed and the light fell onto your left arm and the scar. That gave me the idea to be careful and to have my wand ready. That way I was able to deflect most of its force.'

Remus paused and turned his head carefully as if to look for the traces the curse would have produced after he had forced it into another direction. Severus followed his look and there were, unmistakebly, signs on the wall where a very violent curse had finally found a solid barrier.

'But I hadn't counted on an unforgivable.'

'Who would?' Severus sighed. Then, unexpectantly, his stomach made a loud noise.

'Sorry.'

'Never mind, Severus. Although werewolves are hardly ever really hungry, it can also be the other way round, meaning you can have unexpected attacks of sudden hunger in the most inappropriate situations. But as we have to eat as much as possible, don't hesitate to get yourself something to bite. And while you are at it, I wouldn't mind something myself,' Remus encouraged him.

'I think that was the last of the bread we had when I made us sandwiches earlier. And I have to admit that I'm not really in the mood of cooking something. Shall I call a pizza service?'

'Are there any who deliver in the middle of the night?' Remus, not that familiar with Muggle customs, asked unbelievingly.

'If not in London, where else?' Severus laughed. 'I think I might even have an advertisement of one amongst my papers in my coat. Wait, I'll go and have a look.'

Glad to be able to do something useful, he got up and went for the corridor where their coats were hanging. He needed less than a minute to find what he was looking for. He had no idea why he had kept the small leaflet with the menu of the 24 hours pizza service, but it didn't matter now.

'What would you like,' Severus enquired goodnaturedly, now that he had something sensible to do and could forget for a moment about what he had nearly done only a minute ago.

'Anything. Something with lots of vegetables in it, perhaps. I still believe that it helps to bear the transformation if you eat healthy things.'

'On it.'

'Huh?'

'On it. The stuff is on the pizza, not in it. Have you never had one before?'

'Yes, of course, but they are sometimes folded and then the ingredients are inside, aren't they? Well, maybe that wasn't a proper pizza, I'm not quite sure, it was some time ago.'

'It seems that I know more of Muggles than you do, Remus. Although I haven't spent that much time amongst them. And there I thought there wasn't anything I could teach you.'

'Oh please, go ahead, but …. after we have eaten. I won't mind listening to a lecture so much then,' Remus laughed at Severus.

'Did I give the impression that I was planning on a lecture? But what I would need now, is your mobile phone, Remus. You've still got it, haven't you?' Severus raised his brows questioningly as if he was in doubt about it.

'Yes, of course.' Remus got up and went into the corridor where Severus could hear him rummaging in diverse pockets of cloaks. There was also a sound which Severus identified as another stack of books collapsing.

'Oophs. There it is. Here you are, Severus. Battery fully loaded and all.' Remus came back and handed him the mobile, looking triumphantly.

'Right. Let's take the vegetarian one, shall we? I don't know if it can be considered healthy, but it sounds all right on the menu.'

Severus dialled the number and waited.

'Jack's Twenty-Four-Hours Pizza Express, Jodie speaking, how can I help you?' a female, busy sounding voice answered.

'I'd like two vegetarian pizzas,' Severus answered. 'And … can you make them with extra tomatoes?'

'Yes, sure. Two vegetarians, extra tomatoes. Small, middle or large?'

'Middle.'

'Right, and your address?'

'265 Dorset Street. Third floor.'

'Thank you for your order. We'll deliver in about, let's see… 25 Minutes.'

'Thank you.'

Remus was clearly impressed.

'It's that easy, is it?'

'In general, yes. But don't think I am doing this often. And I haven't tried that pizza service before, so I can't tell you anything about the quality.'

While they were waiting for the delivery of their unconventional nightly meal, Remus tried to tidy up and resort the books or, rather, build up new stacks. Severus had opened the living room windows to renew the air in the room which had become quite stuffy and went into the kitchen to organize plates.

When the pizza man came, and it hadn't needed more than the promised 25 minutes, he did not only carry the two pizza boxes but also two bottles of wine.

'You are the lucky winner for tonight!' he announced, beaming. 'As the 33rd

customer after midnight you are entitled to two bottles of wine. Our special game this month!'

'Oh. Thank you. Very kind,' Severus answered politely.

Even if he seemed to know more of Muggle customs than Remus, he wasn't very familiar with their means of promotion, but the way the young man acted, it seemed to be something normal in the Muggle world.

'What do I owe you?

'Fifteen fifty.'

'The rest is for you.' Severus handed him sixteen pounds. He had seen this on television and thought it only to be fair to give a tip to somebody who worked to deliver pizzas in London at night.

'Thank you, sir. Have a pleasant night. Bye.' The man winked at him cheeerfully before he turned to descend the stairs.

Severus shook his head. If the pizza man would have known that he wasn't delivering his pizzas for a, what he was obviously thinking, amorous rendevous, but to two desperate werewolves who had to calm their stomachs and their nerves, he wouldn't have been so cheerful.

He carried his load to the living room where Remus was waiting expectantly.

'There you are. Let's start, before they get cold.'

'That was quick. Smells good. What's that?' Remus indicated the two bottles Severus was carrying under his arms.

'We won it. Some Muggle marketing strategy. Well, as you said you don't consume anything intoxicating so short before the full moon, I'd better store them away …'

'Oh, I don't know. That's just an idea of mine. Others live vegetarian, some don't eat at all the last days before the moon. I do not really believe in this, it's just … well, to do something, … not to feel so helpless, you know.'

'Hm. There's nothing to be said against a glass of wine to a pizza, I guess.'

Severus put the pizza cartons on small table in front of the sofa and placed the bottles on it as well.

'Have you got a corkscrew?'

Remus shook his head and laughed. He took his wand out of his left sleeve, tapped the neck of one of the bottles lightly and the cork popped out easily.

'I forgot that I am in a wizard's household,' Severus said apologetically and looked longingly at the magical instrument.

'No, sorry, Severus. No more wandwaving for you. Remember, what happened … '

'Ok, ok. I didn't ask, did I?' Severus retorted offended.

'I am sorry, if I hurt you, Severus,' Remus apologized quickly, 'but … it's just easier that way and … well, you'll see, maybe everything will be ok again after the full moon. I don't want to give you any false hopes but I've got the feeling that you won't lose your magic again. Your magic had always been so strong …'

Severus didn't answer. He would know in a few days time. If it would only be over soon. He hated this uncertainty. The only thing he knew for certain was, that this was the only time that he couldn't wait to see the full moon rising.

In the meantime, Remus had conjured two glasses for the wine and had already filled them. Severus was stopped in his line of thought when Remus put one of the glasses in front of him.

'To your health, Severus!'

'To yours, Remus.'

They both drank a bit before they opened the cartons. As the pizzas had already been sliced, they didn't bother for knives and forks but just started eating.

They ate silently for a while, only paused briefly to sip at their wines now and then.

Finally, Remus was the one who opened the conversation again.

'By the way, Severus, did you have a nightmare before I woke you? It looked like it, you know. You seemed to be quite restless in your sleep,' he enquired after making a pause from eating.

'Oh, I … don't remember. And even if I had one, does it matter now?' Severus, finding the pizza quite tasty, took another bite.

'No, probably not.' Remus shrugged his shoulders and continued eating.

At some point he refilled their glasses and when they finished their pizzas, he filled them a third time. Severus feeled quite relaxed by now, knowing full well that this was due to the alcohol he normally only drank rather small amounts of. While Remus started on his third glass, Severus hesitated. He didn't want to risk losing control again. Two glasses had already been more than enough, but the circumstances, the shock in the middle of the night and the pizza, which had made him quite thirsty had led him to some carelessness which was quite unusual for him.

Anyway, he felt comfortable and relaxed enough to start the conversation anew.

'You know, I had this idea about you having a cage in your flat!'

'A cage? … What for?' Remus asked, speaking rather slow now. It was only then that Severus realized that the alcohol had taken its toll of Remus as well but that he, unlike Severus, had definitely had more than was good for him. While Severus had thought it wiser not to start on his third glass, he noticed that Remus had finished his quickly, and was about to start on his fourth.

'Well, to spend the night of the full moon in. Just in case you don't make it to the Ministry in time, or to keep another werewolf in,' Severus went into more detail, observing Remus critically.

Remus looked at him questioningly and needed a few seconds to react.

'Funny. A cage? In a Muggle envi… envio… well Muggle place. And what …. whattttabout the … howling?' he started to giggle and took another big gulp from his glass.

Remus was definitely drunk now. Severus decided that this had to end as soon as possible, he just had no idea how to persuade Remus to go to bed and sleep.

'How shall I know? There are spells you can cast to keep the sounds in a room. Anyway, it was just an idea.'

'Huh? The Minisssry …….would ne … ne'er allow ….' Remus stopped in mid sentence, staring confused at Severus.

'Right. Don't you think it would be better if we went to bed? I don't know about you, but it's in the middle of the night and I can feel a headache approaching from this stuff. It's obviously quite cheap,' Severus tried.

'But … but I …. I've to wash… watch … you. If youf …ann… nnother nigh'mare.'

'No thank you. I don't want to risk another accident of that kind. This time, I might be able to actually kill you, because you are hardly able to defend yourself.'

Severus stood up and approached Remus, hoping that he wouldn't show too much resistance. He was well aware that this could lead to a dangerous situation. You never knew how a drunken wizard would react. He was prepared to use a stunning spell on Remus, should he start doing anything weird, anything remotely looking like a curse. With his wand lying out of reach on the table and Remus being not very good at wandless magic, Severus should be relatively safe, but he didn't want to take any risks. He made a move to get between Remus' wand and it's owner.

'Defffennnce?' Remus blinked at Severus. 'I am a …. def …….defffennnnce teasher!' he protested.

'Fine,' Severus said unmoved, eyeing the other werewolf cautiously. 'But not tonight. Bed it is now, I think,' he ordered strictly.

Remus nodded and didn't show any signs of resistance when Severus bent down to pull him up from the sofa. He was obviously quite docile when drunk. That made things easier. Less easy was the way to Remus' bedroom. Once he had left the relative safety of his place on the sofa, Remus became quite disorientated and tried to drag Severus towards all possible directions, except his bedroom. After a few minutes of struggling, Severus managed to push him onto his bed and before the other werewolf could get out of it again or do anything stupid, Severus covered him tightly with a few layers of blankets.

' I …n… not …….drunk.' The intoxicated werewolf struggled to get up again.

'Well, that's a matter of opinion. But we can discuss it if you want. If you are able to build one sensible sentence I'll let you out of bed again.' Severus leaned back against the doorframe, his arms folded and couldn't help grinning maliciously.

'Uuh. What? I…. donnn…' Remus looked slightly disheartened.

'See?' Severus didn't make an effort to keep the triumph out of his voice. 'You sleep,' he went on, trying to sound even more strict. 'It's late - well, early actually, anyway. Your headache will come soon enough tomorrow. I'll take the chance to try to sleep as well. I am tired enough now.'

The fact that Remus didn't protest anymore - especially not after being treated like a naughty child - told Severus that his strategy and probably even more the tiring effect of the alcohol finally seemed to cause the desired reaction from Remus. He gave in and let himself fall back into the cushions. Severus went out of the room and turned the light off, but waited for a moment until he could be sure by the snoring sounds that the other werewolf was actually asleep. He then went to his own bed in the living room, didn't care to put it straight again, but just went under the crumpled blankets. He was dead tired. Fortunately he was spared this time and, at least as far as he could tell, didn't dream.

-------------------

'Remus! REMUS!'

A somewhat familiar and very loud voice seemed to explode directly in his ear which was nearest to the fireplace and caused Severus to jump violently. Despite the effects of the alcohol and his sleep deficit, he managed to direct his view in the direction of the shouting and looked straight into Harry's eyes, whose head was hanging there in mid air, obviously transferred by using the floo network. While the younger wizard seemed to look worried and a bit angry at the same time, Severus tried not to look too sleepy.

'Where is he? And what are YOU doing here?' Harry demanded imperiously.

'If you must know,' the older wizard answered with a pained voice, sitting up to appear a bit more decent, if that's at all possible if you wake up on a sofa in full clothes after a night as Severus and Remus had just experienced, with far from enough sleep to get over it. 'I was having some problems and before I would freak out completely, Remus suggested that I stay with him until the first moon.'

'So! And there you decided to have a little party and drink yourself silly, didn't you? What have you done with him?' Harry went on louder, by now enraged.

Severus squinted his eyes to get a closer look on the enfuriated auror's face and sat up straighter before he chose to answer. He had never expected Potter to trust his former Potions teacher fully, and Severus had certainly never come to really like his former student. Their relationship could be characterized as a mixture of respect and a kind of truce, which they had developed over the years and which was mainly based on their experience of their fight against the Dark Lord. But this behaviour was far from what Severus could tolerate. To him it looked like a relapse to former times when his opponent had still been a student.

'May I remind you that it is solely Remus choice whom he invites home and that he will certainly not need your permission to have 'a party' or whatever you may call it,' Severus began in a calm but dangerously low voice.

Severus was quite enraged now himself. True, they had been quite careless last night. First with the nearly fatal accident he'd rather not think about and would certainly never tell Harry about, then with the wine. But he didn't think that he was in a position where he had to explain himself (well, he only would have had to if he had killed Remus). He was the other werewolf's guest and as such it was all Remus' business.

He felt his anger increasing and decided that he had to get rid of this conceited young man as soon as possible. Not only because he was annoyed, but even more so as the headache he had been feeling when he was woken up so suddenly was definitely becoming stronger.

'He is in bed. That's at least where he was when I last saw him. Where else would he be after "drinking himself silly" or whatever you are calling it,' he snapped. 'But that's also none of your business, young man.'

'Right. I would appreciate it, if you could wake him up and tell him that I want to talk to him,' Harry retorted in in mock formality which finally caused Severus to lose it for a moment.

'YOU!' he barked at the Harry furiously and made a step towards the fireplace, pointing with his forfinger and was about to start a tirade about how to behave properly in the presence of older wizards, but suddenly stopped himself before his outburst would get out of hand. This was not worth it, was it?

'Oh, just sod off.' With that he turned on his heels (rather socks) and marched off towards the bathroom where he thought a good long shower, followed by some aspirin and a coffe later should help to chase away his headache and clear his mind.

He noticed only vaguely that Harry was shouting something probably rude after him, but didn't care.

---

Later, in the kitchen, after his second rather strong cup of coffee he was still irritated by the young auror's unexpected "visit". Really, what had Potter been thinking? He surely would tell Remus all about their conversation. Although he doubted that Remus would have any more influence on the young auror, but Severus thought that the other werewolf should know about Harry's behaviour towards his godfather's guest. Just as Severus pondered on the option of having another cup of coffee or another aspirin (the ingredients of a headache potion would have been much the same and as he had had no opportunity yet to collect a stock of ingredients, not to speak of brewing a potion, even a simple one - he also doubted if Remus would let him have an open fire in his flat to put the cauldron on - he resorted to Muggle medication) the dorbell rang.

He very much hoped that it wouldn't be Harry. He hesitated for a moment if he should answer the door at all, but it could be something or somebody important for Remus, so he went. When he passed the bathroom and saw his clothes from the day before he had also worn at night and who were quite crumpled lying on the floor, he realized that he wasn't dressed decently enough to open the door to whoever was standing in front of it. After the shower he hadn't cared about that, just put on some fresh underwear and grabbed an old bathrobe of his host. He dashed into the bathroom put on his shirt and trousers quickly and made haste to finally open the door.

It wasn't Harry. But the person who was standing in front of him didn't seem to be in a better mood as the young auror had been in before. What was more, her attire and even more the haughty expression she was wearing made him aware that he was probably not meeting her standards. The lady he was facing with his crumpled shirt, unshaven, uncombed hair and dark shades under his eyes which betrayed him every bit as someone who hadn't quite recovered from a long night in which alcohol had played a prominent role, was wearing a fur coat over a suit, expensive looking shoes, golden earrings and a pearl necklace. At least he was able to speak in full sentences and had had the presence of mind not to open the door in his underwear, he thought. What impression Remus would have made in this situation Severus didn't really want to know.

'Good morning, Madam. What can I do for you?' Severus began with his silkiest voice, trying to make up for his appearance.

'Good morning,' she replied stiffly and mustered him from head to toes. Literally, because he was barefoot, as he realized now.

'I wanted to speak to Mr. Lupin. I am Mrs. Trafford, I own this house. Are you a guest?' she went on in a very strict voice still looking critically at him.

'Yes. Snape is my name. Mr. Lupin is not well, I am afraid. And yes, I am staying with him for a few days. Would that be a problem?'

'Generally, no, but I must warn you, or rather Mr. Lupin. I have rented the flat to him only, it's was not meant to house more people. It's too small for that purpose and will cause too much noise and trouble in a house like this. I like to stress that this is a very calm house, with people who are or who have been working hard in their lives and want their peace and quiet.'

She gave Severus a look which made it quite clear that she didn't think he belonged to that part of the population.

'As I said, I wasn't planning to move in here, I am just staying for a few days.' He tried not to sound annoyed and even managed to smile a bit.

'Very well then. But there is another thing,' she continued and Severus, who had already guessed that she wasn't only checking on him and would leave him alone afterwards quickly, was beginning to get cold feet, as it was rather chilly on the staircase. He didn't think she expected to be invited inside and wasn't planning to do that even if she had (Remus' would freak out on him if he did, he was sure about that).

'You were rather noisy last night. There was a loud bang and screaming. I must ask you, Mr. Snape, and would you be so kind to pass this information on to Mr. Lupin, I cannot tolerate parties or whatever you were doing during the night. Anything which causes noise and disturbances.'

'As I've told you before, Mr. Lupin is ill. He fell over a chair last night when he rushed to the bathroom, I believe.'

'It sounded rather like an explosion,' she said indignantly, as if she expected him not to tell the truth. 'And there is more. Mr. Lupin very well knows, as it is stated in his contract, that pets are not allowed.'

'I cannot quite follow you, Mrs. Trafford. Mr. Lupin doesn't own any pets, as far as I know.'

Now he was really annoyed. What was this woman thinking? He couldn't imagine that this was the typical Muggle landlady and asked himself how Remus could stand this. Well, he was very tolerant and forgiving, but …

'So. Some of the other tenants have complained over a dog howling at night a few weeks ago. If Mr. Lupin thinks he can fool me, he is very much mistaken. If he does not want to keep to the rules of this house, he can very well look for another place.' She was very agitated now, her cheeks started to glow red.

Severus was indeed now irritated by her mentioning the howling, because that would mean that Remus or another werewolf had stayed in his flat on the full moon. Hadn't he just denied that possibility a few hours ago? He crossed his arms, took a deep breath, trying to ignore the cold which was creeping from his by now freezing feet up his shins and and forced himself to remain calm.

He gave her his most dangerous smile and began to stare deeply into her eyes. He remembered having tried this with Minerva Mc Gonagall while quarelling over training times on the quidditch pitch for their houses. That hadn't impressed the witch then, but had the desired effect on the Muggle lady. She took a step back, grabbing for the lapels of her coat to pull it closer. Her face had taken an anxious expression. But it didn't prevent her from going on.

'These people,…' she pointed with her forefinger at him as if taking aim with a weapon. 'These strange people who look like junkies, drug addicts or worse, who come to visit him,' she took a deep breath while Severus continued staring at her. 'This has to stop. I have a reputation to lose. Do you understand me? A reputation!' Her voice began to sound a bit hysterical.

'Now, Mrs. Trafford, they are certainly no drug addicts. And even if, … ' he kept his voice very low now and made a demonstrative pause to think about what to tell her. A bit of the truth couldn't hurt, he decided.

'I am sure you know that Mr. Lupin is a social worker. He is, I have to admit, working with people who are, how shall I put it, not very well accepted in society. He is helping them, you know, but they are completely harmless. They meet in his flat to talk about their problems, he gives them a lot of confidence, you know. He is really good at this, very understanding.' His face took a dreamily expression, which must convince her, if she hadn't known before, that he belonged to 'these people'.

'And you are one of them, I believe? Meetings! Honestly! And what about those strange noises, the howling?'

'Oh yes, Madam, the howling.' He lowered his voice even further and made as if to step towards her which caused her to retreat, panic in her eyes.

'That's part of the therapy.'

He could see her gulp and gripping the banister. He felt a bit uneasy when he suddenly realized how much he was enjoying this. But only a bit. This will make up for years of her harrassing Remus, he thought.

'Therapy!?'

'Yes, it's very liberating and has a relaxing effect. Especially on a full moon.' He had read about that, but couldn't believe it himself. But is was good for his story and certainly increased the discomfort of his opposite.

'Now really, if you want to make a fool of me! Next thing you will tell me that you all transform into werewolves. Rubbish! I am warning you, Mr. … Mr. …'

'Snape, Madam, Snape.' He inclined his head for a mock bow.

'Mr. Snape! This will not be the last thing you and Mr. Lupin will have heard from me!'

'Thought so,' Severus murmured, grinning, after she had turned her back on him and stomped - very unladylike - up the staircase.

He quickly went back into the flat, his thoughts not upon the shrewd landlady but on putting on some socks, several pairs, if possible. He closed the door behind him, turned and collided with Remus who was shuffling slowly across the corridor, eyes closed, his hands protectively over his ears, obviously on the way to the kitchen to find something to fight his hangover.

'Uuups. Sorry. Already up?'

'Could you keep your voice down, if you please,' Remus whispered in a pained voice, keeping his yes shut. 'I don't remember having such a headache, not even after a full moon.'

'Come. Have some aspirin and a coffe, or what do you prefer?' Severus put his hand on Remus' shoulder and steered him into the kitchen.

'Don't you have a headache potion?'

'No. Of course not. As I wasn't able, or not allowed to brew potions, how shall I have managed to produce one? These Muggle pills will do just as well. It's the same ingredients, anyway.'

'Thank you.'

Remus sat down heavily, drank the coffee and swallowed two of the offered pills. He propped his elbows on the table, hid his face in his hands and groaned.

While Remus was busy with his coffee, which he drank very slowly, Severus took the opportunity to do something about his cold feet and went into the living room to look in his bag for some socks. When he returned, he found Remus staring hard onto the the table, holding on to his mug as if he feared to fall from the chair if he didn't.

'I know this was utterly stupid. As if I didn't know that I couldn't take more than one glass without any problems. … 'Uhm. … Severus?'

'Yes.'

'Did I do or say anything … hm … stupid?'

'No, no.' Severus laughed. 'No need to worry in that respect. Nothing of the kind.'

'Good. At least something. Where's my wand?'

'You left it in the living room.'

He held his hand out, murmuring 'Accio' and the desired object came flying around the corner. Remus looked first at his wand and then eyed Severus wearily.

'You didn't… ?'

'No, I held my promise. I didn't do any magic. Honestly. The coffe was made the Muggle way.'

Remus finished his coffee without saying anything and held his mug up to Severus who was leaning against the sink, watching the other werewolf. He reacted promptly and refilled it.

'Maybe it would be good for your stomach, if you fed it a bit of toast?'

'Uh no. Better not.'

As Severus himself was hungry, he began to spread some butter on a toast, filled himself another mug of coffe and took a seat opposite Remus.

'Right, are you ready for some news or to learn about what you have missed this morning?'

'Yes, fill me in.'

'Well, first there was this arrogant pompous young auror you call your godson.'

'Harry? Harry was here? What did he want?'

Remus sat up straight and looked disbelievingly at Severus, seeming to have sobered up quite suddenly.

'No, he called via the floo. He wanted to talk to you, but I don't know about what, because I didn't wait for him to explain himself, and do you want to know why?'

'What day is it? … Oh no! Shit. I forgot. The meeting!'

'That's quite obvious. But that's not the point, right now. He was behaving impossible, Remus. At his age, like a frustrated schoolboy, just impertinent. I couldn't stand that so I left him hanging in the fireplace. I don't know what you taught him, but it certainly wasn't manners.'

'Oh don't Severus, no discussions about Harry Potter's upbringing, if you please. I think I know why he behaved in that, well, inacceptable way. We had a meeting with the head of the Department of the Control of Beasts and it happens that, well … I think I know that she is his girlfriend.' Remus sighed. 'And now he thinks that I made a fool of him by not turning up.'

'So what?'

'Well, you know we are family, Severus. And they are young. Do have a bit of understanding for them!'

Severus didn't comment, but only rolled his eyes exasperatedly.

'All right, let's change the subject,' Remus grinned goodnaturedly. He obviously had overcome of his hangover partially by now. 'Wasn't there somebody at the door when I came from my bedroom?'

'Yes, your charming landlady, Mrs. Trafford.'

'Oh no!' Remus groaned, hid his face with his hands and let his head sink onto the table dramatically, and looking up again 'I trust you were polite enough with her?'

'Me? Indeed, what do you think! The most polite I could manage.' Severus snorted. 'Really, I don't know why she was so frightened.'

Remus threw him a dirty look. 'I think I can imagine why. That will be it, I guess. I am done with. She will throw me out now.'

'Tell me one thing, Remus. Didn't you say, you wouldn't stay in your flat nor let any other werewolf remain here during the full moon? She complained about some howling a few weeks ago. I just thought you should know.'

'Damn, that must have been Tim. I had placed a muffling charm on the rooms and he had promised not to howl. Well, he is a bit of a problem.' Remus sighed.

'He is one of my cases, Timothy,' Remus added when Severus gave him a questioning look. 'You might have a chance to meet him should he come to the meeting. But you never know with him.'

'Meetings? That's why she also complained about strange folks visiting you.'

'Yes. Most of my werewolves come here more or less regularly in the week before the full moon. It's just to talk, to see that everybody is all right … that sort of thing. Nobody has to talk about him or herself or their problems.' Remus shrugged his shoulders. 'You don't have to attend if you don't feel like it. It's not that it will be registered in your file at the Ministry if you don't show up, but, of course, if problems should occur, regular attendence would be a point I would mention when asked by the officials to put the person in question in a favourable light.'

'Meaning, I better do attend?'

'Well, you'll see, they are all friendly people. Because of their condition, they don't have much of a social life. That's why they come. Some might be a bit weird, but in general …' he paused to look at Severus questioningly and to give him a chance to make up his mind about this.

'All right, I am not going to wander about outside in the Park while they are here.'

'Could you do me a favour, Severus?'

'Yes, what?'

'As these meetings are more like a party and as werewolves we have to see to it that we eat enough, I have to make some preparations, like …'

'You want me to prepare dinner?'

'No, no. Not that big, really. Just a little bit to bite.' Remus grinned sheepishly.

'It's all right, you got me, Remus.' Severus shook his head. 'How many do you expect, and when?'

'Sometime next week, I have to look it up. And … well it's difficult to forsee with werwolves. Sometimes there are three, sometimes ten persons.' Remus shrugged his shoulders.

'I tell you what, Remus. I hate these social events everybody calls parties. But I'll attend and I'll prepare the food. That way I'll have an excuse to be in the kitchen when it becomes too much, all right?'

'Great. Thank you Severus.'

Perhaps it was just as well to divert his thoughts from the full moon. If it was right was Remus had said, that the other wolves were not too keen on talking about their condition. And he dearly hoped that, because he didn't think that it would help him at all, listening to other people talking about lycanthropy. Therefore the younger werewolf was looking forward to the approaching meeting with mixed feelings.


	16. 16 A meeting

**16 A meeting**

Several days later, during which Severus had done a lot of sorting books and articles, cooking and had also gone for long walks in the surroundings while Remus had been busy with his job, it was evening and they were sitting in the kitchen to eat one of Severus' meals.

'Say, Severus, how on earth do you manage to peal the potatoes so evenly without using magic?'

'Long practice in cutting ingredients for potions, I guess.' Severus smiled. 'No magic, I swear. How could I, anyway? With you being away all day and me not able to go to Diagon Alley without help to buy a new wand. Or do you think Harry would go so far to come here secretely and lend me his wand?'

'No, of course not. And that's good, actually. I didn't want to tell you, but I got a notice at the Ministry the other day. Your Unforgivable didn't go by unnoticed, you see.'

'Oh.' Severus raised his brows. 'I had forgotten about that. I am sorry, did you have any inconveniencies because of that?'

'Not really. I told them that you were living at my place. I had to, anyway. They always want to know where a werewolf, and especially a new one, is resident. I even told them about your nightmares, don't look at me like that! It's always better to give them part of the truth. I didn't give away that it was an Unforgivable, you know. As it was not strong enough they weren't able to identify it properly. I said that it was a defence curse you used in your sleep.'

'But then you have informed them of my regained magical abilities, Remus! Now they will watch me even closer. I would have preferred to practice a bit to be sure, and then apply to be registered as a wizard again. What if they ask me to perform magic and I fail?'

'Don't worry, Severus. You will have the opportunity to practice.' Remus pulled his wand from his left sleeve and offered it to a much surprised Severus.

The other werewolf looked at him unbelievingly. 'What now? All of a sudden? Where does this change come from?'

'I can't have you conjure another dragon in front of Ministry officials, can I? That would throw a bad light on my position as your social worker, don't you think?' Remus grinned, laid the wand into Severus right hand and even closed his fingers around the magical instrument. 'Go ahead. I'll do the washing up,' he urged him again.

Severus stood up, still looking a bit undecidedly upon the unexpected opportunity Remus had given him.

'Right. Can I do it in the living room?'

'Sure. Wherever you want.'

'Thank you.' Severus went to go but stopped in the kitchen door. 'Remus?' he said reluctantly.

The wizard who had begun to collect the dishes and other things on the table looked up. 'Yes?'

'You're really a friend, you know.'

'Oh no,' Remus replied embarrased. 'I am just trying to be a good social worker, that's all.' He turned to put the plates into the sink. 'No, that's a lie. To tell the truth, I have got a soft heart and couldn't stand your sad look any longer, every time I did magic.'

He went over to Severus and shoved him out into the corridor. 'You go and practice, I will check on you later, but … Severus? Do me a favour, if possible, start with small, dead things, stick to furniture or anything which isn't alive if you like, and spare the big reptiles for later, yes?' he asked him laughing.

'Promised,' Severus nodded curtly and strode towards the living room, already feeling the tingling sensation caused by the wand which was increased by his excitement.

-

He started with practical things. His first exercise was to miniaturise the furniture and to place it along the walls to give him more room. As he didn't find any difficulties in that, he started on other things, but as promised, kept everything small and restricted himself to dead objects.

When he was about to rotate Remus' living room table in the air after having deprived it of it's legs, the owner of the mutilated piece of furniture made him start heavily. His concentration was broken and the tabletop fell onto the floor with a loud rumble.

'Very impressive, but you do have to work on your reflexes, Severus,' Remus commented drily, smiling. 'It's late and I thought you might like a tea before going to bed.'

Late it was indeed. When Severus checked his watch he noticed that he had been doing magic for over two hours. He had been working so concentrated that he had forgotten about the time.

'Yes. Very kind of you. Thank you for letting me practice, Remus.' A bit confused, he wanted to hand the wand back to it's owner, but Remus shook his head.

'Don't you think you should put everything back into place? You see, I liked my living room as it was.' Remus grinned, obviously enjoying Severus' irritation.

'Yes, sure. Sorry.' With a flourish of the wand he restored the room to it's former condition.

Remus nodded appreciatively. 'You know, personally, I think that the more you practice the stronger your magic will become, and you will have a good chance to keep it after your first transformation. But I shouldn't raise any false hopes in you. It was just an idea. As I don't know any cases similar to your's, it's impossible to foresee what will happen.'

'I know. Thank you anyway.'

They ended the day with a cup of tea in the kitchen, during which they hardly talked. Severus was immersed in thoughts about his future, and Remus who could easily guess what occupied Severus' mind, accepted the fact that his temporary lodger had become monosyllabic.

-

The next day, it was late afternoon and Severus was in the middle of another interesting article from Potions Weekly which he had subscribed recently, when the doorbell rang.

Annoyed and a bit alarmed he went to the door, because it was rare that somebody rang Remus' bell. Last time it had been Mrs. Trafford, and he wasn't keen on another conversation with this fine example of a Muggle landlady.

When he opened, he came face to face with a man he had never seen before. The stranger was about sixty years old, smaller than Severus and inconspicuously dressed in Muggle corduroy trousers and a dark woollen coat. His eyes were brown and his hair grey with distinct white streaks but it was only beginning to bald. The man's face was red from the cold outside and he was puffing slightly. Although Severus was also a stranger to him he wore a friendly expression and smiled.

'Yes?'

'Uhm. I expected to see Remus here. Warren is my name. Ralph Warren. You must be a new one then?'

Severus was bewildered. Had he missed something and should he know this man and what he wanted here?

'Pleased to meet you. Snape, Severus Snape. But … excuse me, a "new one"?'

'Wolf, of course. As it will be our monthly meeting tonight, I assumed that you are a new werewolf of Remus' pack.'

'Yes, that I certainly am. A new werewolf, unfortunately. But, sorry, do come in.' He stepped aside and gestured the visitor to come in.'

'So it is meant to take place tonight, our meeting? Remus is not in yet, you see, and he has obviously forgotten to tell me.'

'But why are you here then, may I ask?' Warren asked curiously.

'As one of Remus' new cases, I live here temporarily. He thought it necessary to have an eye on me before my first transformation.' Severus sighed inwardly. He wasn't keen on talking about this. But he didn't want to be unpolite to this friendly man either, the second werewolf he came to know.

'I am quite sure it is tonight. But if this is in any way inconvenient for you, I will leave, of course.' He had sensed that Severus was feeling very uncomfortable.

'No, no. I believe you. It had to be some day this week. Actually, I trust Remus to forget about it.' He shook his head. Remus was in for a lecture, that was for certain. He only hoped that his friend social worker would turn up soon, preferably before the rest of who knew how many werewolves would invade his flat.

'Give me your coat and make yourself comfortable in the living room. I'll see for some tea.'

He helped Warren out of his coat and hung it up at the wardrobe in the corridor. While Severus went into the kitchen to find some things to offer to his unexpected guest, Warren went into the living room. A few minutes later, Severus followed him with tea and sandwiches.

'You said your name was Snape?'

'Severus Snape, yes.' He put the tea things on the table and sat down in an armchair opposite of Warren.

'Excuse me for my curiosity, but the Severus Snape who was a member of the Order of the Phoenix who helped to defeat You Know Who?'

'Yes, but I didn't know I was famous.' Severus shrugged his shoulders indifferently. He would have never admitted it, but he was a bit flattered that somebody remembered his name in connection with the downfall of the Dark Lord.

'Oh, I think every wizard has kept the newspaper articles of the greatest day in wizarding history. So it would only be natural to remember a few names.'

Warren was still smiling in a friendly way, but as Severus had no urge to speak about lycanthropy with other people than Remus, he neither wanted to share his experiences of that particular time of his life with strangers. Instead of following this thread of conversation he first refilled the cups.

'I am sorry, but I can't … well let's say I can't do any magic at the moment. It was an … accident. Just in case you were wondering … ' Severus said apologetically.

'Just like me.'

'What? You are a squib as well?' Severus was astonished and raised his brows.

'No. I am a Muggle.' Warren laughed embarrassedly. 'So I have never had the experience what it would be like to be able to do magic. I guess that's better than to know and having lost the ability, but I am always jealous of your lot, of course.'

'A Muggle as a werewolf? That's rare, isn't it?' Severus didn't make any effort to hide his astonishment.

'Well, I am not the only one. As far as I know, if Muggles are bitten, they will be obliviated and shut up in St. Mungo's. Most of them turn mad. The witch who later became my wife prevented that. And Remus, the last years he has been looking after me, he was a great help, too. So I am probably one of the few who lives a fairly, well, shall I say "normal" life? Of course, I had to leave behind my former Muggle life completely. Family, friends, work and all. That was hard. But the new friends I got, the wizards and their world, my wife of course … have helped a lot. I can say that I am quite happy, nevertheless.' He sighed and sipped at his tea.

'Ministry officials would call you a model werewolf, then.'

'Well, let's say they are not interested in me and let me have my peace because there are other cases they have to deal with. The best means to keep them away from you is to keep a low profile anyway.' The man shrugged his shoulders. 'Can I have another cup?'

'Yes, sure. Sorry.' Severus had been a bit absorbed. The concept of somebody dealing with lycanthropy in a rational way like this man was somewhat strange to him. Well, if you had family…

The doorbell rang again. Severus got up to answer it. Where the hell was Remus? He didn't want to play host to his clients only because he happened to be one of them and shared Remus' flat for some time. And the other werewolves wouldn't be as inconspicuous and "normal" as Warren, he was quite sure about that.

'Hello! What a surprise, a new face. Am I the first at this party and so lucky to get your story out of you first hand? No, I bet Ralph is already here. Am I right? He is horrible, always on time.'

Severus was greeted by a tall, elegantly dressed woman Muggles wouldn't have identified as a witch, but it was quite obvious. She was dressed in a dark woollen robe which was changing it's colour every few seconds. Under that she was wearing a purple velvet dress which went along perfectly with her brown hair she had put up in a very stylish way. From her excited behaviour Severus would have guessed that she was on some kind of drugs but he couldn't be sure. He detected the grey streaks in her hair which could be found in many werewolves and which she had obviously tried to dye, but without success. What struck him more was the necklace with pearls made out of dried and pressed herbs accompanied by a single wolf's tooth.

'Ralph is indeed here, but Remus hasn't shown up yet. My name is Severus Snape.' He stepped aside to let her in.

'Pleasure. Clarence Rowen.'

She went to come in, but stopped on the threshold for a moment to study Severus more closely. But the expected enquiry after his name didn't come this time. He was glad about it. On the way to the living room she led the way, stopped only shortly to shed her robes and handed them to Severus. After having found a peg on the corridor wall, he went into the kitchen to prepare some more tea and sandwiches. He also got some biscuits out of the storing cupboard. As Remus hadn't come yet, he couldn't hide in there to prepare anything else, not to speak of cooking which he had originally planned. He was frustrated.

When he came into the living room, Clarence and Ralph were talking animatedly, or, to be more precisely, she talked and he was listening, nodding from time to time.

'So, you are really a new one in the pack, aren't you?' she directed her interest onto Severus as soon as he entered the room. Ralph looked relieved from being spared for some time.

'Your first transformation in three days? But you are not much of a talker, are you?'

'Well, I think this is not something everybody wants to talk about freely.' He had known that this woman would be difficult to deal with, he had sensed the danger right from the moment he had opened the door.

'No, but you could give us at least some information about you. That would only be fair, wouldn't it Ralph?'

The addressed werewolf sighed. 'Clarence, he is right, not everybody feels comfortable talking about our condition. You should accept that.'

'Oh yes?' she retorted aggressivly 'Never speak about it, act as if it was just a flu or something. Keep it secret. Never say how horrible this is. No use to play cool here, Mr. Snape. You want to know how it's really like?'

It was no use to try to stop her. Severus wouldn't have known what to say anyway. He was only hoping that Remus would come soon.

'Well, it's horrible. It's as simple as that. Every single month of the rest of your damned pitiful life you will transform into this beast, if you want or not. Hardly anybody will like you, or, even worse, they pretend that they don't mind. But they do, of course. People always find excuses not to meet you, not to talk to you, not to come too close! They are frightened!' She had raised her voice in the course of her speech and it became shrill.

'You will hide from people, lie to them because everything is better than to admit that you are a werewolf. And the transformation itself. If you think you have known what pain was, forget about it! It is absolute hell, pain without end. And the worst is … ' her voice became unsteady, '… if you cannot hate the person who has bitten you.'

'I think we all know what you mean, Clarence,' said a soft voice from the door.

They hadn't heard Remus come in. He was standing in the living room door, another guest at his side. A young man, more likely a teenager, not very tall but thin, short black hair which made the streaks in it the more visible, watery blue eyes and pale skin. He was wearing Muggle jeans, trainers and an anorak. The clothing was not appropriate for the cold season, Severus thought, even more as it looked as if he had been living on the street for some time.

Remus stepped around the armchair Severus was sitting in and bent down to hug the witch.

'You look great, Clarence. But your tea is getting cold,' Remus said in a soft tone Severus had never heard of his friend, because it was like talking to a very frightened child, not a grown up woman. But it seemed to work on her. They could all see that she was on the brink of tears. Remus took her tea cup from the table and offered it to her. She took it reluctantly, her hands shivering a bit, but she accepted it and started to take small sips.

'Right.' Remus straightened up, using his usual, not less friendly, but more clear voice now. 'No more details for now. I think Severus here has already got a rough idea. May I introduce Timothy to you, Severus. Tim, this is Severus, who must think that we are all freaks. So let's all make a good appearance, shall we?' he joked and Severus was amazed how Remus had managed to ease the tension in the room.

'I'll go and see what's in the kitchen for all of us.' Remus was rubbing his hands while turning to leave the living room.

Severus got up and followed him closely.

'A word, Remus.'

'Yes?' Remus, who had opened the door of the fridge to look for anything suitable for his guests, turned around wearing a somewhat guilty expression. 'See, I know, Severus. I haven't told you. Sorry. Actually, I had forgotten the exact date.' He shrugged his shoulders. 'Maybe we could …'

But Severus, who had felt quite uncomfortable in the company of the other werewolves for some time already, was losing his patience now.

'You know, Remus, you must be an improvisational genius, given the fact that you forget so much,' he started in one of his much exercised sarcastic tones. 'But maybe that's a special qualification for social workers who have to deal with werewolves. Everything is a bit chaotic, isn't it?' he went on even harsher.

'Hey look, I forgot, ok? I am sorry that I didn't tell you and …'

'Sorry? Yes, you really should be,' Severus cut in again and raised his voice, 'leaving me alone with these … people I didn't know. They are complete strangers, you know? I have got enough with my own problem and there I am suddenly confronted with other werewolves, of whom some are, well …' he made a undistinguishable gesture with his right hand. He was speaking very loud now, nearly shouting.

'When you asked me to organise something to eat for this meeting, I really did think about it a lot. I would have liked to do something, actually. But that would have needed at least some preparation.'

The louder Severus became, the darker Remus expression got. He looked furious when he finally started his counterattack.

'NOW You listen, Severus!' he shouted back.

'Before you lose yourself in absolute selfpity, and to make myself clear:' He stopped shouting but spoke with a raised voice, pronouncing every word. 'This is my kitchen and my flat, and before I allow somebody to shout at me at my place I'd rather throw him out, ok? I invited you here and you are welcome to stay, but please stop acting in this way. You will certainly have realized that you are not the only one with lycanthropy and that there are many others who, quite naturally, have the same problems that you have.'

Remus was standing with his back to the fridge, arms folded in front of his chest. Although he was very slim, with his demeanour and his serious expression on his face his personality seemed to fill the whole kitchen, Severus realized all of a sudden. During the whole debate he hadn't moved from his place in the doorway. During Remus' speech he had calmed down a bit but was now feeling very much embarrassed.

'About me or the others being chaotic, well, that may very well be at times,' the older werewolf went on in a calm voice, looking at Severus seriously.

'But otherwise, they are completely normal, everybody with his or her own special background. Naturally, you cannot know all the details of their histories as I do, but maybe it will help you to understand a bit better and to focus less on yourself if I give you a few facts.'

Although Severus felt the desire to run, run far away and hide somewhere to leave behind all the embarrassment and confusion, he couldn't. He wasn't able to budge from his place in the kitchen doorway, Remus seemed to pin him down there with his stare.

'Clarence was bitten by her husband who is in Askaban. She was pregnant at that time. Her child was born at the right time, though, meaning, it wasn't born a werewolf, but as she didn't seem stable at that time, Ministry officials took it away from her. Clarence was my very first case as a werewolf social worker. Since I've come to know her I've tried to help her getting her child back, but in vain. They are hiding it from her.'

'Timothy has no parents. We don't even know if he is a born werewolf or was bitten very young. He has spent his life in nearly all the wizard orphanages the Ministry runs, no familiy wanted to take him, or, to be more precise, if a family showed interest, it was either a werewolf family, who, you can easily guess, wasn't trusted very much, or the Ministry didn't want to give him into a family environment because he was known as "difficult". He sometimes doesn't report to the Ministry dungeon on a full moon which causes me a lot of trouble. If he doesn't start to show more responsibility, I am afraid, I can't prevent him to land in Azkaban as well.'

Remus looked very sad after his gloomy reports. Severus had managed to move away from the door and walked over to the window where he gripped the frame and looked out to avoid to look into Remus' face.

'And about Ralph …'

'He told me,' Severus broke the silence with a hoarse voice, on the one hand to say at least something, but also to stop Remus giving too detailed descriptions of the miserable circumstances of life of a part of the population he belonged to as well and whose fate he would share from now on.

'Right. You know then. Good. It was just to give you an idea about my work and the situation of other werewolves. You are one of them now, and I can tell you that you are as difficult a case as them. You with your moods, you know.'

Remus didn't even try to hide the fact that he was still enervated.

'I am not saying that I don't like my work and I don't want to complain, but sometimes I prefer people like Clarence who say directly what they are thinking.'

'So do me a favour and pull yourself together,' the social worker continued strictly. 'As I said, you don't have to attend, but I would prefer you stayed. You have to accept the fact that you will be part of this community, even if it is not closely knit and you won't have much contact with other werewolves. In general, I think you are strong enough that you will manage. But you do have to work on yourself a bit.'

Severus didn't move. He was staring out of the window into the courtyard. He couldn't answer to that because he knew that Remus was right. He was a burden for everyone to deal with. He had known that since school times when he had come to terms with the fact that nobody really liked him … Damn, Severus how pathetic are you? Here is somebody who is willing to help you! He told himself.

It was true, Remus would always feel obliged because he was guilty of Severus' fate, but that was not the only reason. Remus was somebody who believed in the good sides of people and he was almost always being nice, despite Severus behaviour.

'I take it that you are staying? Right, now that I have messed up the catering thing, I would appreciate it very much if you could help me nevertheless. Would you do the pizza thing again for me, Severus? Preferably without the alcoholic part. I'll give you the money back, of course. The Ministry pays for these things.'

Severus gulped. 'Yes. Sure.'

And here Remus even came up with a peace offer where others would long have given up. This would be the point to apologize, but it was just too hard for Severus to fight against his armour of pride and defence which had served him over the years not to let people come to near to him.

Severus turned around to face Remus, finally.

'If you allow me to get something from the Indian takeaway around the corner. It looked quite good the other day.'

'Yes. Go and get some fresh air.'

Severus nearly fled the kitchen and did not look at Remus when he passed him. In the corridor he did not stop, just grabbed his coat from the peg and stormed out of the door. On the street, he only slowed down a bit to put on his coat.

He did not go to the said takeaway directly, but went to the park first. The fresh and cold air had indeed a positive effect on him. He felt that he was able to start thinking clearly again, but at the same time he felt ashamed. Remus was really trying hard and even if he was a bit chaotic or forgot things, even if they were as important as his werewolf meetings, given the fact that his clients were all quite different and difficult, he did very well. And Severus knew that if need be, Remus would defend all of them, including himself, against any demands of the Ministry, even if he had to lie at times. He definitely had to apologize to him.

After having calmed down considerably, Severus directed his steps towards the Indian takeaway. He didn't want to add to Remus' negligence and cause the other werewolves to wait even longer for their meal only because he had to overcome his depressive mood.

When he entered the flat, packed with a load of food bags and boxes, he could hear laughing from the living room. Well, at least they were in a better mood than him. He made haste to deliver the food things to prevent them from getting cold. When he entered the room, nearly dropping a few boxes, he was greeted with enthusiasm.

'Oh great, I was already starving,' Clarence smiled at him.

He let everything drop on the table and Remus took out his wand and spoke a short spell which caused the piece of furniture to grow a bit higher. That way everybody was more comfortable with eating. Severus left the living room to get rid of his coat and Remus went into the kitchen to get some cutlery.

He wasn't back when Severus took his seat, which Ralph had offered him, between Timothy and the latter on the sofa.

'He's really sweet, isn't he?' Clarence stated.

'Who?' Ralph asked back, although everybody knew that she could only mean the one person who wasn't present at the moment.

'Well, Remus, of course. What do you think Mr. Snape?' she demanded, winking at him.

'He is doing a good job with our lot, that's what I think,' Severus said casually, shrugging his shoulders, but already sensing the danger which was unmistakably coming from her.

'What I meant was, … well, you are living together in his flat, aren't you?' she gave him such a sweet smile, that he had to fight hard not to jump up and take her by her throat. He groaned inwardly and counted up to three and took a deep breath.

'Mrs. Rowan, I am sorry if I or Remus haven given you any false ideas, but I am only staying here temporarily because Remus as my social worker thought it wise to keep an eye on me before my first transformation, to help me to cope with it better,' he told her in a calm but dangerously low voice. 'And I must ask you not to draw any other conclusions,' he added sharply.

'All right, all right. Why do you men always have to be so touchy? I was only joking.' She shook her head and laughed. 'You know, you just sounded like an old couple quarreling, back there in the kitchen.'

Ralph put his hand on Severus arm to stop him from any unconsidered action, but he had himself under perfect control by now. This was partly due to the old mechanism who still worked with him if need be. His way to keep his feelings inside and block everything out. But there was also a certain tiredness coming over him, a lack of energy which made it suddenly easy to ignore Clarence's impertinence and kept him from jumping up from the sofa and flee this place. He wondered if that came from his lycanthropy, he had never felt such strange changes in his body before in such a short time.

Then Remus came in and started giving out knives and forks, so everybody was busy with opening their food boxes and swapping them between each other. They ate mostly in silence if you don't count the comments about the food one or the other contributed from time to time. Only Timothy, who hadn't said anything since he had entered the room, didn't take part in the small talk.

'Really tasty. Good choice, Severus.' Ralph, from whom Severus was quite sure he meant what he was saying, tucked in heartily.

'Yes, Severus. That was very kind indeed, that you took that upon you to provide us with dinner. I am really thankful, you know, especially after I have messed this up.' Remus nodded appreciatively in Severus' direction and continued eating.

'No great deal,' Severus mumbled. If he hadn't been keen on a conversation in this circle, the more he would avoid this now in the presence of this poor woman who obviously tried to compensate her frustration and grief by embarassing other people or attacking them verbally.

Severus felt miserable. Right now he didn't wish anything more dearly than to be alone in a dark room, preferably in bed, and cry, like he had done when he was a boy. Life was so unfair. Yes, he knew that he wasn't the only one with lycanthropy, but that fact didn't help much at the moment.

As his eyes fell on the silent Timothy who looked, if you could guess anything at all from his expression, as if he felt much the same. If he had been bitten very young or even born as a werewolf, how many times did he have to endure this already? From his poor looks (which were accompanied by a smell which bore witness of several days without washing) Severus guessed that he must be living out on the street at times. He didn't seem to have any friends, only Remus he could trust, which, on the other hand, was quite a lot if you knew Remus. But he didn't have much of a perspective.

Where Severus could resort to his academic education and start a business in potion making, provided that he kept his regained magic (he didn't dare to think it to be differently, because then he would really be at an end), Timothy didn't even have a proper school education. Well, Severus came to the conclusion that it sometimes did help a bit to compare one's own fate with others.

It struck him that nobody had tried to start a conversation with the young werewolf so far, soo when they were nearly at an end with eating, Severus wondered if he should, but didn't know where to begin. He could hardly ask him under what circumstances he had been bitten, could he? It was obviously the custom in this circle to let everybody be as he or her wished. And if Clarence was hardly stopped in her offending ways, Timothy wasn't forced to participate in any conversation. As Severus didn't have enough background information about the boy and thought that Remus would know best how to treat him, he would rather let the expert deal with the youngest in their group. And indeed, when the last fork had been put away and everybody put their foodboxes on a pile, the social worker acted according to his role.

'Have you got a place to stay for tonight, Tim?' he suddenly asked without warning.

Now, directly addressed, the timid and withdrawn youngster had no choice but to answer. He looked up to Remus and shrugged his shoulders. 'Uhm. Don't know.'

'You can stay here, of course. If Severus doesn't mind?'

'Me? No, no. Of course not. There'll be enough room for the three of us,' he said noncomittantly, but made a mental note to warn the boy that he must not approach or try to wake him when he was asleep to prevent any further accidents.

'Oh, a men's household, that must be fun!' Clarence exclaimed.

'You would be surprised, Severus is a very good cook,' Remus cut her short before she could take breath and go into more detail.

'But I don't cook for everybody. Just in case you were planning to invite yourself for dinner,' Severus informed her with one of his sourest looks he could manage. That earned him a critical look from Remus, but he saw no reason now, to keep up any polite behaviour towards that woman who was so annoying. Yes, he could show some understanding if he wished to, but even if her demeanour was due to her being a very depressed species of a werewolf, there were limits.

Severus needn't have worried, because she didn't seem in the mood to venture further on the subject. There was an awkward pause because nobody obviously knew what to say or didn't want to. As Severus had provided the food he thought that he had a good excuse to feel responsible for the clearing up and any further wishes of the guests as well.

'Some more tea anybody?' he asked while he was collecting the empty food boxes.

As everybody was positive about it, he left the living room for the kitchen and began to brew some tea.

The rest of the evening passed by in an unspectacular way. Remus and Ralph were talking most of the time, mainly about werewolf matters, especially the laws concerning them. Clarence had given up talking to them at all and, as expected, Tim had never started to make an attempt for conversation. Therefore Severus was left in peace and could concentrate on the images the flickering fire, which Remus had lighted after their meal, created on the carpet and the wall. Thus he started heavily when the doorbell suddenly rang.

'This will be Lydia, my wife,' Ralph explained while Remus got up to answer the door. 'She always apparates me here and collects me afterwards. She spends her time during the meeting in Diagon Alley. We live in the countryside, you see.'

'Hello everybody.' A short, wiry and energetic witch, about Ralph's age with grey and curly hair strode in.

'Lydia, my dear. Did you have a nice time?' Ralph gave his wife a fond smile.

'Hi Clarence, Tim, and you are?' she squinted her eyes and gave Severus an inquisitive but not unfriendly look.

He had a vague idea that he had seen her before, but couldn't place her.

'Severus Snape.'

'Really? Severus Snape?' she exclaimed, smiling brightly.

'Well, I didn't ask to be famous,' he said a bit enervated, although he knew he shouldn't, because from his first impression, she seemed to be as friendly and well-meaning as her husband.

'Ah no, I wasn't thinking about your share of 'You Know Who's' downfall everybody will remember for ages, of course. No, but you don't recongnize me, do you?' she laughed.

'No, I'm afraid I don't, but I am quite sure that I've seen you somewhere, but I …' he shrugged his shoulders, 'sorry, you have to help me out there.'

'Right. I'll give you a hint: my family name - and I've kept it after my marriage with Ralph - is Rafflewood.'

Oh, no. Severus mouth dropped open. He was used to be confronted with his past from time to time, but he had never met somebody from that far back. Miss Rafflewood, he now remembered quite clearly, had been his teacher in primary school.

'No need to be embarrased, my dear,' she laughed goodnaturedly, 'as far as I recall it, you were a good pupil. Only very serious, yes, too serious for your age,' she mused. 'I still remember the day how shocked I was when you told me after I had asked you why you never laughed, that life wasn't fun. Oh dear, now I've become too personal. Forgive me, but that's a fault of mine, unfortunately.' Now she looked rather embarrassed. But that did not really cause her to stop.

'But do tell me one thing,' she went on and her face brightened again, 'you've become a potions master, and achieved quite a lot in this field, but I had always thought you were very interested in reptiles? As far as I remember, you were one of the children who did quite a lot of transfiguring them?'

Remus tried, though unsuccessfully, to stifle a laugh with a feigned cough.

'Uhm. Might be. They are, at least parts of them, useful as potion ingredients.'

'You were allowed to do magic in primary school?' Clarence asked astonished.

'In that school, yes,' Lydia explained. 'You see, most of the children came from so called "pureblood" families and their parents thought it important to start with magic as early as possible. Well, most of them had have magical training from their parents before anyway. You can't stop wizarding children to do magic at a young age when they have everybody around doing it, but that went too far, in my opinion. It's not allowed anymore today, of course.'

'We had good reason to restrict magic to the classrooms at Hogwarts,' Severus added.

'Right. It's late. I believe in having a lot of sleep in the nights before the moon. So I think we should go now. Lydia?' Ralph got up from the sofa.

'Yes, dear. Well, good night everybody. See you another time, I guess?'

Clarence got up as well and they all said their good byes and after a few minutes, Remus, Severus and Tim were left alone in Remus' flat.

-

'I think Ralph was right. We shouldn't stay up much longer either,' Remus began while he was already transfiguring the sofa in the living room into a bed. 'Severus, can you manage, or do you think it would be safer If you slept separately?'

'Yes, perhaps.'

Because Tim gave both of them a questioning look, Severus thought he should explain. 'I tend to react very aggressive when suddenly woken up, meaning you would be in for a rather nasty curse if you did such a thing. And as I do not want to injure anybody, it would be better if I slept away from both of you.'

'I don't care where I sleep,' Tim said indifferently, shrugging his shoulders.

'I can offer my bedroom to one of you and sleep in the kitchen myself …' Remus offered, but Severus cut him short.

'No, rubbish. You are the only one of us who has a proper job and you've got all the work because of us. I can go into the kitchen and Tim can have the living room.'

'Ok. But let me at least conjure a bed for you.'

Remus went into the kitchen and Severus into the living room to get his bed things. He also got some cushions and blankets out of the cupboard and handed them to Tim who started to make his bed as well. When Severus came back into the kitchen, Remus had done as promised and a comfortable guest bed was already waiting.

'Quite practical, actually. That way you'll be able to prepare breakfast for all of us.' Remus grinned.

'Thought so,' Severus retorted drily but not unfriendly.

'That looks quite acceptable,' he yawned and only then realized how tired he was. But there was still something on his mind he wanted to get rid of.

'Listen, I haven't apologized yet for tonight. I know I was acting impossible, but …'

'That's ok, Severus. We are all under stress and a bit irritable before the full moon. Actually, I expected a reaction of that kind from you. As it'll be your first moon, it's no wonder, really.' Remus gave him an encouraging smile.

'Why do you always have to be so bloody understanding, huh?'

'That's one of my faults, I guess.' Remus was still smiling when he went out of the kitchen. 'I'll be quick in the bathroom and tell you when it's your turn.'

-

It was in the middle of the night when Severus woke up. This time, he was sure he hadn't cursed anybody. His heartbeat was normal and he felt as if he had been sleeping well so far. There was also no need to visit the bathroom and he couldn't hear anybody else moving around in the flat, but something was definitely wrong. He decided to get up and check on Tim because he trusted this depressed looking youth to do something stupid or even dangerous. Maybe he had fled again and left the flat.

Having made that decision, he got out of bed a bit unwillingly, because he had really slept well up to now and couldn't remember any nightmare. Tim wasn't in the kitchen, so Severus went to the bathroom, and what was awaiting him there was worse than a nightmare.

The room was only dimly lit, but enough to see - and even if it had been dark Severus' sensitive nose would have smelled it. Tim was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bath tub. He had cut his wrists and there was quite a lot blood on the tiles. He was staring at the floor where a razor blade was lying, crying silently, tears running down his cheeks.

'Oh shit. REMUS! REMUS! COME HERE QUICK AND BRING A FIRST AID KIT!' Severus bellowed on the top of his lungs to alarm the other werewolf.

'REMUS!' he turned around to see if the called was coming, and saw Remus already standing in the doorway behind him, firmly gripping a first aid box and his wand, a look of horror in his eyes.

'WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING HERE?' he shouted. Severus cringed because he hadn't expected such a reaction. 'DID YOU COME HERE TO DO THIS? WELL, YOU NEEDN'T HAVE TO, YOU KNOW, I CAN DO WITHOUT THIS MESS. HOW OFTEN …'

'Remus,' Severus got up. 'Remus,' he said in a calm but strict voice, took the first aid box out of his hands and gripped him at the shoulder. 'I'll deal with him. You go and wait in the kitchen, make some tea or whatever. We'll talk later. Just one thing. Give me your wand, please. I will need it here.' As Remus didn't react, Severus took the wand out of Remus' hands and shoved him firmly out of the room.

Not looking around if Remus had done as being told, Severus kneeled down and began to get bandages out of the box.

He used the wand and did some cleaning and healing spells on the cuts. It had been a bit bold to send Remus away, as Severus hadn't done medical spells for a long time, but Tim hadn't cut deep and it worked quite well. While he was working, Severus tried to start a conversation with the young werewolf.

'Did you want to be found? I mean, because you came here. Not that I want to encourage you to do so, but you could have done it somewhere else. If you had planned it in the first place. Or didn't you plan it at all?' He looked Tim straight into the face, but the young man didn't react. 'Why aren't you talking?'

'Because it doesn't help,' Tim suddenly said in a hoarse whisper.

'Well, not every werewolf is as desperate as you, it seems.'

'Weren't you the one who said that life wasn't fun when you were young? You don't know. You don't really know, do you? You haven't even transformed once, how could you know then! Don't you realize? Don't you see them?' Tim suddenly became agitated. 'All those freaks! They are out of their mind. Just look at Clarence. Do you know how many times she has tried to kill herself?'

'There I have to agree with you. I don't know how it's like, but I am fearing the worst.' Severus grimassed painfully. 'If it helps you to know: I am terrified to bits.'

'No, it doesn't.'

'Thought so,' Severus commented drily and sighed. This was going to be hard, as he had no idea how to talk to somebody like Tim sensibly, not to speak of helping him in any way.

'Do not think that Remus doesn't like you, Tim. He is just very disappointed, that's all. He is working very hard to help all "his" werewolves, to the point that he will even try to put you in a favourable light in the eyes of the Ministry if one of us has overstepped the line. I believe you know that, don't you? And there comes somebody like you, he lets you stay overnight because you have no place to live, and you try to commit suicide. For him that means a personal failure.'

'I don't blame him. It's not his fault.'

'You could tell him that yourself,' Severus tried, desperately seeking for something to get the conversation going. But Tim didn't react in the hoped-for way.

'As I said, I don't talk anymore to people who are meaning well. It's no use. Doesn't help.'

He spoke these sentences in an monotonous unemotional way which Severus found quite unsettling. He finished the bandaging in silence.

'Now. As we all will need some rest, it will be best if everybody goes back to bed. Can you walk?'

'Yes,' Tim murmured, hardly audible.

Severus helped him up and led him into the living room where he saw him back into bed.

'Can we come to an agreement of some sort that you don't do anything similar, at least for tonight?'

Tim didn't answer and rolled over to the wall.

'Can I bring you anything? Something to drink?' Severus tried again, but to no avail.

Severus decided to leave it at that for the moment. He couldn't force the young man to speak to him, nor to Remus. So he decided to look after the other werewolf, who would, hopefully, talk to him.

When he reached the kitchen he found Remus sitting at the table, arms propped on the table, hiding his face in his hands.

'He's in bed now, Remus. He will be all right, physically, I mean. I tried to speak to him, but he refuses to talk about his problems. I believe that's nothing new to you. He doesn't seem to be desperate, just … well, I am sorry to say that, but he makes an impression of being someone who has given up. I am certainly no expert, maybe there are other people who would be able to get near him.'

'We have tried that. Many people have,' Remus murmured in a low voice, not looking up. 'Maybe too many. Healers from St. Mungo's, social workers, other werewolves … without success. He should have belonged to a family when he was a child, like me.'

While Severus listened to him, he went to the fridge, took out some milk and began to brew hot chocolate. With Remus' wand it was only a matter of seconds before three steaming mugs stood on the kitchen table.

'I'll be right back, here, have one yourself,' he touched Remus, who was still staring straight down on the table, at the shoulder.

'I thought that was mainly for children,' Remus commented but took the mug anyway, now staring at the beverage for a change.

Severus went out of the kitchen and to the living room. Tim hadn't moved, but Severus couldn't believe that he was really sleeping. He put the mug on a small side table.

'There you are. This sometimes even helps adults to lighten their mood. It will still taste nice when cold, but if I were you I would drink it while it's hot.'

Without waiting for an reaction he left the room to get back to Remus. Severus was beginning to wonder who the social worker was here.

He found Remus sipping at the chocolate when he joined him and took a seat at the table himself.

'Hm. Really good.'

'With the help of your wand, that was quite easy to conjure. Here, you better take it back before I keep it accidentally.' Remus took the magical instrument and looked at Severus for the first time since this incident.

'Thanks.' … 'I've failed completely, this time.' … 'Messed everything up.' He sighed and rubbed his eyes. 'Thank you, that you took it upon you to look after him. How is he anyway?'

'In bed, pretending to sleep. Look Remus, I don't think I will be much help in this case either. I haven't even transformed once, as Tim pointed out, he is not taking me seriously as a werewolf and I am not very talented in talking with people like him.' Somehow Severus didn't think it right to tell Remus in too much detail about his experiences with suicide attempts of students while he was head of Slytherin house.

'I will contact people from our department and St. Mungo's who know him already tomorrow. For the night of the moon, he'll be safe in the dungeons. And after that, we'll see… What he would really need would be a focal point in his life, a person, an occupation of some sort. But he hasn't learned much, unfortunately.'

'You are thinking of some kind of apprenticeship?'

'Yes, that sort of thing.'

'I wouldn't mind having an assistant, but that would depend on him, if he is willing, interested …'

'That would be very kind of you Severus, but I don't want to press you into anything. You don't have to feel obliged to help in this case. But as you said, it depends on him.' … 'Do you think we can risk to go back to bed? We could wake in shifts, to keep an eye on him.'

'Good idea. I won't be able to sleep much after this anyway. Oh, and the bathroom, I…'

'No no. I'll go and clean up there. And I will take the first shift. I'll wake you up to take over, right?'

'If you say so.'

Remus got up and left the kitchen and Severus went back into his bed after he had turned the lights off. Rest, not to speak of sleep was out of the question, so he just lie there, looking at the window. The curtains hadn't been drawn and he was able to see the sky. It was very clear and many stars were visible which told of a cold night outside. Severus had always liked to look at the sky at night. Somehow it looked peaceful, beautiful, actually, even the nearly full moon, if it wouldn't stand as a symbol for something terrible.

-

He must have fallen asleep eventually, because when he woke, it had already dawned and Remus hadn't woken him up. When he checked on Remus he found him asleep in the living room, huddled in a blanket in an armchair. Tim was asleep as well. So it seemed that the excitement of the night had finally sent them all to the restful slumber they needed. Severus didn't wake them but went to the bathroom silently. When he had finished there, he went back to the kitchen and started to prepare breakfast. He made tea and coffee, spread anything on the table which could qualify even remotely for breakfast and fried some eggs.

'Hmm. Smells delicious. How many people are you expecting? Have I missed anything about an early morning party?' Remus had appeared in the door silently. Severus was glad to see him in a relatively good mood.

'It obviously needs quite an amount of fried eggs to wake a sleeping werewolf. What about our enhanced senses, Remus? And there I was thinking I would at least gain something positive from my condition. But as my nose has already been quite sensitive, it seems I won't be able to improve it much more, how disappointing.' Severus sighed dramatically.

'No need to wake up before everything is ready, isn't it? And for your nose, well, you can't improve something which is perfect already, Severus.' Remus grinned and sat down.

'Was that meant to be a compliment?' Severus put some fried egg on Remus plate.

The other didn't answer but started to eat to avoid that. Then both suddenly looked up when they noticed a movement in the kitchen doorway. It was Tim. From what the nightshirt Remus had lent him revealed, the young werewolf was really in a bad shape. Severus hadn't noticed it to that extent when he had dealt with him last night.

'Come in and join us. Tea or coffee?' Severus offered friendly.

Tim came to the table and pulled a chair back reluctantly.

'I am not hungry.'

'That doesn't matter. Not many werewolves are before the full moon. Remus seems to be an exception. Therefore I'd doubt that he'll leave anything for us.' Severus tried to lighten the atmosphere, but that was totally lost on Tim. 'Tea or coffee?'

'Tea, please. Thank you.'

And that was about all they heard from him during breakfast. Not that Remus and Severus were having a profound conversation. They too were already under the influence of the raising moon, and Tim's silence didn't help to improve the atmosphere either.

When they had nearly finished, Remus moved on his chair uncomfortably and cleared his throat, obviously searching for words to speak to the young werewolf.

'Tim, would you perhaps like to talk to Siona again? I was under the impression that you two went along quite well. You should meet her one day, Severus. She really is the funniest werewolf social worker I've ever met.'

He gave Severus a questioning look as if to seek for help or ask for approval for his attempts to reach Tim.

'Yes, perhaps.' The addressed answered in a low voice, in the same unemotional way Severus had experienced the night before.

'Because I will leave for the Ministry in a few Minutes time. I could contact her, but only if you really want that.' Clearly, he was waiting for a sign of enthusiasm from Tim.

'Yes, do so.'

'Right then. You two will manage, won't you? Rest a bit and maybe you can help Severus to cook later. We can have dinner together tonight, what about that?'

Severus nodded. He thought that perhaps it would be easier to get the boy talking if the two of them were doing something, like kitchen work.

-

After Remus had left them, they cleared everything away and Tim really helped him washing up, but hardly said more than "yes" and "no" when asked. Well, there was still time for that when they would be preparing dinner.

When there was nothing left to do in the kitchen, Severus suggested to retire to the living room and Tim didn't object.

'Feel free to do what you like. There are still some things I want to read. As you know, I am into potions very much. Unfortunately, there are not many who share this interest, and if I talk about this subject to others, I am afraid to bore them. But you should know that I am planning to do some research regarding lycanthropy, the wolfsbane potion and what comes with it. That's why you find so many books and articles about this here. Naturally, Remus has collected all sorts of information about our condition as well, but I've tried to bring a system into it and there is still a lot to do, you see.'

'Hmhm.'

Well, no wonder, Severus told himself, what did you expect him to answer after a monologue like this?

Tim huddled in a corner of the sofa with some newspapers and Severus took a bunch of articles he had laid aside for reading yesterday.

At some point, Severus had to go to the bathroom. On his way back, he was still in the corridor, a jolt of pain suddenly hit him totally unprepared and brutally with such force that he collapsed on the floor.

His spine felt as if on fire, then, as if somebody gripped it with steel hands, winding and trying to deform it. Severus screamed. What was happening to him? Was he going to transform before the time? Without the wolfsbane potion? Panic rose in him. What if he attacked Tim? Did werewolves do that to other werewolves when they were in their human form? Was it possible at all to transform at another time? He had no time to follow these questions which were whirling around in his head, because another wave of pain went through his body which nearly caused him to faint.

A/N:

Thank you all those who reviewed and for your patience.

Thank you for the hint, Parrot.


	17. 17 First Moon

17 First Moon 

Disclaimer: the plot was my idea, the main characters belong J.K.Rowling, for the source of inspiration check on my list of favourite authors and stories.

Thank you for all your reviews I got so far. One or two more chapters to come.

'Don't worry. It's not what you think. You are not going to transform before time.'

Severus must either have blacked out for a moment or hadn't been able to notice that Tim, alarmed by his screaming, had come from the living room and was kneeling beside him. Fortunately, the pain seemed to ease off slowly now.

'This will go away,' the young man went on, trying to calm him and patted his back awkwardly. 'Try to breathe deeply and regularly, try to relax,' he urged him.

'What … what is this?' Severus gasped desperately.

'Well, I've heard of it. Sometimes happens before the first full moon. I don't think it's dangerous.' Judging from the way he was speaking, Tim wasn't very worried, not as much as Severus would be in a similar situation.

'You mean I …I won't transform?' Severus whispered.

'I've never heard of that,' Tim answered somewhat unmoved.

Severus tried to calm his breathing and lie completely still, because he thought not to move would help to prevent to trigger any further attacks of pain. Then he flinched, because, as he had his eyes closed, he hadn't noticed that Tim had left him for a short time and had come back with a blanket with which he was covering him now.

'I think it would be good to keep warm. Do you want me to find Remus?'

Severus was astonished. Despite his miserable situation he couldn't miss the fact that Tim had actually taken the initiative to do something sensible. Well, this was an extreme incident, but still, Severus hadn't expected that from him.

'If he … but I don't know that,' Severus groaned, 'if he has taken his mobile phone, c …could you try to phone him, please. The number is on a piece of paper in my coat and …. ' The pain wasn't as intensive as before but it had left him stiff all over and breathing was painful, especially in connection with talking. 'There are also some coins you can use for the phone box at the corner of the street.'

Severus wasn't sure if Tim would be capable of such a task, but in extreme situations like this …

'Right, I'll do that.' Tim said, at least some determination in his voice, and got up.

Severus could hear him rummaging in coat pockets and the jingling of coins. He didn't look up because he was too afraid to cause another wave of pain by any unnessecary movement.

'Got it. I'll try to ring him up. Don't worry.' The clicking of the door told Severus that Tim was gone.

While he carefully tried to find a more comfortable position on the floor, he very much hoped that Tim would be able to reach Remus. After having read so much about lycanthropy, Severus himself had neither come across the phenomenon he was currently suffering from nor had he ever read about a werewolf who had transformed beyond the night of the full moon. Tim obviously knew that, too. At least one field the young man had some knowledge about, which wasn't much of a surprise, he mused, as Tim had been a werewolf as far as he could remember. And Remus will tell you the same, Severus told himself, trying to keep the panic which was threatening to overwhelm him, at bay.

'There, Severus. No need to worry. No werewolf was ever known to transform at another time than the full moon. You'd be the first.' Remus spoke softly to calm Severus, who was shivering. His body had become so rigid and cold that the stiffness in itself was causing pain now.

'Great. I've always longed to become special,' Severus commented drily.

'Where does it hurt?'

'The back, mostly.'

'Let's see. Hmm.' Remus took the blanket away and began to pull Severus shirt out of his trousers.

'What are you doing?'

'Lie still, please.' Remus started to examine his back, touching and probing into the muscles.

'Ouch.'

'No wonder. Hard as wood,' Remus stated, murmuring something Severus couldn't understand and probing further, pressed both his hands on Severus' shoulders.

'What …? Will you tell me…'

'Shhh. Don't move. I am trying to soften your muscles, Severus. I'll use a combination of spells and what Muggles would call a massage, but I have to concentrate for that. So don't speak and keep still,' Remus demanded strictly.

From experience, Severus had learned by now when Remus knew what he was doing and when it was time to let him take over. Therefore he gave in, sighed and closed his eyes, waiting for any effects Remus' treatment would have.

At first, there was only the probing against hard unyielding muscle which hurt, but after some time Severus felt his muscles softening and a warmth spreading over his whole body. It was as if Remus caused the stiffnes to dissolve and Severus made the strange experience of being totally relaxed. His body was becoming so light, he even meant to hover over the ground at least an inch. Having hardly ever been in such a state, Severus was surprised how much he was enjoying this. He began to forget everything around him and sighed deeply.

'Hey, before you become too comfortable, I better stop, huh?' Remus punched him in the ribs and caused Severus to get back to reality quickly.

'Uhm. Thank you. That helped a great deal.' Severus sat up, stretched and began to stuff his shirt back into his trousers. 'Where did you learn this? That was quite pleasant, actually. You could make a fortune with that skill of yours, do you know that?'

Remus laughed. 'Well, perhaps. But I don't work to pile up riches. I'd rather help people.' Then he became serious again. 'As good as you may be feeling now, you should rest and spent the time which remains before the moon calm and, if possible, with a lot of sleep. It is likely that the stress of the meeting and the incident with Tim so shortly before your first full moon has caused this. He didn't come back here, after he phoned me, did he?' Remus asked with a tone which gave away that he was without much hope of getting a positive answer.

Severus grabbed the blanket and got up.

'No, but he just might. You can't foresee what he will do next. I doubt that he knows what he's doing, let alone have him plan anything.'

'You're right, I'm afraid,' Remus answered sadly.

'Well, about the resting, … I am so tired I feel like going to bed anyway, if you don't mind?'

'No, go and get some sleep.'

Severus went to get his bed things from the kitchen first and then turned to the living room. As the guest bed in the living room hadn't been transformed back into the sofa, he only had to change Tim's things with his own sheets and went into bed. He kept his clothes on, only took off his shoes. He was so tired, he didn't mind details like that at the moment. Glad to evade anymore thoughts by sleeping, he huddled into the blankets and closed his eyes.

The next day passed uneventful. As Severus took care to prevent another fit by all means, he avoided anything straining or exciting. The only activity which allowed him to follow that strategy, was to stay at home and read. And that was exactly what the two men did during the day, only intercepted by meals, this time prepared by Remus. As he wasn't much of a cook, he made use of his supply of frozen food he kept in the freezing compartment of his fridge. It wasn't bad, though, even to Severus' standards.

They hardly talked that day. Here, Remus' abilities as a social worker together with his own experience as a werewolf began to show. He seemed to sense that Severus was by no means in the mood to talk, which wasn't too difficult as Severus had never been one to speak about his problems to others. If he had done so in the last weeks, it had been a big exception, because he had come to trust Remus nearly as much as he had trusted Albus. But the other werewolf did not only let him in peace, he watched him closely. Severus was certain that Remus knew how desperate and frightened the new werewolf felt about his future, and he was also very sure that Remus would not let him go away like Tim, should he freak out in the last hours before the moon.

He was running. Running, his paws were hitting the soft ground, he passed some trees and shrubs, but it didn't seem to be very fast and he hardly made any progress. He could already hear their shouting and the barking of the wolfhounds. He ran, tried to become faster with all his might, but to no avail. The voices and the dogs came closer and closer. He did not dare to turn and look around.

Then, there was a road which seemed to cut the wood in half. Maybe there was a chance to flee, would running be easier on hard surface? No, and he would be an easy target, in the open. He had to try to reach the other side of the wood. He somehow felt that he would be safe as soon as he would be there. But he didn't know why.

He crossed the road. He saw the car coming. Fast. He was slow, too slow. He could not jump or go faster, nor stop to avoid it. It hit him full speed. It hurt. This was the end. A werewolf run over by a Muggle car. Did that happen often, he wondered? Why wasn't he dead yet? The impact must have broken every single bone in his body. The car had come to a stillstand over him, he was pressed to the ground by the wheels. It still hurt. Only, why did it take so long?

He could see them coming, pointing towards him, gesticulating. Now they would shoot him. Ok, as well. What are you waiting for? Let the bloody wolf suffer a bit longer, eh?

'Severus! SEVERUS!' Was that Remus between the aurors? How could that be? If this was happening during the full moon, he shouldn't appear in his human form. Why didn't he tell them to shoot him, to end his suffering. Was he planning to rescue him? Remus, you are a fool, he thought.

'SEVERUS! Enervate!'

He opened his eyes and looked into the face of a very worried looking Remus Lupin…

'I thought you were having a nightmare again and tried to wake you, but … well, I somehow lost my nerves and stunned you when I thought you would …..anyway, now you are awake.' Remus smiled embarrassedly.

Severus cleared his throat and took a deep breath. He still had to come to terms with the fact that there was no car and no aurors, but that he was lying on his makeshift bed in Remus' living room. He sighed. He had the strong suspicion that the accident on the road had only been evoked by Remus stunning him.

'Yes, and thanks to your spell, my dream took such a turn that I ended up under a car,' he answered in a tone drier than he wanted to, because he didn't really want to criticize his fellow werewolf. At least he had accomplished to end the nightmare.

'Uhm. Sorry about that, I didn't …' Remus looked down, now really embarrassed.

'No, no. That's ok, Remus,' he cleared his throat again and went on in a hoarse voice. 'Who knows how the dream would have ended, that way it was at least shortened.' He let his head fall back into the cushion and hit it with his fist several times. 'Oh I am so fed up with this!' he mumbled, his voice muffled by the fabric, 'I'd wish it was already over.'

'Only one more day, Severus,' Remus tried to encourage him a bit helplessly.

'Yes, but what then? It will only be the beginning, won't it?' Severus looked up at Remus again, not hiding his desparation.

'You'll manage, Severus. You are strong.' Remus nodded to him.

Severus only shrugged his shoulders. Why on earth did everybody believe that he was strong? He had never been like that. His fault, clearly. If you play the tough guy all your life long …

'Remus?'

'Yes?'

'Next time you try to wake me up … Do me a favour and throw a soft cushion, will you?' Severus smiled weakly.

'Yes, sure. No problem.' Remus was still looking a bit embarrassed. Obviously glad to be able to end the conversation at that point, he went out of the room.

Severus took a gulp of water from the glass he had put on the table next to the bed. He did not expect and did not want to fall asleep again, if that would mean another unpleasant adventure in a forest or wherever these bloody nightmares send him. But he did and finally got some hours of dreamless sleep out of the night.

The next day was the last before the full moon. Although Severus hadn't had another disturbing dream and had slept through the rest of the night, he wasn't well rested. A leaden feeling of his body prevented him from getting up and made him wish he could stay in bed, wait until it was over, or as if it wouldn't happen to him if he just stayed in bed, hidden from the moon …

'Morning Severus. I tought you might like some breakfast, or, to be precise, you won't have a chance to say no if it is delivered to you in bed.'

Remus was standing in the doorway, smiling his typical winning Remus-smile, holding a tray on which some breakfast items could be seen.

'Breakfast in bed? I wasn't aware that this was a hotel.'

'Well…' Remus put the tray on the small table next to Severus' bed. 'Special service to special guests. Come, eat a bit. You will feel better tomorrow morning. It's no good to transform with your stomach completely empty. But you'll still have time. We will leave late in the afternoon.'

To please Remus and because it was a sensible thing to to, he ate two toasts and had some tea although he didn't feel a bit hungry.

It was similar at lunch time when Severus managed at least one of Remus' cheese and salad sandwiches and orange juice, although he was feeling sick already. The situation was becoming more and more uncomfortable. Not to be able to do anything, to be confined just to wait was unbearable for him.

In the early afternoon, it was becoming difficult to suppress the panic that was rising inside him, therefore he felt the need to talk to Remus, although he had rather not displayed his despair in such an open way.

'Remus, do you think it's safe if we go through London, I mean … if I leave the flat … what if something like this incident two days ago will happen again?'

'Don't worry, I don't think it will happen again.'

'How can you be sure about that?'

'Well, …I am not sure, I just hope … and you won't be alone this time. You should be safe. …. Uhm, Severus? There's something I have to tell you, it's …'

Suddenly the doorbell rang.

Remus sighed. 'That's what I was going to tell you. It'll be Harry. He'll accompany us to the Ministry. Wait a minute, I'm going to open the door first.' His face showed his bad conscience when he got up and went to the door.

'So you don't trust me, do you?' Severus complained indignantly when Remus returned to the kitchen with Harry behind him. 'Did you plan to bind me and drag me along should I freak out and refuse to come?' Somehow Severus had to admit that they were partly right with their strategy, but he was disappointed nevertheless. And he hated to be seen in this miserable state he was currently in by other people than his social worker.

'I never trust a new werewolf until I am sure that he or she will cope, Severus. That has nothing to do with your person specifically. It's just safer that way, especially if this fit should happen again. I should have told you earlier, I know,' Remus added guiltily and shrugged his shoulders.

'Right. It's about time. Have you got your things?' Harry ended the uncomfortable situation.

They got their small bags which didn't hold much because, as Remus had confirmed, things for changing were provided by the Ministry, and put their coats on. Naturally, they were clad in Muggle clothes, especially in this situation they didn't want to attract unnecessary attention.

Outside, Harry led them to the small park which was nearby and which Severus had come to know quite good during his time at Remus' place when he had gone there for walks.

'We'll walk through the park a bit to get some fresh air and when there are not too many Muggles around, we'll apparate to the Ministry,' Remus explained. 'To be on the safe side, I will apparate you, Severus. Sorry, no experiments today.'

'It's all right,' Severus groaned and thought that he could have done very well without that specific experience tonight.

'What's the problem?' Harry asked. 'I am sure Remus is expert enough not to splinch you.'

'It's not that, Harry. He's got …. apparating sickness.'

'Oh. Well, uhm … we can go by underground or take the bus if you like. There's still enough time,' Harry suggested.

Oh no. Severus just imagined having another attack in the middle of concerned Muggles. That would certainly be worse. Better being apparated by Remus. He hoped that it would be the last time. In the future he would be able and allowed to do it on his own again.

'No, it's ok. We can apparate,' he said without much enthusiasm.

Ten minutes later, Severus was leaning heavily against the phone box in front of the Ministry of Magic, emptying his stomach of the remains of his pitiyful meals he had managed to have during the day with so much difficulty. He was so shaky that despite the phone box, Remus had to hold and steady him in the process.

'Here, have some water.' Harry handed him a glass he had conjured a moment earlier.

'Thanks.'

Severus rinsed his mouth and emptied the glass afterwards. That helped to restore him, if you ignored the fact that his knees were still wobbly and his pulse was racing, which was not only caused by the apparating but rather the forthcoming event he was so much terrified of.

Seeing that Severus had recovered more or less, Remus took the lead again. 'All right, Severus? Can we go on? Then let's go inside.'

The three squeezed into the telephone box and Remus announced them through the receiver. They reached the entrance hall quickly. It wasn't as busy as Severus knew it when he normally came down here or left after work. But it was late afternoon and many employees had gone home already.

'Right, if you two don't mind, I'll be off. Shall I meet you tomorrow when Severus will be registrated?' Harry asked before they turned into the direction of the control desk.

'Well, it would be kind if you could manage. I think it won't do any harm if he'll have another person to give evidence for him,' Remus answered to Harry's offer.

'Ok. I'll be there around lunch, that'll give you enough time. See you.'

Harry left, giving them the impression that he was glad not to have to stay with them during the night. Severus gulped.

'Give evidence?' he gave his social worker a questioning look.

'To convince the jury that you are sensible enough to lead your future life according to the Code of Conduct for Werewolves, of course.'

'What if this "jury" doesn't approve?'

'That won't happen. The worst which can happen is, that you get some conditions to observe. Come now.' Remus took him at his arm.

'What conditions? Remus! Didn't you say once that it would be a routine thing, that registration?' He looked at him disbelievingly.

'Did I? Come, it's about time now.' He steered Severus, who wasn't sure if he could held his still rising panic at bay much longer, but was convinced that this new information Remus had given him didn't help in that respect, towards the control desk.

There they were confronted with an elderly, sour and disinterested looking wizard who didn't make any effort to hide his annoyance. Severus recognized him as a worker of one of the other registries he sometimes had to deliver files to. His demeanor clearly showed that he disapproved of his work, especially at that time of the day.

'Name!' he barked at Remus.

'Remus Lupin. Werewolf number fifty-seven. And this is Severus Snape, also here for the full moon check-in. He hasn't got a number yet, because he is a new one.'

'Evening, Mr. Hawker,' Severus said politely.

'Snape, eh? Having changed sides again, huh? Dreaming of getting a better post as a werewolf in this institution?'

Severus bit his lip and chose not to answer to this. He remembered that Hawker had never been very friendly to him, and why should he now? Although, Severus mused, as one working at the front desk, you would have expected a more service orientated person with more enthusiam towards customers, as they certainly both were, werewolves or not.

'Wands!' he demanded gruffly.

Remus produced his, but didn't hand it over. Instead, he showed the man his Ministry badge.

'Oh, I am sorry,' he smiled at the unfriendly man, trying a strategy of being overwhelmingly friendly to change other people's attitude if they weren't, 'I forgot to tell you that I am a Ministry employee. Therefore I can keep it, I think. I am a werewolf social worker, you know. And Mr. Snape here is an employee as well, without wand, though.'

That didn't impress their stubborn desk officer. Of course, he should have known anyway. There were several lists with names on it, one with "expected werewolves" written on top, and it was giving all the information the man would need, if he wanted it.

'Couldn't have told me earlier, huh?' he grumbled, leafing through his lists until he found their names and ticked them off. Severus could see his squib-number behind his name.

Remus, who must know the procedure, didn't wait for any more comments, and as they were so lucky not to have to rely on any further directions from this person, they passed his desk and headed for the elevator.

When the doors opened, they were confronted with a large poster which gave evidence of the Ministry's latest publicity campaign. Animatedly chatting witches and wizards with colourful robes and hats could be seen who could be identified as Ministry workers and employees by their badges. When the two werewolves stepped in, the persons on the poster didn't turn to look at the two passengers because they were too preoccupied. Straight across the poster was printed in bold flashing letters "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic! Our friendly staff will be delighted to help you with all great and small matters, just ask!"

'Better not,' Remus snorted.

Despite his miserable condition and because the behaviour of the desk officer had distracted him a bit, Severus managed a weak smile. Somebody had scribbled a comment on the side of the poster. It read: "Then why don't you let the staff use the elevator to read this?"

When they reached the dungeon-level and the doors opened, they could feel that the temperature had fallen by several degrees. Dungeon climate. Nothing new to Severus and somehow even a bit comforting, because he was so used to it.

They were in a part of the building where Severus had never been before (what reason should he have had to go near somewhere where werewolves were lodging once a month?) but which was very well known to Remus who walked quickly, not hesitating at the turns and crossings. There were no signs to show the way. To move around down here you either had to know your way very thoroughly or you needed to have a guide.

Glad to have a subject he could talk about, he asked Remus about this. 'I can't be the only one who isn't familiar with this part of the dungeons. Do others get a guide as well to find their way or do they let the werewolves run around here unguided and, what would strike me more: unguarded?'

'The new ones are collected by a social worker at the entrance, and if you've been here once, and … don't you smell it?' Remus suddenly asked and stopped abruptly, sniffing.

Severus imitated him. 'Yes, you're right. Smell's like … uhm well, when I was in the zoo, at the wolves' cage …'

'Severus, really!' Remus interrupted him indignantly. 'When did you do that? And what for?' he shook his head.

'I don't know. Perhaps to get used to them, not to see them in my nightmares if I'd already seen them at daylight?' Severus shrugged his shoulders. 'What did you expect me to say, huh? That it smells like family?'

Remus didn't answer but walked on, Severus following closely.

When they reached the actual werewolf dungeon, to Severus' surprise, it didn't seem that uninviting. For once, it didn't have the typical dungeon atmosphere most people would expect from such a place, like cold, damp, musty and dark. To the contrary: it was warm and dry, and torches were spending a warm light. The only thing which raised a uncomfortable feeling in Severus, was the fact that there were real cells with iron bars. The werewolf dungeon was simply a big hall with cells lined up along the walls with a long corridor in the middle. A prison. Worse, a prison were everybody could be seen by everybody.

'What? Don't you like our hotel?' Remus asked when Severus had stopped to look at the location.

'I hadn't expected it to be ….well, …open like that.'

'Oh, that. Now, you won't have the chance to watch the others, nor will they be able to see you during the transformation. The change usually takes place at the same moment, so don't worry. And as we will all be wearing the same stylish nightshirts, there is nothing really embarrassing about that.' He laughed.

'Hm.'

Remus marched in the direction of a witch who was sitting behind a desk at the beginning of the corridor, holding a clipboard. Next to heon a trestle, stood a cauldron with a lid. A door stood open to her right into a room where rows of lockers could be seen. As soon as she recognized Remus, she beamed at them.

'There! My favourite werewolf! And you've brought someone new, I see,' she greeted them. Quite a contrast to the sullen man they had experienced a few minutes ago. Here seemed to be a person who was actually glad to see werewolves.

She had short brown hair, blue eyes and an open friendly face. Her freckles and her laugh added to the amiable impression Severus got from her. Well, you could even call her attractive, he thought.

'Hi, Siona.' Remus smiled back. Severus wasn't quite sure, maybe it was the light down here, but he meant to see Remus blushing slightly.

'Alright then,' she looked in her list to find their names. 'Severus Snape, yes? And may I ask, what was your weight? Just in case we have to shoot you with a tranquilizer,' she added when Severus looked a bit confused. 'You know, we don't want to put you to sleep for ever accidentally with an overdose.'

Severus gulped, having a picture in his mind of several aurors, aiming with blowpipes at him. But before he could answer anything, she laughed rightout.

'Just joking. If need should be, you'd simply get stunned. Although that's not always the best method, as it can lead to heart failure. But it's the cheapest, that's for sure. The wolfsbane potion is expensive enough already.' She grinned at them, lifted the lid of the cauldron and began to fill two goblets with a ladle.

'Now, as you are new here, I am obliged to give you some directions,' she addressed Severus in a tone a bit more serious. 'First, you have to drink the wolfsbane potion at once, in my presence, so that I will be able to testify that you've really swallowed it. But mind, If you spill it, or you can't keep it, that is to say: if you throw up, you will have to pay for the second goblet yourself. And as a precaution, should that case happen, would you mind to step back a bit, because I don't want the mess all over my papers. When you have drunk it, you can go over to the lockers and get changed. You can choose a free locker without a number. As soon as you've been registered, you will have a personal locker with your werewolf registration number on it. Please leave all personal things in there, only wear the nightshirt and the socks. Your belongings will be safe, as nobody will be allowed to go into the locker room during the night, and it will be guarded while the werewolves have access now and in the morning. Any questions?'

'No. Thank you.'

'Good. Go ahead then.'

Severus gripped his goblet and, as being told, went a step back. He watched Remus drinking the potion Severus himself had brewed so many times for him. From his companion's complaints, he knew that the taste must be absolutely horrid. That was the reason why there was a lid on the cauldron. And the goblet Severus was holding was evaporating a foul stench which caused him to breathe through his mouth to prevent any uprising nausea beforehand.

Remus pinched his nose, closed his eyes and swallowed the potion as quickly as possible. He grimaced and breathed through his mouth afterwards to minimize the unavoidable effect of taste and smell. When he had done and placed the goblet back on Siona's desk, he looked at Severus expectantly.

He did as Remus had done. It was worse than he had expected. Absolutely disgusting. He had to fight hard to persuade his stomach to keep the stuff and not to throw up. Breathing through the mouth didn't help that much, really. He wasn't afraid of paying for a second or even a third goblet full, if need be. There was simply no way they would let you stay down here without having drunk the potion, that was for sure, but it wasn't his greatest fear (although he wouldn't dare to ask what would happen if you didn't manage to drink it). If there was something he was more afraid of than the transformation, it was to transform without the wolfsbane potion into a genuine rabid werewolf.

'Well done, Mr. Snape. Your first step on your way to a proper law-abiding werewolf,' Siona commented, after he had put his goblet back on her desk as well, and she signed after his name in the list. 'Now you sign.'

She turned the clipboard for them and they both signed in the last column which bore the title 'werewolf's signature'.

'A word, Siona,' Remus said in a low voice.

'Yes?'

'Tim hasn't shown up yet, has he?'

'No. I was already wondering. Why didn't you bring him? Did he run away again?'

'Yes,' Remus sighed. 'I didn't want to shut him in, you know.'

'No, of course not. He's old enough to know what he's doing, I hope so at least. But if he doesn't begin to show some responsible behaviour, I am afraid others will be doing that for him very soon.'

She looked at the door behind Remus and Severus, where the two had come in a few minutes ago. Three aurors in their gear and armed with crossbows had entered. Siona lowered her voice as she continued.

'Sorry about that Remus. I'll keep my eyes open, but as far as I know, they aren't after him yet. We can talk about a strategy tomorrow, all right?'

'Yes, I'll meet you in your office after Severus' registration which will not be before lunch.'

'Ok. A good night for you two then.' She nodded and gave them another encouraging smile.

'And you gentlemen, what can I do for you?' they heard her addressing the aurors as they went over to the locker room, 'they haven't all checked in yet.'

As they went, Severus saw that some cells were occupied already, and when they entered the changing room, they met another werewolf. A young tall man with brown hair he had bound into a ponytail. He was already dressed in a brown cotton nightshirt and gray woollen socks.

'Hi Remus. Bright and clear tonight, isn't it? I hate it when it's all cloudy and you cannot see the moon properly.'

'Evening, Nicolas. This is Severus Snape.'

'Hi.' He nodded in Severus direction. 'Well, I'm off. I'm a bit late, and I want to do an hour yoga at least.' He strode past them towards the corridor with the cells.

'Our tenor.' Remus smiled.

'What?'

'He's got a nice voice, as a werewolf I mean. But in his normal life he also sings in a choir. A Muggle choir. They don't know, of course. And he is very much into meditation.'

'I see.'

Remus went to his personal locker while Severus chose one without a number and they started to get changed. He thought that he would still need quite some time to get used to the fact that werewolves were normal people most of the time of their life, and not some strange freaks with a disease which wasn't controllable. Well, was it really? So much depended on the taking of the wolfsbane potion, and if the wolf didn't take it, there wasn't much left of the control, as he had already experienced painfully. But he was well aware that if he didn't accept lycanthropy as it was, he would never be able to lead a normal life again.

When they had finished, Remus showed Severus to a cell in the middle of the corridor. In the neighbouring cell there was a man with a young girl.

'Gregory Mc Pharson and his daughter Celia,' Remus introduced them. 'Make yourself comfortable, I have to talk to Siona once more.' He left the cell.

'Evening.' Severus greeted father and daughter. Another 'family case', he mused. He could only guess who had bitten whom.

The teenage girl approached the bars and smiled at Severus. 'Hi. New here or even new wolf?' She was skinny with short blonde hair.

'Yes. Is it that obvious, or do the London werewolves all know each other?'

'No, but Remus often takes new wolves into his cell. So you are either new in London, or a new wolf. First time, then?'

Severus only nodded.

'You seem to know everything here, have you been coming for a long time?' he asked, but only to be polite and getting the conversation going.

'As far as I remember, yes. We lived in the countryside, but when my mother had bitten us, my father and I moved to London. He thought it to be better. Although you are more under control here, you are also better cared for. Most werewolf social workers are quite nice, and he is always afraid, should something happen to him …'

Severus didn't dare to ask what had happened to her mother, because if she was still alive, she would be with them, wouldn't she?

'You don't care to tell me who has bitten you, do you?'

'No, I didn't recognize the person behind the wolf. It was in a wood and dark.'

'That's what everybody says. I don't believe you.' She looked seriously at him as if she was trying to read his thoughts. Automatically, Severus concentrated to prepare to occlude his mind from her, you never knew who was able to do Legilimency, but she didn't need to. Facts about werewolves were so widely known and obvious that you only had to guess.

'Well, it couldn't have been my mother, because they shot her after she had attacked us,' she informed him, her face motionless.

'I am sorry about that.'

'Never mind. I was three years old. I don't remember much.' She shrugged her shoulders and turned away from him to join her father who had watched them but hadn't said anything during their conversation and was now settling down on a mat.

Severus took a closer look at their own cell. It was simple but clean. On the floor in the middle there were two soft mats and blankets, near the entrance two bowls filled with water and at the back a kind of rectangular compartment which was railed in with low wooden planks and filled with sand. As there was nothing left to do for him, Severus chose one of the mats and sat down as well.

From this point, he was able to see most of the other cells. Many were occupied by now, mostly by two or three persons, men an women mixed. As with his neighbours, it seemed to be the policy to let families and friends stay together. He observed that some were very quiet, simply sitting on their mats, some busy with playing cards and talking, some lying under their blankets. Two young women opposite him were playing chess quietly. Another man on the very far end of the corridor was pacing restlessly to and fro. Severus could also locate Nicolas who was sitting on his mat in a yoga pose, eyes closed. Just as he began to ponder about the right way he should probably spend the last hour before the transformation, Remus came back.

'You can do what you like. I forgot to bring something, unfortunately. Maybe next time, we can play chess as well or you could bring something to read.'

Severus hadn't realized that there was quite a span of time to fill in before the transformation and hadn't thought of bringing anything, a book for example. But he doubted that he would be able to concentrate much at the moment anyway.

Remus bent down and patted him on the back.

'You'll manage, Severus, you'll see.'

'I don't doubt that, Remus. How can I, with so many confident werewolves around?' he smiled grimly at his companion.

'Right. I have always found it relaxing to lie down.' Doing as he had said, Remus made himself comfortable on the other mat, pulling a blanket close around him. 'But don't hesitate to ask me if you have any questions or want to talk, ok?'

'Yes, thanks.' Severus, believing in Remus as a good example, lay down as well.

Now, that he wasn't distracted by any activities, like changing clothes or talking, he was forced to concentrate just on his person. Thus, he could feel his heartbeat quickening every minute. This was obviously not a good means to spend the remaining time before the transformation, but he couldn't think of anything else. About what should he talk with Remus, then? Tell him that he was afraid? And then what? Remus knew that already. There was absuloutely nothing one could do to reduce Severus' fear. He could only lie and wait, trying not to listen to his heartbeat which by now was accompanied by a buzzing sound in his ears.

Severus shifted on his mat to get a better view on his inmates. That way he was able to watch the two chess playing women and Nicolas and could direct his attention a bit away from his own person. It helped a bit, but not much.

A few minutes later, Siona came down the corridor, accompanied by the three aurors they had seen earlier.

'Half an hour, guys! Doors will be closed now. Everything ok? Any problems?'

As nobody answered, the aurors directed their wands towards the locks of the cell doors and locked them magically. Then they went back to the entrance where Siona had her desk. Severus wasn't able to see them but they had obviously taken position there, because he could hear them speaking, although he wasn't able to understand what they were talking about.

'10 Minutes, approximately. A good night to you all,' Siona could be heard from the back.

The buzzing in his ears became louder. That loud, that he wasn't able to hear anything else, except his heartbeat. His hands became sweaty and he also felt beads of sweat running down his back and front. He clung with his hands to the mat, digging deep with his fingers into the fabric. He couldn't prevent his breath becoming quicker. Absolute panic overcame him, sheer terror made his body shiver. Then, he suddenly did hear something else: screaming. So the transformation had begun, at least for some of them, why didn't it happen to him? There wasn't any chance that…?

Then the pain hit with full force. He couldn't say if it was his screaming he heard. With a violence he hadn't known before, his body was twisted and pulled, he thought that every single bone in his body would break under the pressure. His spine seemed to bend unnaturally, the pain was unbearable, he began to see colours, more screaming, darkness.

Something or somebody was prodding him in the ribs. As he couldn't stand to be woken up like this at all, he tried to stop this impertinent person, but the only thing he managed was a loud deep growl.

Then he remembered. The transformation.

When Severus finally opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the face of a big grey brown wolf who was standing over him, looking … well, if he could guess anything from the wolf's expression, … concerned. He seemed somehow familiar, and, anyway, a wolf looking like that could only be Remus Lupin.

While the two wolves were looking at each other, Severus suddenly realized that between his eyes was protruding a long black snout with a wet tip at the end. His nose. There was no doubt, the transformation had worked.

Remus started making small whining noises. It seemed to Severus that the other wanted to encourage him to do something. But what? What was he supposed to do now?

'What is it, Lupin? Is he all right?' came a voice from the corridor and another added 'Make him stand up and walk a bit, that we can see if he's all right!'

The aurors were standing outside the cell, holding clipboards and making notes. Siona was there as well.

What now? Wasn't it enough that he had transformed? Remus could have told him a bit more about what was expected from him in his wolf's form. Well, he could have asked him himself as Remus had offered before he had settled down on the mat. But as he could see that the aurors also had their crossbows ready at hand, he decided that it would be better to do as they demanded and tried to get up.

And that turned out to be difficult. He needed some time to get on all fours, staying like that seemed to be another problem. Severus was a bit astonished about that, because he had expected that the movement of the animal he had been forced to transform to, would come more natural. But he also knew that animagi had not only work hard to become an animal, they also had to train behaviour and movement. But he hadn't foreseen that it would be that difficult. He was even a bit disappointed, because unlike an animagus, he had been forced into the wolf's form and the least recompensation he had wished for was to be able to move like a real wolf and not like a little puppy who tried to walk the first time in his life.

Severus turned around carefully to get a full view of his body. Black. He was pitch black. He didn't know if that was rare, but he actually liked his colour. But what fascinated him even more, was the fact that he had an additional limb: a long, black bushy tail. He tried to move it and nearly lost his balance he had gained with so much difficulty.

He felt uncomfortable, to say the least. There he was standing, his legs wobbly, the aurors standing and watching him, everybody obviously expecting some performance from him. And now, Remus started to walk around him, sniffing him over. Well, canines did that, didn't they, but they also, … wait a minute, he wasn't going to let Remus sniff his rear, that was for sure. They weren't real animals after all, and they didn't have to pretend. He growled menacingly (at least something which came naturally to him) and sat down to prevent any further sniffing activities from his social worker. Remus stopped, but started prodding him again.

Severus, unnerved, growled, but gave in. He stood up again and tried a few steps. It worked. Slowly, but it worked. He even managed to pace the whole range of the cell twice. When he stopped to see any reactions from either Remus or the aurors, he saw Remus nodding appreciatingly. That, of course, didn't look very wolf-like, but as Severus had learned, there were werewolves who believed in really being a wolf and only showing the animal's proper behaviour, and those who didn't care about that, but focused more on the communication between wolves and non-wolves and behaved partly like humans in wolf's form.

'Well done!' Siona exclaimed.

Severus had already been wondering why she hadn't said anything so far. Clearly, she as well was controlled by the aurors and as a social worker stood under them in the Ministry's hierarchy.

'Right. And now some trot, please,' one of the aurors demanded.

Oh, he couldn't believe that! This wasn't a performance in a circus, was it?

'Please, what's that good for? He has shown us that he is all right already,' Siona protested. And Severus was sure that they only asked that of him to have some fun.

'We want to see some more of his coordination skills, that's all,' the other auror explained in a tone which made unmistakebly clear that there was no way out of this.

'You can have some of my coordination skills when I've transformed back,' Severus thought enraged and started to trot. It was a diagonal walk and if you concentrated and kept to this pattern, it wasn't too difficult. Especially if you were enraged, he found out. After a round in the cell he stopped in front of the aurors and looked at them, his eyes closed to slits which he was sure made him quite an angry werewolf. But he refrained from growling, to be on the safe side. At least, the aurors were the ones with the crossbows.

'All right. That's enough,' one of them said, yawning. He suddenly seemed to have lost interest in making harmless werewolves walk and trot at his will. But the other auror bent down to get a closer look to something he had detected. 'Mark on left forleg,' he murmed and scribbled something down. 'Enjoy yourself.' He gave the other cells and their inhabitants another quick look, made a last note and then both turned to leave.

Siona stayed behind for a second and winked at him. 'Very well done. And …' she gave him a broad grin 'very pretty coat you've got there.' Then she also left, waving her wand in the process, causing the torches to dim their light.

Mark? Severus looked down on his left leg. Indeed, there was a long white stripe of scar fur, shining boldly between all the black. But it was only a remembrance of the scar he had been carrying for the last three years, not the other mark which would have been quite embarrassing.

Now, as the aurors had gone, you could feel the atmosphere becoming more relaxed immediately. Some wolves marched to the sides of their cells to say hello to their neighbours in their animal form through the bars, some simply walked around or trotted, for what reason, Severus didn't know, some went to the their water bowls, others were still lying on their mats, sleeping or resting. He himself had no clue what to do. He would have to rely on Remus, wondering at the same time when the howling would begin.

And now, Severus had the chance to recognize the function of the sandpit, as Remus marched over there, stepped in and lifted his leg unceremoniously to urinate into the sand. Severus felt a certain need as well, but wasn't feeling too enthusiastic about it. To use a toilet that openly, … in front of women and children … well, this was their personal cell, wasn't it? It wasn't his fault, that they all could see each other through the bars and as he wouldn't be able to hold out until the morning anyway, he didn't really have a choice.

He stalked over to the said place after Remus had finished, stepped in and … right, this wasn't going to be easy. Walking and a bit of a trot on four legs he had already got used to, but standing on three, lifting one and … Now, if he wanted to avoid one thing, it was toppling over into the sand while peeing, that would be too embarrassing. After thinking a few seconds he found a solution he himself thought to be quite clever. He stepped nearer to the wall, lifted one of his hindlegs and put it against the wall. That way he wasn't in danger of neither falling over nor wetting himself.

Quite content with the result of this unusual exercise he had gotten through with some dignity at least, he left the wolf toilet and went back to Remus to watch him doing another thing which Severus thought would even be more complicated. Remus was standig at one of the bowls, lapping up water.

The first thought which came to his mind was, that is was quite thoughtful of the people who were responsible for the werewolf dungeon, to put water bowls for each werewolf in the cells. It was definitely nicer to have one's own fresh water and not to have to share it with another wolf, or, more precisely, drinking water where the other had already had his tongue in. Severus was very peculiar in that respect.

As he suddenly found that he was indeed thirsty, he walked over to the remainig bowl and dipped his nose into the water, tongue stuck out. That, of course, didn't work. He got water into his nose and had to sneeze heavily. Remus looked at him and bent down again as if to demonstrate how to do it properly. Severus watched him for a moment and tried again. Finally, he managed to lap enough water to quench his thirst but found it quite tiring and wondered at the same time how canines and their relatives were able to get their their daily amount of liquid by this technique.

After this experience, the next followed promptly. Severus noticed that the other werewolves he was able to see from his place seemed to gather in a way. Where there were more wolves in a cell, they sat side by side, all looking in the same direction, up at the wall. There, at the end of the corridor was a row of long narrow openings in the wall, directly placed high up where the wall met the ceiling, who let some dim light in. Severus hadn't even noticed these windows before, but if you watched closely, you could see some stars blinking in the sky. It was quite clear where the light came from. It was the planet they all were bound to by their fate, which they feared and hated but were at the same time drawn to.

Severus followed Remus, who had sat down in the middle of their cell already, automatically. He sat down two feet away from his social worker, waiting expectantly, ears pricked.

Suddenly, one single wolf began to howl. Another answered. For half a minute or so, they seemed to sing a duet. Then others followed. Severus was fascinated. This was …. yes, he could frankly say that he found it beautiful. It touched his heart. He was wondering… should he? He remembered what he had said to Remus some weeks ago: howling, like real animals. And if so?

And then, Remus joined in the chorus. Now, Severus couldn't hold back any longer. At first timidly, then a bit louder, more confident. He was howling! Severus Snape, the werewolf was howling in the Ministry's dungeon together with two dozen other wolves. He couldn't believe it. The tones he heard from the others and those he produced himself reverberated through his body down to his stomach. This felt good. It was easy, came naturally. He understood now, what Remus had wanted to express when he had tried to explain what the howling meant for the wolves. At least once a month you felt that you belonged somewhere and that there were others who felt the same. Family? He didn't know if he would call it that, but it felt definitely good.

After about half an hour, the howling ebbed away. One by one, the voices faded away. For some minutes there was absolute silence as if they were all waiting for an echo.

Then, everybody got up and went his or her own way. Some settled down on their mats and blankets at once, others went to their water bowls first, but in general, it looked as if the "party" was over now and everybody was on his way to bed.

Indeed, Severus found that the howling, not to forget the transformation itself, had been quite tiring. But it was a pleasant sort of tiredness which overcame him. He, too, drank a bit from his bowl before he went to his mat. There, sleepy and lost in thought, he trampled in small circles several times before he lay down. When he noticed this, he stopped, a bit startled, but then had to smile inwardly. So much for having everything under control due to the wolfsbane. Some things obviously did come naturally by instinct. This typical canine way to settle down, normally served to scare away vermin and other unbidden little guests from your bed in the open. But if it was also practiced by lap dogs on the sofa, why shouldn't it work for werewolves as well?

He threw a look at Remus who seemed to be sleeping already. Severus himself was so tired that he didn't have much time to muse about his newly gained experience as a werewolf or his condition in general. His last thought, though, before he fell asleep was, that the howling could be improved much if it was practiced in the open, somewhere with wood and hills. Definitely.


	18. 18 Bureaucracy

**18 ****Bureaucracy**

When Severus woke, or what he thought was waking up, his head hurt so much that he had the impression that it would burst any minute. It became worse when he opened his eyes slightly, the light increasing his discomfort and creating nausea. He closed his eyes again, but it didn't help much. He groaned.

'Shhh. Severus,' somebody whispered and touched him at the shoulder. Remus. Always there when you needed him, the suffering werewolf thought. 'Just drink the potion and you'll feel better at once. I'll help you, come.'

Severus was too busy fighting against the urge to throw up and was also feeling very weak, therefore he wasn't able to react at once.

'It's the same potion you brewed for me back in Hogwarts, you know. Don't open your eyes, just drink. Come on, I'll help you up,' Remus urged and pulled him up into a sitting position.

Severus, who, under normal circumstances, would have never drunk anything of unknown origin, obeyed, kept his eyes closed shut and opened his mouth when Remus held a goblet to his lips. It didn't taste that bad, well, compared to the wolfsbane potion, everything else would be called delicious.

'Try to sleep again. That will help. That and the potion,' his social worker whispered, lowering Severus back on his mat and covering him with his blanket. 'Sleep.'

With the help of the potion which made him sleepy and caused the horrible headache to fade away, Severus had no problems to fall asleep again nearly immediately.

The next time Severus woke up, he felt definitely better. Still tired, considerably worn out and weak, but nothing compared to some time ago when he was still suffering from the full extent of the moon hangover.

It was very quiet in the dungeon, everybody seemed to have gone already. He sat up and looked around. He wasn't alone. Remus was sitting near the open door of the cell, leaning against the bars. He was already wearing his normal clothes, jeans and a grey cotton shirt. He was holding a clipboard on which he had obviously been making notes, but had stopped when Severus woke up.

His social worker was looking at him with a worried expression which caused Severus, who had been about to say something to him, hesitate. Was something wrong? He looked about himself. As far as he could see, everything was back in place, his bones seemed to have rearranged back, no tail left, he touched his face, his nose. Fortunately, everything was all right.

'Morning Remus. Is anything wrong?'

'Uhm, no. Morning, Severus.'

'Why are you looking so worried, then?' Severus stretched and noticed that he was quite hungry, actually.

Remus cleared his throat and scratched his unshaved chin. He looked embarrassed when he finally answered in a low voice.

'Well, this was your first moon, Severus, and I was the one who …'

'Don't, Remus! You know that I said I wouldn't blame you. And, what is more, …' he frowned, 'you should know better than to discuss this here. I wouldn't trust many of the people who are working in this building, and even if there's nobody to be seen, …' he smiled and shook his head.

'I know,' Remus sighed, 'but it will always haunt me, I can't help it, Severus.' He shrugged his shoulders and smiled weakly. 'So, how are you feeling then?'

'A bit tired. Thank you for giving me the potion, I wouldn't have been able to take it myself.'

Remus nodded, but didn't say anything, therefore Severus went on asking him the questions which were pressing him.

'Tell me, Remus, is it always like that? How are the others coping, I mean, … they are not fed the relief potion, are they? By the way, where is everybody?'

'They woke up earlier and went to breakfast in the canteen. There is a reduction on breakfast for werewolves the morning after the full moon. Don't worry Severus, you will get used to it after a few times.' When Severus gave him a questioning look, he added 'Meaning, you'll wake up earlier, take the potion yourself and recover more quickly. But now you should eat a bit. Siona has brought some breakfast. I've already had mine.'

During their conversation, they had talked over the distance from where Severus was sitting on his mat in the middle of the cell, and Remus' place near the door. Now, Severus got up. After the transformation, his nightshirt and his socks had reappeared, so he needn't worry about not being dressed properly. But he picked the blanket up. It wasn't feeling that warm down here any more, since he wasn't wearing neither fur nor his full clothing.

He walked over to Remus and sat down next to him, the blanket pulled around his shoulders closely. Remus placed a bowl which was filled to the brim with porridge and a steaming mug of tea in front of Severus. He began to eat in silence, but when he noticed that Remus had started srcibbling on his clipboard again, he looked up.

'What's that?' Severus pointed with his spoon towards the sheet Remus had filled with notes. As it was a kind of form with printed text, Remus had also made crosses and ticked some senteces off. The sheet that Severus could see read "Werewolf Report, form A 2" on the top.

'The report for your file.'

'Let me see.'

'It's confidential.'

Severus snorted. 'I beg your pardon, Remus,' he said with mock indignation, knowing that Remus couldn't really mean it, since he was writing right in front of the wolf the report was meant to be on. 'This is about my person, and I am not a criminal!' He stretched out his hand to take the clipboard and the other didn't object.

'Werewolf copes with the effects of his first transformation well, bad, not at all … Doesn't show distress … Acts sensible …….' Severus read aloud. 'Hey! How do you know all that? And here, all that what you have written while I was asleep, how could you possibly give a judgement on me? You haven't even asked me, have you?'

'Well, I asked you how you were feeling and I knew you are a sensible person, Severus. And it will definitely help to show you in a preferable light.' Remus grinned conspiratorially, now appearing as the old Remus Lupin again.

'I see.' Severus raised his brows. 'Do you now want to know what I think, how I am feeling about all this?'

'Yes, if you don't mind.' Remus became serious again and looked slightly uneasy.

'Well, then,' Severus took a deep breath. 'There is no denying that the transformation itself is horrible, unbearable,' … he shrugged his shoulders, 'whatever you want, you know best yourself. The rest was, well … interesting. I mean, I wouldn't mind being a wolf as an animagus. That wouldn't be too bad. With a bit of training, considering behaviour and movements …' Severus snorted, recalling the last night. 'And the howling, …' He made a demonstrative pause, looking into Remus' eyes who was listening expectantly to Severus' report. 'That was fascinating. I am not sure that this would be the proper word to describe what I felt, Remus, but I think I know now what you meant when you explained it to me the first time. I definitely enjoyed that.'

At this point, Remus beamed at him and Severus was glad that he had achieved to make his social worker and friend happy again.

'Really?'

'Yes. But I don't know what else could be of interest to you. Just ask.'

'Uhm. I think that should be enough for now. Anyway, the hearing and your registration will be in half an hour. You better get changed now. There are showers in the room behind the lockers.'

'Good. I'll go then. Oh, by the way, the porridge was delicious. Say thank you to Siona for me if you meet her, will you?'

'I'll certainly do that. She's nice, isn't she?' Remus asked with a dreamily expression on his face which Severus had never seen before on him.

'Of course. There are not many who like werewolves, and as she is one of those, she must be a nice person,' he confirmed, smiling at Remus who was still wearing that expression on his face and seemed to look right through Severus' person. That absent, he wasn't able to notice the other's smile.

'Right, I am off then. Will you wait for me? I am not sure that I will find the right room up there. … Remus?'

'Huh? Oh, yes, certainly. I am your social worker, I'll take you there.'

On the way up, they walked in silence for a while, but after some time, Severus couldn't help asking Remus about the hearing.

'What will it be like, the hearing, Remus? Who will be there and what are they going to ask?'

'In general, it is just a formality, Severus. But I don't know about the procedure in detail. I am not allowed to be present.'

'What? But you are a werewolf social worker! If not you, who else should be present at such a hearing?' Severus had stopped and looked at Remus unbelievingly.

'Uhm, well, it's… They say they want a neutral atmosphere and don't want the social worker to influence the werewolf,' Remus balled his fists and continued unnerved 'but the truth is, they don't trust the social workers who work with werewolves, especially if they are werewolves themselves, that's why!'

'Oh dear. I thought I'd have some support by your presence.' Severus sighed. 'I should have guessed. But if they don't trust a model werewolf like you, I think I don't really want to know how much trust the hearing committee has towards a werewolf with a past like mine. I bet there is a "not-ever-to-be-trusted" stamp in my personal file.'

'Of course, what did you think!' Remus said sarcastically and snorted. 'Come on, it's late, let's go and face them.' Remus clapped him on the shoulder and they walked on towards the elevator which brought them several floors upstairs.

When they had reached the right department, Remus slowed down a bit and Severus, who had never been here before, had a chance to take a closer look. At the beginnig of the corridor they had entered, several heavy oak doors with chains and strong locks could be seen.

'Cells for special cases,' Remus informed him when he saw Severus' questioning look. 'There we are.'

They had stopped at the end of the corridor where an official looking piece of parchment was pinned to a door, which read "Hearing and registration of Snape, Severus, werewolf, 11.55".

'We are just in time. Go in, and … good luck!' Remus said encouragingly.

Severus didn't hesitate, stepped towards the door and knocked briskly. When he heard a muffled "come in!" he gripped the handle and stepped in.

He didn't know exactly what he had expected, but he had thought that there would be a small group of Ministry officials, not more than five people, perhaps. But here he suddlenly found himself confronted with at least twenty or even more witches and wizards, sitting behind a large table which had the shape of a horseshoe.

'Good morning.' He bowed slightly and tried to hide his astonishment. To be polite and as unobtrusive as possible was the only means he could think about at the moment as being the proper behaviour for this occasion.

'Come closer,' a wizard with a long white beard demanded strictly, but not unfriendly.

Severus stepped into the middle of the assembly. He gave them a quick look round. Most of them were about Albus's age if he had been alive, but not all. Some were even younger than himself. From their features and build he thought that they could well be aurors and then he even recognized one of them as being one of the aurors who had been in the dungeon last night.

'Would you give us your name, please.'

'Severus Snape.'

'Right,' the elderly wizard went on. 'Let's verify some of your dates, then.' He sorted his papers and the others followed his example. They all had obviously a copy of his personal file in front of them, some had already started making notes, although Severus hadn't said more than his name yet.

The elderly wizard asked him a lot of things and Severus wondered what this was good for. He couldn't see a reason behind giving them all his personal data, like date of birth, names and profession of parents, when he left primary school, and so on …

He was sure that these dates were already in the papers they had in front of them. Harmless facts, really. To the contrary, they didn't show particular interest in the more delicate periods of his lifetime. Didn't want to know any particulars about his time as a death eater, for example, just when he had started working for the Order of the Phoenix, at what day he had started his job as a potions teacher at Hogwarts, just dates. Was there a strategy behind this? If so, it could only be to lull him into a false sense of security, because somehow he was sure that there were more serious questions to come.

Just in case somebody was trying to work legilimency on him, Severus occluded his mind, but not totally. He was not so stupid to close his mind down from any penetration, because that would be too obvious, should a good legilimens be present. And he couldn't just shut out pictures of the night of the full moon, when everything had happened, during the hearing. He chose another technique. He simply (only that it wasn't simple, as he hadn't had practice for some time) projected another image of the said night, in which two werewolves and himself were playing a role. The memories weren't coherent, though. How could they have been, he had been terrified. Terrified at first about Remus changing into the wolf's form and then of the other wolf, of course, back there in the wood. Severus hoped that this was convincing enough, should somebody choose to cast an eye on his thoughts.

What struck him again was, that nobody wanted to know in detail what had excatly happened at that night. Something he would have expected and had tried to be prepared for mentally.

And what were all the other people at the hearing there for? he wondered again, as only the wizard with the long white beard was asking questions. Were they silent watchers, only to observe him, to judge him from his reactions?

Then, suddenly, it seemed to be over. Severus saw the other members of the congregation shuffling and sorting their papers, as if they expected the session to be finishing soon.

'Right, a last question, Mr. Snape. You have received a copy of the "Code of Conduct for Werewolves"?'

'Yes, I have.'

'Good, I believe you are sensible enough to understand not only what is written in it, but the seriousness of your situation in general.'

'I do.'

'Fine. You may be wondering why I am asking, but it is part of the procedure before I can ask you to take your oath on the Code.' The wizard smiled, but Severus sensed some danger coming from him and the others, as if everybody was waiting for the final, important question.

'You see, the other werewolf you have talked to the healers at St. Mungo's about… this second wolf, if you would like to call Mr. Lupin the first. He didn't abide to the Code. He overstepped the line by not taking the wolfsbane, or, at least, not confining himself where he wouldn't have been any harm to others, didn't he not?'

'Sure,' Severus said without much emotion. So that was it. Now they were coming to the point where he had to prove their story and clear up any inconsistencies.

'You will understand that we will do everything to get hold of this werewolf to prevent any further accidents. Therefore we would appreciate it if you could give us a closer description of the said wolf, Mr. Snape.' He smiled, trying to look encouragingly.

'I understand fully, sir, but, you see, I was terrified at that moment. It came out from nowhere. I wasn't able to do magic at the time and even if, I wouldn't have been able. And it was quite dark.'

'You cannot remember a detail, something you have remembered in the meantime, in the last weeks? How did the wolf look like?'

'As I've said already, it was dark, despite of the full moon, I mean. We were in a wood. It look like any other wolf. Not that I know many. This was before I was so lucky to meet all the other wolves in the dungeons last night.' Severus couldn't help being a bit sarcastic, but managed tried to stay calm with all his might, trying not to picture the image of the cellar, where the two had been shut in, in his mind.

'And Mr. Lupin was there and helped you to scare the werewolf away? What a lucky coincidence, I say!' The white haired wizard raised his brows doubtfully.

'No. He alone attacked the other wolf. I wasn't able.' No, he thought, you are not going to make me betray … he better not thought his name, just in case.

'Are you sure? I mean, after werewolf bites and together with the state you were afterwards in that night, couldn't it be possible that you had double vision?'

'No. As I said, there were Mr. Lupin and the other wolf and they were fighting. How would you explain that with double vision? I fainted at that point, so I cannot tell you anything about what happened after the bite. When I woke, it was morning, the other wolf had gone and Mr. Lupin had transformed back.'

'Well, if you say so.' the wizard sighed. The others started making notes again. What about, Severus wondered. That he was too stubborn to tell the real story? Hopeless, unsafe, perhaps to be left amongst the wizarding community unguarded?

'Are you ready to take the oath now?'

'Yes.' Severus sighed inwardly. The wizard had taken a great load from his mind by asking him this question. The werewolf only hoped it didn't show too much.

That part was somewhat unspectacular. He repeated the sentence the wizard said to him, that he, Severus Snape, werewolf, would always live after the "Code of Conduct for Werewolves in Britain", and would always act as not to be any danger towards others… After that he signed the piece of paper on which the text of the oath was written down.

'97.'

'Excuse me?'

'97. Your werewolf registration number. Always mention it if you have business with the Werewolf Department, personally or written.' Severus could see that the wizard added the number to his personal file.

'Yes. I will. Thank you.'

Although glad that the procedure was over, he felt like a convict who had heard his sentence ("Werewolf for life, always under close observation, one step aside and you are done with"). The other wizards started whispering and packing their things, indicating that the session was over and Severus stood, not knowing what to do for a moment. In this situation, he thought it wise to wait until somebody told him what was expected from him. ("Always keep a low profile, Severus"). But there was still the matter with his wand … his magic. There was no way, he had to ask.

'Sir?'

'Oh, you may go now. The hearing is over.' The white bearded wizard, who hadn't told Severus his name, as the werewof became aware of only now, nodded friendly.

'It's about my magic. I think it came back lately. I would like to get my wand back, or at least, want to get rid of my squib registration.'

'Hm, well. That has nothing to do with you being a werewolf, hasn't it? Therefore it doesn't concern the Werewolf Department, rather the Minister of Magic himself. I suggest you apply to him directly. Although,' the older wizard added, frowning, 'it would be wise, to wait a bit with this appeal of yours. You see, the situation you are in at the the moment … '

'That I am a werewolf, you mean?' Severus cut him short impatiently.

'Yes. It would be good if the Ministry saw that you behave well, … you understand, live to the Code of Conduct … and so on … . If you bear that in mind and apply in a few months … '

'Months?' Severus nearly lost it. 'I've been without magic for over two years by now, by a stupid accident the Ministry was … well I'd better not get into detail here.' He took a deep breath to control himself. Some of the witches and wizards of the congregation who hadn't left the room yet, hesitated and were already looking at him.

'As I said. It's no business of my department.' His opposite shrugged his shoulders

'Then I better go and try to find someone who's concern it is,' Severus answered unnerved, turned and didn't wait if the other had anything left to say. He rushed out of the room, causing some members of the hearing committee to look irritated after him.

The whole registration business had been bad enough, and now this on top of everything. You are a fool, Severus, he told himself. Did you really believe that you would get your wand back that easily? By now he felt like a schoolboy who had just been told off by the headmaster. This was humiliating. He could hardly wait to tell Remus all about it.

Naturally, he had expected finding his social worker on the corridor waiting for him, but when he opened the door, there was nobody to be seen. Well, he wasn't his only case. The hearing had taken quite some time. Surely, Remus was as tired and worn out from the transformation as Severus was, and had business at the Ministry on top of that. Severus remembered about his plan to meet Siona to talk about Tim. That, indeed, was a matter more pressing than his. Because he, Severus Snape, was now a registered, sensible werewolf, who had sworn not to do anything stupid to endanger the health and lives of others. But he was disappointed.

He had no clue where to find Remus, and wasn't in the mood to go to his own office either, the only place which would come to his mind where he would feel safe and would have found some peace and quiet to think patiently. But the latter was something he was clearly lacking at the moment. He had enough. He hadn't done anything illegal, had he? He was already living after the Code for werewolves and wasn't planning to act otherwise.

When he reached one of the main staircases where you had the choice of several departments or down to the basement, he chose the direct corridor to the Minister's office. Severus was well aware that what he was going to do - talking about his problem to the Minister straight away without warning - was far from any official procedures, but he didn't care. The idea of writing an official appeal and wait, probably for weeks or even month, for a decision to get back his wand and his status as a proper wizard, was beyond him at the moment.

His ability to think clearly was not, though. While he was approaching the Minister's quarters he knew exactly what he was going to say. With purposeful strides, Severus walked on, turned a corner and came face two face with two tall, middle-aged aurors who were guarding the door which carried a bright brass plate with "Minister of Magic" on it. They both made a step towards him, wands pointed to his chest.

'And what is your business?'

'I would like to speak to the Minister,' Severus demanded in a clear neutral voice, successfully keeping any excitement and his frustration out.

'And your name?'

'Severus Snape.'

'Have you got an appointment?'

'Yes.'

The younger of the two checked on a list he had pulled out from his robes.

'I can't find your name here, are you sure it is today?'

'I am not on your list, but I have an urgent matter to discuss with the Minister. Thus, I guess that I will now have an appointment.'

His bold demeanour didn't impress the two aurors in the least. Severus knew that, but as he had no clue how to get through to the Minister he wanted to gain time to find a solution, or a date for an appointment at least. This time, luck was on his side. Just as the older of the two sneered and wanted to put him in his place, the door opened and out stepped Cornelius Fudge, the Minister himself.

Recognizing Severus he took a step back at once, looking as if being caught at doing something forbidden. Maybe the now seemingly intimidated head of the wizarding community had good reason to react like that, Severus thought. Perhaps it had happened at his orders that the wizard at the hearing had advised Severus to wait for a few months with his application. The werewolf was confirmed in his assumption when the Minister finally spoke to him.

'Mr. Snape! I didn't expect you … so soon after …. uhm... I hope you are well after this ordeal?'

'I am fine thanks. I think I will get used to it. But I would be definitely better if the matter about my magic would be settled,' Severus said pointedly.

He made a demonstrative pause and looked the Minister in the eyes. This did have the desired effect on the Fudge who seemed to shrink in the doorframe. Although he was quite safe with the two aurors between himself and Severus, and the latter would have never dared to use any magic on the Minister in this situation, not to speak of using wandless, in his case even somewhat untrained and uncontrolled magic, Fudge seemed to be terrified by the encounter. The pause also gave the aurors time to intervene.

'Sir, he said he had an appointment, is that right?'

'Well, no, I mean yes. We can have a word. All of us.'

The three followed Fudge back into his office. The latter did not take his seat in his armchair behind the impressive desk, but remained standing in front of it. One of the aurors had followed him and stayed near his superior, the other remained next to the door.

'So, I understand that you have come on behalf of your magical abilities, Mr. Snape?'

'Yes, sir. I have definite evidence that I have regained them.'

'That is very nice. Really, an improvement. Congratulations.'

'Yes, and now, I thought you could give permission to take me off the squib register and see to it that my wand will be given back to me,' Severus stated, his voice even and free from any excitement, as if that was an easy every day procedure, which it could be if the Minister was willing to follow Severus' suggestion.

But Fudge had other ideas. Quite suddenly he changed his demeanour. Taking a deep breath, he squinted his eyes and made a purposeful step towards the werewolf.

'So, that is what you have come for, eh? You think it's just as easy as that, don't you?'

Severus was irritated for a moment. Where did this sudden change come from? Right, he had been quite bold to intrude into the Minister's quarters, simply demanding his wand back, but didn't he have a right to do just that? He had just meant to speed the bureaucracy up a bit. From his point of view it was only a formality and the Minister was only holding up the game a bit, because he neither liked nor trusted Severus.

'Has it never crossed your mind that their might be some problems?'

'What problems? I can prove it here and now that I am able to do magic again, Minister.' He managed to stay calm and give the impression of a man who had his feelings, and any actions deriving from them, under perfect control. Oh yes, if need be, he was still able to stay calm if somebody tried to irritate him verbally.

'Problems concerning you person, Snape.' And now Fudge began to speak in a dangerously low voice, looking triumphantly upon Severus (rather up, as the former potions master was much taller). 'Your past, Snape, do I have to become more precise?'

'I beg your pardon?'

'Your past, your connection to the Death Eaters, to begin with.'

'I was cleared from that. This was ages ago and I admitted that I was a member of Voldemort's lot before I quit and gave my life to the interests of the wizarding world by helping the Order of the Phoenix with spying. I don't say that I payed back for my faults, because such a thing will never be possible, but I did change the sides and that was aknowledged in court.'

'As far as I remember we only let you go because we needed a spy and didn't have another choice, and … well Albus had talked me into it. And, what is more, do you have any written account of your verdict of not being guilty? I think not.'

Severus thought he couldn't believe what his opposite was saying. 'There were witnesses!' he said indignantly, now hard pressed to keep his voice on a normal level.

'Even if, now you are a werewolf. You should have learned by now that your species is not much trusted by wizarding society and with good reason. You are dangerous. Always bear in mind that you are only tolerated!' Fudge had become agitated, his face beginning to glow in a shade of red.

'And what is more, in your case, the dubious circumstances under which you have been bitten …'

'Dubious!' Severus patience (if there was any such thing left in him at this point) was beginning to wear dangerously thin.

'Don't try to fool me, Snape, you do know who bit you, don't you?'

'No, I don't,' Severus retorted stubbornly. 'I have explained that in the hearing. It was dark and I did not recognize the wolf, as we don't carry name tags, do we?'

'Good idea though,' Fudge grinned maliciously, as if seeing it as a good joke and as if he wanted to test how far he could go before Severus would lose it.

The werewolf was speechless, or, he preferred not to answer for the moment. Oh, how he hated that man, how he would like to lay his hands around that man's neck … He gulped, took a few deep breaths and forced himself with all his might, not to shout.

'What,' he hissed, 'what have I done to you that you hate me so much? Why are you not able to give a man, who has suffered for over two years from being without magic, his wand back? What do you expect I am planning to do with it? All I wish for the rest of my life is to live in peace and quiet, brewing potions. Brewing potions to make a living of it, and to do some research. I am planning to do research on the wolfsbane potion, naturally, that would not only meet my personal interest, but also that of all werewolves, and on the far run, it would be good for everybody, wizards and Muggles. If I am successful, that is. I am sorry to say that, Minister, but I am very much interested in getting my wand back the official way, with your approval. But if that shouldn't be possible, I don't see the point why I shouldn't simply buy myself a new one, although I have taken a liking to my old wand, as every witch or wizard would.'

'Well, you won't. I have foreseen that problems would occur, concerning your person. I have seen to it, that from now on, there won't be any money on your account. Your rent will be paid and you can eat in the canteen. For any extras you will have to apply for at the cashier's. Wandmakers in Britain will be informed that you are not allowed to carry a wand and as every wand is registered … and, by the way, I don't have to remind you that, as a werewolf, you are not allowed to leave British territory. Any questions?'

Yes, Severus thought, what do I have to do to get that grin from your face? He was breathing heavily. That little scene had certainly made the Minister's day. Severus wondered if Fudge had rehearsed this beforehand.

Before he could explode, Severus turned on his heels, brushed the auror at the door aside and left the office with great strides. He didn't remember when he had been so angry and helpless before. Perhaps he had underestimated Fudge who of course knew that nobody was taking him seriously. And here he had found somebody he had never trusted, he could, based on wizarding law, keep on a short chain. Severus was sure that there must be examples in jurisdiction where it was stated that it was a basic right of every wizard to carry a wand, unless he had committed a real crime. He was also sure that he would find ways to get a wand and to leave Britain if he wished to, but he didn't want that. He wanted to live a wizard's life on a legal basis.

Driven by burning anger, he arrived the registry quickly. He flung the door open and caused the houseelves, who were looking at him with great unbelieving eyes, to jump. Surely, they had never seen him like that before.

When he rushed past the shelves, his robes got caught and he sent some files flying accidentally. That increased his anger only more, and when he pulled at his robes to get them free, another stack of files collapsed, which was the final trigger for losing control totally. In blind fury, Severus kicked at file stacks, grabbed armful of files and threw them across the room. There, these catapults caused a chain reaction by hitting other stacks and causing them to collapse in turn. All this happened in silence, if you didn't count the noise of flying files and fluttering papers and his own laboured breath. In the end, a shelf collapsed. The houseelves had taken cover long ago.

Severus had completely lost count of time during his rampage, when he suddenly got hit in his back so hard that he lost his balance and had no choice but to fell down on the floor heavily, face forward, completely winded. The person who had stopped his action so suddenly was kneeling on his back, holding his wrists firmly. Severus was fighting hard to get his breath back, which was nearly impossible due to the the heavy load on his back. He was becoming dizzy already, when the person finally spoke to him.

'Everything all right again, Severus?' Remus asked with a strained voice, and Severus felt a wave of relief wash over him and thought what the other pointed out next. 'You can call yourself lucky that your houseelves are that loyal to you. Honestly! If they hadn't called me but some of the aurors instead, you'd be in trouble now.'

Gaping for air and struggling against Remus grip, Severus wasn't able to answer. He hoped Remus wouldn't start a lecture on 'how to keep a low profile' but let him go soon. He groaned and coughed and tried to wind himself out under Remus, but the other werewolf seemed to wait for another sign of his opponent to show that he had sobered up and become sensible again.

'Please, sir, if you let him go, he could breathe and probably even talk to you? I think, he isn't really dangerous anymore, sir.' A voice, Severus identified as belonging to one of the house elves, piped up to the rescue.

'Yes, you're right, maybe I should do that.' Remus got off him and helped him up instantly.

'Thank you, Deryl,' Severus croaked.

The addressed elve magicked a glass of water and offered it to the coughing werewolf who took it gratefully.

'What on earth, Severus, what on earth did happen to get you to act like this? Did you meet the Minister himself, or what?' Remus shook his head in disapproval. 'I don't have to point out again what comes with your status as a werewolf, do I?'

'No. Sorry. It was the Minister.' Severus looked down ashamed. 'I hope I haven't got you into trouble now.' He massaged the bridge of his nose.

'No. I won't report on you or add anything to your file on that respect. But it's not about me, Severus. It's you who will have the problems in the end, if you don't learn to keep your temper in check in the future. What about the Minister, what did you do?'

'I didn't do anything. I swear. I did not shout at him, I did not hex him or screw his neck. Nothing of the kind. You better ask what our great Minister did not do.'

'He was at your hearing?'

'No, I went to him.'

When Severus hald told him the whole story, Remus smiled weakly.

'Well, you know how this place works, Severus. Just to go there, without an appointment … I would call that … a bit unconventional. Did you really think the Minister would come and give your wand back to you personally, on his knees, begging for pardon for what he has done to you, for over two years as a squib?'

'A gift wrapping would have been nice,' he sneered and then sighed, 'You know, Remus, hope dies last.'

'Well, now. Time to gather the old lot, I guess.' Remus stood up.

'What do you mean?'

'You have been a member of the Order of the Phoenix, Severus. As such, we all stand in for each other. The Order isn't dead. I'll think about something.'

'What?'

'You will see. But you'll have to stay here. Promise me, Severus, that you don't try anything yourself. Stay here and help the houseelves to tidy up. Drink tea, anything. Don't leave the registry before I'm back, ok?'

'Yes, I promise. But what strategy can there be, the members of the Order could possibly have to change the Minister's mind?'

'I can't tell you yet. I've only got a rough idea.' Remus turned and went to leave.

'Remus! Don't do anything stupid. Don't endanger your or the others' career, just because of me. Do you hear me?'

'Career!' Remus snorted and stopped short at the door. 'Let that be my problem, Severus. See you.' He went out of the door swiftly, leaving behind a puzzled Severus who couldn't think of anything the Order could do to give his live a positive turn again.

When Severus turned, he realized that all the registry's house elves were standing behind him in a half circle, looking very concerned.

'Don't worry, I will behave now.'

'Oh we are sure about that, sir, and we dearly hope that Mr. Remus will have success at the Minister's.' It was Deryl again, who was speaking for the whole group of his colleagues.

'Yes, thank you, and … ' he cleared his throat 'thank you again for your loyalty and for being so thoughtful to call Remus and not anybody else. I would like to do something for you, but I don't know what. If ever …'

'No no, sir. That is our job. You are our superior and we have to help you as good as we can, and … you have always been nice to us. We haven't got anything to ask for.'

'Let me help you to tidy up at least.'

'Oh no, sir. We have our own ways to do that. Thank you.'

Severus sighed. Of course, they would use their own house elve magic to settle that and didn't need him to stand in the way. To have nothing to do but to wait for Remus was unbearable.

'Come, have some tea, sir.' A house elve named Rooky was tugging at his robes holding a steaming cup in one hand. Severus didn't object to that invitation, but sat down at his desk and drank the cup of tea very slowly, only sipping. But he wasn't able to fill the whole time he had to wait for Remus with that occupation. The house elves had managed to tidy up the registry in only five minutes, so there wasn't even anything to watch. Nothing. He could only sit and brood over what Remus was possibly doing out there, at the Minister's.

Severus was already wondering what he would do shouldn't Remus come back at all. They hadn't spoken about that? He wasn't supposed to wait here for days, was he? What, if the Minister got so aggravated about Remus, that he would arrest him? Don't be a fool, Severus, such a thing will never happen, nobody will be sent to Azkaban because of annoying the Minister.

After time had stretched considerably, one of the longest hours Severus had experienced, the door flung open and in came a triumphantly smiling Remus Lupin, holding a long small box which was wrapped in brown paper in one hand, and some parchments in the other. With a mock bow he presented the box to Severus.

'May I happily present your property to you, Mr. Snape? Will you please check it and if you find everything in order, would you please sign this.'

Severus hand was shaking a bit when he stretched it out to take the cardbord box. There could only one object be found in there. The one Severus had been longing for for years. When he opened it, he found a wand made out of yew which was indeed his old one and when he took it out and looked it over it seemed to be in a good state. He waved it and accioed a file which came promptly. Remus smiled broadly and the elves clapped their hands. He went on for some time with more complicated spells, finally transforming his desk into a rowing boat which swam on real water and was driven forward by self moving oars. By now, the house elves were cheering. Severus could really say that he was happy. Very happy. With another flourish of his magical instrument and a little incantation he conjured cups filled with hot chocolate for every one of the elves.

'Thank you so much, Remus. To be honest, I didn't expect you to be successful so quickly. After what I have expecienced with the Minister. How did you achieve that? I will never be able to make it up.'

'You don't have to. That was for a friend. And as to how we persuaded the Minister to give your wand back, … Well let's say we told him that we had heard that one of our friends had been treated unjust by him and that we were all thinking about looking for new jobs and leave the Ministry.'

'We?'

'Well, Harry, Arthur, Neville, Argus … , you know, everybody I could get hold of quickly. And I said I would inform Minerva, you know that she is working freelance for the Ministry.'

'You all risked your jobs because of me?' Severus whispered. He couldn't believe that.

'I don't think that there was much of a risk. If you really confront Fudge with a matter like this, he becomes reasonable quickly. He can't afford to lose so many qualified wizard at one time.'

'How can you be so sure about it?'

'We weren't, Severus. We were just hoping that it would work. You know, somehow it was like in the old days. Most of us were in Griffyndor, and it somehow reminded me of school, when we all stood together against … well …' Remus cleared his throat.

'Slytherin?' Severus offered and smiled 'But this is not a game, Remus, I really don't know what to say.'

'Then don't.' Remus grinned in a way that Severus, although he was in total confusion concerning his emotions, thought that there was something hidden behind it. 'But sign this that I can bring it back to the Minister. And these 'he handed him the other parchments 'are documents to testify that your registration a squib has been deleted, and you are free to leave your job at the Ministry whenever you wish.'

Severus took them, signed the receipt for his wand and handed it back to Remus.

'All right then, I'll bring that to the Minister's office.'

He went to the door but stopped shortly before opening it.

'Oh, perhaps there is something you can do, Severus. This occasion really justifies a celebration, don't you think? Give a party, will you?'

'A … party?'

'Yes. It's when you invite people to your home, make nice food and everbody has a lot of fun by meeting friends and talking. The day after tomorrow would be good. It would also leave you enough time for preparations. Shall I tell everybody?'

Severus didn't answer, he only nodded. He was so touched by what the others had done for him that his emotions were threatening to overwhelm him. He couldn't prevent one or two tears leaving his eyes. Speaking was out of the question, but he was so happy that he couldn't grudge Remus tricking him into giving a party. Although it was something Severus couldn't remember ever having done before.

'Awfully sorry, sir, I hope it is not too bold of me, but you asked if you could do anything for us, too and now the other elves have told me that they have indeed a wish.' Deryl said after Remus had left.

'Yes. Certainly. Go ahead.' Severus encouraged the elve with a hoarse voice.

Deryl came closer and whispered something in his ear.

'No problem. That will be easy,' he confirmed.

'Thank you so much, sir.'

Yes, that was it. Leave a little farewell present to the Minister and at the same time show some gratitude to the house elves who had always been so nice to him. He didn't need more than five minutes for the spells, and when he left the registry after gathering his few personal belongings, he was leaving behind a cheerful bunch of house elves, already celebrating their personal victory.


	19. 19 The party

**19 The party**

Disclaimer/A/N: As I've said before, the characters are still J.K. Rowling's, but she obviously has a slightly different idea about Severus Snape - or, what I desperately prefer to think: what happened in book 6 was all a big fake to confuse us and everything will turn out very differently in book 7 - hopefully in favour of Severus. Well hope dies last and I have to stick to this theory, otherwise my story wouldn't make sense anymore. My fault, of course, that I didn't finish it before the Halfblood Prince, but anyway, although a certain person might not be "in character" anymore, please read and enjoy the party …

------------# # -----------

Some people he met on the corridors were giving him surprised looks when he passed them. That was probably because he couldn't help smiling, a rare occasion for those who knew Severus Snape, most of all for himself, but he was simply too happy. Inwardly, of course, he was grinning about his prank, whishing he could see the Minister's face when the head of the British wizarding world would learn of this.

On his way to the underground he could just prevent himself from humming, so much were his emotions carrying him away. He was so excited that he only became aware that he didn't need to use Muggle public transport any more, when the train he had taken had been going for several minutes already and he was due for changing trains any moment. He could have gone home by apparating, and for a few seconds, while he was waiting for his next train, he considered this option, but hesitated to do so. Not only because he hadn't done it since he had lost his magic and would have preferred to do his first magical travelling in a quieter and less crowded environment to be better able to concentrate. And, should any complications come up, prevent panic reactions from Muggles, have perhaps some help from another wizard. He suddenly realized that the real freedom was to have the choice. To be able to apparate, or to chose the Muggle way of travelling, because he was still in possession of his season ticket.

Back in his flat he found everything as he had left it when Remus had collected him. As he hadn't taken all his belongings from Remus' place to the dungeon, there were still some things he had to get back, but he usually had so many clothes, that he could easily spare some of them. Due to his situation in the last years he had had enough time and money to buy more than he would ever need, and room enough to store everything, too. Being a perfectionist, he had also taken care of always having enough food at his place. But the fresh things were lacking now, of course. Therefore he didn't stay long, but went out again quickly to do some shopping.

He only bought a small amount of fresh fruit and vegetables, also milk and bread for himself. He had no idea about the food for the party yet. Nor did he know how many people he had to expect. He would have to ring up Remus and ask how many people he had actually "invited". But when he tried to reach him on his mobile phone, Remus didn't answer. He had probably left it at home when they had gone to the dungeon and was likely that he was still busy at the Ministry at the moment. Severus decided to try again tomorrow. As the party was in two days, he would still have enough time for preparations.

But he couldn't stand being idle either. Therefore he started cleaning and tidying his flat, an activity which left him with a headache in the evening. He had, of course, overdone it and hadn't taken into consideration that he would probably need some rest after the full moon and all the excitement which had come with it. Not being very hungry, he just managed to eat a toast and some tin soup, and that only because he wanted to be a sensible werewolf and not begin to starve himself right at the beginning.

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The next day in the morning, he still wasn't able to reach Remus on his phone, therefore he left his flat and made to visit his social worker personally. He had to be at home some time. And if not, he could still leave a note at his door or try to find him at the Ministry.

At the entrance to the underground station he hesitated. If not now, when should he begin to act magically in a proper wizard's way? He had to start apparating on a normal basis and he decided that it was just as well if he began with it right now.

Only, the stairs at the entrance leading to the station were a bit crowded, weren't they?

On the other hand, the more crowded the better, because a disapparating wizard wouldn't attract so much attention when there were so many people around that they didn't take notice of each other. And he also remembered, that it had always been easier to disapparate when moving.

So he walked on downstairs, concentrating, shutting the other people out of his mind. When he finally spoke the incantation, gripping his wand firmly in his coat pocket, it seemed as easy as it had always been.

As he had planned, he apparated in the park near the house where Remus had his flat. He waited a moment, looking around if anybody had noticed a wizard suddenly coming out of nowhere, but there was no bewildered Muggle to be seen. So he stepped out from behind the tree and walked on.

What a difference this was, he noticed happily. In contrast to being apparated by others, there was no nausea and he felt as if he had just stepped from a bus on his way to work. No, that wasn't true. That would often have been enervating and exhausting, standing in a packed Muggle public transport vehicle and having to breathe the little air which was left from the other passengers. This was much better. It was as easy as leaving the flat and going over to the neighbour next door. Severus realized that he was only beginning to feel the advantages of being a full wizard again.

------#------

When he rang the doorbell at Remus flat, nobody answered the door. He should have guessed. While he was thinking about what to do, he heard somebody coming down the stairs from above. He didn't know anybody in this house except, well, it wouldn't be her, would it? But he had hoped in vain.

'So, it's you again,' her expression clearly signalling disapproval.

'Yes. Good morning, Mrs. Trafford.' He tried his best smile, hoping to get rid of her soon.

'He is not at home, is he? Stays away at night often, doesn't he?' she enquired, her demeanour showing both displeasure and curiosity.

'Well, he is very busy, and, naturally, as a social worker, he has to be very flexibel in his working hours,' Severus stated. He couldn't just tell her that this was not her business at all, as long as Remus paid his rent regularly.

'So? Well, he seems to be very dedicated to his job, … as a social worker, I mean,' she raised her brows, dragging the words in a way which showed clearly what she thought of Remus' profession, if she regarded it as a proper job at all, that is.

'Yes, absolutely.' Severus' smile froze.

'And, may I ask, what are you still doing here, if he is not at home?'

'Me? Oh, I was going to write him a note. You see, he has still got some things of mine I wanted to collect today. You do remember me telling you that my stay at his place was only of a temporary character?' He thought that it couldn't hurt to add that information. Maybe that was going to get her moving on and leave him alone.

'Well, I don't want to keep you. Good day.' she turned briskly and off she was.

Hastily, Severus scribbled a few lines on a piece of paper he had ripped out of his note-book, asking Remus to ring him up on his Muggle phone number, which he added to his note and, if he didn't manage to do that before the party, bring at least Severus' things to the event. He hoped that this wasn't too impertinent, because by now he was sure that Remus must be busy with a really important task. Something, if compared to Severus' problems, the latter would probably appear rather ridiculous.

When Severus put the note through the letter-box, he hoped it would flutter away behind the door a bit. Although the contents were not really compromising, considering their existence as wizards, he wouldn't put it past Remus' landlady to poke under the door to get to read his mail.

-----------#--#----

As there was not much left to do, Severus went home again - by apparating, of course - and made himself comfortable in his living room. He chose a CD with sonates from Mozart and settled down in his favourite corner on the sofa with a cup of tea and and a cookbook.

That way, he hoped he would get some ideas for the party, but he got confused over the choice the book, which was quite a heavy one, suggested. In the end, he decided to go shopping at the market tomorrow and let himself be inspired by what would be on offer there. He could still prepare the salads and other things he had a certain routine in.

But he didn't give up reaching Remus at once. He tried to phone him in the evening and the next day in the morning. By now, he really became a bit worried. Therefore he went to Remus' flat once more, but without success. Then he tried the Ministry and asked at the reception desk for his friend, but as the person there - this time much more friendly than the grumpy man they both had experienced the night before the full moon - confirmed, his social worker wasn't to be found at his office either. When he asked for Harry, he was informed that he was out on a task which was highly confidential, but in any way, not in his office.

Disheartened and even more worried, Severus made for the market in his quarter to do the necessary shopping. While he wandered from stall to stall to choose from the rich offer, he couldn't get Remus from his mind. By now, not because he was frightened about giving a party and not knowing how many people and who he was going to expect, but because of his social worker himself. He was convinced that there must be something really serious he had been commissioned with. At first, Severus had thought about asking at his department directly, but information about running operations considering werewolves were certainly classified, so he didn't try in the first place. If Remus wasn't to be found at the Ministry he was out somewhere chasing after a wolf who had most probably overstepped the line. Severus only hoped, that it wasn't Tim, or if, that Remus would be the first one to found him before the aurors did.

Well, he would buy everything he could think of could be eaten at a party, would prepare it as good as possible and wait what the night would bring. Should nobody turn up - but that was hardly possible - Remus had really meant it and wouldn't have fooled Severus - but if there were too much things left over, he could still give some away to his neighbours, couldn't he?

--------#---#--------

Back at home, he started preparing for the meal he was going to cook. He had planned to make a potato soup. As it was quite an amount of potatoes to peel, if you made a soup for many people, although he still didn't know exactly how many, it took him some time. As it was so much work, he wanted to finish this first. It could cool down afterwards and be warmed up when the guests came. The salads, on the other hand, should be as fresh as possible. But he started a second pot with water to boil pasta for one of the salads in. He also laid all the ingredients he had planned to add to it, on the kitchen table.

He next task was a dough for a bread. He had always found that there was nothing better as addition to a nice soup than a homebaked bread. He remembered the cook they had at home when he was a child, baking fresh bread every second day. He had liked that very much, but would have had never thought to ask for a recipe, a young boy as he was. And later she had left them, his parents had never told him why or where she had gone. Not that they had ever told him much.

Since he had been at Howgarts, he had tried to reconstruct the recipe, but in vain. Although the houseelves at Hogwarts had had very talented cooks and had actually helped him with his bread research project, but he had never found that specific taste. Maybe this had to do with childhood, tastes change when you become an adult, and they probably have to be connected with the circumstances you have lived in as a youth, he didn't know.

Now he was preparing a dough for a bread of which the recipe he had found in an old cookbook he had once bought at "Mouldy Leaves and Broken Spine", his favourite second hand book shop in Knockturn Alley. He had baked that before and found it quite tasty. He had been quite proud, actually, when he had found out that you could bake most of the baking recipies of the book the Muggle way, using yeast or baking powder instead of a rising spell.

He was in the middle of kneading the dough when the doorbell rang. He did a quick cleaning spell on his hands and went to open. What he found when he did, gave him quite a shock.

Remus was standing in front of him, white as a sheet, eyes with dark rings, unshaven, and when Severus wasn't mistaken, he was also shivering a litte.

'Come in,' Severus said in a low voice, so as if he was afraid to scare Remus away if he spoke louder.

The other didn't move, just looked at Severus with a face which showed that he must have experienced something terrible.

'Come in, Remus. Tell me what happened,' he urged him and when Remus still didn't react, he took him at the shoulder and pulled him inside. Severus closed the door behind them and steered his social worker towards the kitchen. The other let that happen without protest, moving along automatically.

'I can't, … I can't stay, Severus. Sorry, ' Remus suddenly said when they had reached the kitchen. He turned and looked at Severus, who had a bad foreboding about what might have happened, but didn't dare to ask directly.

'I'm sorry. Just came round to tell you. Don't want to spoil your party.' Then he turned away and looked down, gripping the back of a chair and seeming to concentrate hard on a spot on the floor. Severus could see that Remus was on the brink of tears when he went on with a hoarse voice.

'He's … dead. They've ….. they've killed him.'

'Who?'

'The aurors ….. with their bloody crossbows … just shot him.'

'It's not … Tim?'

Severus hated to ask, but had guessed right. Remus only nodded, still looking at the floor. His knuckles where white from gripping the chair and he was breathing deeply to fight the rising tears.

So it had happened in the end. What they had feared one way or the other. He had run wild and the aurors had hunted him down to prevent any damage in the wizarding and Muggle world. Severus felt helpless and uneasy, seeing his friend - and by now he regarded Remus as his friend - in such a state. He hadn't just come to tell Severus all about it and that he wasn't in the mood to spend tonight at a party. The man needed help, comfort, but Severus had never felt very confident about comforting people.

Right, he had been Head of Slytherin house, but not many students had really come to him in similar desperate situations, let alone wept in front of him. And as a head of house you weren't a father figure, at least that was the way Severus had interpreted his role at Hogwarts. His status as a spy, playing a follower of Voldemort for some of the student's of his house, had allowed him to keep a certain distance, to everybody. Well, to be honest, that had suited him. As he had always had problems himself with showing his feelings to others he had never felt very comfortable when dealing with other people's feelings.

And now there was a desperate friend standing in his kitchen, fighting his tears and obviously expecting something of him.

'I better … go then,' Remus nearly choking on his words, made as if to go.

Severus stepped forward to stop him and held him at the the shoulder. 'No, wait. You can't. I mean, not in this state…'

That was the trigger for Remus. Tears streaming down his face he looked at Severus and sobbed. 'He was so young … they just … why …. I…' then words failed him. He cried, his shoulders shaking, and Severus had no choice now but to hug him.

He cried for some time, now silently, only a sob could be heard from time to time while he was wetting Severus shirt at the shoulder. Severus stroke his back a bit awkwardly and dared not to ask any details at the moment about how it all happened. After a few minutes, Remus had recovered that far that he had himself under control again.

'Now you may call me a pathetic social worker with a helper's syndrome,' Remus snivelled, ' but it was so horrible. And after I had tried so hard. We all had tried to help him. And now … this.'

'No Remus, you are not at all pathetic. Everybody deals with problems differently. As for the social worker, well, some are more detached some less. Personally, I think you are doing a good job. You have even given me confidence, if that's saying you something. Not that I know enough other werewolf social workers to compare, but I've come to know some others as a squib.'

'Thank you, Severus.' He blew his nose. 'Care to know how it happened?'

'If it would help you to talk about it, yes. But do sit down, Remus, and let me make you some tea, ok?'

Remus nodded and took one of the chairs to sit at the kitchen table which was packed with things for the party. Severus had prepared two mugs of tea for them in a few seconds with a flick of his wand, placed one in front of Remus and sat down opposite him.

'It happened the night of the full moon, of course.' Remus took a deep breath, his voice was still a bit shaky. ' He'd gone to the Lake District, for whatever reason, we'll never know. And then …' he had to blow his nose again 'Then they got after him the same night and shot him. He wasn't dead at once, because when he was found, he had retransformed. As you know, you can only transform when you're alive.'

'Did you … see him?'

Remus nodded and took another deep breath to continue. 'They called upon me shortly after I had left you at your hearing. I helped to find him. They didn't know of course, if they had hit him properly. We found him only this morning. … I had to identify him.' He paused and let his head fall in his hands, elbows propped up on the table. He didn't look up when he went on in a low voice. 'He looked horrible. As if he had suffered much. Being hit by a crossbow silver bolt is … well …'

'They used a silver one?' Severus interrupted him incredulously. 'What for?'

'It's the law, Severus.'

'Bloody law!'

'Now, there is some reason behind that. It's not very safe to shoot a werewolf if it has gone wild. If you are not very precise and don't hit something vital … I mean if you hit at all, it's safer to use silver, because it will kill anyway, … in the end. Sooner or later.' Remus sighed sadly.

'Ome reason! They are all wizards!' He hit the table with his fist which caused Remus to start. 'Why didn't they use a proper spell? They are aurors! And if not a stunning spell, why not a killing spell, or even an unforgivable? That would be clean and easy, less cruel.'

'As you well know, an unforgivable killing spell would be illegal in that case, even for aurors.'

Severus snorted indignantly.

'I wish I could have spared him that. But he knew what he was doing this time, quite obviously.'

'You mean it was his last desperate try to commit suicide?'

'Probably. If you have overstepped the line and if you know that you are practically "on the list" of the Ministry, as a werewolf, I mean, it only needs not to report to the dungeons and run wild. Transform without the wolfsbane potion and that's it.'

'But how did they find him in the Lake District, then?'

'He was born there.'

'Oh. Sure. But still, there are means to stop a rabid werewolf another way than to kill it.'

'Yes, but you have to see that by law, as soon as you've transformed, you are not regarded as a human any more, especially if you transform without the influence of the wolfsbane potion.'

'But there's always a human being behind that. It's only one night which makes the difference!'

'Would you have argued that way before you became a werewolf yourself?'

'Well, … not exactly. … Perhaps. But I knew you, and I'd have never wished for you to die like that.'

'Thanks a lot.' Remus stood up. 'Now I've spoiled your party, I'm afraid, by telling you this, but … '

'No, that's all right, Remus. We are kind of in the same boat, aren't we?'

'Maybe, but now I don't want to keep you from your preparations any longer. I'll be off. I think I will take a bath and try to get some sleep. I am exhausted enough.'

'No, please. Remus. If you don't mind, I mean. I would prefer that you stayed nevertheless.'

The other looked down on himself. 'But I am far from presentable for a party, Severus. I desperately need to change and a bath beforehand.'

'That shouldn't be a problem. You can use my bathroom,' and when Remus was still looking undecided, Severus added 'and I will give you some spare clothes of mine.'

'Ok. Too many points against me. You won.' Remus managed a small smile. 'Maybe you are right and I should stay with people rather than alone at my flat, after all this.'

Remus turned to the door. When he was on the corridor already, Severus shouted after him.

'You know, not that you get the impression I am only acting out of concern for you. To the contrary, I am selfish enough to want you to stay to help me with my party. As it was your idea in the first place.'

Remus came back and popped his head through the door, now grinning. 'Well, in that case I'll stay as long in the bath as possible. If you don't mind.'

'Do so, Remus. Enjoy yourself.' Severus smiled, glad that he had managed to lighten the other werewolf's mood a bit. Then he went back to his bread dough to continue the preparations for his party.

----------#---#---------

Half an hour later, Remus came back with a towel round his waist, looking much more relaxed.

'About the clothes, Severus, you said …?'

'Oh yes. You don't mind, choosing yourself something from my wardrobe? Take whatever you like.'

'Ok.'

'I didn't know you had jeans, Severus.' Remus said when he came back after a few minutes. He waas wearing a pair of black denims and a green cotton shirt.

'Oh them, yes. Well I've never worn them. I don't really know why I bought them, was a rather spontaneous idea, I'm afraid.' Severus shrugged his shoulders.

'Now, then. How can I help you?' Remus rubbed his hands.

Well, there are these vegetables to cut for the last salad.'

Severus handed Remus a kitchen knife. The other took a seat at the kitchen table, where he had quite a pile of different sorts of vegetables in front of him, and eyed them wearily.

'How do you want me to cut them, Severus?'

'Just cut them. Little pieces. No matter how.'

'Uhum. I thought you would prefer a certain, well … style. The pieces of the other salad over there, they look as if you had used a special way to cut.'

'No no, Remus. This is not potion making. You can hardly spoil it by cutting it in the wrong way. The sauce is the relevant ingredient, you know. Just go ahead.'

'I see.'

'You don't have to do it. Sorry, I mean, … I just thought I would keep you a bit … busy.'

'Oh, that's ok, Severus. I am glad that I can do at least something.' And he began cutting.

'You want to taste the sauce? Although the real taste will only come if you mix it with the other ingredients, but the general taste should be finished before you pour it onto the vegetables.' He handed Remus a small spoon with a bit of salad sauce on it.

Hm. Yes, delicious. Are you sure you didn't mix a potion here? Oh no, I am mistaken, it tastes to good for that.'

'And what is that supposed to mean? Although taste is not the relevant part of a potion and only because you have never had the chance to taste a nice one, doesn't mean that there are only horrible ones. Shall I name you some, and tell you about the brewing process?' Severus said grinning menacingly.

'Oh please don't,' Remus begged mockingly, 'I admit that I would be in for a lecture now, but do have mercy. It wouldn't make a difference, as I've never understood much about your favourite subject. As you well know, Severus.' Remus popped a piece of carrot into his mouth.

'Maybe I should give you a lecture. It's never too late for learning.' He frowned and crossed his arms before his chest. 'I am really sorry to tell you, Remus, but if you keep on cutting that way, we'll have to postpone the party until tomorrow.'

'Hey, you have a way to be friendly to your guests!' Remus protested laughingly and continued in a mock sneer 'I was wondering, though, you as a great wizard, potions, dark arts and all, aren't there any cutting spells? Don't you know some handy kitchen spells to peel and cut?'

'Cutting spells are not exact enough for potion ingredients. As for kitchen spells: I have only started to spend that much time on cooking after I had become a squib. Does that answer your question?'

'Then why didn't you buy a Muggle kitchen machine?' Remus started hacking away at another carrot vigorously.

'For one person? I have never had reason to cook and prepare food for a whole party. This is my first one. And I don't have to remind you that it was your idea, Remus?' He smiled. Although he considered them friends now, and Remus was his social worker, he didn't feel like telling him that during his time as a squib, cooking had been one of the means to keep him busy. Therefore, the longer it took, the better.

'My idea?. Yes, ok, but you owed it to us.'

Severus took another knife from the sink and sat down at the kitchen table as well. When he started slicing and cutting the rest of the vegetables from Remus' pile swiftly, the other shook his head.

'I can't see how you manage to do that without cutting your fingers, Severus. I'd never be able to do it that way. Come, let me do something else.'

'Sure. There are the plates and the cutlery to bring in the living room. In the upper cupboard over there.'

While Remus did as being told, Severus finished cutting the last leeks, put them in the bowl to the other vegetables and poured the beforehand prepared sauce over them. After having mixed everything thorougly, he disappeared into the bath to become a bit more presentable before his party as well.

----#--#--------

The doorbell rang when he had just finished dressing. On his way to the door he met Remus who was carrying a bowl to the living room.

'That's the last one, Severus. Everything finished to the minute.'

'Yes. Thank you so much, Remus. That was really helpful. Who can that be?'

'You'll know if you open, Severus. Come on, it's just a party, you know,' he added when he saw Severus' worried face.

When he did, Severus couldn't hide his surprise when he found Minerva McGonagall in front of him.

'Minerva. How nice to see you.'

'It's a pleasure. Severus, we haven't seen each other for quite a while, haven't we?'

'Yes, true. And I have to apologize for not answering your last letter. At first, there wasn't really much to write about, and when there was, well, it wasn't something to just write about a letter casually. You know all about it, by now, of course.'

'Yes I do. Oh, hello Remus!' she greeted the other werewolf who came out of the living room. They hugged.

'Good evening, Minerva. Long time, no see. But you haven't changed.'

'Thank you. And there I thought I would be the first one.'

'Oh, I wanted to make sure Severus didn't cancel the whole thing and came to help him a bit.'

'Now I think I understand whose idea it was in the end. I was already worrying you had changed completely, Severus.'

'No, no. Don't worry, Minerva. Only a bit of fur every four weeks.' Severus tried to sound lightheartedly, but as this subject wasn't 'light' at all, and Remus had left for the living room again, she looked at him seriously and lowered her voice.

'Is it allowed to ask how you are coping?'

He pulled her gently into the kitchen to prevent Remus to overhear their conversation.

'It is, Minerva.' He sighed. 'Well, I've only transformed once so far, but I don't think it will change much over the years. As you know already, I guess, it's absolutely horrible. Though, regarding the the social part, there are lot of others of your kind you come to know when you are a werewolf in London. Those I have met personally and spoken to were quite kind. It's a bit like a community. And Remus is helping very much, of course.'

'Yes, Remus. You were quite lucky, that he was there to help you. What a coincidence. What were you two doing out there in the first place, and on a full moon, may I ask? Or is it confidential?'

'The more people know, the less confidential it will become, I am afraid.' He groaned inwardly. Knowing Minerva McGonagall, she wouldn't give up that easily.

'Severus, is there something I should know? Remus doesn't look too well, tonight. I know, that the full moon was only a few days ago and has it's effects, but …'

'He had a drawback with another werewolf he is looking after, and took it very personal. You know how engaged he becomes when he is doing something, especially if it has to do with people, werewolves in particular. A young wolf got shot the last full moon. He had been to one of our meetings at Remus' place a few days before, and vanished shortly after. We think he let the aurors catch him deliberately to end his life. He couldn't cope.'

'Oh no! And now Remus thinks it was his fault, isn't he?'

'Yes. They called upon him to search for the wolf - Tim was his name - and when they found him, Remus was the one to identify him. It seemed as if Tim had suffered a lot before he died. Remus was in quite a state when he came here. He didn't want to stay for the party, of course, but I persuaded him. I think it would be kind not to discuss this with him tonight, or to avoid the subject of his work altogether.'

'Yes, of course. Poor Remus,' she sighed. 'He is always so concerned about others, perhaps more than is good for him, and then to be so cruelly disappointed… It's hard to imagine how he manages to appear so settled and calm on the outside. It must really be hard this time, if he let it show so much. May I ask, how is he like as a social worker?'

'Every part as you've just described him. Kind, understanding, but strict enough if need be. That's the reason I guess, why he was so popular as a teacher, back in Hogwarts. And one of the reasons why I chose him as my social worker.'

'But there is something else, Severus, isn't it? It's not that you hated each other before, well, despite your history at school, but it seems a bit strange to me that you appear to have built up a kind of friendship here. Not that I disapprove, far from that, don't get me wrong, but there is something …'

'We didn't have much of a choice, Minerva.' His face took a painful expression when he went on. 'Either that or … Look, Minerva, before you ask any further, or worse, start to discuss this with others, I will tell you. But you must promise not to tell anybody else.' He paused, clearing his throat.

He hesitated, because he wasn't sure if Remus would approve of it. They had sworn to keep quiet about how Severus had become a werewolf. He should at least ask Remus if they should share the information with Minerva. But she had always been one who was very concerned about Remus and a close friend. Perhaps it was good if a confident person like her was informed. If something should happen, whatever that could be, but with werewolves it would almost certainly be dramatic, it would be reassuring to have somebody like Minerva to help. Severus being a werewolf himself would not always be able to help his friend and social worker and the other way round. Having decided about that, he continued.

'The "third wolf" who bit me that night was a fake. Remus was the only werewolf present. I won't give you any more details, the less you know, the better.'

He could see how every colour vanished from his former colleagues face while the news were sinking in. Her lips formed a voiceless 'oh no'. If she had expected something unusual or weird, it obviously hadn't been that. She stared at him horrified.

'With him as my social worker, the secrect can stay between us,' he went on hastily, 'except from a few other people who helped us, like Harry and Hermione, and now you, of course. And, frankly, I wasn't keen on sharing all my frustration and anxiety with a complete stranger. And, true enough, there is no denying that it was also partly his fault that full moon. I am well aware that it means a lot of pressure on Remus. And I am afraid he had no choice to say yes when I asked him to become my social worker, although I didn't really beg him and let him decide.'

'Yes, indeed. I don't know if that was wise,' she confirmed, shaking her head showing her disapproval quite clearly. Recovered from the first shock, Minerva became quite practical again, as it was typical for her character. 'This must be an absolute nightmare for him. He is always so correct, always painstakingly working on not being a danger for others and then this. Honestly, you shouldn't have asked him, Severus.'

'Maybe you're right. I was very selfish there, but on the other hand, him being responsible for my good conduct and well being, he can experience first hand that I am coping. He wouldn't otherwise. And I do work hard on becoming a model werewolf, believe me.'

'Yes. I admit, you've got a point there. But still, poor Remus.' She shook her head sadly.

For a few seconds, Severus felt that he wanted to retort "and what about me?" but hesitated and then the decision was taken from him.

'Are you coming into the living room at all?' Remus voice could be heard from the said room. 'After I have taken great pains over setting the table and everything.' He came into the corridor. 'Are you talking about me?'

'I've just described you as a model werewolf social worker, Remus,' Severus said, hoping to sound noncommittantly, to hide the fact that he had just a more serious discussion with Minerva about him.

'Be careful, Severus. You haven't come to really know me. One step over the line, and you will, though. Then you will see your "model social worker" I am afraid,' the other said jokingly. But he did it in a strained sort of way, giving away that he wasn't really in the mood for joking about his job.

'Ok. As I don't know when the others will be coming, and as I have prepared a kind of buffet, let's go in and have something to drink and a little bit to eat,' Severus offered and led Minerva into the living room.

While they went, Severus was contemplating the fact that his former colleague had obviously been more worried about Remus than about him. Surely, it was a terrible thing that Remus had bitten someone, but to become a werewolf was as bad, wasn't it? And why, only why did people think that Severus would cope anyway, because he was so strong. Was it that? No, Severus, he told himself, it's not that at all. Let them tell what they want, they have never come to trust, let alone like you, and how? He had changed sides too many times, had been to reclusive, not open enough to build real friendships. How could he expect them to show more than a bit of pity? And here I am, supposed to give a party to all these people.

A little bit more of party feeling would be in order now, he thought. The only problem being, that as much as he was able to force himself to appear completely cool and undetached on the outside in dangerous situations (like as a double agent, constantly on the brink of his cover being blown, … well that had been quite a while now, hadn't it ?), pretending to be the relaxed and happy host looking forward to a party of which he didn't even know exactly who and how many were going to come, was quite another thing. All the more as he had never felt very comfortable about parties and had never known any reason to give one himself, of course.

And what, he couldn't help asking himself while he checked the table with the food things, what if nobody else came? Was that a sign that they really despised him? (You didn't care about that at other times, did you? he lied to himself.) And what, if many came? Would they come out of obligation, because they were curious how an ex-death eater was doing, or because they did care about him? Why did things have to be so complicated?

Luckily, before he could drive himself crazy, his trait of thought was broken by the door bell, and when he hurried to open Molly and Arthur Weasly greeted him enthusiastically.

'Great idea, this party, Severus, really.' Arthur beamed at him.

'May we congratulate you to your regained magic, Severus,' Molly said more formally.

'Not out here, please come in,' he looked around the staircase nervously and let them in.

'Arthur, please!'

It had momentarily become dark in the corridor. When the light went on again, Severus could see that Arthur was standing at the light switch, staring fascinated.

'Well, I cannot possibly live in a Muggle environment without using electricity, can I?' Severus explained, shrugging his shoulders. 'If you are interested, I can show you around. It's not very spectacular, though. Only light, kitchen equipment, my surround system … hairdryer and so on …'

Arthur Weasley was looking as if he was five years old, expecting Santa Claus coming round the corner every minute. Everybody who knew Arthur Weasley also knew that it was impossible for him not to be interested in anything which was only remotely connected with Muggle technology. But Molly was embarrassed about her husband's enthusiasm which she obviously didn't share and hissed something in his ear to call him to order.

'That's all right, we can do that later, when everybody has arrived and after we've had something to eat.' Severus smiled a bit unsecurely. Surely, it wasn't the normal thing to show guests, especially if you were not that close to them, every bit and piece of your flat. But he didn't want to be unpolite, and he had to admit that it wasn't usual for wizards to live in a Muggle flat with all the equipment coming with it, so others wizards would naturally be interested, or even, as in Arthur's case, overenthusiastic.

He didn't have the chance to show the Weasleys to the living room, but it wasn't the doorbell which interrupted him this time. A loud "plopp" indicated that a wizard had apparated into Severus' flat.

'Oh, sorry,' Harry said when he saw the faces of the persons present in the corridor. 'I thought it would raise less attraction if I apparated here directly. You know, in my working outfit.' He grinned, not at least embarrassed by his action which was considered very unpolite by most wizards. Even if you were family you wouldn't apparate in the middle of the living quarters of another wizard without warning.

'Really, Harry, will you never grow up?' Molly spoke out loud what Severus was thinking, but couldn't say because he wasn't supposed to as the host and Harry was grown up and not his student any more.

'Molly!' Arthur Weasly, who usually wasn't known to contradict his wife, but found her trying to teach the adult Harry Potter manners in Severus Snape's flat obviously a bit inappropriate, hissed.

'It's ok. I haven't found time to set up apparating warners. After having lived close to Muggles for the last year, it just didn't occur to me that I would need them. And it hasn't been long since I have been able to do magic again,' Severus heard himself saying to his own astonishment.

An uncomfortable silence developed for a few seconds.

'Right, then. Is everybody already here?' Harry, now looking as if he had suddenly realised his fault, tried to break the ice again.

'Only Minerva and Remus,' Severus answered and made a gesture towards the living room to invite the newcomers to follow him.

'Remus? Really! I have been looking for him everywhere. Did they get that stray wolf then?' Harry exclaimed and made for the living room.

To prevent him confronting Remus again with the horrible events of the last days, Severus gripped his sleeve and stopped him.

'Not now, please,' he whispered and when Harry looked at him questioningly, added, 'the wolf was killed. Don't mention it, Remus is quite down. I had a hard time to persuade him to stay at all.'

'Oh, right. I see.' Harry bit his lip while Molly was looking horrified and Arthur sighed. For the latter, having worked at the Ministry for years, such tragedies weren't that unfamiliar.

'Shall we?' Severus indicated the way to the living room and they all marched in that direction.

'Uhm, sorry, I didn't make it to your hearing, but I am not sure if I could have given it a better turn, considering your wand and all,' Harry began the conversation anew while they were entering the living room. 'I was on an urgent mission, at least the Minister thought it to be urgent.'

'Never mind that, I got what I wanted in the end, didn't I ?' Severus answered. It wasn't easy to thank somebody you didn't really like. He cleared his throat and spoke to all of them.

'Well, it seems that the latest venture of the Order has been very effective, considering my person. I have to thank you, all of you.'

They were all looking at him now expectantly.

'Don't worry, I am not going to make a speech.' He smiled to hide his insecurity.

'Thank Merlin, otherwise we would have to wait longer to be able to taste all these nice things,' Remus grinned and helped himself to a considerable portion of salad.

While Severus noticed satisfied that his friend seemed at least to have regained his appetite, hoping that his mood had improved in the same way, Minerva and the others looked a bit worried towards the happily eating werewolf and Severus. The latter was wondering why at first, but then he became aware that it was probably unusual for them to witness somebody making a somewhat unpolite comment on him and not getting a sarcastic remark at least.

But he didn't mind anymore, well, when it was Remus who did it. With some other persons, he wouldn't be so sure … But for his other guests, the idea that he and Remus had become friends obviously didn't occur to them easily.

He was spared further thoughts in that direction or any other awkward moments when the doorbell rang again. This time it was Argus Filch and, to Severus' great astonishment, Neville Longbottom.

'Nice that you have made it,' was the only thing Severus was able to say at the moment, he hadn't expected that of all persons, Neville Longbottom would make his appearance at his party. Although they were on friendly speaking terms, there was still a certain reserve.

'Not bad, Severus, not bad. And much nicer than your dark hole at Hogwarts, I dare say,' Argus commented on Severus' living quarters.

'There was nothing wrong with them. Actually, I found them quite cosy,' Severus tried to defend what he had indeed liked somehow, back at his time at the great wizarding school.

'Hi Neville!' Harry greeted the newcomer when they entered the living room. 'What was it that kept you behind? What did the Minister want this time? Must have been really important.'

'Yeah,' Neville said with a pained expression. 'Guess what! Some idiot gave clothes to some of the Ministry house elves!'

'No!'

'Yes, really funny.' Neville snorted and sat into an armchair next to Harry, who had made himself comfortable on the sofa, holding one of Severus' non-alcoholic drinks.

After his latest experience with Remus, Severus hadn't trusted those kind of beverages, especially not in connection with wizards, even more so as he was sure he had a somewhat different view of fun than most Griffyndors, and … well, he had never given a party.

'Fudge was the only one, of course who didn't laugh. Strange though,' Neville continued, shaking his head, 'who would think of giving them pieces of underwear, and on top of that, pink!'

'Brilliant!' Harry burst out laughing while Argus came back from the buffet, his plate laden with different sorts of food. 'Yes, who would?' he grinned broadly at Severus, telling him that way that he had a good guess about the culprit.

But nobody else noticed. The other guests were busy trying out the food on offer on the buffet, Harry was laughing too hard. Only Remus, who had not made up his mind yet about refilling his empty plate, was holding the item on his knees and looked questioningly at Severus.

'Did I miss anything?' Arthur enquired while he was looking around, trying to decide where to sit. Severus had enlarged the number of places to sit by magic and had ensured that they were all either sofas or cosy armchairs. 'Difficult to make a choice, Severus. Everything is really tasty.'

'Thank you, Arthur.'

Harry explained what the joke was about, causing Arthur nearly to spill his food when he started laughing as well. 'Never heard something so clever during my time at the Ministry, I dare say!'

'I can't see much fun in this, Arthur. Only think, the Ministry will have to pay them now, and … it's tax payers' money!' Molly insisted.

'Oh, Molly, I don't remember ever having paid any tax.'

'No, that's true, people who have hardly enough money to eat …'

'Was that meant to be a remark about my wages?'

Severus, far from being relaxed anyway, began to feel even more uncomfortable. As a host, you were supposed to create a pleasant atmosphere, and avoid any confrontations between guests, weren't you? But what to do with a bickering couple? Minerva came to the rescue.

'Molly, you should know about men and boys by now. Always delighted to get their minds distracted by little pranks, aren't they?'

'I wouldn't make too much fuss about all this, either,' Argus added. 'Don't you know that, nowadays, house elves have proper working contracts? They even get holidays. I think I heard somebody say that they would ask only for another day off or so, anyway. But Fudge is blowing everything up, of course.'

'But isn't it nice, that he hasn't got anything worse to deal with than house elves in pink underwear? May I remind all of you, that we had more serious things to deal with in former times.' Minerva smiled.

Harry was still grinning like a school boy who was impressed about one of his friends' pranks, while Remus had wandered off to the buffet again. And the subject still hadn't lost it's attraction for some of the other guests. Arthur showed his interest again when he asked: 'And can you trace the person who did it?'

Neville shrugged his shoulders. 'I suppose you could if you put enough effort in it. Too much effort for such a prank, if you ask me. I wanted to get here, so I told Fudge it was too complicated. Anyway, dark magic was used, so it won't be too easy. I hope the Minister won't insist upon investigating much further. I am not too keen on that, I can tell you. Excuse me, I think I will have a go at the buffet now, too.'

'Dark magic?' Harry suddenly gave up his schoolby attitude and became serious. 'But that'd be an offence if done in the Ministry!'

Severus groaned inwardly. This was not something he appreciated. From the distance of a few days, the whole thing seemed childish enough by now. He had only wanted to do the elves a favour, not to become the centre of interest at his own party. But he couldn't think of anything to prevent the situation from becoming more embarassing for him. He could only hope that his guests became too busy eating to discuss the subject any further and would finally find another topic of conversation.

Then he suddenly got help from an unexpected side.

---------------------#---#---------------------------------

'Tok tok tok.'

Everybody was looking around for the source of the noise.

'Another guest at the door?' Minerva enquired.

'No, an owl. At the window over there.'

Argus pointed towards the balcony window where a large dark owl was fluttering and knocking with her beak at the pane continuously.

Severus got up reluctantly. His first thought was that they had found out about his connection with this stupid prank and he scolded himself to have lost his usual reserve so easily when he had done it. It had only been possible because he had been so happy about his regained magic, wand and freedom, and … yes Severus, revenge, even a little bit, is sweet. If he would get any problems because of this he wasn't any wiser as a first year student. Well done, Severus.

But it wasn't a Ministry owl as he could see at once when she settled on his left arm after he had opened the balcony door.

When he had taken the letter from the owl's leg, he noticed a crest which looked very official but which wasn't familiar to him. He stared at it for a moment.

'Is it from the Ministry?' Harry asked.

'We are not curious, Severus. You can go out and open it in the kitchen, you know,' Remus offered, grinning.

For a moment, Severus even contemplated this alternative, but knew it would be ridiculous. He would have to tell them later, anyway. So he opened the letter and when he saw where it came from, he murmured 'Aberystwyth University'.

'I wrote to Erin Carringas, he is teaching at Aberystwyth and president of the League of Potion Masters and and I asked if my membership could be renewed, because I had my magic back,' he informed them.

After a few lines, his mouth fell open. He couldn't quite believe what he was reading. When he had finished, he looked up and found that everybody was looking at him, waiting for him to give them the contents of this unusual letter.

'Good news?' Minerva asked hopefully.

'Ehm … yes, well … I don't know … I did not expect this …' Severus was a bit lost for words.

'Care to tell us what it is about? Then we will give you some professional advice,' Remus offered goodnaturedly.

'Well, in this case it seems that you are the expert here.' Severus, still not knowing how to tell this openly in front of all the others, handed the letter to his werewolf friend.

'Wow,' Remus eyes became wide while reading. 'It seems that somebody must have found out that you haven't had proper presents for Christmas, haven't you? A position as professor for potions at Aberystwyth University for Wizards. Severus, there simply is no alternative to accepting this. I mean, after the Ministry has sacked you and all.' Remus smiled, honestly happy for him for having gained such a treat.

'Sacked? I thought it was me who had handed in my notice?'

'Where is this place Aberi… ?' asked Harry bewildered.

'Potter, geography!' Remus said with mock indignancy, imitating, of which he was probably not really aware of, excited as he was, Minerva.

'Mid-Wales, at the coast,' Neville informed them.

'Yes, it's a small but well known institution,' Minerva added.

'A lovely place. I went there with my parents when I was a girl. I had planned to go there with Arthur for our honeymoon, but … you know, the children came in the way,' Molly said dreamily.

Luckily, most of his guests were engaged in a conversation about this new topic, so Severus could talk about it with Remus more privately.

'But did you read what comes with this position?'

'Yes. Werewolf liaison person for the werewolf students there. Wonderful, they seem to have a very open minded policy towards werewolves.'

'Yes, fine, but do you think,' Severus cleared his throat, unsure what to say. For Remus, who couldn't count all the mostly not so well paid jobs he had lost in his life because of his condition, this offer must look like a miracle.

'Do you really think that I will be the right person for this? Tell me honestly, please.'

Suddenly it had become silent, and Severus wished he had asked Remus to come into the kitchen to discuss this, but it was too late. Everybody seemed to listen to their conversation now.

'Why not? You've got all the qualifications needed. You are excellent at potions, you have been head of house back at Hogwarts. Only, the students are older, but that's all the better, they should be more mature, you know. And they will be studying their subject out of their free will, because of interest.'

There he was speaking out loud what Severus didn't dare to say. As a teacher, he hadn't been excactly what you would call successful. Everybody knew that most of the students there had hated his subject and the way he had been teaching, and, even more important, he hadn't liked it very much either, to put it politely. Well, most of his students had passed their potions exams,hadn't they?

'Hey, you there! Impertinent …' Minerva shouted and directed her wand towards the owl who, while everybody had been distracted by Severus' letter, had taken the chance to get it's share from the buffet.

'No, please, Minerva, not in here!' Severus jumped to stop her performing whatever spell she was planning, causing the owl to flutter and screech angrily.

'The electronic devices, my surround system, you know, they don't go well with magic, sorry,' he explained to his former colleague.'

'Oh, I see.'

The bird spread it's wings, took off and came over to Severus where it landes on his shoulder.

'See, it wants a quick answer. You will have to write a return letter at once.' Argus stated.

To make a point, the owl ruffled it's feathers and hooted importantly.

'I didn't know that there was a vacancy, and I don't know if I'd have applied if I had known. I wish I had some time to think…'

'Severus, how many excellent potion experts are there in Britain, or let's say, in the world? And how many of them are not engaged? Not many, I would say. When they learned of your regained magic, they obviously saw their chance,' Minerva said and looked sternly at him over the rim of her glasses.

'I had planned, if I had planned anything at all, that is, to do a bit of private research, and brew potions to sell them for a living … ' Severus tried to gain some time. He didn't want this decision taken from him. They all knew how he had been as a teacher…

'Don't be ridiculous, Severus!' Minery snorted. 'This sounds much like retirement and You are far too young for that! Now, come on, don't hesitate any longer, or do you want to end up working for the Ministry again, testing the newest bubble bath potions before they are released for the market? I guess if you asked Fudge he would be happy to offer you such a job.'

'Minerva is probably right. This sounds like a great opportunity. But it's your decision, Severus' Arthur suddenly said.

Severus sighed. This was all to quick. He would have liked to have some time to settle, to get used to this new situation, but not jump headlong from the dull job as a registrar to that of a potions professor at university. But they were all right, of course. A job at university would mean to be able to do more research, the students were much older, they were of age and responsible for themselves and therefore you didn't have to look after them so much. With advanced potions, you could start let them do interesting projects … he was stopped in his musings by the owl who began to pull at his hair and hooted indignantly because it had to wait so long.

'Ok,' Severus said to himself and went over to his small writing desk. Without taking care anymore of his guests, he took out paper and a pen (he hadn't found time to buy parchment or a quill, but it was at least an expensive old fashioned ink pen) and began to write his answer which consisted only of a few sentences: that he was happy to accept at any time, would be eager to work as a werewolf liason person and would of course start to learn Welsh as soon as possible. He knew that as well as Muggles, witches and wizards of Wales were very proud of their culture of which the language had a big part and that the learning of the language was obligatory if you wanted to work in public institutions, such as university.

While he was writing he only half noticed what was happening around him. His guests were probably discussing his future prospects or whatever, he didn't listen closely. When he had finished his letter, he attached it to the owl's leg and let the bird out of the window. When he turned towards his guests again, he noticed that Remus had fallen asleep in the corner of the sofa. The events of the last days had obviously finally taken it's toll. And he didn't look as if we was having a good peaceful rest while sleeping. His grey face was still showing traces of the despair he had have to endure.

Nobody wanted to wake him, but because of his animal senses he woke up when Argus cleared his throat.

'Oh, I'm sorry… I'

'Well it's late,' stated Molly tactfully. 'Severus will have a lot of preparation to do in the next days. We shouldn't keep you up too long.'

The others murmered their consent and got up as if they had only waited for this signal. Severus felt somehow relieved when they one by one said all their good buys and told him how they had liked it, and the marvellous food. He was very tired himself and wouldn't have known how to entertain them any longer anyway. But he would have liked to know he could call his "party" a success or not.

In the end, only Remus was left. Although the others had offered their help to clear up after the party, only Remus had been insistent enough to persuade Severus to accept his help. That was as well, as Severus would get chance to talk to him while they were doing the washing up.


End file.
